Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => One Life, Live it, Celebrate it! => Topic started by: one year in on February 27, 2012, 04:15:55 PM
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Following a remark made by another member on another thread, I started thinking about how much I have "let go" following menopause.
For one thing, I have started wearing a bikini. I wore a one-piece for most of my adult years because I thought I was too fat for a bikini. Not sure what changed, I just let go.
I also stopped shaving my underarms and legs in the winter. And I don't wear make up often anymore or wear deodrant every day.
It's wonderful to stop having to worry what other people think!
What have other people let go of?
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Gosh you are brave.
I could not inflict my wobbly bits on the world at large. My razor is still my best friend. ::) ::)
I think what I have let go is my constant worry of what people thought of me. Now I do my best and if they dont like it they can lump it. It has been quite liberating really.
Honeyb
x
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I'm with Honeyb on this one. I too could never let go of my razor, and I do like to look/feel good, BUT.... if they don't like it.....tough! Now there's one thing I have let go of - caring what other people think of me. :)
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UUmmm good thread ............. let go of: not much - yet ;)
Probably need to ask Himself if he has noted anything that was a habit that I no longer do ........ ;D
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I honestly think I have become more fussy about myself since I have become peri.
Perhaps its a reaction to getting older and feeling somehow less feminine. I dont really know. It had been talked about on here before...the increase in body odour. I am very aware of that and I dont like it at all.
I really do have a thing about really nice smelly stuff. Body creams face creams etc.
I love to come out of the shower and have a bit of a pamper sometimes. It makes me feel better and anything that does that is really worth while for me.
Honeyb
x
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Great post......
Although I can't think what I have let go yet.... The hardest thing for me to let go is my kids.
22 & 19 two very capable young adults, but where did that time go?
Just as the meno hits me the empty nest does too... Even though I have always had a career my job in life was to be a mum so I need to rewrite the job spec :)
The kids may go but
The razor stays
And the bikini, the bikini wax, lip wax, monthly hair colour and extravagant weekly blo dry....after all "I'm worth it" ;D
Neeta
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I am with most of you on this, don't care what people think anymore, if they don't like me it is their problem not mine. On the other hand i would not stop using the razor and i always have my hair done and a little bit of makeup on. I would never let myself go so long as i have the health to do it.
I do it for me as i like to feel good. :)
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I dont think Ive changed much in what I do since 37 when pre meno hit!
I dye my hair every 6 weeks or so
Shave under the arms though they are very sparse and mostly grey
Try to keep the fanny trimmed though I hate doing it
Cos I knwo i get an Atrophy episode every time I do it no I dont know why?
PLus they are thin and sparse too mostly still dark but so thin you can see me anyway
Im not as thin size 14 instead of 10/11 that I can direct directly to Vagifem and not working
The Vagifems made my tummy bigger and if I put a panty on thats a girdle type I get lower abdo painache?
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I have 'let go' of trying to be the 'doer' so much.
But as far as my appearance goes am still the same. It makes me feel better when my hair/makeup is done & nice outfit etc on.
Some mornings it feels such a chore, but i always feel better once 'am done'.
I make myself have a pamper session on Sunday evenings, shave etc.
Stumpy xx
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I've been sick in bed for a month, but am getting better. I told Don that when neighbors finally see me again, they will think he's done me in and gotten a skinny, longer haired women. I have hated my short hair forever and now that it is shoulder length, I'm gonna keep it that way. So I'm giving up the standard old lady hairdo and will enjoy me instead.
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I think if you can let go a little and live a little more and not worry so much, especially about what others think that's great....just wish I could do that.
I think for me I'll finally let go when I say to hell with the hair (been losing it, a fraction of what it once was, my crowning glory, really down about it some days)...I'd have it cut really short and then get my nose pierced....some years down the line I'm sure.
I think just being yourself is so important, something I have still got to learn to do, better hurry up, 50 in 6 months time, I'm leaving it a little late... ;D (still a kid at heart though, 50 argh!!!!)
