Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => New Members => Topic started by: Cinnamon07 on November 26, 2023, 10:47:09 PM
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Hello
I'm new here from the states, this is my second post. The first post was about my belief that I'm in perimenopause at 38-years-old, I'm sure this is what's wrong with me based on family history (mom was done with menopause at 40, grandmother at 38, and all 5 of my moms sisters was done with menopause by the age of 45) and my symptoms, which has now caused me to resort to self-harm. I know it sounds crazy, however, repeatedly slapping myself really hard, or repeatedly banging my hand up against something is the only way I can get any relief. One would think that sleep would bring some relief but it doesn't, I'm constantly waking up, and jerking awake and feeling all kinds of weird sensations. Last night I jerked awake, I was severely weak and felt as though I was going to pass out, I started screaming "I can't take this anymore, I just want to die" over and over again. My screaming woke my daughter up, she ran to me and crying, and just held me until I laid back down and went back to sleep, or at least I think I went back to sleep, I don't even know if and when I sleep, it's all messed up. I can barley walk, when I do, I feel wobbly, off balance, and as if I'm going to pass out. My daughter is 16-years-old and has watched me completely crumble over the past 4 years, I'm now feeling a great deal of anger towards her for being here, because the matter is. If I did not have her, I would have killed myself 4 years ago, I don't want to be here anymore and I feel like she's stopping me from ending this hell that I'm in. No doctor will listen to my family is toxic so I don't deal with them, and I don't have any friends. My daughter is starting to notice the swelling in my hand and the bruising on my face from the slapping and banging, what else can I do, I know a lot of you ladies have been through not getting the care you need from doctors, how did/do you cope? I coped for sooooo long, I worked for as long as could (I took leave from work on October 10th) now what do I do? I'm fading fast and have no hope that things will get better.
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Hi Cinnamon. I have no real answers for you at this moment but just wanted to let you know that your post has been read and you are not alone. I'm not sure if this is the first time you have self harmed and, if so, I know it can be really scary to feel so out of control. Have you got any methods you can use to try to calm yourself even a little? Is there a friend you can call just for a chat and to take your mind off what's happening even for a little while? Here in the UK we have different crisis lines to call when we feel so low. Do you have one you can call?
Taz x :hug:
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Taz
Thank you for the reply, I only started self-harming a few days ago and know that it will not become a habit, I've just been so frustrated these past couple days with my symptoms, that I just snapped and the self-harming has been the result. The thing is, I have no relief from all the symptoms, they are with me from the time I awake until the time I go to bed and all throughout my nighttime wakings. I would be able to better deal if I had a few days are weeks with no symptoms, but my God, they are non-stop. Emotionally, I felt better after posting on here, and after my daughter took me for a long ride. I don't have a friend I can call for support, everyone seems to be really going through a lot nowadays, and I don't want bother people. We have a lot of crisis lines out here to call, however, so many are just so ill-equipped to truly and ineffectively help someone in a crisis. They offer a quick distraction, which is helpful, however, they aren't really helpful, in my opinion. Again, I thank you for reaching out just to check in, it helped a lot with claiming me down, although I physically feel like crap.
-Cinnamon
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Morning. U need emotional support today.
What R your periods doing? At certain times of the monthly cycle, emotions can run riot. Dr Kathleen Dalton did a lot of research regarding mood swings related to hormonal upheavals. It may be worth your while contacting the UK-based The National Association for Pre-menstrual Syndrome - they helped me a lot in the 1990s.
How is your diet? Do U cook from scratch, does your DD help in the kitchen, with shopping ........ does your DD have full time education?
Self harming has a lot of specific support groups in the UK. I suspect that where you are there will be centres/on-line organisations if you don't get help from your medical care givers.
Keeping a mood/food/symptom diary may be useful to chart the whole month.
If your mind is in over drive it is possible that you wake suddenly due to dreaming ......... this happened to me in the 1990s. Awful and very scary.
Is there a Church or Community Hall where you could sit for a while? Despair is awful.
