Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => New Members => Topic started by: Beans on June 19, 2023, 02:35:33 AM
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Hi everyone, this looks like a wonderful forum/resource. Thank you to the people running it, the mods and everyone sharing their experiences. The posts I’ve been reading (before gathering the courage to post this) have been really helpful, it’s comforting to see I’m not alone.
I’m 51y.o. and (hopefully) 3 months away from that 12 month mark of no periods (n.b. I have fibroids that make my periods hellish). I’ve been on this peri/menopause roller coaster since late 2018, although the anxiety attacks and fairly debilitating/personality-changing, generalised anxiety started around 2015. I also already had anxiety disorders, major depression & insomnia issues before this started so, hoo boy. My roller coaster has been more of a scary all-the-way kind of ride tho, rather than up & down. I’m scared all the time, really struggling.
I’m repeating other posters in saying I wish I’d been warned about how bad peri/menopause can get, although I know it differs for everyone. It’s been brutal, although I’m pretty sure I also had long covid from March 2020, which made matters much worse, as my body started failing in ways that I don’t think were perimenopause-normal.
I haven’t been able to take HRT, mainly b/c of the uterine fibroids. The synthetic estrogen would continue to make them grow & my already very large uterus is causing GI issues. I was meant to have a hysterectomy in early 2021 but severe neuropathic pain (that had me in the Emergency Dept twice) & a weight crash (fell to 41kg) put paid to that. It’s a long story but I’m mostly no longer in pain thanks to Amitriptyline. I’m now too scared to attempt surgery b/c it carries a (return of) neuropathic pain risk & I’m told Amitriptyline doesn’t always work. And nope nope nope *hides under table*, I’m not risking going back to living with chronic pain. I’m pinning my hopes on the fibroids shrinking as the estrogen falls away.
Sorry, I’m good at rabbiting on, and whinging :). It’s lovely to meet you all, & I hope everyone’s doing ok.
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Hello Beans,
:welcomemm:
You've been through so much already, and please don't apologise, you're not rabbiting on or whinging at all.
Keep talking to us, that's what this forum is for!!
A lot of ladies on here, like myself have anxiety disorders and I also have depression so I can totally relate to how you feel.
My hubby has chronic pain and it's horrendous.
Its a shame you can't take hrt, but I'm sure you'll find some useful information on here.
Take care xxx
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Hi discogirl, thank you so much :)
Oh no your poor hubby, I’m so sorry :'(, I have so much sympathy and respect for people who live with chronic pain, it must be beyond awful. My pdoc referred me to a pain clinic at the start of it all & I freaked out when I found out it was to teach me how to live with the pain rather than fix it lol. I don’t know what I would have done if the Amitriptyline hadn’t worked.
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Hello Beans. Welcome to the forum. I too wish I knew all about peri before it happened to me. You have such a lot to deal with but thankfully the amitriptyline provides some relief for you. :)
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Hello Beans. Welcome to the forum. I too wish I knew all about peri before it happened to me. You have such a lot to deal with but thankfully the amitriptyline provides some relief for you. :)
Hi flossie :) thank you.
Yep I wish menopause was talked about more, I had no idea what was happening to me, I thought I was losing my mind. I think knowing the cause makes a huge difference. And yep, Amitriptyline is the best med-invention ever.
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Hi Beans
Welcome hunni. Ahh its just so awful isn't it especially when we are all so in the dark about it all.
I too suffer depression on and off and have for years with anxiety issues. So found it very scary when the panic attacks and out of the blue anxiety struck in peri. Your so right in it changing your personality. You are not alone hunni this forum is fantastic as so many ladies relate to what I have been going thru. You sound like you have been thru so much bless you. Its a shame you can't take HRT as that seems to have helped most of my symptoms.
Maybe your GP could prescribe beta blockers to have with anxiety surges? They have helped me in the past and many other ladies on here.
Take care and post whenever you like xxxxx
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Hi Beans
Welcome hunni. Ahh its just so awful isn't it especially when we are all so in the dark about it all.