LFS
Trey get better!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Don't panic LFS - 50 is the new 40 ;)
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"I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several hit me at once!!!"
Great!
Ah!, was hoping you might have said 30, but 40 is fine too.
I'll start counting backwards this year...
Just strange thing being 50 though, not looking forward to it!
Perhaps I should get my nose pierced and rebel! There something to do on my birthday (only joking...)
Too conservative LFS ;D (I need to lighten up!)
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Brilliant thread. Some days I feel invincible - no one and nothing worries me. Never had these days til well into meno. Then without anything changing I become a useless weeping blob that can't move off the sofa. Reckon i need to let go of these blobby days. Or maybe let go of worrying about them, embrace them and buy myself a nice new duvet.
It's only 7am but feels like an invincible day - could be blobby by lunch. Embrace, embrace, embrace ...
:hug:
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Don't think i have let go of my physical appearance, in fact the opposite. I have started noticing fashion a lot more and started to shop as never before. When i was younger i wasn't so bothered so maybe am going in reverse gear. However i have let go of worrying about others opinions of me, let go of worry and stress a I did before which can't be a bad thing!
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Welcome to our thread Nan, I'm pretty much like you - no longer care what people might think of me unless Himself has a mutter ::)
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Well I had certainly let myself go recently as proved by going through 2 razors shaving my legs and underarms. Just couldn't be bothered up till now but thought I might wear a dress instead of PJs or long trousers tomorrow. Not actually planning on venturing out but if someone happened to come to the house unexpectedly they would think a gorilla had taken up residence.
Oh, and even gave my eyebrows an overdue tidy up.
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Bra. I hate the damn things and unfortunately I have 36 D boobs. Makeup, seriously, compared to a brain tumor, whats a facial flaw. Hair, can't leave home for a cut and guess what, I really. Really like my hair long again.
So au naturel it is for me.
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I am the opposite, I wax more bits, have a regular haircut and colour and have just started working out with a personal fitness instructor. But my husband having an affair with someone 10 years younger than me and 17 younger than him, has made me more aware of keeping myself looking good and healthy. And I would continue even if we weren't together as I am also enjoying looking after me more! So don't feel like its all for him :)
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I have often wondered what it would be like having a personal trainer. I imagine they are very expensive.
How often do you see her/him? and were they recommended?
Purplenanny x x
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This is interesting - i have let go of a few things. Due to the stressful nature of periM, I feel I want a much simpler life. I don't waste time with people I don't want to be with, or who unduly stress me out with negative attitude. I am thinking along the lines, of things I would really like to achieve whilst still able and don't worry about stuff that needs doing in my flat. My friend quite rightly pointed out its best to have experiences now and get my bathroom etc done when you are sitting about at home. These are our golden years!!
I still make an effort with my appearance and try to keep in fashion, but I can't wear high heels, as dodgy feet. I don't bother dying my hair, as its not very grey yet.
I never watch TV as always on here, so wondering whether to bother with the licence.
I sold my mini and got a more comfortable and practical car with a one litre engine and only £20 a year tax ;)
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Purplenanny
No not recommended, I just found someone local, I work out 3 times a week and do much more with him than I would alone. Been trying to loose some weight nd m hoping this will help. Yes it's expensive, £30 a session
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£90 a week?? Wow! Well done though. I hope that your husband appreciates the new you even though you are doing it basically for yourself.
Taz x :)
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Yes it's expensive but I work hard so don't feel guilty! Yes taz he does appreciate it and says it is good to see me taking care of me. Don't think he would dare tell me not spend the money as it would backfire into a huge argument!!!
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Is that expensive ??? .......... I suppose it depends on the qualifications ;)
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It sounds good value for money Ann. I don't think you should feel guilty!
Taz x
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True and he is very cute ( the instructor!), it's expensive compared to just going to the gym. But he does make me sweat!! I am doing more than I would on my own in the gym!
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Result then!
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I've given up wearing padded and or underwired bras - so uncomfortable, not got a lot but now happy to wear soft bras. Shoes are comfort orientated too, can't wear heels.