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My heart goes out to you but also not fair on your precious daughter, please get help today, mentally and yes I also went through early meno its very real, the best thing you can do is to go onto HRT it changed my life. The gel and Utrogestan I started at 38. All the very best to you both.
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I know it's not fair to my daughter ! I'm not going through hell on PURPOSE. As stated beforehand, this hell started 4 years ago, and I just started to crumble mentally and emotionally a few days ago. I know I need help with getting my hormones in order, however, there is NO HELP ! if there was, I would not be on here trying to find out what helped others when the medical system has failed them. I don't know where you're from, however, where I'm from. We can't just "go onto HRT" doctors need to prescribe it.
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Morning. U need emotional support today.
What R your periods doing? At certain times of the monthly cycle, emotions can run riot. Dr Kathleen Dalton did a lot of research regarding mood swings related to hormonal upheavals. It may be worth your while contacting the UK-based The National Association for Pre-menstrual Syndrome - they helped me a lot in the 1990s.
How is your diet? Do U cook from scratch, does your DD help in the kitchen, with shopping ........ does your DD have full time education?
Self harming has a lot of specific support groups in the UK. I suspect that where you are there will be centres/on-line organisations if you don't get help from your medical care givers.
Keeping a mood/food/symptom diary may be useful to chart the whole month.
If your mind is in over drive it is possible that you wake suddenly due to dreaming ......... this happened to me in the 1990s. Awful and very scary.
Is there a Church or Community Hall where you could sit for a while? Despair is awful.
Hello
Thank you for reaching out, my periods are erratic in the sense, that I bleed like a wounded animal (I feel the blood pouring out of me) and I now only bleed for 1-3 days. When I use to bleed for 5-6 days I sometimes have 2 bleeds a month, I've started having brown discharge, and I've started having sever anxiety, and panic during me periods. We eat good, my daughter really loves cooking and grocery shopping, and yes, she attends a private school online which she loves. I just wish doctors would listen, I know I'm in perimenopause and have been since I was 35-years-old, however, doctors don't go by symptoms, they go by unreliable lab results.
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Where in the World do you live?
Most countries have access to health advice. How is the medical treatment availability in your area?
U R probably peri-menopause. Those years prior to the final bleed = menopause. Peri throws up various symptoms which can become overwhelming including health anxiety, depression, intense worrying ........
No 1 has suggested that you are experiencing symptoms 'on purpose'. Peri can take many of us by surprise.
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Cinnamon is in the states CLKD
Taz x
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:thankyou:
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In most countries even 3rd world ones, Drs have to prescribe HRT thus my suggestion, get some help from a medical professional. All the best.
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I'm sorry you're going through this and are unsupported by your doc. Are there any local groups or forums where you could get advice to find a more hrt friendly gp? Here the NHS goes on symptoms because blood results are so unreliable in peri. I really think hrt would help you, for me it was life changing.
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Do you have insurance? If not, what other way can you access care? As said above, in the UK doctors prescribe based on symptoms but perhaps they are insisting on bloods because of your age. Have you had bloods done? Maybe worth repeating if you have. Definitely sounds like you'd benefit from hrt.
I also wonder if there is some emotional support you can get for your daughter particularly given she is underage, or a number she can call to talk to someone independently. Sounds like she could do with some help too.
Good luck, I hope you can get sorted. People can and do go through early menopause, so I would really hope that find a care provider who can help.
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Do you have insurance? If not, what other way can you access care? As said above, in the UK doctors prescribe based on symptoms but perhaps they are insisting on bloods because of your age. Have you had bloods done? Maybe worth repeating if you have. Definitely sounds like you'd benefit from hrt.
I also wonder if there is some emotional support you can get for your daughter particularly given she is underage, or a number she can call to talk to someone independently. Sounds like she could do with some help too.
Good luck, I hope you can get sorted. People can and do go through early menopause, so I would really hope that find a care provider who can help.