I too suffer depression on and off and have for years with anxiety issues. So found it very scary when the panic attacks and out of the blue anxiety struck in peri. Your so right in it changing your personality. You are not alone hunni this forum is fantastic as so many ladies relate to what I have been going thru. You sound like you have been thru so much bless you. Its a shame you can't take HRT as that seems to have helped most of my symptoms.
Maybe your GP could prescribe beta blockers to have with anxiety surges? They have helped me in the past and many other ladies on here.
Take care and post whenever you like xxxxx
Hi losingtheplot :) Gosh everyone’s so lovely here. I think your username sums up the experience well lol. I was thinking I should’ve called myself climbingupthewalls or whereismymind. Or maybe dontpanic, although I wouldn’t have known how to take my own advice.
I had absolutely no idea what I was in for, or what was happening, all my symptoms (depression, anxiety, insomnia) went skyward. I was looking forward to the periods stopping but didn’t know there was such a cost. Women are so stoic. I wonder how older women in high vis positions cope. I feel like a completely different person to the one I was before 2015.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through also. Yep I’m sort of stuck with not being able to take the HRT, although I was a little scared of progesterone anyway (when the periods were still happening) as I had a very bad experience with a strong contraceptive pill (multiplying my depression) when I was younger. My gyno has prescribed Black Cohosh but I’ve yet to muster up the courage to take it (scared of certain side effects).
Re beta blockers, thank you for the tip, I haven’t heard of them before, they sound perfect (I think I’m 99% adrenaline). I have regular appointments with my GP (for sleep meds) so I’ll ask her at the next one. Thank you! Xx
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:welcomemm: It's The Change - does what is says on the tin and although natural, some symptoms can be horrendous and/or difficult to deal with.
R U State-side? My GP prescribed Propranolol to ease early morning anxiety surges and they certainly helped for many years. I too have depression controlled in the main by medication as well as intense anxiety for which I have an emergency tablet.
Let us know how you get on.
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:welcomemm: It's The Change - does what is says on the tin and although natural, some symptoms can be horrendous and/or difficult to deal with.
R U State-side? My GP prescribed Propranolol to ease early morning anxiety surges and they certainly helped for many years. I too have depression controlled in the main by medication as well as intense anxiety for which I have an emergency tablet.
Let us know how you get on.
Thanks CLKD :), Ack, re the Change, nature is scary lol. It’s like a horror movie ‘The Change’, scarier than The Shining haha.
State side, is that the US? I’m from Australia, long way away :), about 2hrs from Sydney.
Brilliant thank you! re Propranolol, writing all this down for my next GP appointment.
I’m so glad the antidepressants (ADs) work for you. They haven’t worked for me unfortunately since around 1999. Been on every class of AD & in some cases every med within the class. Also tried ECT in 2002 & CBT also with no luck. Although it’s been years since I’ve been on a high enough AD dose, for long enough for it to help, so I’m still holding out hope.
I’m also coming off an antipsychotic (that I’ve been on for sleep & appetite) that I’m hoping will help with the depression as they’ve always had a bad effect on my mood. I’m trying to increase the Amitriptyline to an antidepressant dose, but it’s very constipating & I’ve had a problem with bowel blockages since my digestive system started failing on me (since March 2020). I’m taking Macrogol for that but I don’t like relying on it bc it inhibits protein absorption.
The beta blockers sound perfect, I desperately need help with the anxiety attacks (I have no escape & can only pace or rock back & forth & it freaks my poor hubby out). Thank you again, I’ll keep you updated. Xx
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:bighug: I know all about the pacing. Also in the 1970s my Dad was prescribed a blue pill that begins with an "A" - name escapes - OK Ativan ::). Gets there eventually. It is used as a pre-med in some UK Hospitals. It made Dad agitated and I walked miles across the Fen keeping him company. No conversation. Striding out like he was trying to burn the drug from his system :'(
Could you try upping the Amitriptyline a few times a week on top of your daily dose? Rather than all at once to give the bowels a time to adjust?
