Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Turtle45 on July 21, 2024, 07:45:19 AM
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I don’t know what to do anymore. My life has completely fallen apart. Up until 18 months ago I was a person with a job and a life. Now I am a mental health patient who sits around all day and can barely leave the house.
I have had PMDD my whole life but only diagnosed when I was 37. At 42 I started to have the symptoms continuously then at 43 woke up with severe anxiety. My life then completely fell apart. I was a freelancer and could not work, I lived on my own having never been lucky enough to be blessed with children and I couldn’t cope by myself. I moved back in with aging parents, lost my home, and had serious issues with memory, decision making and concentration. I believe I’m perimenopausal due to other bodily changes and this was the ta cause of my anxiety but it then spirals as everything fell to pieces.
I’ve been tried on a variety of hrt and anti-depressants. Am now on pregabalin and either feel anxious or completely numb.
I’m with community mental health and I think even they are at a loss as to what to do.
I just don’t know how to keep going.
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Hi Starfish43
I'm so very sorry for everything you're going through. I suffer with anxiety, as do a lot of women on this site.
I think first of all perimenopause in itself is a time of massive hormonal upheaval so getting on the right hrt would be a massive help. You said you've been on a variety of hrt, are you on hrt now?
Lots of ladies on here are on hrt as well as antidepressants and with severe anxiety getting the right anti depressant is a god send.
I understand you feeling numb and over-whelmed, with everything you're going through that's a natural reaction.
I don't have any answers, but just wanted to say your not alone, keep reaching out on here as lots of us suffer with similar issues regarding anxiety.
Take care xxx
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U R not alone.
Keep on with the Pregabalin even though you feel numb etc.. Depression can cause the body to shut down, it affects everywhere as a defence mechanism. It's not simply in the brain. Anxiety can be eased by appropriate medication, what has your GP prescribed thus far?
How long did U trial each one ? Due to intense nausea initially it was difficult to find an anti-depressant that helped, once I got 1 that worked I've been more or less fine since 1988. Anxiety floors me. Initially the GP gave valium which I used as necessary, usually the night B4 an event that I was able to get out of. For several years I had Propranolol, a betablocka to ease early morning anxiety surges. Now I have a go to emergency anti-anxiety tablet.
I will continue with ADs for ever. Often they don't work suddenly because the brain doesn't get where it is and needs to accept the 'uptake' of the medication to begin healing.
Cortisol hormone can cause sudden anxiety surges. I felt that I would never leave the house but eventually with back up from my husband, GP and psychiatrist, I began to recover.
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I'm sorry you're in such a dark place.
Reproductive depression usually responds better to hormonal interventions than psychiatric medication.
If you have the money to see a specialist you may find it a really valuable investment in yourself rather than taking tranquillisers.
I was a big fan of the late Professor John Studd and would recommend having a look at some of his articles.
Prof Studd passed away several years ago however the clinic he started is still running, it is called the London PMS and Menopause Clinic.
It is run by doctors with the same skill set who have been able to turn around the lives of some really severe patients that the NHS had washed their hands of.
This isn't a personal recommendation for that specific clinic, obviously do your own research but just know that there is hope for you and that there are people out there who treat your condition.
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Hi!
I am sorry for your suffering, but you are not alone.
I feel exactly the same myself, no hormone therapy has helped me, I decided on an anti-depressant and after 6 weeks of taking it, I'm not sure if I'm on the right track.
I am in perimenopause and my biggest problem is anxiety, in addition to constant tinnitus, insomnia, night sweats and depression.
All you have to do is keep exploring and don't give up.
Big hug and know you are not alone
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Dedicated medication for anti-anxiety symptoms :-\ ? Some ADs do help with that as well as flushes, however ........
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Hello Starfish43 and welcome to the forum.
I agree with the other ladies that you are not alone, the change in our hormones can have dramatic consequences as you have discovered.
If you think that the community mental health team have run out of ideas perhaps there are other services that they can refer you to. The other suggestion is to seek help privately from a menopause clinic such as Newson Health. They are expensive but they will be very familiar with ladies in your situation.