Yes, I have AMAZING insurance through my job, for the time being. I just left an appointment with my doctor and that woman is not budging. She seriously don't believe my issues are hormonal related🫤 she gave me a prescription for Lexapro 🫣. I was thinking perhaps the mini pill, or a low dose combo pill, but nope. It's time to fire my current doctor and go see a new one.
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Where in the World do you live?
Most countries have access to health advice. How is the medical treatment availability in your area?
U R probably peri-menopause. Those years prior to the final bleed = menopause. Peri throws up various symptoms which can become overwhelming including health anxiety, depression, intense worrying ........
No 1 has suggested that you are experiencing symptoms 'on purpose'. Peri can take many of us by surprise.
I live in the USA, out here most doctors only go by test results, it's so incredibly frustrating. I know I'm in perimenopause, however, US doctors are so reliant on lab results to dictate their every move.
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I'm sorry you're going through this and are unsupported by your doc. Are there any local groups or forums where you could get advice to find a more hrt friendly gp? Here the NHS goes on symptoms because blood results are so unreliable in peri. I really think hrt would help you, for me it was life changing.
Not in the USA, you're not. getting a prescription for anything if test results don't show a need for a particular medication. However, US doctors love, I mean they absolutely love, giving prescriptions for SSRI's. Hence, the reason why I walked away from my appointment today with a prescription for Lexapro, rather then a prescription for HRT. it sucks, I wish our doctors were better at following the symptoms rather then the lab results.
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We have problems with that too Cinnamon and lots of women visit here with the same story of their doctor going by blood test results instead of symptoms. We have guidance that they are supposed to follow. This is called the NICE guidelines and stands for National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. Do you have similar in the US?
I hope that you find the Lexapro helpful.
Taz x
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Why dont you ask the Dr to test your hormone levels, via a blood test. I had to insist on blood tests at 38 as my Dr would not believe I was getting hot flushes and sure enough my levels were indicative of early meno. He then had no option but to put me onto HRT.
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Hi Cassie. Cinnamon's blood test results came back normal I believe from her earlier posts so doc has refused HRT. This is a big problem for some women as HRT prescribing should be symptom-led rather than based on unreliable blood test results.
Taz x
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In the UK many Companies are implementing a menopause strategy in order to support their staff. Could you suggest this to your Team Leader? Does the Insurance Company insist on specific Care Givers or can you freelance? Would the Insurance Company have a list of Medics involved with Womens Health?
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If your oestrogen levels are within the normal range, how could that be menopause, so confusing :-\
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It's because during peri the levels fluctuate wildly over a short space of time.
Taz x
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If your oestrogen levels are within the normal range, how could that be menopause, so confusing :-\
That's the issue with perimemopause, which is what stage Cinammin is likely in. The blood tests are considered unreliable as one day your levels can he on the floor amd the next they can spike higher than a teenage girl's! Perimenopause is full of fluctuations and lots of women take it during this time to help level the peaks and troughs out. It is also the reason why UK doctors go on symptoms rather than blood test results.
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What I don't understand is why they don't use similar guidelines in the US.
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Back in the old days they didn't do blood tests to determine whether you were menopausal or not. You went to the doctors with raging hot flushes and given HRT if you wanted it. I knew I was taking in too much oestrogen because I had some of my own swirling around. How I knew was when my breasts started to get very sore and developed a cyst but that disappeared by itself. I started to take my HRT every other day and it worked perfectly for me for the five years I was on it.
Reading posts on here I find that it has all become far too complicated and the menopause issue is so much more convoluted.
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If your oestrogen levels are within the normal range, how could that be menopause, so confusing :-\
That's the issue with perimemopause, which is what stage Cinammin is likely in. The blood tests are considered unreliable as one day your levels can he on the floor amd the next they can spike higher than a teenage girl's! Perimenopause is full of fluctuations and lots of women take it during this time to help level the peaks and troughs out. It is also the reason why UK doctors go on symptoms rather than blood test results.
As another poster already stated, this is just too difficult, however, It should not be. I really need to be on HRT, however, do you think the mini pill will work? Because it seems as though it will be easier to get prescription for birth control than HRT at this point.
