Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Donnadoobie on October 23, 2025, 08:45:21 AM
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This might be long, I am on a bit of a rant. Apologies
So! I recently watched a Stephen Bartlett podcast about the menopause. His guest was Doctor Mary Clair Haver, a gynaecologist from the US.
I started watching out of interest really, to see what she recommended. I left the podcast an hour later feeling absolutely bloody furious!
My story briefly. Noticably started peri when I was around 42 ish. The only symptom I had back then was extremely heavy periods, so bad that I sometimes had to change protection after 5 minutes. I became severely anaemic. I had a scan which showed a small fibroid and the mirena coil was mentioned but never materialised. I was prescribed, Tranexamic acid, another GP gave me the Progesterone only pill, which I had to stop before I probably murdered somebody!
Now, if my memory serves me correctly, I think my last normal period was in September 2015, with a small more spotting type period in Feb 2016.
I was never given or offered any form of HRT. I assumed because I had hypertension ( very well controlled av 103/65)
In 2019 I has uncomfortable feelings which I firstly thought was bowel cancer, sent myself for the free over 50’s screening colonoscopy, but no, it wasn’t that. Still feeling uncomfortable I thought it might be thrush, so I bought a diagnosis kit. The kit made me bleed, so I went to the doctor. Without a word of a lie, without an examination, she diagnosed Bacterial Vaginosis and sent me home with some antibiotics.
Guess what? Nothing got better and then one day, I was so scared that I had vaginal cancer that I went to the GP again, a female . She did examine me, said I was very dry and skin looked as if I had eczema. Took a swab, told me to do kegels and sent me home with canestan hydrocortisone cream. Swab came back clear, I gave up.
A few months later it was time for my smear test. It was very painful. She said she would ask the GP to prescribe Vaginal Esteogen. Which I have been using for the past 5.5 years, no issues, no problems.
Then a few weeks ago I watched the podcast. I became more angry.
She said that evidence into breast cancer use and HRT had now found to be flawed. HRT patches show no evidence of blood clots.
Women prescribed HRT within 10 years of their last period benefit from healthier, hearts, healthier brains, lower cholesterol, better libido and reduced anxiety
Am I right about this? My father had heart disease, my mother had Alzheimer’s, I have raised cholesterol, since menopause. Could I have benefitted from HRT all this time? Can I benefit now? (I am 63)
I feel angry women are not being treated for their symptoms, are palmed off with other things when all the time it is the bloody menopause!
I know I am preaching to the converted and all of you are so much more knowledgeable than I am but I have so many silly symptoms that I can now attribute to the menopause from watching the podcast. Anxiety, raised cholesterol, tinnitus ( yes she said that) low libido, worried about my heart ( because of my Dad) worried about my brain ( because of my Mum) and maybe, just maybe, this could have been supported.
After 10 years I guess I have missed the boat but feel angry that nobody pointed me to the direction of the boat to see if I liked it, or it made me happy.
I know this will resonate with lots of you.
Sorry for the rant.
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Duplicate threads merged.
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I'm 61 and was put on antidepressants for anxiety at 47. For years I believed myself to be mentally ill.
Had to go on HRT patches 6 months ago as the Vagifem and estriol cream weren't quite allowing me to empty my bladder. Well, my 'anxiety and depression' got better, too. I think the doctors simply didn't know, back then.
I've got raised cholesterol, too, and heart disease and osteoporosis run in my family. It is bl**dy disappointing to say the least.
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You have been treated very shoddily but you have not missed the boat for treatment if this is what you want.
The "10 years" dogma is arbitrary and frequently misunderstood.
It has as much to do with the US Medicare system which kicks in at 65 not funding hormone therapy as it does with scientific evidence - which largely related to women in the WHI study taking equine derived estrogen and medroxyprogesterone acetate -products that are no longer widely used, and as a group, deriving less benefits (but no harm) in some health outcomes in older age groups.
There is nothing magical about 10 years, the age bands were just drawn there for convenience yet this is often treated like the law by inexperienced clinicians.
Which sadly is most doctors, as little or no education on menopause has been provided within their medical training.
The benefits on quality of life, bone, skin and urogenital health are seen at any age.
I would do some reading, get yourself fully informed and seek out a provider who can meet your needs.
Unfortunately in the UK many women end up having to pay for menopause care, and I hate that I'm saying this but if you can afford it, this is money well spent if you can't get help through the NHS.
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Life's a lottery, you will either get some form of disease or another as you age, if you don't get any disease or serious ailment, we call it dodging a bullet!
My sister-in-law from a large family of females developed breast cancer out of the blue, we were all shocked because there is no history of it in the family but we found out that at 77 she was taking HRT and that was the cause, it was caught early and now she is fine.
Its not all cut and dried, systemic HRT is not always your friend, for some yes, but not all.
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"That was the cause" :-\. There are certain types of breast disease that may develop after we get to 75+ ........ slow growing and rarely requires treatment.
Quality of Life! In hindsight I wonder whether my heightened anxiety and nausea in the 1990s was peri :-\ but was already on ADs and certainly would not have considered that.
U probably haven't missed the boat for treatment. MayBe make a list of current symptoms, find a medic who is au fait with menopause and discuss?
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It makes me angry too but I would add that it's the two destructive, dangerously flawed US studies that set HRT back years and the US has form when it comes to bogus/poorly conducted studies and poor menopause treatment. The two appalling HRT studies were blown apart and completely debunked years ago but I hate to think how many lives have been ruined by them.
The US charge immorally high amounts of money for HRT products too so I don't have a great deal of respect for anything that comes out of there and the individual you mentioned is not saying anything original, that has been the new thinking on the menopause and HRT in Europe for years. It's a pity the NHS don't act on it but I'm guessing they can afford it. That said, your bloke Wes Streeting in the UK has said something about offering women regular menopause consultations but that's not much good unless the right type of HRT is prescribed at the right dose.