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I'm loving these pull on soft bras which are advertised all over the place just now!
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I'm 49 and been on hrt since 42 ( am probably fully meno by now) and i have let go of
1.Wearing shoes that hurt ...i prefer to walk now than hobble around
Looking to impress men,.. Dont want another one thanks and not bothered if i ever have sex again,so why bother to try and impress
2.Growing plants and watering them... Last year found myself "tucking in" bedding plants in fleece at night o protect from frost. I then decided this was actually mental. In addition i no longer go watering bloody baskets every day and never actually seeing them cos its too cold to sit outside.
3.Wasting time doing stuff i dont like which i dont have to do ie going o parties, talking a load of twaddle cos u can only really do small talk t parties lest you offend, and coming home knackered when i would have rather stayed in had a cup of tea , and a bag o wine gums and watched question time!,
4. Preserving my dignity and putting on "front" ....bugger it, we are all the same underneath , lets not waste any energy trying to keep face.
To my reckoning if i was made this way, well thats good enough for me, and in the end a lot o lifes problems would not exist if there were less falseness in the world... As that guru robert palmer once said "there's no profit in deceit, honest men know that revenge does not taste sweet"
My rock n roll life style eh?!
Ps godbless to all xxxxxxi love you real people on here.
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This is a lovely, positive thread - a bit unexpected as I thought it would be sad (as in, upsetting, not 'Sad').
I've given up wearing makeup every day. I never used to wear it often, it was something I mostly kept for special occasions, then when I turned 40 I started wearing it more and more often - not much, not so it's obvious I'm wearing makeup, just enough to improve my natural face. The trouble with that is that then when you look at yourself without makeup you think you don't look as good so the makeup use becomes more frequent - despite having had several occasions where colleagues have commented on me looking lovely on the odd no-makeup days!! Now I rarely use it, which saves me both time and money!! BUT I'm not sure this is anything to do with my age or peri, I think it's more to do with my fiance constantly telling me how beautiful I am, and how he actually prefers me without makeup on, and also the fact that for probably the first time in my life, I don't give much of a rat's arse if other men find me attractive, I've got my boy and that's all I need! I do sometimes still wear it, but it's more likely to be because I feel a bit punk today so I want to wear black eyeliner or something.
I wish I could say I've given up obsessing about my weight for the same reasons, he adores me exactly as I am, but I haven't, particularly as I'm bigger round the middle now than I'm used to being - and nothing flippin well fits me any more!!
I'm working on giving up wanting to have a baby with my fiance (I have 2 adult children, he has no kids) - this is a constant struggle. Tomorrow I'm hosting my first ever supper club for 20 people, planning that has meant I've not thought about pregnancy for several weeks, which is brilliant, so this is obviously the way to go!
Probably the biggest thing I've given up since becoming peri-menopausal is being married to a man I don't like or love!! ;D I had to meet with the ex-husband about the house sale last week - I look at him and I can't believe I was ever with him, I really don't like him at all! Funnily, since I left, loads of people have told me they didn't like him either, and could never understand why I was with him!!
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Love that last bit Flori hehehehehe
Well my vice is my hair get that done every 5 weeks cut coloured my new one is chocky brown with bright redfoils 10!!
Ive given up bread which has stopped me wanting to PUMP and BURP lost about 5lbs as well
Sometimes I will say OK and Have a BLT I can work it out to 20 mins and I start belching
Given up most dairy hardly anything anymore dont eat red meat EWWWWWWWWW
Wear what I like always wore comfy shoes now i need GOOD ones so got Rockpoint exy but fantastic 4 walking RED 1s
Perfume love it wear it every day now not just for special in fact started wearing a lot of clothes in the daytime
I kept for special its a special day every day. Dont shower every day now as my skin is dryer I use use bmoits now 2!
I walk cos I cant drive I dont go where I feel incomfy anymore I find an ex so as not too hurt people.
I cherish the odd weekend Friday and Saturday night alone as we dont get many of them
With friends Uly and sometime Sat and Sunday rides sooo busy. IM just loving the ones IM with xxxxxxx