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We have problems with that too Cinnamon and lots of women visit here with the same story of their doctor going by blood test results instead of symptoms. We have guidance that they are supposed to follow. This is called the NICE guidelines and stands for National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. Do you have similar in the US?
I hope that you find the Lexapro helpful.
Taz x
Hey, I don't know if we have anything like The national institute for health and care excellence out here. However, I would not be surprised if we do. I'm not going to take the Lexapro, I have a problem with my female hormones being out of whack, not with my serotonin levels being insufficient. I've now developed a significant distrust and hatred of doctors, It's just mind-boggling, that someone can sit in front of you looking, sounding, and telling you how horrible the feel, and as a medical professional you disregard it, it's just madness.
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Why dont you ask the Dr to test your hormone levels, via a blood test. I had to insist on blood tests at 38 as my Dr would not believe I was getting hot flushes and sure enough my levels were indicative of early meno. He then had no option but to put me onto HRT.
I wish it were that easy, also, I did request blood work and it came back normal. However, those results aren't reliable, when it first started 4 years ago, I was having night sweats and hot flushes like crazy for like a week. Then they went away, however, this year they came back to a minor degree. I'm mainly really weak, off balance, can't walk for long, sever brain fog, anxious, consistently What are you doing waking up while sleep with horrible sensations in my body and anxiety, sever constipation, and vision issues. I experience all these symptoms daily and non-stop, it really sucks, even more so because I have access to great healthcare, however, I can't get any help.
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If your oestrogen levels are within the normal range, how could that be menopause, so confusing :-\
That's the issue with perimemopause, which is what stage Cinammin is likely in. The blood tests are considered unreliable as one day your levels can he on the floor amd the next they can spike higher than a teenage girl's! Perimenopause is full of fluctuations and lots of women take it during this time to help level the peaks and troughs out. It is also the reason why UK doctors go on symptoms rather than blood test results.
As another poster already stated, this is just too difficult, however, It should not be. I really need to be on HRT, however, do you think the mini pill will work? Because it seems as though it will be easier to get prescription for birth control than HRT at this point.
I've never taken the mini pill so no idea about that. However, some ladies who go through menopause without hrt makes changes to their diet and use supplements instead. Perhaps you could work with a naturopath or functional medicine doctor who can guide you on that path. I wouldn't do any supplements without supervision but you could definitely make changes to your diet and add more phytoestrogens in. Does your insurance cover alternative practitioners like that?
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If your oestrogen levels are within the normal range, how could that be menopause, so confusing :-\
That's the issue with perimemopause, which is what stage Cinammin is likely in. The blood tests are considered unreliable as one day your levels can he on the floor amd the next they can spike higher than a teenage girl's! Perimenopause is full of fluctuations and lots of women take it during this time to help level the peaks and troughs out. It is also the reason why UK doctors go on symptoms rather than blood test results.
As another poster already stated, this is just too difficult, however, It should not be. I really need to be on HRT, however, do you think the mini pill will work? Because it seems as though it will be easier to get prescription for birth control than HRT at this point.
I've never taken the mini pill so no idea about that. However, some ladies who go through menopause without hrt makes changes to their diet and use supplements instead. Perhaps you could work with a naturopath or functional medicine doctor who can guide you on that path. I wouldn't do any supplements without supervision but you could definitely make changes to your diet and add more phytoestrogens in. Does your insurance cover alternative practitioners like that?
Thanks for the reply, yes, my health insurance cover alternative practitioners
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There are combined BCPs that can be used in early peri, I don't think they have enough oestrogen for later on but they might help you now. There are 2 that Hurdity recommends, one is qlaira and I can't remember the other. I have no idea if they're available in the US but you should be able to find something similar.
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There are combined BCPs that can be used in early peri, I don't think they have enough oestrogen for later on but they might help you now. There are 2 that Hurdity recommends, one is qlaira and I can't remember the other. I have no idea if they're available in the US but you should be able to find something similar.
Awesome, thank you