Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: lisa06031510 on October 15, 2022, 05:53:18 PM
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Hey guys,
So I had a hysterectomy in January 2020 at age of 36 and I struggled getting the correct amount of HRT and that causes a massive, scary mental breakdown in August 2021... Since the then I have managed to get correct HRT and now on 125mg patches...
But I have changed sooo much, I was always so hot headed and cried all the time and had no issues expressing my feelings but now I don't feel anything. I haven't cried in 5 months and I don't deal with any problems. So things that I need to sort and may cause me stress I just avoid... Sounds weird but it's like my brain won't allow me to get stressed or upset. Has anyone experienced this???
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Hello Lisa. Are you on any antidepressants? Often they can cause this reaction.
On the other hand, you have been through a very frightening and distressing time. When exposed to such trauma our brains can try to protect us by 'shutting down'. The numbness can be a coping method to get us through stressful situations. Could this be what you are experiencing?
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Nope no anti depressants... I've been lucky to avoid having to go on them
Yeah that's exactly what I'm experiencing... I tried to Google it to see if was normal after a breakdown but nothing came up... I feel like I need a really big cry but just can't lol... I mean not being so hot headed is Def a good thing haha but I feel I've changed sooo much this last year
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Nope no anti depressants... I've been lucky to avoid having to go on them
Yeah that's exactly what I'm experiencing... I tried to Google it to see if was normal after a breakdown but nothing came up... I feel like I need a really big cry but just can't lol... I mean not being so hot headed is Def a good thing haha but I feel I've changed sooo much this last year
I would say this is very normal. It sounds like you are in self preservation mode. It is almost like you are afraid to 'feel' so you stop yourself from feeling anything. Did you ever have any therapy after the breakdown?
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Yeah I think you are right .. it's just so odd. I do fear having another breakdown as I was so close to doing something silly last time, so could just be fear
Ummm I had some about 9 months after but I didn't find it helpful to be fair...
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Hi Lisa, I’m sorry to hear what you have been through. I have been through similar feelings and therapy is what worked for me. But it took a while to find the right one. I saw many who I felt didn’t help before I found someone who did. It is well worth persevering with. Don’t lose hope because there will be someone who is right for you if you want to try it.
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Aww I'm glad it helped you.
I don't think it's for me, I feel ok just scared and would love to be able to feel again, but surely I won't be like this forever???
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I agree with Katherine. I imagine you will need some support in allowing yourself to feel again and it may not just come back.
Perhaps you did not get with the therapist or it was not a therapy that suits you. Maybe one say you will feel like trying it again.
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Hormones can cause great upheavals. Dr Dalton did a lot of research and studies with regards about PMT , she represented women in Court that had committed murder during their pre-menstrual hours.
The National Association for PreMenstrual Syndrome - NAPS - might offer support and give advice.
Hysterectomy is major surgery. Consultants rarely give HRT advice prior to surgical intervention, nor do they follow up enough !! Your whole system may be in shock, it may be a form of PTSD. A therapist au fait with this would be essential.
...... and breath. Some find that yoga or meditation helps. 'me' time. Swimming? Gentle walking?
MIND have walk-in centres if you feel you need somewhere 'to be' if you feel unsafe. They also kept in touch with me when my friend died suddenly, I didn't get to the office but they sent regular e-mail updates.
We are here and listening!
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Oh no, I am sorry to hear about your friend.
I mean do I just accept I'm this emotionless woman now or do you think it will start to come back ...
I mean I used to cry at adverts, and now nothing... I do think that hormones played a massive part of me being hot headed as I am sooo calm now x
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Oh no, I am sorry to hear about your friend.
I mean do I just accept I'm this emotionless woman now or do you think it will start to come back ...
I mean I used to cry at adverts, and now nothing... I do think that hormones played a massive part of me being hot headed as I am sooo calm now x
Perhpas your hormones are more stable now. If you feel very calm that sounds nice but if it is more numb then I would think you may be supressing emotions.
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Yeah the numbness is sooo weird, like I don't feel anything
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Yeah the numbness is sooo weird, like I don't feel anything
Do you like the numbness? It can be comforting to me.
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Hi Lisa, you cannot lose your innate capacity to feel, you are just kind of disconnected from it. I think your feelings may have just got so ‘big’ that you have stepped back from them. when you are in the midst of things you can feel like you are stuck and that nothing will help. But your ability to feel emotions is part of you and you just need a therapeutic relationship to guide you. But it would need to be the right person which you will find if you are determined. It is gradual with small steps but it’s so worth it when you feel change happening and gives you confidence you are on the right path. X
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My Anti-depressants make me unable to cry ........... not much sets me off these days :-\
The brain has a good way of protecting us. Do U get any exercise on a regular basis? Trying to find 1 thing each day: a dew drop on a leaf for example. Take time to smell the roses has some truth, in that it makes us focus for a few moments. Doesn't matter if we 'feel' or not .......... it's taking time to look at something for a while.
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Yeah, I am very active these days since my car broke i walk everywhere and my job is very active. Which has helped with the menopause weight.
Do you think the amount of HRT I am is to do with it as well??
I just have so many things I need to do and face but when I sit down to do them I just can't do them.... I'm so used to dealing with things by crying and getting angry them getting over it quick, where as now I can't seem to do that and just ignore things.
I've been put off therapy, I just wanted it so she could help me with this fear of another breakdown, but she just wanted to talk about my childhood and what may of caused the breakdown, but I know it was because of not being on the right amount of HRT
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CKLD, I agree that doing the things you mentioned like exercise and being in the moment but I think Lisa is telling us she wants to really be able to feel and cry again. Crying is the body’s natural way of discharging pent up emotions. And if there is an answer to what she wants (therapy) then why not try it? I believe people know what they deeply want and what they want is valid. If someone is happy as they are that’s great but I think Lisa wants more…
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In my experience. talking about childhood is very helpful with therapy as there may be things we are not aware of from our childhood that are effecting us now. With therapy some people think you just have it once and that is it. It can take many attempts over a number of years for it to be of help.
I do not think HRT is making you feel numb. You have experienced trauma and it is likely your brain is protecting yourself from feeling unwanted emotions as it is so painful for you.
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Hi Lisa I’ve just seen your last post. I think it all lies with choosing the right type of therapy if you have it. From what you’ve said earlier, you want to be able to feel and process your emotions so much, and therapists that look to the past and do in depth work like that are your best bet for that in my opinion. But you have to want to do it and I think you would like to focus on the present and future more, in which case CBT might be more appropriate. You might need to try different things to find what works for you. I can tell you what worked for me but then I followed what I really wanted to do. Your HRT will be affecting you I think and may need tweaking too. X
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I agree with Flossieteacake. Therapy can be painful at times, it’s a lot of work but so so worth it when you start to change in the way you want. I agree that HRT will not be causing how you feel, it is likely to be having some influence but I think you are traumatised and therapy could help you. X
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Katherine, you are totally right I just want to feel some form of emotions... I mean I'm.glad I've called down a little but I don't feel like me and just want to cry again and not have this block.
If the therapy was just for me to get over this fear then I would try again as I feel bringing stuff up from my past will not help me...I know what caused the breakdown and being on 125mg of HRT now, I know another breakdown is unlikely for the same reason but I do live in fear that if it happens again I won't be strong enough to get through it this time. Or I just need a PA to deal with the stuff I can't lol
I honestly feel like a complete different person