Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => One Life, Live it, Celebrate it! => Topic started by: lily on February 13, 2013, 09:45:36 PM
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I am quite happy-ish at this age - glad to have child rearing days over and done, worries over parents now non existant as they are dearly departed, settled in my work life, have grown into my own skin and quite like who I am. Only is this the calm before the storm of menopause I wonder, lulled into a false sense of security?
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That's wonderful lily!
I find that now my children are adults the worries are just as bad to be honest. Perhaps yours are more settled than mine?
I am hoping one day to feel like you but at the age of 59 it seems to be a bit unlikely! :D
Taz x
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It's great you have got to this point in your life.
Like Taz I still have child worries although they are well up now.....I also have a 90yr old mum......so still no peace.
My sister's children are 39 and 36 and still give her real problems. I am not holding my breath for peace anytime soon.
Honeyb
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Lilly dont look for problems be happy and grateful you feel good
Some ladies sail thorugh meno you maybe one of them
Please dont go looking for trouble just be happy with who you are long may it continue xxxxxx
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Hope so Suzi - on the whole I am not a worrier, maybe that is why I see my job raising offspring as done. Feel like I have taught them best I can how to live their lives and rest is up to them. I know that does not stop sad/unlucky things happening to them but we all have to face problems we have to work through and me worrying about their lives will not help any situation that arises. Might sound a bit harsh but life is not all roses for anyone and we have to look onwards and upwards when we can.
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Are they still at home lily?
Taz x
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That's a brilliant attitude to have Lily.
I'm a born worrier I'm afraid :(
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I and Bobbles have a life we are ULY motor bike club members go away for weekends riding
Have dinners out people come to us to dinner like tonight
BUT above all that first foremost is my 38 year old son hes my life him and Bobbles
I love my boys and they love me xxxxxxxxxxx
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Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits and them me. Only the one still at home. Just think I have had to work through problems in life and so will they, as does everybody, but feel like some people never cut the apron strings and get too involved. After all, we will not always be here for them, so they have to learn to cope by themselves. That's not to say I will not help if asked to though and they know I am here for them. After years of being a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, wife (still am) I feel it is time for me to sit back and enjoy my time. We have to look out for ourselves too.
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I have the same attitude as you ,my girls are both adults now and I feel I have done the lions work in rearing them and its now up to them to make of their lives what they willl,of course I will be there to offer support in any way I can but like you I have had problems to overcome and I know they will too, I just hope I have taught them to be able to sort things out for themselves as much as possible because like you say we won't be here forever,both my girls are still at home but the eldest is about to moe into her own home and hopefully her sister will be able to manage that in the next couple of years
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Good attitude Lily.
I'm not far off 58 now and think that after 4 years of no periods the worst is definitely over for me. I still have the odd hot flush and the odd 'down' spell but overall I'm feeling good. It's WONDERFUL not having periods!
Okay my skin is getting dry and wrinkly and I don't have the energy I used to have, but I have more than some youngsters. I walk every day and three times a week I walk two miles to the gym, spend half an hour there, or swim, and walk back. I've had a few health worries, the most recent being my bowels, which turned out to be a bleeding polyp, but I'm okay.My sex life has taken a dramatic upturn ( which took me completely by surprise ) and is better than it ever was when I was young. I have a part-time job that I love and wouldn't mind doing a few more hours, and feel that I'm at my peak now, 'senior moments' and poor memory not withstanding.
My parents are gone alas, but at least I didn't have to see them slip into dementia and be put into a Home. The kids are still with us, and I do worry about them, especially my son who I can see still being with us when he's fifty, but apart from that, I've survived the menopause and a humongous mid-life crisis and come out smiling!
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Today I idly thought: at almost 60 I feel good. Apart from sciatica and the occasional panic attack, because I take meds regularly :-*
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Good to hear that you can go through meno and come out the other side smiling. :)
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Well done Lily and BoB :)
I don't worry half as much about my children now that school and college are out of the way :)
There is PLENTY I could worry about with regard to both of them but somehow I don't, well most of the time anyway :)
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My children have flown the nest, both have chosen wonderful partners. I now have an 11 month old grandson, who I look some of the time. Being a grandparent is wonderful. My parents are still alive. They look after each other, though my mum is frail. Sadly, my sister died a few years ago, so I don't have any siblings to share concerns with.
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I came out of it yes someday even now 17yr after last period I get a flush but thats the Vagifem hehehe
My days from next April will be full 3 days a week baby sitting for my soon to be grandson yayyyy
There is life after meno its just a different life we are lucky some nevr get this far hey? xxxxxxxx
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It's nice to read some positive stuff.
I was beginning to think that this forum only really catered to women who are having a horrible time and wasn't sure if I should keep reading about all the negative things that can happen during menopause - especially as I've only begun this journey and not experiencing anything seriously awful.
It's very nice to know that it doesn't have to be a horrendous experience and that there are women on this forum who aren't having a terrible time.
Time will tell and I know I might be one of the unluckier women, but I'm not going to assume that will be the case: just too depressing and negative to think like that, isn't it? :)
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It's not a case of being negative Gypsy but more of being truthful. On the whole women who don't experience many problems with menopause don't tend to consult a forum like this so it can get a bit biased.
At least you will be ready should you experience any of the more uncomfy symptoms.
Taz x
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I guess that's fair enough, Taz. But it would be easy to end up focussing only on all the bad things that might happen, as per some of the awful symptoms I've read that others' are experiencing and end up getting worried and depressed about something that might not happen to me.
On the other hand, someone who is suffering badly may not want to read about others who are not having such a hard time. It could sound like the non-sufferer was boasting or gloating. It's a fine line, isn't it?
Hmm, lots to think about here.
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It's good to have somewhere to seek reassurance and support and to be able to voice concerns. It's often difficult to talk to those who are close to you.
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I never speak with anyone close to me about problems ……….. ;)