Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: Losingtheplot on December 03, 2023, 10:19:04 AM
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Hi Ladies
I am so fed up and close to just resigning myself to the fact that my life is always going to be plagued by mental illness. To be honest it has worn me out.
It affects me so badly and has from age of 12/13. I know its linked to child hood trauma and every few months I dip so badly that the anxiety starts taking over. I start getting confused, simple tasks become difficult, I become a different person. I forget simple things too. The confusion is the worst though as things I can usually do I struggle to. This then leads to a massive dip in self esteem and confidence. I stammer when I speak and have to think carefully of the words before I speak and some.people find this funny which kills me even more inside 😪This isn't peri or meno related its been my life for 35 years.
I used to eventually come out the other end after dipping the lowest I possibly could. Eventually I was prescribed Ads took a while to find the ones that helped. I've had 2 suicide attempts and a further after having my baby as I had post natal depression.
At the beginning of this year I was hit with physical and mental peri symptoms which was scary. I am on HRT and has controlled flushes, panic attacks and morning anixety.
I am now back on Ads after a short break as side effects were too much. Am just feeling so low as I can't live out the rest of my life suffering like this.
The only thing that keeps me from ending it all is my son. My dad suffers from mental illness and I try my very best to hide how I am from my son, as I know only too well how bad it gets living with a parent with a mental health condition.
I have tried counselling in past but my brain wouldn't engage to allow me to communicate properly which is a huge issue for me.
I am having a counselling assessment this week and honestly feel I have reached the end of the road. This is no kind of life putting a false act on when I am dying inside.
I would never act on the thoughts in my head but maybe I have a different mental health condition or just can't cope with life. I don't like this time of year either as was plagued with misery as a child so I always suffer more in run up.to Christmas.
I just had to get all of this off my chest as its weighing me down and I feel exhausted.
My brother and sister also suffer from mental health issues so we have all been affected.
Thanks for reading
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This time of year can be horrid for many. Memories, experiences, trauma etc can exacerbate an already anxious and emotionally fragile mind.
What strategies help you cope best? Being alone ? Being with a trusted friend? Spending time with your son? Making a list of achievable things to do within the day?
Would a different type of counselling help? One which allows your brain to slowly allow itself to go back in time to help you work through your thoughts?
You are coping with life. You think you are not because you feel so low. Each day you get up and do what you need to do. Do you work?
What strategies do your siblings use to help them? Is family therapy an option?
I am sure the ladies will be along soon to support you. It must be a tough and bumpy road to walk.
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This time of year can be horrid for many. Memories, experiences, trauma etc can exacerbate an already anxious and emotionally fragile mind.
What strategies help you cope best? Being alone ? Being with a trusted friend? Spending time with your son? Making a list of achievable things to do within the day?
Would a different type of counselling help? One which allows your brain to slowly allow itself to go back in time to help you work through your thoughts?
You are coping with life. You think you are not because you feel so low. Each day you get up and do what you need to do. Do you work?
What strategies do your siblings use to help them? Is family therapy an option?
I am sure the ladies will be along soon to support you. It must be a tough and bumpy road to walk.
Hi Nas
Thank you for replying
I don't have any particular strategies that help just my mind going over and over things. Actually exercise does help me, although joint pain due to peri can make it difficult. I am hoping to try some different counselling as I really am at the end of the road with feeling like this.
I force myself to meet friends when I don't want to but put on a false act which is draining. My sister is very much like me just about copes day to day and my brother I don't speak to as he has very destructive behaviour and he doesn't cope at all. He takes Ads at times and uses alcohol at his lowest points. He has very eratic behaviours at times.
He still lives with my elderly mam and makes her life hell. That's a different story though and does cause me and my sister more stress.
I do work and all my working life its been so difficult to juggle a job with feeling like this. Thank you for your kind words. I get up every morning as I have to for my son and hubby when all I really want to do is stop all the thoughts in my mind causing me not to beable to function properly
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Okay, maybe a different counselling approach might be more beneficial going forward.
If you can, I would leave your brother out of the equation then; his behaviours won’t be helpful at all.
Exercise is good. What helps with the joint pain? Can you increase the HRTa a bit for that one?
Putting on a brave face is tough I agree. You don’t have to do it all the time though. Rather accept that some days are going to be better than others?
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I found MIND Charity really supportive via e-mail when my friend ended his Life.
Talking therapy helped enormously, being able to vent to a complete stranger. No one telling me 'that can't have happened to you because X, Y, Z'. Once a week with homework :o :-\. Mental Health services have never been well supported by the governments of the day being slightly above funding that goes into Elderly Care.
Clinical depression as opposed to organic depression: I have both : can be more difficult to deal with as acceptance can be hard work. Acceptance that a) we can't change the past; b) that it our reaction to those issues that continue to affect us on a daily basis; c) how we react to others caught up in the same family tangle.
I still keep to half a day at a time. Hate having to book anything ahead which is why this time of year is so hard. The expectations etc.. I have a drawer of fixed grins >:( ....... although sometimes it is better when I 'go along', putting on a brave face. It avoids being asked all the while or 'you don't have anything' etc..
Do U keep a journal, I found venting therapeutic. Out of my brain, onto the page and away.
Much of my childhood was a lie. Apparently. In recent years I've found out how my Mum's behaviour stilted my emotional growth!
Your brother and your Mum are a different issue and 1 that she needs to deal with. Unless U think that she is in continual danger, step back. Take care of you.
:foryou:
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Okay, maybe a different counselling approach might be more beneficial going forward.
If you can, I would leave your brother out of the equation then; his behaviours won’t be helpful at all.
Exercise is good. What helps with the joint pain? Can you increase the HRTa a bit for that one?
Putting on a brave face is tough I agree. You don’t have to do it all the time though. Rather accept that some days are going to be better than others?
I am having a review for my HRT to see if if can be tweaked to help with the aches and pains. I am taking low dose Ads again as I recognise when my mental.health is starting to decline. Only been a week so I know from past experience takes a few weeks to take effect.
My brain has formed a habit from previous trauma and I am open to try any type of counselling or therapy that will help me. Also Nas, your so so right that this time of year exacerbates mental illness. We are all expected to be happy and Jolly when that isn't reality is it?
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The Flight or Fight response stems back to when humans lived in caves. It's a gut reaction that has never left us. So our whole brain goes into over-drive when it senses a threat - however small or large.
As with my phobia, it doesn't take much to set off the chain reaction which is a learned pattern of behaviour from within several hours of being born. Betablockas helped for years.
MIND may suggest access to talking therapy, worth a try?
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The Flight or Fight response stems back to when humans lived in caves. It's a gut reaction that has never left us. So our whole brain goes into over-drive when it senses a threat - however small or large.
As with my phobia, it doesn't take much to set off the chain reaction which is a learned pattern of behaviour from within several hours of being born. Betablockas helped for years.
MIND may suggest access to talking therapy, worth a try?
Thanks I am being assessed for a talking therapy this week through a local service through NHS
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Just wanted to say Hello And sending some love your way.
I found out through talking therapy recently that it's okay to say to yourself that your not okay. Which sounds obvious but I never let myself say that before.
I too use that drawer full of fixed grins and sometimes it's bloody exhausting having to pretend you are not feeling so unbelievably low. This year my cyclical pms went through the roof and suicidal thoughts were hitting me which scared the help out of me.when so was like that I made sure I was never alone, but stayed limpit like with my husband,until the feelings passed. So irrational. Upped my hrt and a new AD. And I'm better, never cured, but pretty stable now.
So my reasons were cyclical, yours are obviously long term. Do you know the helpline numbers in case you get to a serious stage where you might act on your moods? You will probably not need them, but having them is in its own way a safety net.
Does your gp know how bad you feel right now? You need to concentrate on yourself as much as you can right now.