R U withdrawing the anti-psychotic under supervision? Let us know how you get on, from Down Under ;)
This too will pass. My problem is that I want a cure yesterday >:( ::)
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Hi Beans, I recently read there was a study done in 2019 regarding the use of vitamin D3 to reduce fibroids. I assume you use high factor sun cream so are your Vit D levels low? Might be worth trying.
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Hello Beans and welcome to the forum.
I am also familiar with the bumpy ride of the menopause.
I had a fairly easy peri meno and most of my symptoms started when I had been one year period free.
Perhaps for some ladies the main adjustments come sooner rather than later?
My trusty Meno book mentions that the range of symptoms also varies and I think this is true. For example I have never had joint pain even though it is a common problem but mood swings continue to plague me unfortunately.
I am sorry to learn that you have pain issues. A neighbour with sciatica was hopeful when referred to a pain clinic but he felt like thumping the nurse when asked 'What is pain?'.
I assume that you have checked and there are no other treatments for reducing fibroids so that you can give HRT a try. I suppose even a D&C or some kind of ablation would be too risky?
I hope you can find a way to cope with your symptoms. Your fibroids are likely to shrink when you are post meno and you may have more options re HRT if needed.
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
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:bighug: I know all about the pacing. Also in the 1970s my Dad was prescribed a blue pill that begins with an "A" - name escapes - OK Ativan ::). Gets there eventually. It is used as a pre-med in some UK Hospitals. It made Dad agitated and I walked miles across the Fen keeping him company. No conversation. Striding out like he was trying to burn the drug from his system :'(
Could you try upping the Amitriptyline a few times a week on top of your daily dose? Rather than all at once to give the bowels a time to adjust?
R U withdrawing the anti-psychotic under supervision? Let us know how you get on, from Down Under ;)
This too will pass. My problem is that I want a cure yesterday >:( ::)
Your poor dad :'(.
Agitation is terrible, not being able to control it or escape from it. It’s also like torture when it’s coupled with severe sleep deprivation, you can’t lie down bc you’re so agitated, but you’re so exhausted you can’t stand it - I went through that for over a year (getting 1-2 hrs sleep, off the back of the previous year of only about 3-4 hours), & ended up in a public mental ward.
My shrink then threw everything at getting my brain to sleep. That’s why I’m on the antipsychotic, Chlorpromazine (Largactil), it’s extremely sedating (on top of two sleeping pills which I take in staggered doses at night & also the amitriptyline is v. sedating).
Yep, my GP is supervising my med changes. I’m reducing the Largactil slowly, & so far so good *fingers crossed*. N.b. My shrink emigrated overseas last year & I’m not good with therapy (it makes me anxious talking about myself on a deeper level) so my GP agreed to oversee my meds. I have the best GP in the world, she’s wonderful.
I have no patience either lol, I need everything fixed the week before yesterday!
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Hi Beans, I recently read there was a study done in 2019 regarding the use of vitamin D3 to reduce fibroids. I assume you use high factor sun cream so are your Vit D levels low? Might be worth trying.
Oh wow, that’s brilliant, re vitamin D3 & fibroids. Yep, I’ve had issues with low VitD levels in the past. I inherited my red headed Granny’s skin - only burn or freckle in the sun so I tend to avoid it too much. I know VitD is thought to also have a connection to depression & it’s also winter here so I should probably be on supplements anyway. I’ll definitely try it. Thank you for that.
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Hello Beans and welcome to the forum.
I am also familiar with the bumpy ride of the menopause.
I had a fairly easy peri meno and most of my symptoms started when I had been one year period free.
Perhaps for some ladies the main adjustments come sooner rather than later?
My trusty Meno book mentions that the range of symptoms also varies and I think this is true. For example I have never had joint pain even though it is a common problem but mood swings continue to plague me unfortunately.