I understand from my trusty menopause book that even the awful mental and emotional symptoms resolve as the body adapts to lower hormone levels so there is hope.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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Hi Starfish 43,
All the ladies are right in saying that you are not alone, perimenopause is very turbulent. I started getting severe anxiety last may, I was off work for many months and also felt like my life had fallen apart. However i am now on hrt and also pregabalin and citalopram and it has taken until now to get back to about 80% well which was unthinkable last year. The anxiety is gut renching and awful, I understand what you are feeling and what you are going through...as to many women on here.
Things will get better and with the right combination ( this took a while for me)you will get back to some sort of normality and things will ease...
Sending you hugs also x
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Maria - thank you for your message. How are you finding pregabalin? I’ve been on it about 10 days and feel like really disconnected.
I’ve been on hrt and duloxetine for a while which made no difference at all and drs have not totally disregarded perimenopause 🤦🏻♀️.
Really hoping the new medication helps!
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And thank you everyone for your kind messages.
I’ve been to newsom health, seen psychologists and psychiatrists but I think it’s just the magnitude of life destruction that has sent me over the edge. I thought I knew what depression and anxiety was until this happened.
I really appreciate everyone’s support. I’m just very frightened at the moment.
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Hello again Starfish.
I am so sorry that you are suffering.
I remember reading about Meg Matthews, the rock chick ex girlfriend of Noel Gallagher. She said that she was attending her usual AA meeting and reporting how awful she felt, apparently she said that if it continues she may as well go back to drink and drugs. She had no idea what was happening to her but at the end of the meeting another woman approached her and told her that she was likely peri menopausal. The woman referred her to some meno services and that was the beginning of her recovery. Meg Matthews also reported that her anxiety arrived out of the blue and she struggled to leave the house.
My point is that other women have found themselves in a terrible situation and they have found their way back to normality.
I sincerely hope that you are one of them and that you feel much better soon. It is hard to understand why Mother Nature inflicts such distress onto some of us at this time in our lives and you have my sympathy.
Wishing you well and sending hugs.
K.
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What advice were you given from Newsom Health?
R U still under the care of a psychiatrist? When is your next appt.?
Also: numbness may well improve once the brain takes up the medication ......... that's better surely than constant anxiety? There have been days when I've been unable to get out of bed; leave the house; consider that I would ever recover but I did.. A loving husband, a good GP and support from the psychiatrist.
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I’m still under the psychiatrist. They are at an absolute loss as to what to do next.
Sadly I do not have a loving husband nor a good gp! My gp told me I would probably never recover from this 🤦🏻♀️
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Have you had any bloods done on HRT and what were the results? You might need to achieve higher estradiol levels than others... some women really do need around 1000pmol, but many need between 450-650pmol. Sadly we are told everything should be lovely for us if we are 250pmol, if we are on the max licensed dose.
Newson now have an in-house psychiatrist specialising in menopause so it might be worth seeing her. If you do need psych meds she will know which are the best if caused by meno issues....
I'm so sorry...
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That's worth knowing joziel :thankyou: and no psychiatrist should make those suggestions. All medics have access to colleagues usually via Conferences World Wide and should be able to discuss individual cases for advice.
In fact no Doctor/Nurse should even suggest that 'nothing more can be done'. 'from this' being what and how old was the GP?
Try not to pre-empt the medication. Try not to plan too far ahead. Let it be enough that you are out of bed and have taken your medication as prescribed. Eat little and often if you are able to, because lack of energy can spike anxiety surges: I was advised by The National Association for Pre-menstrual Syndrome [NAPS] to eat every 3 hours, 24/7. After 3/4 months it began to help and I've stuck to that since 1990s.
If U can't sleep at night then doze in the day time, I find I don't have as many dreams in the afternoon.
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Do have a lookC at The National Association for Pre-menstrual Syndrome [NAPS] Dr Dalton did a lot of Research in the 1970s/80s about how hormone upheaval might affect us.
