Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Clovie on August 21, 2025, 04:28:38 AM
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I feel on the verge of a breakdown. it's 4am i haven't eaten and I can't sleep.
I cannot cope.
Where to start - a bit of background, I'll try keep it brief as I can.
I've posted before about my 'problem', I feel I am constantly at war with the NHS about my 'periods' . I feel not listened to, like a liar, treated like a freak, a deluded neurotic woman, who has no say over her own treatment....
I am 61.
My periods have never stopped.
I am still bleeding, predictably, regularly, reliably, and for a predictable number of days (currently every more or less/around 20 days). No red flags, no pain in my abdomen, no spotting between periods no bleeding after sex etc etc.
I am prescribed 100mg Utrogestan and estrogel daily. I've been taking this regimen for 2 years.
This was supposed to stop my 'periods' but it hasn't.
I put 'periods' in inverted commas because my doctors will NOT refer to them as periods. They say my bleeding is abnormal and will be treated as such even though I have never gone through menopause and I still get all the usual recognisable PMT symptoms before my bleed.
I have just had my HRT review. I explained all the above. I told the nurse I was happy that my periods were finally getting lighter and shorter and I felt I was getting closer to stopping finally.
Yet - I am being sent for another scan, in 3 weeks time, the letter refers to PMB. Post menopausal bleeding. I am not yet menopausal. I just got the appt through out of the blue without any explanation why. She had given me a prescription for more HRT at the review, no phone call from her or a doctor or anything, she said if she didn't call me back that afternoon then all was fine. She never called me! Just this appt letter arrived on my phone!
I am terrified beyond belief.
I have an absolute terror of anything medical and severe health anxiety around this whole issue.
Ever since 2 years ago when I had all this with my GP, where they said I couldn't POSSIBLY be having periods at my age (I was 59) and it must be sinister bleeding.
The GP actually told me I had 'womb cancer' in those exact words!!!!
Cue 6 weeks of absolute HELL waiting for the scan . I cannot tell you how ill I made myself in that time.
Well, I had the scan and the sonographer told me I still had the womb of a menstruating woman and no problems at all, my lining was thin, no fibroids, ovaries OK etc etc.
So I WAS actually having periods still. ( but they have never been acknowledged as such since!).
I had a follow up appt with a gynaecologist who would not refer to my bleeding as periods and insisted it was abnormal bleeding and tried to get me to have a Mirena coil. I cannot tolerate synthetic progesterone, I was diagnosed at the start of my HRT journey as intolerant hence the Utrogestan in the first place. Had the sonographer not been lovely and explained everything she saw to me on the day of the scan then I would have been led to beleive I had some awful disease by the consultant as he NEVER said everything was OK. Said my bleeding was abnormal and not periods. Yet after a blood test to check my iron I was not called back to him. And that was that. No reassurance about the scan being OK. Nothing. No acknowledgement that I had been right about my periods. Nothing.
I have been left feeling like a freak ever since. A neurotic woman who is deluded thinking I am still having periods, like I am in denial or something... I have grown to feel shame disgust and hatred for my own body each month when I bleed. i am in despair
and now I have to go through it all again. I understand that a scan is probably no big deal for a lot of women but it absolutely is for me. In the extreme. I have 3 weeks of absolute hell in front of me.
They told my husband (who speaks to them on my behalf with my authority, such is my distress) that I cannot have HRT unless I go for this scan. I am stuck. My symptoms such as hot flushes mood swings etc are unrelenting and debilitating without HRT.
I feel like a caged animal.
I am spiralling into a crisis.
No-one listens to me. No-one takes me seriously.
What if this time I don't get a nice sonographer who will go through what she sees with me?
What if I have to wait for results with the same consultant who will not reassure me?
and will try push me into a mirena coil like he did last time despiye it not being suitable for me and the ordeal of any medical intervention is abhorrent to me?
I am terrified of course, I mean, what if I DO have cancer? I mean, don't feel I have any reason to think so, no red flags, apart from the GP saying my bleeding is ABNORMAL!!!! and is classed as post menopausal bleeding despite my periods never having stopped?
The bioidentical hormones arent strong enough to supress my own hormones
Please please, if you've read this so far, thank you from the bottom of my heart, I have no-one apart from my husband to talk to about this, I feel like I am going crazy. I hate my body. I feel like I am going mad.
its now 5.30am and I feel like I am a caged animal being led to the slaughter... :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ I know it sounds dramatic but I have such bad bad health anxiety that I cannot shake off no matter how I try....
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OK, Clovie, it's good you have your husband to help you through this. My mum didn't stop regular periods until she was 66. She never missed one & then they gradually stopped over the course of the final year.
It's very likely you will get a nice sonographer, the ones I've seen have always been lovely & if you let them know what you've been told & how anxious you are they will tell you what they see.
If your husband advocates for you he or both of you need to start correcting every health professional you see & firmly explain you ARE having periods not pmb. Keep correcting them whether they like it or not.
You absolutely can refuse the Mirena - I did. They cannot force you. But again with your husband's help tell them you will not have it.
Looking at the bleeding through the month I get off & on, I do wonder if mine is because my periods never completely stopped but a GP early on in my HRT journey decided to prescribe hrt as if I had. So I've been down the scan, TVS route & was OK. Some months I get a 3 day light bleed other months just daily spotting most of the month but as it always stops, I don't do anything about it. I was told it needs to be continuous for over a month to report it again.
There are women who carry on having periods very late - apparently my nana (mum's mum) did too.
You are not a freak or neurotic. You're simply one of the many women whose body doesn't fit into the NHS stereotype & your GP doesn't have the knowledge to know how to help.
Are you able to see a menopause specialist either NHS which is a long wait or private?
I'm sure others will be along to offer advice.
But the bottom line is our bodies all work differently & unless you get someone who is experienced you won't get the right help.
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Hi it could be that you are still in peri menopause and that is the cause of the bleeding. If that’s the case then Utrogestan will not stop the bleeding. If you are in peri then you may be better on a Sequi regime.
If you are post menopause and you’re suffering with breakthrough bleeding and there is no cause for it then the guidance would be to increase the Utrogestan or use a different progestin. There is a new progestin just become available called Nalvee. It is the same progesterone that is in Femoston Conti….a kinder progesterone .
Hope you find something that works. Unfortunately it is trial and error. I have undergone hospital appts and had investigations 5 times….everything was ok every time.
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OK, Clovie, it's good you have your husband to help you through this. My mum didn't stop regular periods until she was 66. She never missed one & then they gradually stopped over the course of the final year.
It's very likely you will get a nice sonographer, the ones I've seen have always been lovely & if you let them know what you've been told & how anxious you are they will tell you what they see.
If your husband advocates for you he or both of you need to start correcting every health professional you see & firmly explain you ARE having periods not pmb. Keep correcting them whether they like it or not.
You absolutely can refuse the Mirena - I did. They cannot force you. But again with your husband's help tell them you will not have it.
Looking at the bleeding through the month I get off & on, I do wonder if mine is because my periods never completely stopped but a GP early on in my HRT journey decided to prescribe hrt as if I had. So I've been down the scan, TVS route & was OK. Some months I get a 3 day light bleed other months just daily spotting most of the month but as it always stops, I don't do anything about it. I was told it needs to be continuous for over a month to report it again.
There are women who carry on having periods very late - apparently my nana (mum's mum) did too.
You are not a freak or neurotic. You're simply one of the many women whose body doesn't fit into the NHS stereotype & your GP doesn't have the knowledge to know how to help.
Are you able to see a menopause specialist either NHS which is a long wait or private?
I'm sure others will be along to offer advice.
But the bottom line is our bodies all work differently & unless you get someone who is experienced you won't get the right help.
I cannot thank you enough for this reply you've no idea how much it helps. I do feel like I am completely unhinged about this. Both my husband and I do try to correct the medics when they say bleeds when I one hundred percent completely believe I am having periods still. They will not have it.
I didn't mention, forgot, at 4am to mention that the HRT nurse had written on my notes, when read out to my husband, something like that I am having almost continuous bleeding! I absolutely did not say that!!!!!! and thankfully my husband was there as a witness. I told the truth which is I am 'bleeding' every 20 or so days for 5 days with nothing in between, that I get the PMT symptoms beforehand which are noticeable, to me AND my family.
When my hubby spoke to the doctor on phone later in the day and corrected what the nurse had put, she just fobbed him off saying, nonetheless, bleeding at my age is ABNORMAL.
I am at my wits end. I am terrified, I feel like a piece of flesh with no say in my life. I am distraught.
I would start anti-depressants but none in the past have ever worked for me AND they take 6+ weeks to work anyway!
I feel I have no choices and nowhere to turn. :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
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Just wrote a long reply and it hasn't updated the post >:(
The same thing happened to me. Aged around 60 I happened to mention the 2 recent periods I'd had and that led to urgent referral for 'unexplained bleeding'. I learned to keep my trap shut after that, carried on with sequential utro and never mentioned periods again (I could truthfully say I had no unexpected bleeding :)). They aren't watching how and when you take utro and the amount prescribed is the same for both. If you aren't meno utro is never going to stop you bleeding, better to leave conti until your body is ready for it.
You're not alone and you're not a freak. The problem is ignorance within the medical profession who don't know that some women aren't meno til their early 60s.
If your anxiety and insomnia are meno symptoms you might ask for a higher dose of oestrogen to control them.
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Hi it could be that you are still in peri menopause and that is the cause of the bleeding. If that’s the case then Utrogestan will not stop the bleeding. If you are in peri then you may be better on a Sequi regime.
If you are post menopause and you’re suffering with breakthrough bleeding and there is no cause for it then the guidance would be to increase the Utrogestan or use a different progestin. There is a new progestin just become available called Nalvee. It is the same progesterone that is in Femoston Conti….a kinder progesterone .
Hope you find something that works. Unfortunately it is trial and error. I have undergone hospital appts and had investigations 5 times….everything was ok every time.
Thank you Dotty! I really appreciate your reply.
i am perimenopausal, my periods have never ever stopped. i used to be on sequential but I couldn't sync my withdrawal bleeds with my own cycle so was bleeding too much and getting anaemia. I was put on continuous which was meant to stop my bleeding, but it hasn't, its still regular, predictable for a defined length and with PMT beforehand. So, to me they are periods.
I really am glad that your investigations turned out well, and thank you for the reassurance there , appreciate it so much.
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Just wrote a long reply and it hasn't updated the post >:(
The same thing happened to me. Aged around 60 I happened to mention the 2 recent periods I'd had and that led to urgent referral for 'unexplained bleeding'. I learned to keep my trap shut after that, carried on with sequential utro and never mentioned periods again (I could truthfully say I had no unexpected bleeding :)). They aren't watching how and when you take utro and the amount prescribed is the same for both. If you aren't meno utro is never going to stop you bleeding, better to leave conti until your body is ready for it.
You're not alone and you're not a freak. The problem is ignorance within the medical profession who don't know that some women aren't meno til their early 60s.
If your anxiety and insomnia are meno symptoms you might ask for a higher dose of oestrogen to control them.
Sheila, that is spooky! Spooky that my husband and I just had this exact conversation, it would be the easiest thing in the world to have just gone in to the review and said my periods had now stopped!?!
Instead I was honest. and I am now being put through the wringer AGAIN for my trouble. I know I seem over dramatic about it but I do have overwhelming health anxiety so it is a massive huge deal for me whereas any other woman might not be concerned about it at all OR might have some level of anxiety. for me the next 3 weeks will be utter hell.
Thank you so much for replying, its good to be able to talk to someone other than my hubby as i feel he imust be sick of me (deep down!) banging on about it literally nonstop, it must be hard for him to deal with me it really must... :-\
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By the NHS' own definition if you have never gone 12 months without a period you are not postmenopausal.
The character of the monthly bleeds you describe is consistent with ongoing menstruation.
Some even supposedly bright people have a poor understanding of what "average" means, in that the "average" age of menopause is 51.
The same people are also telling young women with POI in their 20's or 30s that they "can't" be menopausal, despite their periods stopping and vasomotor symptoms.
I can understand the rationale for a routine scan just to check everything is OK given you are at the later end, but there is nothing clinically to suspect cancer and no need to keep repeating such scans if normal.
The PMB route is often used inappropriately for bureaucratic reasons as there are limited other options for requesting a gynae scan and they have to put something or choose an indication from a drop down list.
So I think you will have to go this time if your prescription is under threat, however you can ask at your appointment for an external scan to be done which is often perfectly adequate to visualise the endometrium and pelvic organs and can avoid the need for a vaginal probe. If you plan to do this, go with a full bladder.
I would not however keep telling them you are still menstruating, as they are not dealing with this information appropriately which is resulting in you being harmed by stressful and traumatic procedures, and only disclose any further bleeding if it is unusual for you, and that you want investigated.
You could if you haven't already consider a mirena IUS.
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By the NHS' own definition if you have never gone 12 months without a period you are not postmenopausal.
The character of the monthly bleeds you describe is consistent with ongoing menstruation.
Some even supposedly bright people have a poor understanding of what "average" means, in that the "average" age of menopause is 51.
The same people are also telling young women with POI in their 20's or 30s that they "can't" be menopausal, despite their periods stopping and vasomotor symptoms.
I can understand the rationale for a routine scan just to check everything is OK given you are at the later end, but there is nothing clinically to suspect cancer and no need to keep repeating such scans if normal.
The PMB route is often used inappropriately for bureaucratic reasons as there are limited other options for requesting a gynae scan and they have to put something or choose an indication from a drop down list.
So I think you will have to go this time if your prescription is under threat, however you can ask at your appointment for an external scan to be done which is often perfectly adequate to visualise the endometrium and pelvic organs and can avoid the need for a vaginal probe. If you plan to do this, go with a full bladder.
I would not however keep telling them you are still menstruating, as they are not dealing with this information appropriately which is resulting in you being harmed by stressful and traumatic procedures, and only disclose any further bleeding if it is unusual for you, and that you want investigated.
You could if you haven't already consider a mirena IUS.
Thank you so much Bombshell, your post made me feel a little calmer.
You're right, I have no signs of cancer, only problem seems to be that I am 61 and the continuous estrogel and utrogestan has not stopped my regular bleeds. Sorry, my PERIODS.
Honestly I am at my absolute wits end, I dont know how I am going to cope like this until 3 weeks time :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\
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Clovie, if you take a look on this forum alone there are lots of us who have been through the worrying time waiting for scans, hysteroscopy & then results & by far the majority of us are absolutely fine. I know it's easy to say but if you can focus on that fact & accept that frustrating as it is, you're being well looked after in that you are being investigated, it may help to calm your anxiety.
I know its hard but you do need to try to focus on the fact at the moment this is a means to an end to continue your HRT. As I said earlier I ignore my bleeding because I understand more about it now. I'm sure you'll find everything is OK.
If you want to get your noted corrected then it may be you need to contact the practice manager to let them know you aren't bleeding continuously.
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Clovie, if you take a look on this forum alone there are lots of us who have been through the worrying time waiting for scans, hysteroscopy & then results & by far the majority of us are absolutely fine. I know it's easy to say but if you can focus on that fact & accept that frustrating as it is, you're being well looked after in that you are being investigated, it may help to calm your anxiety.
I know its hard but you do need to try to focus on the fact at the moment this is a means to an end to continue your HRT. As I said earlier I ignore my bleeding because I understand more about it now. I'm sure you'll find everything is OK.
If you want to get your noted corrected then it may be you need to contact the practice manager to let them know you aren't bleeding continuously.
Thanks once again. It means a lot that you have taken the time to reply again. My husband is saying just the same as you and you're both right, of course.
It doesn't help me much though because try as I might I have zero control on this catastrophising mindset I always get with health stuff.
I'm sick of me.
I'm sick of feeling like this, it is awful and there's nothing I can do :'( :'( :'(
My husband has phoned the surgery this morning about getting copies of the nurse's notes and a copy of the referral letter they sent.
Apparently this request has to go through the doctor first so he can't collect them until tomorrow. More stress. Why on earth does a copy of my information need to go through a Dr first? Its a little thing - but added to how I feel it feels huge. :'(
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Usual disclaimers. Here's what the robot says:
Understanding the Medical Side
Why they insist on a scan: In women over 55, any vaginal bleeding is automatically classed as "postmenopausal bleeding" by guidelines - even if the woman feels she’s still having periods. This doesn’t mean cancer is likely. It’s just a rule doctors must follow to be safe.
