Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: DDug on March 14, 2024, 07:33:02 AM
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Hello
I am 49 and in desperate need of advice. I have been struggling with low moods and suicidal thoughts and it is getting much worse.
I was widowed 13 years ago, my son is an adult and has left home. I fine myself alone almost all of the time. I only moved to this country 13 years ago so don't have many people in my life and add to that I don't like to intrude on anyone else's.
My question as I am waiting to go on hrt is how anyone else has coped with this. It is so hard the lonliness and low moods are breaking me.
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You R no longer alone :foryou:
:welcomemm: peri-menopause- those years leading up to the final bleed = menopause: can be difficult. It's The Change: does what it says on the tin. With weird and not so wonderful happenings. My periods waxed and waned for several years B4 stopping. What R yours up to? How is your diet overall? How often are you in contact with your son?
Browse round. Some find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary of use. Let us know which symptoms you would like advice on. Suicidal thought patterns are difficult, the Charity MIND can be helpful, I contacted them a few years ago via e-mail and the support was very good.
R U registered with a GP? Let us know how you get on.
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Welcome to the forum . So sorry you are so down, but hopefully you will feel a difference on hrt.
You're not alone on here,so please join in on all the discussions and make some new friends,albeit virtual ones,I don't know how I'd have managed without this forum over the years,hopefully we can help you too xx
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Thank you so much for all the kinds words.
Yes my son and i are close but only have short visits every 2 weeks. It is so hard as i miss him so much.
Periods were every 2 weeks for a while and now every 3 months.
My diet isn't great I am vegetarian but not a healthy vegetarian and I know I need to change it, just hard to do when so low.
I am on a waiting list for the coil but desperate to start hrt as honestly this is so hard.
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It's ok,most of us have been where you are,menopause wise,it IS a struggle and I too was very low for quite some time and add anxiety to that and it was terrible BUT we women are tough when we need to be and you'll get there too,please open new threads with different questions,there will always be someone to help x
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So sort out your diet? MayB write down everything that passes your lips for 3-5 days and see what you are able to alter. I've given up processed foods as much as possible am not good on the extra fruits but more veg works OK.
Sometimes vegetarians need more fish and occasionally meat to perk up the diet .
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Thanks will definitely look at supplements for the diet
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Why supplements? :-\. Get the diet sorted first then see whether you need a top up. VitD may be the important capsule to add anyway. It may take 2-3 months B4 your body adjusts to what you decide to cut out etc..
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I understand how hard it is to do anything while you feel so low but perhaps you would benefit from lifestyle changes too? Yes, the hrt needs sorting but there's nothing to stop you improving your diet now (you can't feel well if your body isn't getting the vitamins and minerals it needs). Staying home alone all day is pretty much guaranteed to make you feel miserable too. Is there anything you could do to get out of the house and speaking to people? Groups, volunteer work, part time job? If you haven't discussed this with your gp you should do so. They may have suggestions for where you can get help and they may think anti depressants are appropriate. Do you still have family in your home country? Would a few weeks there help you feel a bit better?
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I would definitely say vit d,it's essential for so many things. I'm vegetarian too,have been for over 30 years, how about you? For me it's second nature to know how to shop for all the correct food stuffs to maintain a healthy diet but as Sheila says,when low mood hits,it's very difficult,do get that sorted first and let us know how you get on x
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I hear what you are saying and truly appreciate it. I am making an effort to eat more greens but as a vegetarian I can't get some supplements from my diet alone. I have b12 injections every 3 months but will definitely look at it d and iron.
My issue right now is I am also hardly eating and am so low in terms of being suicidal. I have reached out to the doctors for help and it seems hrt is a few weeks away which makes me feel more helpless.
Honestly it is such a struggle am constantly in tears of having panic attacks.
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You shouldn't have to wait for hrt,especially as you're feeling as bad as this,don't be afraid to keep on at the dr surgery,let them hear you cry,as this sometimes triggers them into realising just how bad things really are xx
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Thanks I have been, they have referred me to the mental health team while I wait.
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Panic attacks made me housebound >:( :'(. If your mental health is dire, walk into the GP Surgery and ask for help, or ring the mental health team to press how you really feel. Any idea how long U will have to wait until you R seen. Lay it on thick! MIND Charity may well help too, I believe I said already.
When I was really depressed I was unable to get out of bed and certainly couldn't advocate for myself! Do U have a garden or Park close by where you could sit to get some sunshine and watch people?
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Hi Ddug and welcome to MM,
I can only agree with all of the other ladies advice especially reaching out on this forum, it has helped many of us immensely...me included.
Can I ask why are you having to wait to start HRT, can you not be seen sooner ?
Also, what about the Samaritans....could you give them a call maybe.
Please don't suffer alone...keep talking x
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U may find that the local hospital would like more volunteers. Our Council Offices have a dedicated volunteering bureau. It's finding the energy to access these types of outside activities! U R not alone.
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Is the delay for hrt because you're waiting to have a coil fitted? If this is the case there are other forms of hrt you can use in the meantime. Have a look at Treatments from the Menu for everything that's available, there's no reason why your gp can't prescribe something for you now.
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Thanks so much ladies. The dr has requested the mirena coil and I cant start estrogen until I have that. I will keep at them. I have help lines and will definitely reach out to MND.
There is a waiting list for the coil hence the wait.
In terms of where I am at honestly I can barely focus then anxiety attacks have kept me housebound and I am struggling to work and concentrate or form sentences. On Monday I have another appointment for a second blood pressure check and will keep pushing.
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Do ask for anti-anxiety medication, a short course of Valium will give your brain breathing space and will allow you eat/drink. 3-5 days of 5mg will really ease symptoms.
My GP prescribed 'propranolol' in 2002 which I took at night for many years ......... helped stave off the early morning anxiety surges which can be truly dreadful.
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:)Hi DDug, welcome to the forum. I am here if you need any help and support. I am the same age as you and trying to navigate my way through perimenopause too! I have horrendous moods at times along with many other symptoms. The longest I went without a period was 6 months -then for the past 3 months my periods have been every 42 days or so. It definitely helps to talk about difficult feelings with others going through the same thing. :)x
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Thanks I will ask on Monday
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Thank you so much for all your kindness and support
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Let us know how you get on?
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Have you thought of Talking Therapies? You can self refer. My friend said it was an incredible support for her and I am seriously considering it as I face my own meno/life struggles
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/
Virtual hug