I am sorry to learn that you have pain issues. A neighbour with sciatica was hopeful when referred to a pain clinic but he felt like thumping the nurse when asked 'What is pain?'.
I assume that you have checked and there are no other treatments for reducing fibroids so that you can give HRT a try. I suppose even a D&C or some kind of ablation would be too risky?
I hope you can find a way to cope with your symptoms. Your fibroids are likely to shrink when you are post meno and you may have more options re HRT if needed.
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
Hi Kathleen, thank you :).
I know, everyone’s so different, my older sister barely noticed the change at all, although she is on HRT.
What is pain? Lol He should have thumped her as a demonstration haha (err joking, a metaphorical thump). I’m not in pain anymore, thank goodness. I need to build a monument to Amitriptyline bc it’s a life saver. I’m not strong enough to cope with chronic pain & I have such a deep respect & sorrow for anyone who has to live with it.
Re alternatives to the hysterectomy for the fibroids - my gyno did talk to me about D&C I think (the scraping procedure) but ruled it out because she said it can have some scary side effects. I need to have another appointment with her bc I have a polyp that needs removing. I’ve been putting it off bc the depression has been so bad & it’s such a long hike to Sydney (we moved out of Sydney & to the highlands last year), but I will ask her about the ablation. Thank you again, & hope you’re doing well.
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Hi, just an update and also wanted to thank everyone for the really warm welcome and for all your tips. I’m going through a bit of a traumatic situation atm (that I think would have someone with a robust nervous system feeling frayed), so my anxiety is a bit out of control & I’m really grateful for the support & advice.
I called my GP this arvo & spoke to her colleague & she prescribed the beta blocker (propranolol) you guys suggested. I’ve just taken one. I’m checking back in with my GP on Thursday. I also bought the Vit D3, I’m going to start that tomorrow, make sure I’m ok with the beta blacker first, so I can distinguish any possible side effects. Thank you thank you!
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Hi, just an update and also wanted to thank everyone for the really warm welcome and for all your tips. I’m going through a bit of a traumatic situation atm (that I think would have someone with a robust nervous system feeling frayed), so my anxiety is a bit out of control & I’m really grateful for the support & advice.
I called my GP this arvo & spoke to her colleague & she prescribed the beta blocker (propranolol) you guys suggested. I’ve just taken one. I’m checking back in with my GP on Thursday. I also bought the Vit D3, I’m going to start that tomorrow, make sure I’m ok with the beta blacker first, so I can distinguish any possible side effects. Thank you thank you!
Thank you for the update. So sorry to hear you are going through a traumatic situation. If you wish to, you could post about it in the Private Lives section then we could support you. No worries if you prefer not to though. :)
It sounds like your chat with your GP went well. I hope the propranolol helps.
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Thanks Flossie :). Thank you for letting me know, I might venture to the Private Lives section in a few days. I’m a little raw at the moment tho, I think, trying not to think about the typhoon in the room.
I’ve been started on a very low dose of the beta blockers (I’m kind of a delicate flower with side effects). I’m hoping they help. I’m also going to ask my GP on Thu if I can take a less constipating antidepressant, that mixes ok with the Amitriptyline.
It’s night here & my Apple Watch tells me I’ve 303% of my exercise goal for the day with all the pacing, so there’s that haha :)
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Ahh thank you for the update. So pleased your Gp appointment went well. Big hugs hunni. Like Flossie says if you do need support for other things you are going thru then we are here to listen, support and be here. Totally get if you don't want to though hunni xxxxx
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Ahh thank you for the update. So pleased your Gp appointment went well. Big hugs hunni. Like Flossie says if you do need support for other things you are going thru then we are here to listen, support and be here. Totally get if you don't want to though hunni xxxxx
Thanks losingtheplot, you guys are so sweet :). Sorry been having a rough week, on a new antidepressant now tho so *fingers crossed*.
