Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Nas on September 30, 2021, 03:46:24 PM
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Has anyone done this as a result of continuing menopause symptoms? Did you have another job to go to?
I am considering quitting. My menopause is just taking over and I fear I make no sense to my colleagues right now.
I don’t have a rich partner to rely on financially. He earns just enough to pay bills etc.
Every day is a struggle to get up and go to work etc.
I am 50 with teen kids and cannot afford to retire.
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Nas
So sorry things have got to this point for you. I haven’t given up my job but wondered, so can’t help you with that.
But have you asked if your GP could sign you off for a few weeks to give you some breathing space.
Are you getting advice on medication from GP or menopause specialist?
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It depends on your type of work. Do U have a manager that you can discuss delegating work load for example?
Do U want to leave? What skills do U have to use elsewhere?
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Hey Nas I had a complete meltdown at the weekend and said I was resigning without a job to go to. So stressed insomnia back again all this week, waking up at 3am and that's it. Cannot believe it's actually happening. If you don't feel better in the school holidays I would really consider about resigning, I know it's hard BUT think of all the people in school who are signed off for one thing or another. Don't worry what people think I know it's hard that's why I keep going, you are entitled to sick pay and job security in a school too not slot of other sectors have that ATM. That said I would speak to someone in HR they will be able to support and then work out what you would like to do, do you get a day off if so could you pick up something else that day to test the waters, there are loads of temporary posts around. Always here you must do what is right for you but something new might bring new stresses or it might just be the change you need. Have you thought about coaching? It might help to talk through with a career coach. You sound fab so I'm sure you are very employable xxxxx
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I always said that when a job began to keep me awake at night, that's the time to quit. However, I enjoyed my work :-\
Any opportunity of working part-time/job share?
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Hi Nas
Sorry you still feel this way
I gave up my job because of all this , at first I was off & on sick pay & I felt so guilty as I knew that they needed someone in to do the job why I was off and I couldn’t give them a return date , so I quit
They have told me that whenever I’m ready I can go back anytime , and they always check up on me with daily messages or phone calls..
I probably rushed into quitting , because of the over thinking
But at that point in time I wasn’t in a good way aniexty wise & was no good to me never mind anyone else
This was in June …
I do feel like I’m getting better slowly but still not able to do most things I was doing but one day I’ll get there
Aniexty took over me and my life.
Need a job from home , or a small part time job to keep you ticking over
My husband was always the highest paid and he took care of literally most the bills so nothing changed financially for us , apart from I wasn’t getting my wage but I don’t go anywhere to spend it , so at the moment we haven’t missed it , if that makes sense.
I do want to go back to work but only when I feel I can.
One thing this as taught me , is we need to look after ourselves and health
And I will never take my mental health for granted again because that is scariest part for me.
Maybe take a few weeks off on the sick and see how it goes , I’m sure being at home you would miss work because I do and it might give you the boost to think actually I want to go to work ..
Look out for you Nas … your no good to yourself run into the ground .. so do what’s best for you. xx
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It’s awful the impact that our hormone deficiency has on some of us. I was made redundant and was studying with a plan to get back to work after 6 months part time to work around my mums care, but because of severe illness from peri I haven’t studied for 2 years now and so not earning, my husband is the only earner, I get carers allowance which goes on paying for my private menopause doctor, I’m lucky at the moment to be able to do that but I feel guilty that the money is being used for that.
I think it would be sensible to go on sick leave before making a decision, take time and hopefully you improve.
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Hello Nas
I struggled in the early days of peri menopause.
At 4 years in aged 52 I had a divorce and sudden death by suicide of my eldest son aged 23. I re evaluted life very quickly and quit my stressful safeguarding nurse job. I did not have a job to go too and waa single with a mortgage to pay.
For me I never looked back. My life is so happy now with my delightful partner. I work in a school as a dinner lady and run my own business....no mortgage.
A huge change from back in 2014.
Anything is possible and within yoyr reach
Many hugs
Ms Peaks xx
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I quit work compulsively in June, fortunately start a new job in Monday part time and local with NHS.
The summer break really helped me
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I’ve been thinking about retiring all year I’m only 47 years old. But with menopause, headaches and facial pain, fissure and piles, life is no fun. I’m a cleaner so it’s hard work.
I’m lucky as my husband is the main income and what I make is very little. So after many months of “I’m retiring this year” I’d change my mind. Instead of 13 houses to clean a fortnight I will cut down to 6. Enough to give me some money to spend, I will probably do this for a couple of years.
But if something happens I will just stop, I do feel blessed to have a husband to support me and what ever I want to do :)
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Yes I quit my job ... and am now training to be a teacher. You'd think that was impossible, because I'd got to the stage of not being able to string a sentence together at work, was in a blind panic all the time, had no resilience whatsoever (if not at work, I was asleep), and no lust for life at all. Felt as if I was just waiting to die, in that office, surrounded by those people.
Point being, yes, the menopause was wiping me out, but so was the job, it was the two combined. I was never just the menopause. There was other stuff around me. Lockdown and mainly working from home gave me the time I needed to reflect on who I was and what I wanted to do, and from there I explored my options, and rapidly came to understand that I had so much to offer. I ended up in a positive reinforcement loop. For me, and I know this isn't true for everyone, 'A change (pun intended) was as good as a rest.'
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Thanks for all your input, I really value your contributions. They have made me realise that I do need to take action ASAP.
I don’t want to go sick, not my thing. I do need a different job though. I’m not in a position where my partner can fund the whole family and neither would I like him to do that. I have to be earning money for a good while longer, no taking time out to study etc, just can’t afford it.
My job is boring, I’m bored and menopause hasn’t helped. I hate getting up 5 days a week, being in a small setting etc etc, just hate it. It’s down to me to make the changes ( somehow!)
Not sleeping well also contributes massively. Still trying to get the Hrt right, but failing miserably!
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Good for you Nas keep us posted xxx
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Hi Nas,
Quitting has for me also been on my mind for 3 or 4 years now but specifically this year where it has been a focus every single day. I initially thought lockdown and home working would be the respite I needed, but in the 18 months at home my Peri has gotten much worse to the point that I would have been signed off if office working had been required. Now the thought of returning to office terrifies me.
I am however starting to feel a little brighter on this new hrt regime so hoping that if it keeps improving that I may feel able to continue.
I'd say try to get your hrt sorted first before making any rash decisions. I've had to have periods of sick leave in the past and you should never be ashamed to utilise it if required. I'm sure your employer would rather that than loose you in the long run xxxxx
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Hi Nas, I'm 47, perimenopausal. 10 days ago I went to my gp and asked to be signed off. I've never done that before but I knew I needed to stop and reassess where I'm at. I was on the verge of quitting my job and marriage. I'm also on ADs.
I don't regret taking a pause and feel no shame. I need this time for me.
Do whatever feels right for you
S
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Thanks again everyone.
Well I had the night from hell, sleeplessness, hot, agitated etc etc. It’s just awful.
I have no clue what to do HRT wise now, other than to ask for oral Hrt. It seems my body doesn’t much like hrt but life is even worse without it!
I’ve got to get myself to Liverpool women’s hospital next week and come away with the right Hrt. I feel i can’t afford to lose any more sleep or time with this menopause now. It’s literally taking my life!
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Make a list of your strengths. Go back as far as your school days : what did U want to do initially, did your choices lead to that or did U have to do other jobs?
Write your CV. C what it shows. What U could diversify with your current skill base? R U able to take something from your background. No knowledge needs 2 B wasted, it's deciding how best to gain employment with it.
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Not me but my Mother had a terrible time with menopause and work. She just could not sleep at all after coming off hrt in her 50's (she had been on it for 10 years or so )and was nearly forced out of her job as she was falling asleep at her desk. It was a hugely stressful time for the whole family.
She finally got some help with her sleep but looking back I don't think she should ever have come off her HRT and its now been over 15 years since she stopped and I think thats at the point where it begins to be less benefical. I feel like a lot of deterioration mentally and physically is due to being taken off of hrt.