Are you honest with a new therapy in explaining you can mentally put a block on thoughts so precious therapies have not been successful. ( not a fault btw, more self preservation). The more they know in advance the more they can tailor help
Small successes in each day should be seen as major triumphs when we are like this. Know that people do understand, and I am sorry it's so hard for you right now.
X
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I'm so sorry you feel so bad. I don't have any useful advice but sending you support and cyber hugs. I hope you find a way to feel better.
:hug:
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Just wanted to say Hello And sending some love your way.
I found out through talking therapy recently that it's okay to say to yourself that your not okay. Which sounds obvious but I never let myself say that before.
I too use that drawer full of fixed grins and sometimes it's bloody exhausting having to pretend you are not feeling so unbelievably low. This year my cyclical pms went through the roof and suicidal thoughts were hitting me which scared the help out of me.when so was like that I made sure I was never alone, but stayed limpit like with my husband,until the feelings passed. So irrational. Upped my hrt and a new AD. And I'm better, never cured, but pretty stable now.
So my reasons were cyclical, yours are obviously long term. Do you know the helpline numbers in case you get to a serious stage where you might act on your moods? You will probably not need them, but having them is in its own way a safety net.
Does your gp know how bad you feel right now? You need to concentrate on yourself as much as you can right now.
Are you honest with a new therapy in explaining you can mentally put a block on thoughts so precious therapies have not been successful. ( not a fault btw, more self preservation). The more they know in advance the more they can tailor help
Small successes in each day should be seen as major triumphs when we are like this. Know that people do understand, and I am sorry it's so hard for you right now.
X
Hi my lovely
I do try to be kind to myself and try to accept that I am not ok. However, this has gone on since I was 13 and I am now 48. It just gets so scary and the only treatment that seems to help is Ads. The side effects sometimes are too much though. In order to have some quality of life though I have to take these.
I know how difficult you have found things too and its so bloody scary when the dark thoughts enter. Pleased things have improved slightly for you xxxx
I do have the numbers to hand just in case..... my GP will tell me to persevere with the Ads.
Its just the waiting until i start to feel them working and start to feel like a person again :'(.
I really feel I will be on the Ads for the rest of my life my mental health has plagued my life and I am trying my best
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Although I don't enjoy being on any medication I do know my body and mind need it right now. I would willingly stay on hrt all my life of it offered relief from my symptoms and was safe to do so. And I would also return to ADs if I continue to need them to support my mental health. Although I came off a previous AD for a year, my mental health issues returned so I went back on a different one. I don't have a cut off date as such for coming off an AD unless my gp discusses this with me. Again, as long as it was safe to do so, would it be so bad to remain on them for a longer period?
I don't see being on medication for physical or mental health as me 'failing ' or am weak in any way,I have gone passed that feeling. I need both for symptoms that are so bad without the help they give,even with side effects. I am better on both, then off. Would this be something you could understand for yourself in a way maybe?
This year for me has been trying to accept all the s**t that has been overwhelming me this year, as I have ( slowly and reluctantly ) accepted some of it,it has been easier to work with it, rather than against it.
Easier said than done I know, particularly when we feel at our mental lowest. Xx
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Initially in 1988 I didn't want to take any anti-depressant medication because I wanted to know the causation of my depression. However, after 8 months of medication I began to feel well. I never want to feel 'that scared' ever again!
Over the years I've altered the type of AD as newer meds came available. Now the Powers that B would have to snatch them from me!
Which particular side effects do you find difficult? For me it was intense nausea :-X :-\
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Hey Sarah
I have taken Ads for number of years and the only reason I stopped them was due to side effects causing involuntary movements at night which kept me and my hubby awake its a common side effect of SSRI's. If I need them for life so be it but I was waking up so tired and having to do a full day at work. My eyes would be closing at my desk, so I don't have an actual issue with taking Ads themselves.
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Fortunately, I've never had those symptoms ........ I had restless legs since the age of 11 - could that be the side effect? I cured mine by eating several bananas a day or taking 'nurofen' at night.
