Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Mindfulmoomins on August 21, 2021, 02:43:49 PM
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Hi everyone,
I am having a really low day with bouts of crying and feeling like I’ll never feel better. My antidepressant was increased 2 weeks ago (and my HRT 3 weeks ago) so I know I need to give it time and take care of myself.
So, I thought I’d share what helps on the dark days and would love to hear what helps you. If you are in a place today where you feel this is all trite nonsense then please know I understand that too!
Hugs (often I kind of collapse into them and cry but sometimes they help me feel a bit more ‘me’ inside)
Gratitude - I often don’t feel like doing this but at the end of the day I try and review anything good that has happened and let it soak in (there’s some good science behind this helping with mood I believe)
Nature - being out in it even for 5-10 minutes
Meditation - especially the ‘releasing anxiety’ one on the CALM app
Creativity - when I feel I am able to do something creative it sometimes seems to give me a lift
Lots of love xx
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Keeping busy. Currently painting and decorating, clearing junk, gardening, anything to keep the brain distracted basically.
I also write a list of achievable jobs for the day and try to get them done.
Why are you having a low day today? Is there a trigger?
Hope you feel better soon. Try and do something nice for yourself?
Hugs xxx 🌸
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also having a horrible today so you aren’t alone Mindfulmoomins.
Not quite sure what to do with myself if I’m honest. I’m 3 weeks into Prozac, I think I’m having brighter days but when I look at what I have to deal with anyone would be depressed, no tablet is going to change this.
Keep plodding on hoping for brighter days xx
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Yeah, interesting. Distraction never works for me. I find labelling the feeling (sad, angry, lost etc) most helpful so that it can be there? Somehow letting it "rest" with me shifts the threat it poses. I think, though, it depends on the intensity or severity of the emotion as to how much capacity there is to respond to distraction or any technique! Sometimes that can feel like having to find resources to add to what is already too much? So, a little tender befriending of the feeling, even making little soothing noises or a self-hug (very powerful if held for a good while) can be like, "Yes. You're sad, today. It's ok. You can stay there as long as you need to." 💚
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Thanks everyone, really love the ‘tender befriending’. Good to know I’m not alone too xxx
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Learning to say 'no' to others was the most important thing I ever did. It took a while but enables me. When asked to assist any1 I suggest that I need to check my calendar first B4 committing. If I do commit then I insist on a backup B4 they go away (when cat sitting, in case Mum takes a 'turn').
Gardening. Weeding, moving plants on the patio to gain more colour, feeding wild birds: followed by a deep bubble bath and bed. Do U find list making helpful, something 2 tick off as the day goes by. That way U can see how much you *have* achieved.
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Like Nas, keeping busy helps me most I think. A poor sleeper, nights are the worst for me but I walk in open countryside early every morning & that helps put the dark behind me. Also love being by the sea, so a walk on the beach or along a coastal path is always uplifting. Never more mindful than when out with my camera. Taking care to compose a shot to capture something beautiful fills my mind with the task & a lovely hour can pass before I know it. A few choice tracks on my MP3 can do the trick when there's no energy for walking or it's too dark to spend long outside. When something overwhelming/life-changing happens that I'm really struggling to deal with though, I think of things I'd find even harder to handle & that helps me realise things could be worse & that given time to adjust, I will likely cope with what then seems a bit less daunting. :hug:
Wx
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Hi Mindfulmoomins,
sorry to hear you've had a bad day, hopefully tomorrow will be better and the updates regimes will start kicking in.
For me during bad days, distraction from my own thoughts is the best cure and I find that it needs to include some physical activity. On a bad day I can't concentrate on reading or watching Netflix which I usually like and even meditation is difficult. Exercise is good and challenging myself physically helps with the anxiety. If I have a chance to go out and spend time in the nature, that works usually too.
I've recently started practicing restorative yoga and my first experiences are very positive. Within 10-15 min I start calming down and towards the end of the practice feel really relaxed and almost sleepy.
Take care!! xxx
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Thank you Ella,
Restorative yoga sound lovely.
I started to feel a bit better this past week, only very slightly but still it was encouraging. Today I’ve been to the cinema and had a meal out with my husband. I have felt full of sorrow though and had lots of tears. It feels very hormonal and I am trying to go with it and accept it’s just how it is today.
It’s tough though as I long to feel better and feel more like myself consistently.
If anyone else is having a wobbly day I am thinking of you and wobbling with you. May we find stability and a place to rest within ourselves soon.
Xx
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Thank you Ella,
Restorative yoga sound lovely.
I started to feel a bit better this past week, only very slightly but still it was encouraging. Today I’ve been to the cinema and had a meal out with my husband. I have felt full of sorrow though and had lots of tears. It feels very hormonal and I am trying to go with it and accept it’s just how it is today.
It’s tough though as I long to feel better and feel more like myself consistently.
If anyone else is having a wobbly day I am thinking of you and wobbling with you. May we find stability and a place to rest within ourselves soon.
Xx
I think that’s we all want, contentment x
Best wishes from a fellow wobbler xx
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Sending you a big hug Groundhog xx
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Those tears may B a kind of relief. Often when I'm out and about feeling OK I kind of mourn for those events that I missed due to anxiety etc.. I feel sad even when I'm not - regret I suppose.
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That’s a really interesting point. Yes, a kind of mourning xx
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Thanks, CLKD, good word "mourn". I think we can probably all allude to some form of mourning or grieving going on at some stage or another. How to turn it into an "emptying" seems to be the secret, making room for some new experience?
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I vented in a Journal. Once medication kicked in, the mourning gets further away from today.
Being in our garden, in warm ☀️ , pottering is still my best place. Feb/March are my favourite months when everything is new and there is hope for blossom and young birds. This time of year however >:(
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I would so love the medication to kick in and for the sadness to dissipate. I am not keen on this time of year either.
I love our garden and pottering too. Xx
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Dark nights + C.mas looming :-X .........