Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Kathleen on January 03, 2023, 06:09:18 PM
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Hello ladies.
I was thinking of starting my own little campaign of Cry January lol.
My troublesome mood swings have continued into the New Year( no surprise there) so I wondered if I should try and embrace the emotional chaos and allow myself to feel the full extent of the low moods instead of fretting about them.
I have other moods as well of course and this morning I felt cheerful and optimistic until lunchtime when a horrible sensation of doom and nervousness came over me. This lasted for about an hour and then I felt more normal again.
My latest regime of half a 1mcg sachet of Sandrena gel daily has resolved the vaginal dryness which was sneaking back when I was only using a quarter of a Sachet. I have also seen a return of a few sweats but these seems to be cold sweats with excess sweating for some reason. Basically I am still on an emotional rollercoaster and I am beyond tired of it.
I have battled through many of the physical symptoms of the menopause, some were mild whilst others didn't bother me at all but I worry for my sanity when my moods change so much in the course of a day.
Sorry to prattle on ladies but I know you will understand and not judge me which is so important.
I have an appointment with Newson Health later this month and I will update the forum when I can. In the meantime Cry January it is!
Wishing you all well ladies.
K.
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Sending lots of hugs Kathleen
Really hope your appointment goes well but pending that, you cry if you want to but seize the happy times when they happen. :hug: :hug: :hug:
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Please do not apologise for your post. You are not prattling on. One therapist I had told me, we can often feel low or down and rather then to keep trying to block it out, it helps to allow ourselves to feel and acknowledge the low mood. I think you allowing yourself to cry and to feel is healthy. You said you felt better this morning so perhaps it will help to remind yourself you can get back to that feeling. Yes, you will have times you feel low but it will pass.
It is wonderful the vaginal dryness has improved. That is such an awful feeling.
I hope your appointment goes well but in the meantime the forum is here for you.
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Oh Kathleen,
I'm sad to read your post but I can identify with the feelings of when is this going to be over (and I've just started peri proper!).
I did the MBSR course a few years ago to help me deal with the physical and mental angst of not finding the right thyroid dose for 8.5 years and we were taught to go with our feelings and sensations (both physical and mental).
We were taught how to say "Hello sadness, irritation, anger, etc." and lay out the welcome mat and just observe. You have to be still to see what happens, just sit with it all. Quite often, the feelings dissipate, or aren't quite so full on when you actually go right up and feel them.
But... I've been having a return of the horrible Big Dippers (night sweats accompanied by rolling nausea and anxiety) and low mood and to be honest, sometimes I really just don't want to sit and acknowledge any of it... The only thing that gets me through the night horrors is gulping in air and repeating in my head, this will pass, this will pass...
And then a new day dawns, and I haven't corked it in the night time, and lo and behold I'll see a wee robin or something and feel joy!
Now I'm off to hug a tree (joke).
I hope you get your HRT regime tweaked during your appointment. Fingers crossed.
We're all in this together, and we'll all come out to some sort of acceptable other side too!
xxx
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Hello ladies
Thank you all so much for your kind responses.
I awoke jittery with a headache this morning but I feel that my mood is lifting now so we'll see how that goes lol.
Limpy - thank you for the hug and I will certainly take your advice.
Flossieteacake - I am sure that your therapist is right and thank you for passing that information on. I will do my best to 'go with the flow '.
Keep On Swimming - I am not familiar with the MBSR course so I might try and find out more about it. As with the advice of the other ladies your comments make complete sense.
I also understand with the frustration of it all so you have my sympathy with your Big Dippers!
Thanks again ladies for being there, it's much appreciated.
Wishing you all well.
K.
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Hi Kathleen, sorry to hear you’re still struggling with mood swings. They are the worst. I had quit HRT for a while but it was the bleak mood that drove me back to trying it again…I felt generally blah and flat, and then from day 21 of my cycle to my period I felt so bleak and hopeless, even dressing and showering was a chore. I couldn’t function. Now I’m 5 weeks into Estradot again and the mood swings have all but vanished - just normal fluctuations if the weather is rubbish or I’ve had a rough day, but nothing like the massive swing into doom and gloom. Obviously everyone is different but I hope you get a good solution or at least something to try at your Newson appointment. I really had lost hope but I can say that there is light on the other side. Sending love.