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Ahh thank you for the update. So pleased your Gp appointment went well. Big hugs hunni. Like Flossie says if you do need support for other things you are going thru then we are here to listen, support and be here. Totally get if you don't want to though hunni xxxxx
Thanks losingtheplot, you guys are so sweet :). Sorry been having a rough week, on a new antidepressant now tho so *fingers crossed*.
Hi hunni big hugs take one day at a time Xxxx you will get there Ads can take alittle time to work which Ads are you on?
Please post if you need support hunni we are all here to help xxx
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Ahh thank you for the update. So pleased your Gp appointment went well. Big hugs hunni. Like Flossie says if you do need support for other things you are going thru then we are here to listen, support and be here. Totally get if you don't want to though hunni xxxxx
Thanks losingtheplot, you guys are so sweet :). Sorry been having a rough week, on a new antidepressant now tho so *fingers crossed*.
Hi hunni big hugs take one day at a time Xxxx you will get there Ads can take alittle time to work which Ads are you on?
Please post if you need support hunni we are all here to help xxx
Thanks :). I’ve just started Mirtazapine (AD) & have come off the Largactil (antipsychotic - originally prescribed bc I was suffering from severe sleep deprivation & my shrink said it was the most sedating med he could throw at it). Mirtazapine is (like Largactil) sedating & appetite-inducing (something else I need help with).
I’ve been on Mirtazapine a couple of times in the past, awhile back, after the ADs stopped working & I was just cycling through all the AD categories (down to the MAOIs). I have this hope that the ADs failed bc I was on a very strong contraceptive pill for over a decade that worsened my depression. It’s just a theory, but I’m keeping my hopes up. The Amitriptyline I’m on (also an AD, altho too constipating to increase to an AD-therapeutic dose) has worked wonders for my neuropathic pain so hopefully the combo will work for my depression *fingers crossed*.
Re that ADs take time to work, I’m trying to be patient, but I’m so very impatient by nature, eep :-\ *taps nails*.
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Thanks :). I’ve just started Mirtazapine (AD) & have come off the Largactil (antipsychotic - originally prescribed bc I was suffering from severe sleep deprivation & my shrink said it was the most sedating med he could throw at it). Mirtazapine is (like Largactil) sedating & appetite-inducing (something else I need help with).
I’ve been on Mirtazapine a couple of times in the past, awhile back, after the ADs stopped working & I was just cycling through all the AD categories (down to the MAOIs). I have this hope that the ADs failed bc I was on a very strong contraceptive pill for over a decade that worsened my depression. It’s just a theory, but I’m keeping my hopes up. The Amitriptyline I’m on (also an AD, altho too constipating to increase to an AD-therapeutic dose) has worked wonders for my neuropathic pain so hopefully the combo will work for my depression *fingers crossed*.
Re that ADs take time to work, I’m trying to be patient, but I’m so very impatient by nature, eep :-\ *taps nails*.
I find magnesium supplements help with mood, sleep and also constipation. The cheaper the magnesium, the better it will be for tackling constipation, like magnesium oxide.
I'm on long term opiate medication, so I know a thing or two about constipation, lol. I've even been desperate enough to deliberately put myself into withdrawal, just to shift it!
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Thanks :). I’ve just started Mirtazapine (AD) & have come off the Largactil (antipsychotic - originally prescribed bc I was suffering from severe sleep deprivation & my shrink said it was the most sedating med he could throw at it). Mirtazapine is (like Largactil) sedating & appetite-inducing (something else I need help with).
I’ve been on Mirtazapine a couple of times in the past, awhile back, after the ADs stopped working & I was just cycling through all the AD categories (down to the MAOIs). I have this hope that the ADs failed bc I was on a very strong contraceptive pill for over a decade that worsened my depression. It’s just a theory, but I’m keeping my hopes up. The Amitriptyline I’m on (also an AD, altho too constipating to increase to an AD-therapeutic dose) has worked wonders for my neuropathic pain so hopefully the combo will work for my depression *fingers crossed*.