As for your situation, it's definitely not too late to start HRT but I would get cracking immediately. Try the NHS first by all means but I wouldn't hold your breath, they can be pretty reluctant to prescribe HRT so don't waste too much time on them. I would check out a reputable private menopause specialist and ask them to write to your doctor with their recommended prescription.
I'm 64 and I've been using HRT for approaching 20 years. I hate to think where I would be without it because I suffer from migraine auras caused by low oestrogen that get worse post menopause without HRT. My sister didn't use HRT until recently and has osteopenia but my bone density is excellent and that of a woman many years younger than me.
There is increasing evidence to suggest that HRT is vital to long term health and it protects women against osteoporosis, cardiovascular disease and there is increasing evidence it protects women against dementia and cognitive decline.
I think all women should be encouraged to use HRT. I wouldn't want to risk not taking it.
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Life's a lottery, you will either get some form of disease or another as you age, if you don't get any disease or serious ailment, we call it dodging a bullet!
My sister-in-law from a large family of females developed breast cancer out of the blue, we were all shocked because there is no history of it in the family but we found out that at 77 she was taking HRT and that was the cause, it was caught early and now she is fine.
Its not all cut and dried, systemic HRT is not always your friend, for some yes, but not all.
Ayesha, if your sister in law was 77 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and presumably approaching 80 now, she would have been using old style HRT years ago (possibly conjugated oestrogen) when she first started using it. That is not the same as the HRT used now which doesn't cause breast cancer.
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She developed the cancer three years ago so would have been on the new style HRT, at a late age she decided to give it a try.
I was the one on the old style HRT and ended up with too many side effects that it became a chore with anxiety through the roof because of the constant interference in my life from hospital visits.
My other sister-in-law is about fifteen years younger than me and her sister but with a lifestyle of having a dairy free diet she developed severe osteoporosis with a few broken bones behind her, she has now recently started HRT and is hoping for the best and now with a family history of breast cancer she has no alternative, she had to have HRT.
I would say be careful how you live your life, don't invite these horrible diseases on to yourself!
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It is impossible to know what caused any cancer, and any doctor presenting it as fact is misleading you. You may be statistically more likely to get it if you have certain risk factors but that's all you can say. Many women not on hrt get breast cancer, people who never smoked get lung cancer. Cancer was around long before we had risk factors associated with our current lifestyle.
I also think you should seek now, you may have missed the most beneficial time but you can still benefit now. It isn't a silver bullet though, you can still get heart disease, Alzheimer's, tinnitus etc.
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Agree with Sheila.
Cancer has long been around, way before old style and new style HRT. It will always be there. No way can any cancer be attributed to x, y or z. Genes may play a part, but in the main, it’s down to bad luck.
I was diagnosed with BC aged 38, non smoker, ate well, didn’t drink, exercised and it wasn’t in the family. 15 years later, it returned as incurable. I was on HRT for a short while, before I was forced off it, as the cancer was oestrogen and progesterone receptive. At the same time, I was diagnosed with a further aggressive cancer, unrelated to hormones. I don’t have osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, heart disease tinnitus as a result of not being on hrt. I have other issues to deal with though, that have completely f****d up my life!
Anyway I digress. If HRT is what you want and need Donnadoobie, then it’s never too late. If you think HRT will give you an improved quality of life, it’s worth trialling. But as Sheila said, it’s no silver bullet.
My mum is 74, she’s been on Premarin ( old style HRT) for decades. No cancer, no side effects.
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There seems to be a miss match between the new research, and women being prescribed hormone reducing drugs as part of breast cancer treatment.
I started then stopped the drug, due to side effects. My oncologist was not concerned, and said they would have only made a 2% difference to my risk of reoccurrence anyway.
I'm totally confused now.
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Listen 2 your body Aprilflower. Tamoxifen almost killed me and a friend developed womb cancer due to it, which we weren't warned about .
Quality of Life?
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Unfortunately in the UK many women end up having to pay for menopause care, and I hate that I'm saying this but if you can afford it, this is money well spent if you can't get help through the NHS.
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I am getting used to having to pay for stuff, physio, dentist so I am not scared of that route.
Thank you for your advice, very helpful x
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It may mean giving up an annual holiday abroad but health needs should be considered first so that we can 'get on' to enjoy the next chapter.
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There's no age limit to start HRT and if you feel you could still benefit from it I would definately try it.
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I’m not surprised you feel that way. I had an early menopause aged 32 and an ovary removed a few years later and nobody even mentioned HRT to me and at that age I wasn’t aware of all the trauma that lay ahead!
The gynaecologist consultant who started me on systemic HRT plus vagifem & Ovestin cream, told me that the studies done looking into the link between cancer and HRT were indeed flawed, and the risk is nowhere as great as they said at the time. In any event he said if the benefits outweigh the risks with any type of treatment or medication it’s worth trying.
It’s never too late to benefit from HRT - I know I could never manage without it - I tried and it was disastrous! I use the patches (as I’ve had blood clots in the past and the patches don’t carry that risk) vagifem daily (have done for many years) and estrogen cream twice a week at the moment but hoping to stop the cream when the patches kick in properly. It’s all a bit trial and error but you should be able to have whatever you need to be comfortable. There is no clinical reason not to use these things daily if necessary. I’ve read somewhere that you’d have to use vagifem every day for a year to have used these things equivalent of one oral HRT pill!
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Dierdre, if you happen to see this…..
I saw an old post I think of yours in which you mentioned that you feel ok when you first apply something externally but after a few hours you feel sore and worse.
I have that very same issue and cannot seem to find anything that I can comfortably use.
Have you found anything that does not eventually make things feel worse?