Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Donnal1964 on August 26, 2023, 01:33:14 PM
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Is it just me but my sex drive has been back high for a while now, the only problem is some mornings I can have no spotting or anything during the night, nothing in the morning but on some days have some spotting usually burgundy or brown dischage when I wipe. It's all been checked and everything is fine but it is effecting my sex life as I have the constant worry that if we have sex I will either leave hubby in a mess or stain the sheets, even though there is nothing showing and we both want sex but its that fear that's holding me back. There is no pressure from hubby, in fact he is the most understanding man ever its just that nagging in my mind. Has anyone else experienced this at all?
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Not exactly the same, but I have gone through a period where health anxiety was so bad that I was scared to have sex in case there was bleeding, which would trigger an investigation and my fears of cervical cancer would spiral. Even though GP reassured me bleeding after no sex for a long time when I'm already dry down there would be common, I still couldn't do it. Doesn't sound like your fear is health related, more mess related though, is that right? Could you lay a towel down the first time? Or put a second sheet on that you could put straight in the wash, or hubby could have a shower straight afterwards?
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I seem to have developed this anxiety too…. I went through a month or 2 of spotting between periods it seems to have stopped other than ovulation bleed and spotting before period starts. Have had ultrasound and transvagina which was all clear But doc won’t give me a smear as I’m not due until November. I am petrified to have any sort of penetration from my husband just in case I bleed. I am suffering badly with health anxiety but it’s nice to know I’m not on my own.
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Brown staining is usually due to old blood that isn't pushed through the womb due to a lack of hormones as we age.
Using plenty of lube prior to intimacy and rinse after a cuddle should lessen the risk of leakage. Your husband can rinse too ;-).
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Are you on hrt ?
I have had a fair few episodes of brown spotting mid cycle. I think it's caused by lack of estrogen. I did have a scan which showed a 4cm cyst on my ovary, but it had disappeared 4 weeks later. 🤔
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You could always put a towel underneath when having sex if you're afraid of staining the sheets. As your husband is so understanding, he won't mind having to rinse his penis afterwards if anything appears on it. Alternatively just have fun without penetrative sex.