Re that ADs take time to work, I’m trying to be patient, but I’m so very impatient by nature, eep :-\ *taps nails*.
I find magnesium supplements help with mood, sleep and also constipation. The cheaper the magnesium, the better it will be for tackling constipation, like magnesium oxide.
I'm on long term opiate medication, so I know a thing or two about constipation, lol. I've even been desperate enough to deliberately put myself into withdrawal, just to shift it!
Oh my goodness, thank you for the tip! I used to take Magnesium, years ago, & it was the only vitamin/mineral that’s ever really noticeably worked for my anxiety, but I’ve been avoiding it bc I thought it caused constipation *massive facepalm*. I’ve just looked it up & yes it’s the other way around. Thank you, I’m a dolt, I’m def going to get some.
Oof, re the long term opiate medication, I hear you, it’s awful isn’t it? It’s also incredibly scary when things get properly blocked/impacted. Macrogol & the occasional stimulant (Bisacodyl) have been my friends in the last three years since this started.
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I wanted a cure yesterday: so depressed at times that I crawled around the house :'(
Hormones can certainly alter our moods. The National Association for Pre-menstrual Syndrome [NAPS], UK, gave me lots of good advice, mainly about eating every 3 hours to stop those awful gut surges when the body needs energy which 4me = panic attacks.
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I wanted a cure yesterday: so depressed at times that I crawled around the house :'(
Hormones can certainly alter our moods. The National Association for Pre-menstrual Syndrome [NAPS], UK, gave me lots of good advice, mainly about eating every 3 hours to stop those awful gut surges when the body needs energy which 4me = panic attacks.
:'( I’m so sorry *many hugs*. Before I started the Mirtazapine, I had increased the Amitriptyline, & then had to reverse course bc the constipation got so bad & my depression significantly worsened as a result (which is a good sign I think, means the ADs are working). I’ve been stooped over & rocking back & forth for the last three days. The depression & anxiety sort of bear down on me so I can’t stand up straight. I have a guy coming to help me with the garden tomorrow & I’ll have to hold myself up like a normal person :-\ *takes deep breaths*. I really was in the worst position for tackling perimenopause when it started, I was already struggling with depression, anxiety, chronic insomnia at a level that I thought couldn’t get worse :'(
Re NAPS, gosh you have some terrific resources in the UK, that looks excellent (reading thru their guidelines)
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Ahh thank you for the update. So pleased your Gp appointment went well. Big hugs hunni. Like Flossie says if you do need support for other things you are going thru then we are here to listen, support and be here. Totally get if you don't want to though hunni xxxxx
Thanks losingtheplot, you guys are so sweet :). Sorry been having a rough week, on a new antidepressant now tho so *fingers crossed*.
Hi hunni big hugs take one day at a time Xxxx you will get there Ads can take alittle time to work which Ads are you on?
Please post if you need support hunni we are all here to help xxx
Thanks :). I’ve just started Mirtazapine (AD) & have come off the Largactil (antipsychotic - originally prescribed bc I was suffering from severe sleep deprivation & my shrink said it was the most sedating med he could throw at it). Mirtazapine is (like Largactil) sedating & appetite-inducing (something else I need help with).
I’ve been on Mirtazapine a couple of times in the past, awhile back, after the ADs stopped working & I was just cycling through all the AD categories (down to the MAOIs). I have this hope that the ADs failed bc I was on a very strong contraceptive pill for over a decade that worsened my depression. It’s just a theory, but I’m keeping my hopes up. The Amitriptyline I’m on (also an AD, altho too constipating to increase to an AD-therapeutic dose) has worked wonders for my neuropathic pain so hopefully the combo will work for my depression *fingers crossed*.
Re that ADs take time to work, I’m trying to be patient, but I’m so very impatient by nature, eep :-\ *taps nails*.
I really hope they help you and great news about the neuropathic pain being helped by the Ads.
I too can be impatient so I totally get that just think everyday you take an pill its getting in your system more and hopefully you feel the positive effects soon xxx