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Fortunately, I've never had those symptoms ........ I had restless legs since the age of 11 - could that be the side effect? I cured mine by eating several bananas a day or taking 'nurofen' at night.
On the leaflet with the Ads it lists involuntary movements as one of the side effects. Your very lucky if you don't get this side effect and I am sure they may be something to counter act it
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I wonder which ADs. :-\ So far having taken at least 7 successfully I've not been affected. PHEW!
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Fluoxetine although all SSRI's can cause this. Its more violent jerky movements. They haven't surfaced as yet and hopefully they don't but they usually appear after I have been on the Ad's for a while.
It will be hubby that will complain first but I will have to explain its either he gets a good nights sleep and my mental health detoriates.
I do suffer nausea but that settles down over time. Either way I need the Ads to have a quality of life as I can't keep going thru this pattern it is exhausting and draining for both me and my family. The worse thing about mental illness is that it is hidden, so if you don't look physically broken people think you are ok.
I remember in my early 20s feeling really low and a colleague at work was also feeling very low and was about 15 years older than me. I tried to explain that I also suffered from mental health and her reply was " Don't be silly you have a gorgeous figure and you are beautiful what on earth do you have to be depressed about" :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\. I felt like screaming my mind is broken! That's what I have to be depressed about, it doesn't work properly, I don't work properly and I don't know why!.
I really wish at times I wasn't born to be living a life like this is no kind of life. The fact is I was born, and failings from my parents have caused all these issues for me, alongside some issues at school which all changed me as a person and have affected me ever since.
I do hope I get the right type of counselling this time to sort all these issues out (alongside my Ads) which I know will be difficult as I have a tendency to say I am ok even when I am not. I also know waiting lists for treatment will be very long and if I could afford private I would. At least the ball is rolling again I guess, I have my assessement on Wed and then will find out which counselling therapy I will be out forward for.
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So make a note to hand to your Therapist: "I am reluctant and find it difficult to let it all out". That way appropriate probing questions can be asked. These therapists aren't there to judge us. I was relieved to B able to speak at someone without being questioned.
Half a day at a time!
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I've got my last session of Talking Therapy CBT tomorrow for anxiety and it has helped a lot but not a cure completely. I still get anxiety but having it confirmed why by a professional (traumatic childhood), has enabled me to come to terms with it better, there is a reason why I'm like this and it's ok. I'm managing now which is all that's needed really, everyone suffers with anxiety it's just some cope better than others and some can't cope at all. It's finding the way to cope best for you, therapy, meds or a bit of both.
Hope the talking therapy helps.
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Thank you for sharing your experience. I just want better coping methods that's all and it seems I am one of those people that can't cope! I do need the Ads as I know therapy alone will not be enough due to how I am feeling now and how low I have dipped when not been on them.
I am pleased the therapy has helped you xxxx
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Losingtheplot - is there a specific incident that you are unable to cope with, mayB make a note so that you have that to open the session with. Initially I rambled ::) until the therapist gently directed me, asking what I needed to sort first.
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Not a particular one I can think of as it all tends to intermingle. I am sure the therapist will unfold things
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I just want to thank all the ladies that have replied to my post. I know everyone has their own struggles too so really am grateful
Xxxxxxxx
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I just want to thank all the ladies that have replied to my post. I know everyone has their own struggles too so really am grateful
Xxxxxxxx
That is why this forum is invaluable. It offers that safe space for us to vent/chat/air worries and fears, in a non judgemental manner.
Lets hope a new approach in therapy can work for you. No one should have to resign themselves to the fact that they are going to feel rubbish indefinitely.
This time of year though, is often so tough for many and it takes courage, to grin and bear it, when you feel like doing the opposite!
xxx
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Thank you Nas.
You are so right this time of year is so very difficult for me and many others like you say.
Once my meds start kicking in and I am able to think clearer I will continue with them as I know I need them for life otherwise I relapse.
Not a failure but what is needed and thank you Sarah T for making me realise that again.