Her previous scan was fine: Thin lining, normal womb and ovaries, and lighter periods now - all positive signs. That history lowers the chance of anything sinister.
Most common causes of bleeding at this age are HRT-related or hormonal, not cancer. Endometrial cancer risk is low, especially with no red-flag symptoms (pain, heavy clots, irregular spotting, bleeding after sex).
Taking Back Some Control
Advocate via her husband: Since he already speaks for her, prepare questions for the scan day:
Can the sonographer please explain what they see in real time?
When and how will results be given? (Ask for a call rather than a silent wait.)
Clarify: “If the scan is normal again, can my bleeding be accepted as cyclical from HRT/ovarian activity?”
Ask for continuity: Request the same sonographer or at least note her severe health anxiety in the referral so staff handle her gently.
Second opinion: She has a right to request another gynaecologist if she feels dismissed or pressured toward unsuitable treatment (like the Mirena).
When It Feels Overwhelming
She described feeling like a “caged animal” and “led to slaughter” - those are signs she’s in crisis. If she feels she cannot cope or is at risk of harming herself:
In the UK, she can call 111 for urgent medical help, or 999 in an emergency.
Call Samaritans (116 123, 24/7 free) to talk to someone right away.
Tell her GP explicitly: “I have severe health anxiety and I am in crisis waiting for this scan.” They may fast-track mental health or support services.
Bottom line:
Her bleeding is most likely explained by hormones and HRT.
The scan is a precaution, not a verdict.
She has the right to be treated with respect, have things explained, and refuse treatments that don’t suit her.
She is not a freak, not alone, and not without options.
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Usual disclaimers. Here's what the robot says:
Understanding the Medical Side
Why they insist on a scan: In women over 55, any vaginal bleeding is automatically classed as "postmenopausal bleeding" by guidelines - even if the woman feels she’s still having periods. This doesn’t mean cancer is likely. It’s just a rule doctors must follow to be safe.
Her previous scan was fine: Thin lining, normal womb and ovaries, and lighter periods now - all positive signs. That history lowers the chance of anything sinister.
Most common causes of bleeding at this age are HRT-related or hormonal, not cancer. Endometrial cancer risk is low, especially with no red-flag symptoms (pain, heavy clots, irregular spotting, bleeding after sex).
Taking Back Some Control
Advocate via her husband: Since he already speaks for her, prepare questions for the scan day:
Can the sonographer please explain what they see in real time?
When and how will results be given? (Ask for a call rather than a silent wait.)
Clarify: “If the scan is normal again, can my bleeding be accepted as cyclical from HRT/ovarian activity?”
Ask for continuity: Request the same sonographer or at least note her severe health anxiety in the referral so staff handle her gently.
Second opinion: She has a right to request another gynaecologist if she feels dismissed or pressured toward unsuitable treatment (like the Mirena).
When It Feels Overwhelming
She described feeling like a “caged animal” and “led to slaughter” - those are signs she’s in crisis. If she feels she cannot cope or is at risk of harming herself:
In the UK, she can call 111 for urgent medical help, or 999 in an emergency.
Call Samaritans (116 123, 24/7 free) to talk to someone right away.
Tell her GP explicitly: “I have severe health anxiety and I am in crisis waiting for this scan.” They may fast-track mental health or support services.
Bottom line:
Her bleeding is most likely explained by hormones and HRT.
The scan is a precaution, not a verdict.
She has the right to be treated with respect, have things explained, and refuse treatments that don’t suit her.
She is not a freak, not alone, and not without options.
Thanks for this Emma, it helps.
I'm not at risk of hurting myself or anything, I just spiral deep into anxiety at times like this, always have done. I can't regulate my emotional responses. :-\
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Perhaps it's time the guidelines were updated as clearly the assumption that everyone is meno by 55 is just plain wrong and leads to unnecessary worry and intrusive procedures for those women still having perfectly normal periods.
I've also been told by a meno specialist that I can't possibly be having periods at 57 (before any hormone treatment) because apparently 'all women are meno by 54'.
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Perhaps it's time the guidelines were updated as clearly the assumption that everyone is meno by 55 is just plain wrong and leads to unnecessary worry and intrusive procedures for those women still having perfectly normal periods.
I've also been told by a meno specialist that I can't possibly be having periods at 57 (before any hormone treatment) because apparently 'all women are meno by 54'.
I totally agree!!!!! :'(
This was said to me too.
In fact a Dr at my surgery actually told me I had womb cancer, not 'lets rule it out' or anything, but no - I had womb cancer as my periods could not possibly be periods. (I didn't, the scan showed age 59 I had the womb of a menstruating woman)
Its so frustrating and it's scary as hell.
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I do wonder, as we all do on here, if any of these professionals have much idea about anything.
I've mentioned before, but for Clovie's benefit, my gynae told me 'women always go through menopause at a younger age than their mothers '. That is absolutely incorrect. There is zero evidence for that.
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I do wonder, as we all do on here, if any of these professionals have much idea about anything.
I've mentioned before, but for Clovie's benefit, my gynae told me 'women always go through menopause at a younger age than their mothers '. That is absolutely incorrect. There is zero evidence for that.
That's just outrageous. How would that possibly work down the generations?
How could that gynae, an obviously learned professional, have not considered the basic maths of this even :o
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I wonder what he tells those younger women who can't get hrt because they're 'too young for menopause'. Anyone outside 'normal' meno age gets poor service.
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I actually think there is a grain of truth in what he is meaning - the average age of menopause has gotten younger over the generations, there are suggestions it used to be around 57 in Victorian times.
