Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: Cassie on July 23, 2023, 01:45:49 PM
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We are expecting our first grandchild in due course. I am of course beside myself with excitement, I asked the Granddad to be how he felt about it....his response... I am happy for the parents but its nothing to me, not my child, no why should I be excited...then proceeded to work out mathematically how removed he is genetically from his own daughters first child.... I was more than shocked, am I over reacting, from those whose OH are grandads, is this a normal reaction. :-\
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Not a normal reaction at all IMO. Not a surprise he isn't as excited as you are but most would feel some kind of affinity with it. It's still his flesh and blood after all. Perhaps he'll feel more for it when it's born.
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He may fear that he will be asked to give up more time than he would like to babysit? How genetically removed does he think that he might be? It's a direct line, surely :-\. Maths doesn't enter into the equation!
My paternal grandad wasn't good with his 3 boys but he adored us grandkids.
U R not over reacting but shocked at his response? Will U B knitting ;).
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What was he like with his own children? Was he close to them? How about with other people? If he's always been distant then it's not necessarily unusual, but if he normally enjoys childrens / other peoples company then there may be something else going on.
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Maybe just wait until he meets that little bundle of joy for the first time. Grand babies love their grandparents and I bet he will be won over at first glance!
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Possibly the realisation and confirmation of old age once we become grandparents, it can come as a shock!
But soon forgotten about once the children arrive and life goes on its merry way.
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Thx ladies, he was the perfect, doting father, thats what worries me.....
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Leave it a while then ask what his worries might be? Is he not becoming emotionally involved in case something happens to the pregnancy/birth process? By then he will have had time to evaluate his feelings. Men ::)
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My DH wanted children, then went off the idea of having children when I was pregnant! Too late then! It wasn’t easy for me. He wasn’t going to stay with me during labour. A colleague told him he could kiss goodbye to our marriage if he didn’t. He did support me and our daughter wrapped him round her finger from the moment she was born and hes still there 40 years on. He went through a similar reluctance before our first grandchild was born. My daughter and I both laughed at him and foretold that he would be hooked. We were very right. He adores all his grandkids.
I think his feelings are not uncommon, though maybe a bit extreme before the birth of our daughter. I put that down to the fact he hadn’t had a father of grandfather. The reality of the baby made all his fears and feelings disappear.
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Thx ladies, he was the perfect, doting father, thats what worries me.....
Then i doubt that he is saying the same about a grandchild to your daughter which may matter more.
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Anxiety surges? Fears?
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Has the situation improved any?