Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Michelle46 on June 29, 2025, 07:43:10 PM
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Hi
I'm writing this in tears. I've been suffering so badly with anxiety,fear and panic attacks for months. I'm not even going for my walks now. I'm 1.5 years post menopause on hrt but it's not absorbing so speaking with a specialist Wednesday. My oestradiol is 28 with 3 pumps of gel. I'm tapering off mirtazapine as it's made everything worse. It's caused me depression on top of the severe anxiety. I'm crying everyday and feel broken. I'm so lucky I have a good husband. Any recommendations for antidepressants for the anxiety and panic please?
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Hi...I'm so sorry to hear your suffering this way.
There are alot of women on here who are suffering or who have suffered with what you are going through so you should have alot of advise and support...perimenopause hit me quite hard and I fell in to the depths of despair...
Hrt has helped with some symptoms but I had to go down the antidepressants route..I ended up trying 3 different types before settling on citalopram....it is definitely trial amd error to find the right one but just know that things will get better..they did for me and it will for you
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I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time.
It's good that you have a specialist consultation in a couple of days. Clearly your current treatment is not working.
My advice would be not to rush to take any more antidepressants, particularly given mirtazapine hasn't been helpful. They are seldom effective for psychological changes associated with menopause, and not first line for this indication.
If you can get it, a short supply of as required diazepam is both safer and more effective for acute anxiety, and this avoids becoming parked on daily psychoactive medication that can be difficult to come off.
I would taper down the mirtazapine very slowly, particularly if you have been on it a while.
Having a few sessions with a psychologist if you can afford it or access it through your employer or the NHS can also be a much better option than antidepressants as this can help you develop longer term skills to deal with anxiety and panic.
Also don't forget about testosterone when you have your specialist appointment. This can be a major player in psychological wellbeing, alongside estrogen.
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Thankyou. I have got diazepam which is helpful. I'm tapering very slowly. Been on mirtazapine for 6 months. Awful drug for me.
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Hi Michelle, I am so sorry you are going through this. My perimenopause started like this. I ended up quiting my job and moving in with my parents of all things. I wouldn't have been so bad if doctors actually acknowledged that hormones could be at play but they said it was all in my head, I was imagining it etc etc. Anyway, I did take a few weeks out and then I decided I needed to be proactive and get myself back somehow. I read many books- Claire Weekes book was a good one, and then a kind friend sent me the Lindan Method and I read the Dare method too. It was so so so hard dat the time because everybody around me was saying it was all in my head but I knew my hormones were at play. I later got diagnosed with Premature Ovarian insufficiency but that was 5 years after. I didn't take medication - well I tried for a few days and then said I'd just have to try myself. I'm by no means 100% but after a few weeks I forced myself out the door. I moved back into my own place and I forced myself to go out walking. I developed agroaphobia I think too during that time. I went from walking every day to being scared to leave the house. I'm still struggling with my hormones and other menopause issues but I'm much better than what I was back then. Be gentle with yourself. You are lucky you have a loving and understanding husband.
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Hi Michelle, I am so sorry you are going through this. My perimenopause started like this. I ended up quiting my job and moving in with my parents of all things. I wouldn't have been so bad if doctors actually acknowledged that hormones could be at play but they said it was all in my head, I was imagining it etc etc. Anyway, I did take a few weeks out and then I decided I needed to be proactive and get myself back somehow. I read many books- Claire Weekes book was a good one, and then a kind friend sent me the Lindan Method and I read the Dare method too. It was so so so hard dat the time because everybody around me was saying it was all in my head but I knew my hormones were at play. I later got diagnosed with Premature Ovarian insufficiency but that was 5 years after. I didn't take medication - well I tried for a few days and then said I'd just have to try myself. I'm by no means 100% but after a few weeks I forced myself out the door. I moved back into my own place and I forced myself to go out walking. I developed agroaphobia I think too during that time. I went from walking every day to being scared to leave the house. I'm still struggling with my hormones and other menopause issues but I'm much better than what I was back then. Be gentle with yourself. You are lucky you have a loving and understanding husband.
Hi Michelle, I am so sorry you are going through this. My perimenopause started like this. I ended up quiting my job and moving in with my parents of all things. I wouldn't have been so bad if doctors actually acknowledged that hormones could be at play but they said it was all in my head, I was imagining it etc etc. Anyway, I did take a few weeks out and then I decided I needed to be proactive and get myself back somehow. I read many books- Claire Weekes book was a good one, and then a kind friend sent me the Lindan Method and I read the Dare method too. It was so so so hard dat the time because everybody around me was saying it was all in my head but I knew my hormones were at play. I later got diagnosed with Premature Ovarian insufficiency but that was 5 years after. I didn't take medication - well I tried for a few days and then said I'd just have to try myself. I'm by no means 100% but after a few weeks I forced myself out the door. I moved back into my own place and I forced myself to go out walking. I developed agroaphobia I think too during that time. I went from walking every day to being scared to leave the house. I'm still struggling with my hormones and other menopause issues but I'm much better than what I was back then. Be gentle with yourself. You are lucky you have a loving and understanding husband.
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Thankyou for your reply x
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I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time.
It's good that you have a specialist consultation in a couple of days. Clearly your current treatment is not working.
My advice would be not to rush to take any more antidepressants, particularly given mirtazapine hasn't been helpful. They are seldom effective for psychological changes associated with menopause, and not first line for this indication.
If you can get it, a short supply of as required diazepam is both safer and more effective for acute anxiety, and this avoids becoming parked on daily psychoactive medication that can be difficult to come off.
I would taper down the mirtazapine very slowly, particularly if you have been on it a while.
Having a few sessions with a psychologist if you can afford it or access it through your employer or the NHS can also be a much better option than antidepressants as this can help you develop longer term skills to deal with anxiety and panic.
Also don't forget about testosterone when you have your specialist appointment. This can be a major player in psychological wellbeing, alongside estrogen.
Thankyou so much for your advice
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Hello Michelle
I just wanted to say you are not alone and that other ladies have had similar experiences and recovered.
Hopefully your specialist will be able to help you and please let us know how you get on.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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Nowt wrong with using valium under GP supervision. In the 1990s it saved my Life, used for 3 months at various doses, eventually taking as necessary - usually the evening B4 an event that I was unable to get out of.
..... and breath. U need something that targets the anxiety regardless of whether it's hormonally linked or not. Wean off the AD that U have been prescribed and do tell your GP/Nurse Practitioner how ill U currently feel.
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Nowt wrong with using valium under GP supervision. In the 1990s it saved my Life, used for 3 months at various doses, eventually taking as necessary - usually the evening B4 an event that I was unable to get out of.
..... and breath. U need something that targets the anxiety regardless of whether it's hormonally linked or not. Wean off the AD that U have been prescribed and do tell your GP/Nurse Practitioner how ill U currently feel.
Thankyou. My gp knows how bad i feel. I'm having to take a diazepam to get through the day. I've not gone anywhere for about 5 months other than a local walk. I'm speaking with a private psychiatrist/hormone specialist Wednesday
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Make a list to take to the discussion.
When do U feel worse, 4 me it was anytime after 3.00 a.m. when cortisol would surge = extremely terrified. Propranolol helped a lot! Another option mayB to suggest during the discussion?
Let us know how you get on. Try not to worry about not going far: in the 1990s I was housebound for 3 months due to panic attacks but now, with caution, I go out and about ;-)
:bighug: :foryou:
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CLKD I haven't been to a supermarket for 4 months doing a proper shop. I literally stay in my safe place. I was having panic driving and getting stuck in traffic(bad experience 8 month ago stuck in bumper to bumper traffic for 7 hours)of course the mind brings on the physical sensations but going anywhere I'd be dizzy,jelly legs etc. I've been worrying myself being on mirtazapine because it's not been working and the effects are scary coming off. I've got into a spiral. Also end of January i had a severe vertigo attack. Plus a week later some lady crashed into my car. It's all been building up in me :'(
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Make a list to take to the discussion.
When do U feel worse, 4 me it was anytime after 3.00 a.m. when cortisol would surge = extremely terrified. Propranolol helped a lot! Another option mayB to suggest during the discussion?
Let us know how you get on. Try not to worry about not going far: in the 1990s I was housebound for 3 months due to panic attacks but now, with caution, I go out and about ;-)
:bighug: :foryou:
I take 10mg propranolol first thing. I also have severe nausea in the morning. It's awful x
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Stress upon stress won't help.
When I had to wean off an AD once I realised that bounce back symptoms didn't last more than 36 hours, I was able to tolerate it ......... it took 9 weeks. Don't panic! My brain kept saying 'what if U can't tolerate the continuing anxiety' and feelings were physical.
R U able to rest especially now it's hot. Oh I had dry heaving when anxiety was really bad :-\. MyB graze as much as possible and have a supper so that the body doesn't use up the energy too quickly that is required to wake and get going. Dry ginger biscuits: dried fruits and nuts; bananas ........ eat B4 the body is hungry.
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I felt like this with low oestrogen.
I'm one of those women who improves gradually at each dose increase.
I first felt bad depression in perimenopause, I didn't know I was in peri, went on AD's no good.
I had my HRT reduced three times, as my Drs and me believed reducing oestrogen would stop the bleeding I was getting.
I didn't know at the time low oestrogen can cause bleeds.
I got worse, hit full blown menopause, did not know that menopause was why I felt so depressed and regressed. I was on HRT, right?
I was on the wrong dose totally, and I am a bad absorber, which is why it's gradual improvements at each step of treatment for me, till I reach the right dose.
Best of luck with your specialist on Wednesday.
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Do U feel better overall Dandelion?
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I can fully identify with this post, as this was also me 12 months ago. I am on HRT it does help with some symptoms, but not anxiety, and I also fell into bad depression. I was afraid driving the car, and also to leave the house, so I completely identify with you. I never dreamt this could happen to me, and I have no history before menopause of anxiety or depression.
This time last year I went on Trintellix 15mg, an antidepressant, plus 25mg Seroquel, a mood stabiliser. I have totally turned the corner, and I have my life back. I do still get anxious in unfamiliar situations, I meditate and do deep breathing, but it is totally manageable.
I don't post often, but this post struck such a chord with me, as this was exactly the situation I was in last year.
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Are you able to say how you obtained the Seroquel as i feel it may help the original poster.
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I am under the care of a menopause specialist consultant who prescribed trintellix and seroquel. I take the seroquel at night, it is a very low dose, and it helps enormously with sleep, and anxiety the next day.
I have suffered so so much with perimenopause, and if I could be of help to 1 other woman who may be struggling similarly I would be delighted. For 3 years I kept declining as hormone levels fell, still thinking I could sort it, and yes, I got so bad I could barely leave the house.
My only regret now is that I didn't go on the Trintellix and Seroquel when things were getting bad. Total lifesaver! I have my life back, no side effects at all, except tiredness in the morning a bit, but I was always like that before.
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Thank you as I'm pretty sure that a GP would not prescribe Seroquel and that it has to come from a consultant.
Sounds like you have found a good menopause specialist consultant :)