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Hello again Starfish.
I have been on this forum long enough to remember other ladies who have been as desperate as you. They went on to document their progress with the help of medics and other professionals.
I am not sure how to find the relevant posts but perhaps if you use the search facility you may come across them. I recall some who needed the help of various mental health services, including crisis teams. I remember how these ladies improved with the right treatment.
I hope that you can get the help you need just as previous MM posters have done.
Keep messaging here if it helps you and the lovely ladies on this forum will support you.
Take care.
K.
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Hi again Starfish,
I have been on pregabalin for 8 months and have stayed at the minimal dose, it does give you side effects for the first few weeks and then it starts to ease,
Along with the citalopram and hrt.. I also have had to incorporate self help as in meditation and excersise..
It has been a very hard journey and I have almost given up many times...but have given myself a good talking to and just got up and moved on with life even feeling really bad..I still have blips quite often but try and use the acceptance technique also.
I don't agree with your gp that there is nothing there can be done...
Did you say what hrt you have been on if any ? :)
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You will get better , you need to tell yourself that and your gp shouldn’t say things like that .
There are loads of similar stories, where women have overcome this with the right treatment, I have been dropped into a full menopause after cancer treatment the last 3 months have been awful and I too am not able to get to work yet .
I am feeling a little more stable this last few days , maybe everything is coming together finally, I recommend eft tapping , it has helped me in terrible moments, brad on you tube has one for everything even for the feeling that you won’t get better , i have done that one many times x
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@alltheleaves tell me more about your eft tapping please? Do you do it for a set amount of time? I’ve done it a bit and it helps a little.
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@alltheleaves tell me more about your eft tapping please? Do you do it for a set amount of time? I’ve done it a bit and it helps a little.
I do it on a morning when i get up if i need it or not , i do brads depression one and then i do his happy one , there are studies to say it works, they had two groups and the tapping group measured less depression and anxiety after 6 weeks of regularly tapping.
I also do it at anytime I feel awful , so it probably takes about 15 mins in a morning, but i sometimes do my own relating to what feeling i have , i also have been doing Wim hof beginners breathing on you tube that reduces stress levels, another tip a friend of mine has said is get outside as much as possible, the red light from the first sun helps regulate your hormones x
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when I had severe anxiety my psychologist recommended deep breathing, she gave me tapes - remember those :-\ - but it was finding time to practice, the idea being to use the techniques immediately anxiety reared it's ugly head. Half a day at a time and don't plan too much .
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Hi Starfish. You mentioned being at home all the time. Is there any sort of social prescribing in your area? I would expect your mental health team to have mentioned it if so but I used to work for a local authority who ran 6 week courses for people with anxiety and depression. I led the art classes. When I was first diagnosed with ME I was in a dark place, I started painting and just for that time, it gave my mind some respite. I had a couple of people in my classes who had been housebound, one who'd not been out for 3 years, someone brought her, she didn't speak the whole way through but must have found it helpful as she did the whole course and it got her out. If I was able I'd come and paint with you. Please believe you can get better.
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Music too can heal ........ dance like no one is watching ;-).
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Music too can heal ........ dance like no one is watching ;-).
I think for someone struggling to go out, a dance group could be hard, people without anxiety or depression arent always confident to do that, whereas an art, gardening , photography or cooking session give experience of being with others but you can also lose yourself or go unnoticed as it were.
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I wasn't suggesting going out to dance but mayB close the curtains ........ ;)
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I wasn't suggesting going out to dance but mayB close the curtains ........ ;)
Oh right.
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Music too can heal ........ dance like no one is watching ;-).
Good advice. The number of times I've seen people say how much better they feel if they put on a favourite song and dance along :)
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Hi starfish
I'm so sorry you're going through this....anxiety was my worst peri symptom. And recently came back.
I'm on yasmin combined pill which really did help control the fluctuations....maybe an area to explore? See if it helps?'x
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:hug: