Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => New Members => Topic started by: RobinRose on June 05, 2022, 09:59:10 AM
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Just very down today. Had to battle with my GP to go on HRT but when I did brought back horrendous bleeding and bloating and total messed up my digestion. Stopped HRT as just couldn’t cope with the bleeding as having to drive a lot due to work demanding everyone back in the office. GP has now put me on anti depressants as menopausal anxiety has been bad. But it’s actually got worse. Might have to leave work. All just too much.
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Morning. Why put someone onto anti-depressant medication for anxiety :-\
Did your GP not talk through with you all the HRT options? Or refer you to a dedicated menopause clinic? I would be ringing the surgery in the morning to request a referral to an NHS Clinic.
:welcomemm:
Which type of HRT were you prescribed initially? How are your periods doing? There are a lot of queries to be answered B4 stopping HRT - did you have digestive problems previously? I've had IBS for years ::) and slow transit really upsets my stomach.
Eating little and often can help ease anxiety surges. My go-to : dried fruits and nuts; bananas; a good quality muesli; chicken curry; pancakes.
Some find that keeping a mood/food/sympto diary is useful to chart progress. Try not to despair. It's The Change - does what it says on the tin ::). Ask away!!!
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Thanks for replying. I resisted anti depressants and pushed for the HRT. I went on Evorel patches. The bloating made me look pregnant. They did suggest IBS and even did a test for bowel cancer but as the progesterone was seen to be the issue I stopped the HRT. All other HRT would mean the bleeding back which is horrific and impossible to cope with on a long commute. So basically HRT took away the only positive of menopause ie no periods. My boss has the view that menopause isn’t something you should talk about at work, so no support there. No family or friends so very alone :'( :'(
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:hug: Sorry you feel so down. If you've only tried evorel there are many other options you can try. It isn't unusual to get bad side effects from one form of progestin but to be fine on another. I would ask for gp for something different or ask for a referral to a menopause clinic if the gp. Have a look at thd treatments tab to see what else you could try. Evorel uses norethisterone so perhaps try o e with something different. Why would all other hrt bring back the bleeding? I'm assuming you're meno (1 year without a bleed when not on hrt or the pill) so use any other hrt on a conti regime and not bleed. My anxiety has completely gone with hrt so IMO it's worth pursuing.
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Thanks Sheila. It was my GP who said there would have to be a bleed which is why I gave up and just accepted the anti depressants. I had to really push to even go on HRT as she believes anti depressants are the solution. My anxiety also went on HRT , I was so happy until the progesterone problem hit. GP says only other solution is a hysterectomy, which seems extreme and if I asked work for that time off it would definitely be bye bye job.
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Tell the gp she should educate herself before talking sh*t. Show her the NICE guidelines that say hrt should be used to treat menopause symptoms and ads are not the appropriate treatment. Given how ignorant she is I think you need to educate yourself so you know when she's wrong or else see someone else. Does she REALLY think evorel conti is the only conti hrt available?? Is there another gp you could see? You can ask for a referral but really your gp should k ow enough to prescribe something suitable herself.
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Agree completely with Sheila, your GP is horribly misinformed and not giving you the appropriate care. Nothing they’ve said is true. Please ask for a referral to a menopause clinic ASAP. I went private personally and am so glad I did. There are many HRT options, you do not have to have a bleed if you’re post menopause, that’s ridiculous.
Sadly on the NHS my experience is they typically treat anxiety with anti depressants. It’s annoying, that’s what they suggested to me. I went private and got HRT instead. I have had horrible anxiety for years but it’s now significantly better after 8 months HRT and 3 months of therapy which is ongoing. You do not have to take anti depressants for anxiety and it should not be the first option just because a specific HRT isn’t right for you. What a terrible GP, I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. Yes Sheila gave good advice, print the NICE guidelines for menopause and take them with you to the stupid GP! They are not following them!
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Thankyou. GP has got better to be fair, I got her to watch the Davina McCall show. I did research it all and thought the patches would work well. Anti depressants actually felt like a good option as my anxiety was so bad. But here I am feeling worse, terrified of losing a job and crying at the prospect of work tommorrow. I will keep trying.
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Is there any way you can take a short break from work? Ask your GP? A week of two away from work and other responsibilities may help you feel less burdened and able to find a pathway to resolve your anxiety. I know how awful it can get so sending you hugs x
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No, I can’t take time off work. It’s a new job so I would just end up sacked. I’ve coped with anxiety for years without needing medication so now I feel a failure on top of everything else. Thankyou for being kind.
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You are not a failure. How long have U been in post? The Company needs educating about menopause!! Does it tell you in your Contact how many days 'off' you are allowed per 12 months?
Many cannot tolerate the progesterone part of an HRT cycle. Which is why advice from a menopause specialist is important, a letter of appropriate treatment can be sent to. your GP.
Let us know how you get on. I don't think that one can lose a job due to menopause symptoms :-\. There has to be a procedure in place ......... how large is the Company for which you work?
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Hi the company I work for are large and associated with the NHS. They pay very well but expect massive hours in return. I rarely even get lunch. It’s just statutory sick pay during probation period but they do tend to exit people a lot if their face doesn’t fit including if they take time off sick. Others in the company wanted to set up a menopause support group, which I offered to help with. That’s when my boss made it very clear she isn’t interested in people using menopause as an excuse, her words. Biggest joke ever is I work in HR.
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"not an excuse". This needs reporting to the Union!!! I'm not a Union person, but every company should have a menopause ?? searching for word ?? :-\ in place.
NHS expects blood. I always said that we would be rolled under the examination table should we faint whilst in Clinics! I wasn't aware that the NHS pays particularly well :-\. I would continue to set up a menopause support group ....... mayB begin in the Obs and Gynae Dept., talk with the Sisters/Staff Nurses, District ........ Midwives. This can be taken out of work hours if necessary, getting support and advice. That way it won't be seen as 'eating into NHS hours' ;-).
Your boss - how old? Hopefully her TIME WILL COME ;D.
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The NHS has a menopause policy for employees. I think your boss could be in trouble for saying that, in any workplace.
Please don’t feel like a failure. Anxiety makes us very self critical, which only makes it worse. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend experiencing the same thing.
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We don’t have a union presence and boss hates unions. She’s very vocal on that subject to. She is 50 , like me. I’m not in pure NHS but a private company that supports it so the pay is way over my previous job plus benefits. Think boss might be on the way to menopause as her migraines have suddenly got worse. Sadly just someone with no empathy for others, which can’t be changed. I was warned about her before joining to be fair, should have listened. :'(
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But you can enjoy watching her suffer and then her she's just making excuses 😁
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I know you’re tired and not wanting to rock the boat on a new job, but this might be worth reading and keeping in mind. It’s discrimination to fire someone or treat them differently because they experience menopause:
https://menopauseintheworkplace.co.uk/employment-law/menopause-and-employment-law/
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I’m too nice. Last week when she had her migraine I ended up taking on bits of her role to help out and it’s now expected I’ll take on more. This should have been my dream role but it’s become a nightmare and I honestly feel like I am losing my mind.
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I've worked with such people from 1976-1980s. In the NHS. >:(. When I dream about her, I always win the battle ;D. She ruined many opportunities for better working conditions. I was fortunate in that my Boss as well as the other secretaries, were aware of her being a bully. (long story short). Now I would tackle the situation in a totally different way.
Is this woman in your section of the Company or does she liaise with the NHS? MayB ask the NHS itself for support? Liaise your HR with theirs?
Or take the bull by the horns: write a letter - " I am going through menopause symptoms so will require support as well as days off. Menopause issues should have been discussed at the Interview, therefore I expect to be able to continue with my job to the best of my abilities whilst undergoing The Change". There is nothing in my Contract of Employment stating that time cannot be taken due to menopause symptoms'.
And copy to as many in managerial positions as possible ;-). What's to lose ......... let us know how you get on. :foryou:
"I've helped once, but that's it. Migraines can be part of peri-menopause (lay it on thickly) so hopefully you will be able to manage your work load in future".
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R U too nice due to worrying about losing a job that could be enjoyable, or simply meek ?
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It's a probationary period so perhaps not to rock the boat until you're permanent. It sounds as though you could do a lot of good implementing a meno policy from within if can stay. Your boss may soon be on board once she realises how bad it can be
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In all honesty I am scared of my boss. She has made it clear she gets rid of people who don’t follow her. She even said in week one that she’d sacked the person before me because they went behind her back to her boss. One hell of a warning shot to someone in week 1. I am worried about losing my job yes, bills are not getting smaller after all. It’s just getting too much pretending it’s all fine. I did speak to someone else in the department about a different role. She wasn’t happy when she heard about that. Now I feel she is looking for any excuse to push me out. Work hours mean what little life I had has disappeared as I am too tired to do anything. I am trying to put up and shut up and try to get a year out of this job then move on. Never ever been so down
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People aren’t legally allowed to behave like this woman. How long till probation is over? Because then I would tell her clearly bullying and discrimination of women during menopause is illegal and could cost the company. You can surely make confidential complaints about her? If in HR, how would you advise someone else in your position coming to you?
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In the meantime try this for a giggle and imagine doing this to your boss!!
https://youtu.be/LDETaE1nR1w
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I’d advise them to consider a grievance, whilst sadly knowing it would be a pointless exercise
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I am sorry you are having to put up with no support at work. I work for the NHS and yes they do have a policy but my boss sounds like yours no support at all. On the subject of anti depressants, yes they do give them for anxiety depending which one you are on. They are not just given for depression. I was given them in peri menopause and they were a life saver for me but they were not a instant fix, it took 6 weeks before I felt normal, well as normal as I can be. Lol.
ATB. That gave me a laugh that link you sent. That was me about 20 years ago to my area manager, not exaggerating, she was a b…h! And one day she humiliated me in front of other staff so I lost it and told her to shove the job up her ***, though I still had a job after I calmed down. Lol. X
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Thanks queenofreds. I am on fluoxetine. Was hoping it would be a few weeks to get used to it. Six seems a long time but at least can see an end to it now.
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Keep going but if that is not helping there are other types. I was on citalapram, it was the only one I could tolerate. Sending big hugs, it’s horrible all this hormone upheaval on top of in compassionate bosses. X
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Glad it gave you a giggle, Queen!
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Morning :-)
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Just very down today. Had to battle with my GP to go on HRT but when I did brought back horrendous bleeding and bloating and total messed up my digestion. Stopped HRT as just couldn’t cope with the bleeding as having to drive a lot due to work demanding everyone back in the office. GP has now put me on anti depressants as menopausal anxiety has been bad. But it’s actually got worse. Might have to leave work. All just too much.
I'm really sorry to hear of your troubles. Anxiety is horrific and until someone has experienced it themselves they don't understand how all encompassing it can be.
I'm sure you have tried everything but, if I may, I have found some things help me...
Talking aloud to the universe and expressing myself with no holds barred.
Adult colouring...strangely enjoyable lol.
Writing things down, holding the pages aloft and saying 'begone!' or something more florid and then shredding them in the shredder with as much ritual and meaning as I can muster.
Visualising something specific which is causing the anxiety (if there is anything) and saying 'Everything is okay, all is well' either out loud or in my head.
You might also try putting some music on and dancing until you are breathless to get that adrenaline moving out and bringing some better stuff in your system when you first start having the feels if you are mobile enough. If you aren't then even something like clapping a beat to something We Will Rock You by Queen (I'm so on trend lol) might distract you.
Just a few ideas. Sending a virtual and well meant hug to you. Things are very up in the air in general for us all at the moment. There aren't many people who can push on full of the joys of spring every day if they care about others and the world so don't be too hard on yourself. It's a challenging time 🌺
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Morning Crone .......... browse round. Make notes ;-)
Anxiety keeps me in bed. Without medication I wouldn't get out in the morning ::)
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Thank you, CLKD, I shall!
Knowledge is power, hey? ;)
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Hopefully!
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Hi RobinRose, progesterone is usually the element that causes problems. If you were fine on the other then surely GP can explore other prog brands which you might tolerate better.... I'm not on HRT - undecided as I have digestive problems anyway and don't want them made worse. Wish you well x (lets hope when your boss does hit menopause the experience enables her to develop some empathy for others!!!)
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Hi, just wanted to update you. Seems the fluoxetine has started working so anxiety is well under control which is great. Hot flushes not gone completely but much better than they were so that’s great. Other people at work have noticed nasty bosses behaviour and apparently it’s a pattern of behaviour. It has helped knowing others see it and that I do have friends at work. Thanks for all your help and support , you have all been great and really helped me feel not alonex
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I was wondering about you in the week ;-). MayB her habits should be noted by other colleagues - these can be used in an un-fair dismissal case.
So pleased that you are feeling much better. Be prepared for the odd blip in mood, particularly if work becomes stressful. Otherwise, you seem to be 'getting there' :foryou:
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Hi Robin Rose
sorry you've been having a hard time, one line that you wrote, about it being hard to keep pretending everything's ok, I felt that. I think menopause in the middle of a pandemic is a recipe for disaster, there are so many other stressors going on as well as menopause.
Glad the medication is helping and that things have improved a bit at work. The only thing I thought to add is whether to try Evorel Sequi over Evorel Conti. I was on a very low dose to start with of this. You do have a cycle with it, but it stopped my heavy periods and there is just this light, insignificant period regular as clockwork each month (or there was until i messed up my regime, I'm hoping to go back to it though). The progesterone is norehisterone and you only get it on the second half of the month. I did well on that, strangely, in fact I used to look forward to that phase as I got loads of energy. I changed my regime because I wanted a body identical progesterone long term, but I had a terrible reaction to it, so now I'm planning on trying to go back to my Evorel Sequi regime as the norehisterone, while not being body identical, did nothing but good.
Anyway, my main point was just that while evorel sequi gives a cycle, it does, in my experience and from what the doctor told me, lighten your period and make it regular. I can honestly say there is little inconvenience with it in my case.
Hope things continue to improve for you :)
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Thanks everyone. Kara Shannon I was in Evorel Sequi it was the progesterone that caused me big problems so came off it. I might look at it again later on. At the moment as my biggest problem was the anxiety the anti depressants have really helped. I asked about the body identical stuff but got told I’d have to go private for that and NHS don’t prescribe. Glad it has worked for you and something I will look into again.
CLKD people are aware of her behaviour and hope they speak up. Certainly all of the other managers at her level have commented to me about it and have been checking in to make sure I am OK which has helped .
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That's a huge relief to me after what you reported: hopefully you will continue to gain support, so that your work-life balance can improve.