Just when I get low I overthink and makes me feel that I should be able to cope, everyone else seems to!
Is it just other people also suffer but like me hide it and grin and bear.
Hope your doing ok Nas I have seen your posts and can see you have been thru a very tough time latelyxxxx
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Losingtheplot, Sarah T makes some very valid points; it is absolutely okay, not to be okay.
As you say, once the meds kick in, you will be on an even keel hopefully and then you can plan how you want to proceed therapy wise.
Never think you should be able to cope, or indeed have to cope. Just because people appear to be coping, doesn’t mean they are. People are great at putting on an act.
Keep us posted on how you are x
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Thsnk you Nas xxx
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You're not wrong there Nas,
We all have to get through days where we plaster on that fake smile whilst inside we feel wrecked. But seeking help is a strength, a positive thing to do for ourselves. And it doesn't go overnight, it's ongoing maintenance for some of us.
Losingtheplot, feeling so unstable is seriously hard, but you know once the ADs take hold and hopefully some therapy and it slowly slowly begins to help. I like CLKD's advice, write down the thought that you hold back, gives them something to work with.
And as always,be kind to yourself, no one chooses to feel like this,it's not a fault. Xx
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Hey Sarah
Thanks again. Its a telephone assessment so I will have to tell them that I hold back, this I don't do intentionally but it happens as my mind is confused and trying to find the words to engage. Its like I get a form of dementia.
Xxxx
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Really struggling today :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
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Hey Sarah
Thanks again. Its a telephone assessment so I will have to tell them that I hold back, this I don't do intentionally but it happens as my mind is confused and trying to find the words to engage. Its like I get a form of dementia.
Xxxx
Mine was telephone assesment, you will then be allocated a therapist later. You can continue with telephone therapy, zoom or face to face. I chose the zoom.
I wrote as much down before my assesment so I didn't forget and it helped me just to reel it all off.
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Hi Diedre,
I have written down as much as I can in preparation. I know the talking therapy is not going to magically make everything better, just giving it another try to see if it can help me further alongside meds. More to beable to help me have some coping strategies really. Take care xxx
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The more ways of coping with this the better, it helps just having someone to pour it all out to that actually listens. I'd feel drained after sessions sometimes, Id offloaded so much, but felt so better for it.
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Yes I know from past counselling sessions it is very draining - still it has been of help to you somewhat so that's what counts. Counselling/therapy is very exhausting. Just when my meds kick in and I feel ok I have to put myself back into the mindset of when I struggle so emotionally very difficult but necessary to get anything from the sessions
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Which is why keeping a journal can be helpful. I never felt drained, simply relieved that some1 was listening.
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Yes I agree and I have noted plenty down to help me recall things as can be quite daunting trying to think on the spot when brain doesn't want to engage :(
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Last week I had an appt to try to work out what the help is wrong with me, atm fibromyalgia is the top guess. But as soon as I and the Dr had swapped hellos, she said the most important thing I could ever have wished for. I Believe You. That was huge for me.
So yes,relief just that someone is listening to you is so important. Tell them you struggle to feel able to speak freely, and also that the meds do help support you but on the days they dont,that is when you feel so very low. So maybe,suggested write some thoughts down when you are at your worse. It's horrible to relive when you read than again, ( I have done so myself) but that gives a very honest and more accurate example of how awful you can feel.
And remember always be kind to yourself. I know I repeat this but I sincerely believe many of us fail to do this. Xx
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Ahh thats so good your doctor sounds so lovely.
I had actually started writing bits down a week or so ago and have added to it and yes it is upsetting to read but at same time it's how I feel at my low points.
It's will feel like I have written about someone else once meds kick in as I can then function better and thats when I hate revisiting the dark times.
Its an uphill struggle aswell you know and the therapy may help it may not but I am going to try it.
My close friends are advising same to be kind to myself and I am trying even with that awful self doubting voice and thoughts. I have found today very difficult and such a struggle but I've made it and still here. You take care xxx
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Well had telephone assessment today. Seemed to go ok, the written down notes did help.
Now waiting to see what therapy I will be offered CBT or counselling should find out in a week or so. Then be put on a waiting list.
The assessor I spoke to today was lovely. For some reason the 2 times she rang me call went straight to voicemail! I had full signal on my mobile too.
I rang the number back and was being told my assessment would need to be rescheduled! I :o
I could literally of cried at that point as I had left work early and rushed to try and get home before the phone call.
I didn't make it home instead parked car up with 5 mins to spare to wait for the call.
The assessor could probably hear how stressed I sounded when she mentioned rescheduling and reassured me that she would do the assessment on this call instead and move her other work back. I felt awful but I had waited over a week and a half for this appointment. Just her doing that calmed me down instantly. Just a lovely woman who recognised how distressed I was.
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That's good. If she hadn't been able to shuffle her work load she probably wouldn't have made the suggestion.
Glad that the list helped a bit. Keep up with those notes.
It may mean that your appts will be in the New Year, although hopefully some1 will contact U to let you know.
Once you've had a chance to vent you will begin to regain some semblance of control.
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That's someone who is in the right profession to be able to recognise how stressed you were and crucially to be able to respond positively to you.
I understand how calming it can be just to have someone listen to you, to give you time and a safe space.And like CLKD has said writing down your feelings is a good way to release some of it. I truly know how hard it can be to read that back, it's like reading a stranger's words not your own. In the therapy I have had,I call it my rational self or my irrational self regardless of the reasons I am in a MH crisis.
So,.first step was back on ADs, second step was to ask for therapy guidance, and third step was the assessment. It's a good positive beginning. I honestly believe asking for help for physical and especially mental or emotional health is a strength.
Thanks for the update, a huge hug your way xx
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Thanks ladies and I know it will be well into the New Year before I get a therapy appointment as be several months wait as already been pre warned waiting lists are long.
Thank you Sarah T and I am wanting to get better I just need to stop letting past events take over my life now.
CLKD i appreciate what you are saying however for me personally it is more than venting to someone it is learning to cope with what happened and that I shouldn't let it affect the rest of my life.
Easier said than done! I need to learn to be able to cope better which is something I am unable to do currently. I don't expect life to be a bed of roses and to be jumping out of bed full of the joys of spring. I know life can be up and down, I just need to ensure the downs don't make me feel like I did all them years ago when life was very down.
When I get so low I go back to feeling how I did at the time of my childhood trauma, that is the issue the same thoughts and feelings engulf me.
I am generally happy in my life, have a lovely son and hubby and 2 cute as anything dogs. Obviously the dreaded peri and all its symptoms isn't a great addition but on the whole life is ok.
One step at a time is all I do and that like you say Sarah T is positive :)
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My anxiety was through childhood trauma, at the time though you just live through it as it's normal, you don't know any different and you trust your parent to do the best. It's not until you get older and have children of your own you realise how bad your childhood was and how the sudden death of a parent and the way it change our lives actually had affected my adult life.
My therapist explained things that happen in childhood mould the adult we become, it's always kind of engrained in us, but it's not a bad thing, it makes us who we are and maybe stronger and wiser. I over compensated with my children so I knew I'd never make the same mistakes.
I worry a lot because i always expect the worse to happen as it did in childhood and if the worse doesn't happen its a bonus. Not a good way to think.
My therapy sessions have made me think differently now, more positive than negativity and accepting uncertainties in life and not worrying about things that may never happen. I have setbacks but that's ok cause I know how to get back on track again and have made alot of progress to the point my family have noticed the change in me.
Therapy has helped and I've now finished but I can go back if I ever need to with the same therapist. I hope you will get alot out of therapy, every bit helps.
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Hi Deirdre
It good to read how the therapy has helped you and how far you have come. It gives me hope that it may help me too in some way.
I completely relate to the over compensating with our kids. I only have 1 boy but shield him from the kind of trauma I experienced at his age and younger. Most importantly I let him know how much I love him and support him with any hurdles he comes across in life. Something I didn't have when growing up. My childhood is filled with hurtful and emotionally upsetting memories so when friends or colleagues reminisce I often keep out of the conversation as I can't recall happy memories just pain, tears and stress.
Take care Dierdre and thanks for sharing xxx
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Myself and my siblings have always talked openly about our childhood to family and close friends and I've never felt the need to keep it to myself. I know what you mean though when people are sharing all their happy times and you can't think of many. What you have to think of is all the lovely memories your family have, the memories you have made.
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Me and my sister sometimes talk about our childhood but its very painful for us both and if I share details with friends etc I find it upsetting as the focus is then on me and people go quiet so I find it easier to blend in the background rather than have sympathy from people which isn't what I want.
That's a good piece of advice as I do reminisce about my son at Christmas time when he was younger. The magical aspect of it and the innocence and he has wonderful memories as do I x
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I know what you mean, that's why it's only discussed with friends who have known me for years. I've got lots of memories and more to come with grandchildren now too.
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Chased up what next steps were after my therapy assessment. have been referred for High intensity cognitive behaviour therapy. Firstly, I need to complete an onboarding task which involves writing down over 7 days 1 situation daily that triggers my moods. I have to write down what I thought, how I felt and what I did.
Once I submit this I will then be put on a waiting list.
I think its to see if I am psychologically ready for the therapy.
Hopefully my diary will report that I am as I do need coping strategies I am worn out mentally drained and need some practical guidance alongside my Ads
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That's good to be following a plan of action. Even in the interim of waiting for the course of therapy, it may help you see in plain writing exactly how you are affected by day to day anxieties. Sometimes we simply have to just work through these anxieties just to get through the day. This way you will see more how affected you can feel.
I know you don't like rereading your thoughts and feelings ( that's a painful thing, I do understand) but it will be useful as you carry on to the CBT.
Deep breath girl. X
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Thank you Sarah T appreciate your advice xxx
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Fortunately, I've never had those symptoms ........ I had restless legs since the age of 11 - could that be the side effect? I cured mine by eating several bananas a day or taking 'nurofen' at night.
Do you take nurofen regularly? I only ask because it contains ibuprofen and that has damaged my stomach. Its so harmful if its being taken repeatedly. Do you need an anti inflammatory or will painkillers work? I'm sorry you all have challenges with mental health. I've a lot of lived experience with it. My grandad was bipolar and my close aunt had clinical depression, back then having EST. My father in law had clinical depression. My son is on anti anxiety medicine having started with depression and anxiety attacks at university and I have my low moods. I think sometimes it's in the family. My last job was working on a positive mental health programme. I used to teach art and alongside, talk about how it can be used as a helpful strategy. I turn to my art whenever I'm feeling in a black hole but it's not so easy for people who have more severe problems however I did find the people who came to my sessions, and they had a variety of problems, found some escape and began to take notice of things outside and around more. I think my son will always take his medication but having seen the state he was in, I'm not objecting. He was about to lose his job. He's turned his life around with meds and CBT.
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Hi Jules
Thank you for sharing. Yes my dad suffers bi polar and schizophrenia and his brother my uncle who died quite a few years ago also suffered severe mental health issues.
I think so many people do these days. Its good to hear that art helps you. I find listening to music can change my mood even for a short time. Its just when the anxiety takes over my life to the extent I can't function that dark thoughts creep in. Medication is a life saver for me. Hopefully CBT will also benefit me like it has your son. Take Care xxxx
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Hi Jules
Thank you for sharing. Yes my dad suffers bi polar and schizophrenia and his brother my uncle who died quite a few years ago also suffered severe mental health issues.
