Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Postmenopause => Topic started by: debbyx on December 20, 2025, 01:45:06 PM
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Hi
Is any body else that is like me and suffering badly with Anxiety and panic getting worked up over Christmas, I was doing so well and had a good few weeks where I was managing and it felt so good to be a little bit back to me again.
But as it’s getting nearer I am not coping friends and family will be popping in and I just can not do it. I am panicking every day its so horrible I am going to let everyone down.
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So don't do it. U will not be letting any1 down, it's how we were raised! Mum would say that once I had agreed to do something, see someone, go places that I 'would be letting people down if you don't go'.
Nope. Not any more. If people can't get on with their life without me then tuff. Not my problem.
I can't remember whether U take anything for anxiety, if not I would tell your family that U would rather have a quiet time. U don't have 2 justify yourself though families are great for putting guilt our way. Tell them now that U have a sore throat and itchy eyes ;-). That rather than spreading a Germ U will call off now .......... ?? what would their reactions be ??
Usually by the time 'it' arrives I've resigned myself as well as taking enough drugs to sink a ship. For 40 years we travelled a 5/6 hours car journey to spend 3 days with family; they all lived in one county so a. lot of getting in/out of the car, sleeping in strange beds with strange house noises >:(. Now we don't.
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Hi debbyx,
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. If it helps I too have found the Christmas madness increasingly more difficult to manage over the past few years, so I started to develop some techniques to deal with it better whilst still enjoying the magic of Christmas.
I'm generally quite organised and buy presents over the year when I see things I think people would like, rather than just for the sake of it, or in the sales. It spreads the cost and also means there is no pressure to go Christmas shopping at the busiest time of the year as I have developed a disliking of crowds.
My main issue is the number of requests to "catch up" with people who haven't been that bothered for the past 11 months. It feels like a tick list. So I make sure I schedule things in over the month, spaced-out, with some of them, then tell the others I'd prefer to leave it til the new year when it's not so busy. Unsurprisingly most people seem happy with the "in the new year" suggestion. My social battery can't take endless back-to-back events.
I can no longer tolerate the noise and crowding in cafes and restaurants, generally, where you end up shouting just to have a conversation, let alone in December when everyone is "catching up". It is sensory-overload madness.
I've also learnt to keep my diary as free as possible in the last few days running up to Christmas Day as we generally get a few last-minute, dis-organised drops-ins who I really do love to see, but it then means I don't feel rushed or compromise my own plans.
Some of this stuff maybe too late this year or not possible for you but just some ideas. I suppose I try to remain as much in control of Christmas as possible, with the expectation that there will be a few curve balls that I have to deal with when they arise.
I hope you manage to have a peaceful Christmas and look after yourself. X
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That's great DottyD68 ....... I found that once I said 'no' enough, people backed off ;-) and we have a 'I must check my diary so that DH and I don't clash' works too.
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Thanks CLKD.
It's a balancing act because I like these people in my life, just not all at once ;D
Christmas/December just feels like such an intense period of time and so many social pressures.
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There is a different option for another year, book yourself a fortnight in the sun and return in January when it's all over (says me sitting in the airport now on my way home 😕)
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That is a great option Sheila99. We went through a phase of going away in December (which nicely avoided all the Christmas pressure with the bonus winter sunshine).
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Thanks, ladies, but unfortunately, I have not left the house for months because the anxiety and panic has crippled me. I know that my family and friends just don’t get it and just won’t understand. I’ve even told my husband to go to the pun on Christmas Day and have his dinner there because Some days I’m not even capable of cooking a dinner as the anxiety is so bad why would somebody want to spend the day with somebody is useless as I am at the moment?