Back then only the fittest, healthiest women with really good genes and the best access to resources lived that long without modern technology and hygiene practices.
I think these late menopausing women probably account for many of the stories that "well my great grandmother lived to 102 without any HRT"
Now, women are surviving to or beyond their 50's in large numbers, including those with crappy genes, multiple medical problems and those who have lived a traumatic and abusive life, so when you average it out for all-comers, the age of menopause has fallen.
It is not as direct as comparing an individual mother to her daughter however women also now live much more stressful lives, have fewer children without prolonged breastfeeding and our environment is getting more polluted and unsafe, all of which may negatively influence ovarian reserve.
Yet some women will still be considerably later who would not have been outliers 150 years ago but are today, not through any pathology but because the average has shifted.
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I had no periods for eight months, am 56 no hrt, then two in July and a month later now one just started Wednesday 20th August. Went to doc last week on Monday he was concerned had U/S on Friday 15th August, same week. Lining 9mm, and a simple cyst my right ovary. Now being referred for Gynae visit prob under two week rule, although not had appt through yet. I still felt ‘booby soreness’ so hoping I’ m just still in Peru, as never ever been 12 months without a period, only 8 max. Us later ladies sure have to do some stuff eh! I’m hoping this weeks period has thinned lining but who knows.
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Ha ha Peru! Marmalade sandwich anyone. PERI silly predictive text phone.
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I had no periods for eight months, am 56 no hrt, then two in July and a month later now one just started Wednesday 20th August. Went to doc last week on Monday he was concerned had U/S on Friday 15th August, same week. Lining 9mm, and a simple cyst my right ovary. Now being referred for Gynae visit prob under two week rule, although not had appt through yet. I still felt ‘booby soreness’ so hoping I’ m just still in Peru, as never ever been 12 months without a period, only 8 max. Us later ladies sure have to do some stuff eh! I’m hoping this weeks period has thinned lining but who knows.
LOL, that did make me chuckle, in PERU (I wish I was in bloomin' Peru right now I can tell you, or anywhere come to think of it ;D ;D)
Are they going to scan you again at the gynae appt then Fuzzwhizzer?
I'm really pleased for you that they are checking you out, as that is what you wanted, going to the doctor about your period coming after an 8 month gap, but I don't understand it myself? You are (to me anyway but I'm NOT a doctor of course) still peri as you'd not gone a year without a period?
You have to be a year without a period to be menopausal. I can't see why your Dr was concerned? Some ladies start again at 10/11 months. Maybe just because you are a bit over the magic textbook date for menopause? Arghhhhh.
Your lining would be at its thickest before your period and like you say if you've just had a period it will be at its thinnest.
I'm happy for you that you're being checked out and am thinking you will be very very likely be absolutely fine.
For me, having scans is an absolute ordeal, or any medical intervention in fact, sends me to a very dark place, always has done.... I wish I was different, more rational. But it's the way I'm wired up.
My husband is the voice of reason and he normally rationalises things for me but we had a row last night because he kept saying 'you're fine, no red flags, regular defined bleeds, nothings changed in that respect since your womb was tickety-boo 2 years back and you still get PMT etc before hand etc etc...'
He was just trying to put my mind at rest a little but I yelled at him to say if I was FINE I wouldn't be being sent for a scan and you can't see what's going on inside can you!!!?!!!
I hate this. I would have my womb dragged out in a heartbeat at this stage... ???
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Oh Gosh I know what you mean it can send already aggravated tension into overdrive, I’ve been yakking my husbands ear off for months and he’s always like yours, so down to earth and rational. Sometimes he tries humour though. Occasionally it works and sometimes it can make me worse. I mentioned hysterectomy possibility in some cases the other day and he said eughhhhhhhhh!!!! I snapped ‘that’s making me feel worse!’ Ha ha yes I’m glad I’m getting looked at but it still always makes you feel queasy every time. I hope you get sorted very very soon in a way that is ok for you xx
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A week on and I feel no better mentally about this matter - I am in a real state still. Reading reading reading non-stop - one minute feel reassured that nothing can be THAT bad given just over 2 years ago my scan was absolutely 1.00% fine - to reading something which sends me back into a black spiral.
My husband wants to write to GP and practice manager to complain that I wasn't even phoned or anything before I received, out of the blue and appt for scan for PMB. They SAY they tried to call and left a voicemail but call logs show nothing.
He wants to complain about how Ive been treated, as a neurotic woman not believed about having periods still.
Its making me doubt myself now! :-\ Ive never missed more than 2 periods in all my years though, none recently. My bleeding is predictable, regular, starts low builds and tails off and I get PMT before them. I don't get random pain, no spotting between, no blood after sex etc .COULD they not be periods? For god's sake I am going insane.
I already don't have a good relationship, well, I mean friendly, supportive one , with my GP, it is her who 2 years ago TOLd me I must have womb cancer because Im still bleeding at my age (was 59) TOLD me thast, didn't say 'let's rule out any nasties' etc, and I've not felt validated since despite scan back then showing all was well at the time.
Can I ask to be scanned again after I've had one of my PHANTOM DELUSIONAL periods :'( :'( :'( before I get sent for invasive tests, if my lining shows thicker than should be?