I think so many people do these days. Its good to hear that art helps you. I find listening to music can change my mood even for a short time. Its just when the anxiety takes over my life to the extent I can't function that dark thoughts creep in. Medication is a life saver for me. Hopefully CBT will also benefit me like it has your son. Take Care xxxx
I have to say, if I'm feeling low, I'm also feeling tired and don't have energy to be creative however it's opened up new avenues and social opportunities for me and I've made new friends, something also reported by people who came to my sessions. Regarding CBT, my son is a very pragmatic person, he was desperate and so did exactly what he was told, put the strategies into place without too much overthinking so it worked. It might not be the case for everyone. He does still use the strategies too.
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Well I am open to trying it. I know it won't be a walk in the park, however I do try and get as much help as I can. I am open to anything that will help get my mental health back on track.
I may also try some counselling following the CBT if I feel I need some additional support
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I've just read this thread and you, LTP, are absolutely heroic.
Don't really want to go into the ins and outs of it, but I've been in weekly therapy for 4.5 years now. I think I've probably got about another 5 years to go. I found a heavily reduced rate through local women's services - otherwise I couldn't afford it.
I can't really believe the change in myself, suicidal ideation has gone, no more chronic self-injuring, can just about stop myself spiralling and talk it through / put it behind me / be my actual self. In other words, recovery is possible.
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Oh wow Elkwarning that is amazing to hear! I don't feel heroic but thanks for the lovely words.
It is so nice to read a positive experience. You sound like you have been really committed to your therapy and are reaping the benefits. Truly fantastic. Thank you for giving me hope. Xxx
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Hi
The best advice I can give you, is read the body keeps the score and do the therapies it advises, somatic work which it goes into detail about would be so beneficial at this stage in your life.💚
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Hi Whitewitch
Thank you for the advice.
I take it you have tried CBT yourself as you seem to speak from experience. Hopefully this is the right therapy for me as friends have told me about some other therapy trauma based which might be more suitable. However, I am prepared to give CBT a try first.
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Hello Losingtheplot
The NHS is very keen on CBT as it includes frequent monitoring so progress can be recorded.
There are obviously other types of therapy available if CBT doesn't suit you. Personally I didn't get on with CBT, probably because it was too practical for my meno fuddled brain and changeable emotions lol.
Take care.
K.
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I agree with Kathleen, in that although CBT helped me previously, this year I Had talking therapy, a one to one counselling that was better for me in this instance. As you know counselling is very much tailored to each individual. Sometimes just knowing someone is listening to you can bring enormous relief whatever the therapy given.
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Hi Kathleen
Yes I can see positives in CBT just from the online work I have been given in the interim before therapy.
I feel that I do need to offload too as I feel alot of anger and resentment from the past experiences I have been through which I know have affected me.
I need to accept my past but it is so difficult when certain family members bring up painful memories from past. That is difficult as how can I move forward if there is a constant reminder. I know CBT focuses on changing way of thinking and I will try it as got nothing to lose right?
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Hi SarahT
Yes I can appreciate different therapies can help in different ways. I am pleased both have helped you. Either way it's a start for me. CBT may give me some coping skills when the negative thoughts creep in. I know I need to be kinder to myself too.
One step at a time for me. I have started the process so things can surely improve obv I need to commit to the exercises and I am going to write a journal daily and reflect on things so they are out of my mind as that is another issue for me. Over thinking!
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Yes it's very easy to know our had habits we inflict on ourselves like overthinking things, and far less easy to find a way to change. 🙄 CBT did give me skills to be able to see things clearer and also to help me slow down when the negative stuff started to spiral. It was 100% worth working on the CBT side of things. You definitely have nothing to lose, all positive steps forward will help. And of course the therapist will be there to work with you.
It does take some courage to seek therapy as we know we may be opening ourselves up for stuff we kind of prefer to keep hidden away, ( easier not to face things, that's me) so remember to tell yourself that you are doing a positive action, a kindness to yourself. Xx
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I will give any therapy my best shot. Just hope I don't have a long wait to get started with an actual therapist. Thank you fof the kind words and I am proud that I have managed to make this move towards helping myself, I just need to try and commit myself as motivation isn't great at the minute.