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Hello Peri 2022
Thank you so much for your comments.
I agree that these changes in mood are very different from the normal ups and downs of life.
Your post gives me hope that there is a solution and I am truly looking forward to my NH appointment!
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
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Nope. I don't drink much anyway so not much point.
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Kathleen, wishing you well with your NH appointment and I'm sure they can help you feel more on an even keel.
I'm usually ok since I've been on evorel sequi, but we are lowering the oestrogen slightly and on top of that my best friend broke up with his wife in dec, he's like family to me as a long term friend and I've been so worried for him and also my mother needing (or wanting) continual input and support. I feel no one is looking after me though, well it's a fact, so I'm also doing the cry January at the moment.
I look forward to the better weather, hope that will help us all a bit.
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Hello KaraShannon
Thank you for your kind wishes and I am looking forward to my NH appointment which seems a bit sad in itself lol.
I am sorry that you are having these extra stresses and I know what you mean about feeling that no one is looking after you.
I agree about the better weather and now when I walk anywhere I do it at a brisk pace to try and lighten my mood. I am also a fan of naps if I feel very tired.
I hope your situation improves soon and wishing you well.
K.
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I agree about the better weather and now when I walk anywhere I do it at a brisk pace to try and lighten my mood. I am also a fan of naps if I feel very tired.
I hope your situation improves soon and wishing you well.
K.
Thanks Kathleen
And you are right about walking and also naps. Sometimes we have to take that time. So many of us go through this it's got to be normal, but sometimes I think we may feel like we are the only ones when we are napping or not as functional as we think we should be. But we are not the only ones and no doubt we will have times when we are firing on all cylinders again.
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Hello again ladies.
KaraShannon As you say this transition is normal and I wonder if sometimes we make it even harder by expecting too much of ourselves.
Pro Tim Spector has made a list of small achievable goals that could improve our well being over time. He has listed them on his Zoe YouTube channel and apparently you can download them as an App and track your results over a twelve week period. I already practice most of them but the idea of earlier bedtimes looks appealing and this might help stabilise my moods so I plan to give it a try. I also wonder if the time frame is significant and means that even small changes yield big results given enough time.
I won't be using the App but I have made a note of his suggestions in my diary. The list is as follows if you are interested :- Eat more plants, about thirty every week
Go to bed thirty minutes earlier
Exercise twenty minutes a day
Reduce alcohol
Have a deep breathing session every day
Do daily stretches
Eat in a twelve hour window
Any and all of the above have benefits so there is nothing to lose by giving them a try.
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
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Hi Kathleen,
I can totally relate to your experience with crying. I’ve been crying :'( since I woke up in the middle of the night.
I think in my case, I feel a level of guilt as I feel like I have no reason to cry. :'(This is mainly to do with how I was raised and we were not allowed to show emotions in our family. It was very black-and-white thinking and so I feel guilty for crying. I try to remind myself as hard as it is, my body is trying to release something and it’s definitely the hormones. CBT helps..
I remember you helped me with Sandrena gel questions when I was at absolute rock bottom .. thank you so much. i’m still not where I need to be Im with NH too, I just want you to remember that even on your lowest days and all of our bad days that we are not alone.
Sending love to you and anyone struggling today xx
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Hi Kathleen,
I can totally relate to your experience with crying. I’ve been crying :'( since I woke up in the middle of the night.
I think in my case, I feel a level of guilt as I feel like I have no reason to cry. :'(This is mainly to do with how I was raised and we were not allowed to show emotions in our family. It was very black-and-white thinking and so I feel guilty for crying. I try to remind myself as hard as it is, my body is trying to release something and it’s definitely the hormones. CBT helps..
I remember you helped me with Sandrena gel questions when I was at absolute rock bottom .. thank you so much. i’m still not where I need to be Im with NH too, I just want you to remember that even on your lowest days and all of our bad days that we are not alone.
Sending love to you and anyone struggling today xx
Angela, your post really touched me. I can relate to growing up were you are not allowed to show your feelings or to cry and it really is so damaging. Please remember that crying is your bodies way of stopping the sorrow from building up and overtaking you. It is healthy to cry and you are allowed to cry. When you say you have no reason to cry, there does not have to be a reason. Your body cries because it needs to. Some people even cry when they are really happy so please remind yourself that you can cry and nobody can make you feel bad for that any more. Sending you a hug. :)
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Hello again ladies.
Angelasurrey and Flossieteacake - I can relate to both posts. I suspect many of us were made uncomfortable with crying when we were younger, my family certainly weren't comfortable showing strong emotions.
Yet again I am on the edge of tears today and I can't figure out if this is a product of low mood or the cause of it, I also have no real reason to cry.
I have an appointment soon with NH but I'm worried that I won't hear anything new. I have been with them since the beginning of 2020 and I have been on high, medium and now a low dose of Oestrogen, plus two types of progesterone and Androfeme. Hopefully Dr Sarah Ball will have some other suggestions up her sleeve. Fingers crossed.
My friend who has trained as a therapist tells me that it is okay to cry but these moods feel so alien and imposed, they take over for a while and then disappear, until the next time of course. Trying to stay sane is exhausting.
I will update the forum after my appointment as promised.
Wishing you both well and take care.
K.
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Hello again ladies.
Angelasurrey and Flossieteacake - I can relate to both posts. I suspect many of us were made uncomfortable with crying when we were younger, my family certainly weren't comfortable showing strong emotions.
Yet again I am on the edge of tears today and I can't figure out if this is a product of low mood or the cause of it, I also have no real reason to cry.
I have an appointment soon with NH but I'm worried that I won't hear anything new. I have been with them since the beginning of 2020 and I have been on high, medium and now a low dose of Oestrogen, plus two types of progesterone and Androfeme. Hopefully Dr Sarah Ball will have some other suggestions up her sleeve. Fingers crossed.
My friend who has trained as a therapist tells me that it is okay to cry but these moods feel so alien and imposed, they take over for a while and then disappear, until the next time of course. Trying to stay sane is exhausting.
I will update the forum after my appointment as promised.
Wishing you both well and take care.
K.
I am so sorry to hear today is another difficult day for you Kathleen. I really hope your appointment goes well.
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Hello again ladies.
Flossieteacake - thank you for your kind words. As Sarah Ball is also a GP I will ask her if she thinks that my meno experience has caused me to become mentally ill. My remaining symptoms, including the mood swings are listed as hormonal and they certainly feel that way but after all this time ( last period in 2010, HRT since 2013 and now age 66) shouldn't things have settled by now?
I hope to get something positive out of the appointment as I need the hope lol. Plus it costs a fortune!
Thanks again and take care.
K.
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Hello again ladies.
Flossieteacake - thank you for your kind words. As Sarah Ball is also a GP I will ask her if she thinks that my meno experience has caused me to become mentally ill. My remaining symptoms, including the mood swings are listed as hormonal and they certainly feel that way but after all this time ( last period in 2010, HRT since 2013 and now age 66) shouldn't things have settled by now?
I hope to get something positive out of the appointment as I need the hope lol. Plus it costs a fortune!
Thanks again and take care.
K.
That is a good idea. I wish you luck. Take care too. :)
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Hello again ladies and an update for anyone interested.
I have just had an appointment with Dr Sarah Ball of Newson Health. The results are a bit mixed actually and she tells me that she is leaving NH soon so any future appointments will be directed to a colleague.
We established that my current HRT regime (half a 1 mcg sachet of Sandrena gel daily plus a 50mcg pessary of Cyclogest alternate nights) is controlling my physical symptoms but is not addressing the emotional ones. I didn't want to increase the gel and risk a return of breast pain and bleeding so instead she recommended a psychological approach. She is writing to my GPs and I will contact them shortly to see what they suggest. Off the top of my head I'm guessing it will be CBT but I could be wrong. In the meantime I will continue with my HRT and I will schedule a follow up appointment with NH in six months.
Dr Ball also mentioned a company called LifecodeGX who can analyse your DNA and suggest lifestyle changes that can improve your health. Apparently some people struggle to metabolise oestrogen effectively so medications need to be tweaked. I said that I will look at their website and I mention it here for anyone interested.
So ladies no magic bullet or special potion just keep taking the drugs, do the best you can and see you in six months (with your current credit card of course). Ho hum and on we go!
Wishing you all well ladies and take care.
K.
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Hello again ladies and an update for anyone interested.
I have just had an appointment with Dr Sarah Ball of Newson Health. The results are a bit mixed actually and she tells me that she is leaving NH soon so any future appointments will be directed to a colleague.
We established that my current HRT regime (half a 1 mcg sachet of Sandrena gel daily plus a 50mcg pessary of Cyclogest alternate nights) is controlling my physical symptoms but is not addressing the emotional ones. I didn't want to increase the gel and risk a return of breast pain and bleeding so instead she recommended a psychological approach. She is writing to my GPs and I will contact them shortly to see what they suggest. Off the top of my head I'm guessing it will be CBT but I could be wrong. In the meantime I will continue with my HRT and I will schedule a follow up appointment with NH in six months.
Dr Ball also mentioned a company called LifecodeGX who can analyse your DNA and suggest lifestyle changes that can improve your health. Apparently some people struggle to metabolise oestrogen effectively so medications need to be tweaked. I said that I will look at their website and I mention it here for anyone interested.
So ladies no magic bullet or special potion just keep taking the drugs, do the best you can and see you in six months (with your current credit card of course). Ho hum and on we go!
Wishing you all well ladies and take care.
K.
What a shame Dr Sarah is leaving as you seem to get on well with her. I hope the new person will be supportive.
I can understand the suggestion of CBT if it will help with coping methods. Perhaps once you see how you find that (if it is CBT) you may want more in depth therapy to see if that is helpful.
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Hello again ladies.
Flossieteacake - thank you for your supportive comments. I will stay with NH for the time being and see what the GP suggests. I am trying to keep an open mind about it all.
Thanks again and take care.
K.
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Hello again ladies and an update for anyone interested.
I have just had an appointment with Dr Sarah Ball of Newson Health. The results are a bit mixed actually and she tells me that she is leaving NH soon so any future appointments will be directed to a colleague.
We established that my current HRT regime (half a 1 mcg sachet of Sandrena gel daily plus a 50mcg pessary of Cyclogest alternate nights) is controlling my physical symptoms but is not addressing the emotional ones. I didn't want to increase the gel and risk a return of breast pain and bleeding so instead she recommended a psychological approach. She is writing to my GPs and I will contact them shortly to see what they suggest. Off the top of my head I'm guessing it will be CBT but I could be wrong. In the meantime I will continue with my HRT and I will schedule a follow up appointment with NH in six months.
Dr Ball also mentioned a company called LifecodeGX who can analyse your DNA and suggest lifestyle changes that can improve your health. Apparently some people struggle to metabolise oestrogen effectively so medications need to be tweaked. I said that I will look at their website and I mention it here for anyone interested.
So ladies no magic bullet or special potion just keep taking the drugs, do the best you can and see you in six months (with your current credit card of course). Ho hum and on we go!
Wishing you all well ladies and take care.
K.
Sorry things have been mixed with the appointment and things being difficult Kathleen. I am wondering if it might be a good thing to have a change of doctor. Not because that doctor was not good, she clearly was and you liked her, but different perspectives sometimes stumble on things.
I'm also wondering whether you might benefit for a herbal oestrogen, like red clover? You'd have to check with your doctor that it's ok, but it might be gentle enough not to bring about the physical issues, but effective enough to lift mood? I'm not taking it, I was just thinking about it as I remember it from years ago, before I was menopausal, I used to read about herbs etc.
I'm having a really bad day today. I think my period is due, my cycle hasn't stopped yet, I started hrt while still having periods, so it's possible I'm still naturally having them, they are just more regular. But I've got ringing in the ears, heart flutters, a horrible empty feeling (emotionally flat). I'm also exhausted. I'm still dealing with a close friend who's having problems, so I'm drained, but it's more than that, this is hormones. Usually it lifts the next day, I don't get two in a row of this complete flatness. But meanwhile it's just horrible.
I'm thinking of making an appointment with NH when I can justify the payment, at the moment I have to get another car, etc. But I do want to have a more thorough check over as my surgery can't cope with anything right now.
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Hi Kathleen,
I can totally relate to your experience with crying. I’ve been crying :'( since I woke up in the middle of the night.
I think in my case, I feel a level of guilt as I feel like I have no reason to cry. :'(This is mainly to do with how I was raised and we were not allowed to show emotions in our family. It was very black-and-white thinking and so I feel guilty for crying. I try to remind myself as hard as it is, my body is trying to release something and it’s definitely the hormones. CBT helps..
I remember you helped me with Sandrena gel questions when I was at absolute rock bottom .. thank you so much. i’m still not where I need to be Im with NH too, I just want you to remember that even on your lowest days and all of our bad days that we are not alone.
Sending love to you and anyone struggling today xx
Hi Angela
I'm wiped out and very flat today so this will be brief but I do care how you've been feeling. I agree with Flossieteacake that crying is normal, which I know you know, it's just the association you have with it. It's actually a biological process helping us establish equilibrium again, so I tend to look at it like that these days.
I'm feeling guilty about the mess in my house but the fatigue has taken over, lol.
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Hello KaraShannon.
Thank you for your post. I agree that a new doctor at Newson Health might be a good idea. I also appreciate the suggestion about Red Clover and I will look into it. Coincidentally a GP mentioned it to me ages ago but I didn't pursue it at the time.
You are right in that crying is important and likely beneficial but I still struggle to accept it. For some reason the thought of crying in front of people mortifies me. There is also the low mood that accompanies the crying of course and that's no fun either lol.
I hope you feel better soon and many ladies do well with private clinics including Newson Health so I wish you luck. You will certainly get a much more personalised service from them.
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
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How are you doing Kathleen?
I was glad the cold snap has eased off a bit and today actually was able to have the windows open for a decent time and air my house, which is one thing I like doing in the mornings. I also like seeing my washing on the line, haha. The little things are important. I'm finding having the weather a bit milder is helping.
Meanwhile how are you. January is nearly over :-)
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Hello again KaraShannon
Cry January is almost at an end bring on Fed Up February lol.
I spoke to my GP regarding my moods and fatigue etc and he arranged some blood tests. I collected the results on Friday and am disappointed to see that they didn't include things like Vitamin D or B12 levels which may be relevant.
I have a thread on LifecodeGx which is a company that looks at gene expression and supplementation and other ladies have used them so I might pursue that.
I am pleased that you are feeling brighter today.
Take care.
K.
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Hello again KaraShannon
Cry January is almost at an end bring on Fed Up February lol.
I spoke to my GP regarding my moods and fatigue etc and he arranged some blood tests. I collected the results on Friday and am disappointed to see that they didn't include things like Vitamin D or B12 levels which may be relevant.
Fed Up February, yes, lol
I woke up like that this morning but feeling a bit better now the sun is shining here.
Sorry your GP didn't look at other things like Vitamin D or B12. Maybe go back and ask for that? I know folate is another one that's good to check. I'm sure you know this.
You're doing good to keep investigating, it's not easy when feeling low. It helps me to just keep chipping away, gradually. It's good you are on the case x
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Hello again KaraShannon
I'm disappointed that the blood test wasn't as comprehensive as expected. I think I will try otc supplements for a while and see how that goes.
I keep chipping away because I want some sanity back lol. It is only in post meno that I have experienced mood swings, feeling low and random crying spells and I have had enough now. The times when I feel okay are fabulous but I wish they would last longer than they do. My trusty meno book talks about an emotional roller-coaster ride and that is exactly what it feels like. I find it exhausting.
I will keep searching for answers and I promise to keep the forum up to date with any discoveries. Fingers crossed!
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
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I should really have a blood test again but anxiety not letting me.
On another note, February is turning out to be just as tough, it's still so cold and I'm not feeling great at all. The light is returning though :)
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Hello again ladies.
KaraShannon - I am sorry to hear that things are still tough for you.
I know what you mean about anxiety stopping you from doing the things you need to do. In my case I am afraid that I will burst into tears at random moments so that worries me a lot.
I have some dental and eye test appointments to make but I don't want to have 'an episode ' while I'm being examined. When I went for my recent blood test I was happy to wear a mask so if my chin wobbled, no one would notice!
I never used to worry about such things but now these concerns rule my life.
Again, if I find a magic potion I will be sure to let you know!
Wishing you well and take care.
K.