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Hi Clovie,
I'm no expert on all of this but I can tell you that my mother had periods until she was 59, she never had any HRT (because she didn't have any menopause symptoms) so although unusual it is possible to have normal regular periods at that age. I have had similar experiences where health professionals saw things completely differently to me and I felt not listened to and personally I deal with this by reminding myself that I know my body best, it's my mind and body, and I know the truth and what is best for me. I find that different health professionals can have completely different opinions about an issue, diagnose it differently and will have different treatment recommendations. I would try and find a GP who you like and trust. It makes a big difference. Whenever I join a new surgery I wait until I've seen a GP I like then stick with them if I can. I hope that this helps and keep us informed of how you are getting on xx
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I can't say what age, but I know my mother had periods way beyond the age you'd expect her to. I don't recall her doctors claiming it was abnormal though they were heavy by that stage. My experience of complaining to my GP practice is poor, they always cover their backs and never admit fault ( I think that's standard for legal reasons), they just acknowledge my feelings.. I'd try a different GP surgery because it's s terrible how you've been treated. With regards to your scan, I was refused my localised estrogen when waiting for mine. I was desperate and also extremely anxious so I know how you must feel. I would use that scan as an evidence gathering exercise, ask for a copy of the letter with conclusion if I were you then show anybody who disputes your periods in the future
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Hi Clovie,
I'm no expert on all of this but I can tell you that my mother had periods until she was 59, she never had any HRT (because she didn't have any menopause symptoms) so although unusual it is possible to have normal regular periods at that age. I have had similar experiences where health professionals saw things completely differently to me and I felt not listened to and personally I deal with this by reminding myself that I know my body best, it's my mind and body, and I know the truth and what is best for me. I find that different health professionals can have completely different opinions about an issue, diagnose it differently and will have different treatment recommendations. I would try and find a GP who you like and trust. It makes a big difference. Whenever I join a new surgery I wait until I've seen a GP I like then stick with them if I can. I hope that this helps and keep us informed of how you are getting on xx
Thank you, your post has helped me. :)
There are no GPs at the surgery who are, I would say, 'nice'. I have had some really lovely GPs in other surgeries before we moved here.
By nice I mean that are kind and listen and who I feel treat you as a person rather than a number, (I def feel like that at this surgery).
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I can't say what age, but I know my mother had periods way beyond the age you'd expect her to. I don't recall her doctors claiming it was abnormal though they were heavy by that stage. My experience of complaining to my GP practice is poor, they always cover their backs and never admit fault ( I think that's standard for legal reasons), they just acknowledge my feelings.. I'd try a different GP surgery because it's s terrible how you've been treated. With regards to your scan, I was refused my localised estrogen when waiting for mine. I was desperate and also extremely anxious so I know how you must feel. I would use that scan as an evidence gathering exercise, ask for a copy of the letter with conclusion if I were you then show anybody who disputes your periods in the future
Thank you Jules. your post really helped me.
I've been very PMT-y the last couple of days which has NOT helped, what a time for that to rear it's head eh. I hope to feel calmer soon now that my period has started.
I would change surgeries but am not sure how to/if I can. I feel like the relationship has broken down and I'll forever be seen as an unhinged woman or a moaner. I'm not. Believe me I stay away from Drs whenever at all possible, I only went in for my appt as it was a HRT review and I HAD to go to get my HRT or it would have been stopped.
Thanks again, really appreciate your reply. :)
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It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.
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It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.
Thanks again, :) Yes, I'm always polite, but I do get upset, due to my long standing health anxiety, which is why I tend to write things out to hand to Drs and have my husband with me as I know that I often can get quite upset.
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It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.
Thanks again, :) Yes, I'm always polite, but I do get upset, due to my long standing health anxiety, which is why I tend to write things out to hand to Drs and have my husband with me as I know that I often can get quite upset.
I'm not surprised you get upset though. I was the same last year over an issue, and my GP told me impatiently I had health anxiety and referred me to the psychology practitioner, who after assessment told me I didn't, that all my anxieties were for good reason and about real things that had happened. If we were treated with some empathy we'd maybe not be so anxious, and things happen in life that are difficult to handle.
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It's your body. Just state your needs firmly. As long as you're reasonable and polite, there should be no judgement of you.
Thanks again, :) Yes, I'm always polite, but I do get upset, due to my long standing health anxiety, which is why I tend to write things out to hand to Drs and have my husband with me as I know that I often can get quite upset.
I'm not surprised you get upset though. I was the same last year over an issue, and my GP told me impatiently I had health anxiety and referred me to the psychology practitioner, who after assessment told me I didn't, that all my anxieties were for good reason and about real things that had happened. If we were treated with some empathy we'd maybe not be so anxious, and things happen in life that are difficult to handle.
Oh I quite agree!
(and I'm sorry you were treated like that :( by the people who are supposed to help us in times of need when we are anxious too)
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Hi Clovie,
I forgot to mention, being so anxious and upset is a natural reaction to what you have been through. You shouldn’t have been made to feel like this. I’ve felt like this too after medical appointments. As others have said it’s your body, you have the right to feel how you feel and express it. I think often medical people give reasons and explanations that are false and just based on resourcing issues or covering themselves, but they can’t say that so they will give a different reason but you know it doesn’t make sense. I’ve had some really good healthcare and some really dire. It often just depends on who you get. I really hope you can find a gp that you can trust.
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Hi Clovie,
I forgot to mention, being so anxious and upset is a natural reaction to what you have been through. You shouldn’t have been made to feel like this. I’ve felt like this too after medical appointments. As others have said it’s your body, you have the right to feel how you feel and express it. I think often medical people give reasons and explanations that are false and just based on resourcing issues or covering themselves, but they can’t say that so they will give a different reason but you know it doesn’t make sense. I’ve had some really good healthcare and some really dire. It often just depends on who you get. I really hope you can find a gp that you can trust.
Thank you so very much, again, Katherine, :thankyou:
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You’re welcome Clovie, I’m really glad you feel a bit better x :foryou:
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Hello
Still freaking out, been trying to keep a lid on it - I go from feeling relatively confident I'm Ok to thinking I must be gravely ill.
right now I am thinking there MUST , ACTUALLY, be something seriously wrong with me having what I think of are regular (albeit getting lighter over time) periods with all the PMS etc before them.
I can't possibly still be having periods at almost 62 can I?
My periods have never stopped though?
We sent in a letter to GP/practice manager on Tuesday, or Monday (husband took it up) and part of that was explaining I wasn't coping and asked for anti-depressants (never worked for me before) and something temporary to ease my very bad health anxiety. It was also a complaint on how I've been treated.
I have a scan scheduled soon but it will be right before I bleed so I told the GP I was not going to attend a scan unless it was just after a bleed because my lining would show up as thick before a period.
I feel so alone in this, the doctors have not even got back to me after my letter, I thought they might - considering the urgency of my letter. (I wrote in because I find it very difficult to communicate in person when I'm stressed, I go off tangent and I panic. I'm much more coherent in writing)
Anyway.... having a bad moment :-\ :'( :-\
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Hello Clovie.
I am sorry that you are having these worries.
From Emma's post on this thread it seems the offer of a scan is reasonable given your age but this doesn't mean that your doctors suspect anything sinister.
The NHS may consider every woman to be post menopausal by age 55 but that is probably just for guidance, in reality there will always be women who reach post meno much earlier or much later.
Perhaps agree to the scan, if the lining is thick because you are about to have a period then this should be obvious and it will confirm that you are not yet post menopausal.
I wish you well in whatever you decide to do.
Take care and sending hugs.
K.
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Thanks for the hugs Kathleen, badly needed x
The issue will be that it's on the referral that I'm being seen as a postmenopausal woman with unscheduled PMB even though I'm not menopausal yet, and because I'm on the continuous type of HRT (which hasn't been strong enough to stop my own cycle), I understand that my lining should be 4mm or less, basically at all times due to the level playing field of HRT hormones taken, because they don't acknowledge my cycle as periods.
If I am scanned before a period it will very likely be more than the 4mm they will want to see, as I am just about the shed it, and that will set off alarm bells with me needing to have other investigations because it will breech the 4mm level. I want to avoid that due the immense anxiety that will cause and the attempts at explaining my periods still happerning that they just are not listening to, sadly..
I hope I've explained that well.
I have said I only want to be scanned after my period because of this. :-\
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If this wasn't so serious I would laugh. Both my Grandmas were in their 80s when they died: Mum is alive at 98, her sister died in her 80s. Dad was 2 months short of 80 and his 2 brothers nearly 90 when they died.
My sister doesn't remember her menopause ......... and it wasn't discussed with Mum nor MinL. Though both had panty liners when we cleared out after they vacated their properties :-\
Clovei - if U were gravely ill U would have a lot more symptoms. Hormonal upheaval can make us feel dreadful >:( even when we know that it might be 'the change'. Don't bother with further scanning, the Dept may well refuse a referral if you've had 'nil of note' results in the last 2 years. Do take support with you as well as a note of how ill U feel and what U R no able to do . Ask for a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic, not a gynaecologist! If necessary, go privately to get the opportunity of discussing your worries without feeling rushed.
Why do U doubt yourself? This is your body and others are making you anxious about what is a natural progression as we age. I suggest that your husband makes an appt with the Practice Manager for a discussion with notes - the Manager should be impartial.
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Clovie, have you thought about arranging your own scan privately at a time that suits you ie straight after a bleed? Hopefully a private clinic will give you instant results too.
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Clovie, have you thought about arranging your own scan privately at a time that suits you ie straight after a bleed? Hopefully a private clinic will give you instant results too.
I have Mary, but the clinics all say not to book if under NHS for scans?
I might look into it more , it is a great idea
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Clovie, that sounds like a strange system because it should be completely independent of the NHS. Do you not have Bupa of Spire clinics in Scotland? There are other smaller independent clinics in England too and I'm positive they don't question your NHS status. Women usually just ring up and book a scan on a convenient date.
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Clovie, that sounds like a strange system because it should be completely independent of the NHS. Do you not have Bupa of Spire clinics in Scotland? There are other smaller independent clinics in England too and I'm positive they don't question your NHS status. Women usually just ring up and book a scan on a convenient date.
Weird yes. It was one of those Window To The Womb places where pregnant mums can get their extra scans for fun kind of places.
Yes we do have Spire nearby, have used them before - this is a great idea and will discuss with hubby and see how far/soon ahead I can get a scan done, because of the 'I only want one at a specific time' thing, :)
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Hello again Clovie.
I think the private scan is a good idea, I had one about a year ago and no one asked about the NHS. In fact I was in the system for a an NHS scan but I thought it would be a long wait, turns out my appointment came through quite quickly so I told the NHS clinic and my Nurse Practitioner that I had already had it done and they were fine about it. I was able to email all the results to my GP and they were happy with that.
I totally understand your concerns about arranging the timing of your scan but if you still have all the signs of a menstruating woman then surely a thickened lining would be expected and not ring alarm bells.
I hope you get this sorted soon and find some peace of mind. There will always be women who fall outside the average and that shouldn't feel like a problem, medical or otherwise.
Wishing you well and sending more hugs.
K.
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Hello again Clovie.
I think the private scan is a good idea, I had one about a year ago and no one asked about the NHS. In fact I was in the system for a an NHS scan but I thought it would be a long wait, turns out my appointment came through quite quickly so I told the NHS clinic and my Nurse Practitioner that I had already had it done and they were fine about it. I was able to email all the results to my GP and they were happy with that.
I totally understand your concerns about arranging the timing of your scan but if you still have all the signs of a menstruating woman then surely a thickened lining would be expected and not ring alarm bells.
I hope you get this sorted soon and find some peace of mind. There will always be women who fall outside the average and that shouldn't feel like a problem, medical or otherwise.
Wishing you well and sending more hugs.
K.
Thank you Kathleen, you're so kind x
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If this wasn't so serious I would laugh. Both my Grandmas were in their 80s when they died: Mum is alive at 98, her sister died in her 80s. Dad was 2 months short of 80 and his 2 brothers nearly 90 when they died.
My sister doesn't remember her menopause ......... and it wasn't discussed with Mum nor MinL. Though both had panty liners when we cleared out after they vacated their properties :-\
Clovei - if U were gravely ill U would have a lot more symptoms. Hormonal upheaval can make us feel dreadful >:( even when we know that it might be 'the change'. Don't bother with further scanning, the Dept may well refuse a referral if you've had 'nil of note' results in the last 2 years. Do take support with you as well as a note of how ill U feel and what U R no able to do . Ask for a referral to a dedicated menopause clinic, not a gynaecologist! If necessary, go privately to get the opportunity of discussing your worries without feeling rushed.
Why do U doubt yourself? This is your body and others are making you anxious about what is a natural progression as we age. I suggest that your husband makes an appt with the Practice Manager for a discussion with notes - the Manager should be impartial.
Thanks CKLD . I too want to laugh! ;D In between bouts of worrying horribly, that is ;D Honestly, I flip from one chain of thoughts to another so quickly - its draining! :D
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Can I just ask?
Is this OK?
We handed complaint letter in on Tuesday, Practice Manager got back to us Friday saying to come in for a full review on a date 2 full weeks after we handed the letter in.
No mention of my request for medication.
No mention of the planned scan. (I'd asked if I could trial the 200mg for 6 months before a scan instead due to the fact that my periods are getting progressively lighter as it is).
Do you think that is a fair response?
To only see me 2 WEEKS after I wrote in, and ignoring of my quite urgent request for something to help me through? They know already that I have quite bad health anxiety as it is.
I'm not currently taking anxiety medication of any kind, no anti-depressants or anything as they've never worked for me hence asking of they could prescribe anything new etc.
I'm so wrapped up in this that I can't really gauge if I'm being treated fairly or not.
I'd just value some outside opinions.
Thank you for reading... :thankyou: and sorry for clogging up the forum of late with my worrying :-\ I started a new topic on this under experiences as wasn't sure where to put it :-\
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Can I just ask?
Is this OK?
We handed complaint letter in on Tuesday, Practice Manager got back to us Friday saying to come in for a full review on a date 2 full weeks after we handed the letter in.
No mention of my request for medication.
No mention of the planned scan. (I'd asked if I could trial the 200mg for 6 months before a scan instead due to the fact that my periods are getting progressively lighter as it is).
Do you think that is a fair response?
To only see me 2 WEEKS after I wrote in, and ignoring of my quite urgent request for something to help me through? They know already that I have quite bad health anxiety as it is.
I'm not currently taking anxiety medication of any kind, no anti-depressants or anything as they've never worked for me hence asking of they could prescribe anything new etc.
I'm so wrapped up in this that I can't really gauge if I'm being treated fairly or not.
I'd just value some outside opinions.
Thank you for reading... :thankyou: and sorry for clogging up the forum of late with my worrying :-\ I started a new topic on this under experiences as wasn't sure where to put it :-\
My very elderly mother put in a complaint to her GP 3 months ago and has yet to receive a response while I made a complaint in May to a hospital about a bad experience with a scan and I still have heard nothing (bearing in mind on the 2 week referral for unscheduled bleeding and still haven't had the proper scan). So in that context I would consider a 2 week wait lightning fast and efficient though I realise any time can feel terribly long when one's in an anxious state
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Can I just ask?
Is this OK?
We handed complaint letter in on Tuesday, Practice Manager got back to us Friday saying to come in for a full review on a date 2 full weeks after we handed the letter in.
No mention of my request for medication.
No mention of the planned scan. (I'd asked if I could trial the 200mg for 6 months before a scan instead due to the fact that my periods are getting progressively lighter as it is).
Do you think that is a fair response?
To only see me 2 WEEKS after I wrote in, and ignoring of my quite urgent request for something to help me through? They know already that I have quite bad health anxiety as it is.
I'm not currently taking anxiety medication of any kind, no anti-depressants or anything as they've never worked for me hence asking of they could prescribe anything new etc.
I'm so wrapped up in this that I can't really gauge if I'm being treated fairly or not.
I'd just value some outside opinions.
Thank you for reading... :thankyou: and sorry for clogging up the forum of late with my worrying :-\ I started a new topic on this under experiences as wasn't sure where to put it :-\
My very elderly mother put in a complaint to her GP 3 months ago and has yet to receive a response while I made a complaint in May to a hospital about a bad experience with a scan and I still have heard nothing (bearing in mind on the 2 week referral for unscheduled bleeding and still haven't had the proper scan). So in that context I would consider a 2 week wait lightning fast and efficient though I realise any time can feel terribly long when one's in an anxious state
Oh, that's not good :(
None of us LIKE complaining to the NHS, I mean, I personally admire the NHS in general - plus we have a son who runs a team of nurses in a ward, and another son who qualifies as an actual Doctor next year as he's in final year of medical school.
I just think, rightly or wrongly, that I haven't been treated well, and you too must have had reasons for complaint :(
I wish both you and your Mum well Laszla xx