Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Humour => The funny side of menopause => Topic started by: CLKD on June 14, 2023, 05:32:45 PM
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1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
Which one is YOUR favorite?
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17. Definitely 17. For me it's more having the picture of an object of a name in my head and twenty minutes materially be asking the word and shouting it out. That's a win as far as I am concerned these days! ;D
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Number 6 for me.
I like to pretend I can remember something I'm talking about, so I hedge my bets!!
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A lot of these made me laugh out loud.
For me it's toss up between 5 and 11
Although I can "stay up late" I've never been a "stay out late" kind of person even in my fun-bobby youth. But now I've found myself saying "why don't we go out for an early tea?" :o What happened ? ;D
But number 11 probably hits the spot for me at the moment. When did I become so anti-social? ;D
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Number 19 made me laugh 😂
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3,7 ,12 & 16 for me ;D
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My choice this morning. 2morrow it might all change ;D
14 and 19 would be first to mind!
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
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12 and 16
Wake up 2-3hrs before OH and hope my knees don’t wake him as I creep downstairs! ;D
Oh, and definitely 19 too! ;D
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;D
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Definitely 3 and 5 for me ;D ;D
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11 this morning!
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I'm getting number 17 on a t-shirt for my husband.
Some of those are actually quite funny
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:lol:
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17 and 14 for definite ;D
I'm always being told off for interrupting... and listening to other peoples conversations ;D ;D ;D
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I have a habit of joining in with conversations, i.e. when in a cafe ....... 'just like your Grandma' - apparently :rofl:
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Oh dear. It's an 8 day today.
Everyone and everything just stay out of my way.... Except that 1\3 of a cupcake I ate. That could stay.... Will try NOT to be the Bitch From Hell tomorrow. But am still not apologising for today. ::)
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Go Girl :lol:
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#6 is me.
What a chuckle I had reading the list and I fact almost all I can relate too ;D
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Welcome on board Saltandsniff72
There are several funnies to be read - do be aware of The Strange Woman in My House ........ or yours, or theirs :D
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9. And 9. And 9.... Why am I dealing with idiots all day long? And hope they don't feel the same about me. ;)
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:bouncing: