Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Traceyjd on September 11, 2020, 07:26:12 AM
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Just answering another post got me thinking, I wish people really understood what it’s like when you suffer from menopause symptoms.
Yes everyone knows about women going through the change at a certain age, apparently it’s funny, the butt of many a joke. The reality is, there is nothing funny about it.
Nobody knows what it’s like to suffer with the sudden onset of impossible to control flushes, right at the most of embarrassing times, the anxiety, the aches and pains...... the lack of libido and that’s just a few.
My partner listens, he’s a really compassionate guy, very understanding but I feel he’s sick of hearing about it and often, does he really believe that I actually feel like someone turned my sex drive off.
The Dr.....no he doesn’t get it, yes he can write a prescription but he doesn’t know the effects on me, mentally with the constant battle trying to sort my hormones out, daily.
My best friend, I am actually envious of her, she doesn’t have a symptom 🙄
My 2 girls, I think they understand to a point but they just want Mum to get through this, “not that blooming menopause stuff, again”
And me..... I’m actually fed up of myself talking and thinking about “menopause”
My 40’s were challenging with life stuff and I was determined to have the best time in my 50’s but if I’m honest it’s being limited by all the hormone stuff. I’m annoyed 😠 and resentful of it affecting my life like it does, even though I try as hard as I can to limit the affects. Trying my best to do all I can to make it better. Reading on here, trying different ways of taking my medication, spending money on private clinics and not eating this or drinking that.
Feels better just ranting on hear to you all 😂. Thank you for listening and empathising x
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Ditto to everything you have just written...we sound alike :'(
Spending more money on a specialist tomorrow because can’t be bothered with the GPs guesswork - it’s been going on too long!
Wish you all the best x
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Same here, nobody understood what I was going through . But as Jaypo says, we all understand on here xxx
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Absolutely! This site is my go to. Its like a hand to hold, someone who understands... I know my family try but I don't think they get the daily battle mentally dealing with it all. And the thought it could go on for years... Jeez! I don't know what I'd do without this site, I really don't.. Xx
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Hello Traceyjd
I couldn't agree more! The menopause has dominated my life and I am beyond fed with it. I had my last period ten years ago and have had many symptoms in the past but now seem to be stuck with some problems that just won't go away.
All my GPs are lovely and supportive and I have seen people privately but I am still suffering. I hate mentioning the menopause to friends and family now because I have been complaining about it for a long time so yes, thank goodness for this site!
Wishing you all well ladies.
K.
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We shouldn't have to continue to suffer ? :-\ ........ why aren't GPs given more up-2-date information annually? Obviously the Menopause Society aren't getting through. Every Surgery should be now have a dedicated menopause Nurse who actually knows what to look for even if they are't there yet. It would in the long-term save money for the Health Authorities. Same with thyroid function which often rears it's head in The Change, if a lady continues to complain of symptoms, further testing should take place: not simply 'within normal limits, live with it' attitude?
Sympathy and a listening ear in the Surgery would go a long way - I have to say that I never feel rushed in my appts., my GP takes time to listen, I think partly because he and his Wife are my age ;-)
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I could rant for England about this. Doctors who could at least recognise the symptoms would be a start. There are thousands of women who aren't given appropriate treatment and continue to 'get by' rather than live a full life. The economic cost must be immense, women who should be stepping into senior leadership roles but don't feel able to, teachers, nurses etc etc who take early retirement or go part time because of menopause symptoms. I know we're so much better off than previous generations and I'm grateful for it (my mum spent 2 years bedridden from a botched cystitis op that damaged her back, almost certainly VA) but there's so much further to go.
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Hello again ladies.
Sheila99 - your post reminded me of a friend of a friend who was a nurse. Unfortunately her flushes were so frequent and the accompanying panicky feelings so overwhelming that she had to give up her job and hasn't worked since even though the family really need her wage.
When my meno began I thought I could tough it out as I wasn't working and my children were at university so I could easily accommodate any problems such as loss of sleep due to night sweats. I honestly thought any problems would be gone after two to three years and I would be back to normal.
In life it is unlikely that you will meet someone who can relate to your particular symptoms but there is always someone on this forum who can relate to what you are going.
Wishing everyone well.
K.
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I agree ladies. I wish every area had face to face support groups because even though you wouldn't wish this crap on anyone to see and hear someone going through this crap would help so much. On my last visit with my gp I actually said to him I think I am a fairly decent human being doctor ,I dont think I have harmed anyone intentionally along lives journey. I have always worked paid my way through life. Have saved money all my life and lived a sensible life. I said I would give every last penny I have just to feel like I used to. I dont live anymore girls I exist. :'( :'(
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Totally agree... I thought i would be one of those women who power through it... I am fit, not over weoght and aware of mental health and how to help and improve it. Ha... little did i know!
Hormones take over and you have NO control >:(. Hot sweats, anxiety, depression, bad temper... And the worst of it is I do think that it is a hidden condition still, like depression usd to be, something which isnt talked about t much and is a bit embaressing.
Like you my partner has been v understanding. HRT has improved v my life a lot altho still tweaking it, and i was determined never ever to use it... Health risks etc. But my life was a mess without it. This forum has been amazing too, supportive and Knowledgeable
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Hi everyone,
I feel the same. I feel people don't understand what this nonsense really is. I was talking about it with my MIL and she was saying that she would tell herself to get on with it. Perhaps her symptoms were mild or non-existent. I would say mine are mild to moderate but what bothers me most is the anxiety and low mood that I get on a regular basis. I haven't had a period since January this year but I consider myself still peri as it's not been 12 months yet . I just hope that the situation is not going to get worse in postmeno but there isn't a day when I don't worry about the symptoms I already have or might have at a later stage. I know someone who sailed through peri and meno without a single symptom but when she reached postmeno the symptoms all came at once. Kathleen, that must be terrible on you. You're 10 years postmeno and you're still suffering. I will never be able to understand why things don't settle down for some women. Why can't the body adjust itself with a lower level of oestrogen? Do we already have oestrogen before puberty or is puberty that causes the production of oestrogen? If puberty causes the production of oestrogen, how did the body cope prior to puberty then when there was none or very little? Why should the menopause cause so much havoc on the body? It's very frustrating.
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I don't understand 'post menopausal'. Menopause literally means 'last monthly period'. So once periods stop, we are menopausal for Life :-\. If hormones wax and wane even slightly, then symptoms may niggle on or cause problems intermittently.
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Agree 100 percent. Too knackered at moment to write more x
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Katrina. My symptons are much worse since I reached menopause. In hindside looking back peri started for me in 2014 but of course I didnt realise then because still having regular periods etc. I just wish I had realised then and gone on HRT. Maybe I wouldn't have been in such a state now and can't seem to find an HRT to help. :(
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I understand that at some point the oestrogen and progesterone fluctuate and decline and eventually get so low that having periods becomes impossible. But what I will never get is the fact that these hormones continue to fluctuate well past menopause and carry on causing trouble because I believe that, although they are they are low, they should have stabilised and the hormonal balance should be restored. Or it could be that for some women it will affect them for the rest of their lives. I just hope I won't be one of them.
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The trouble is in the medical profession not having much knowledge about menopause.
There were not enough studies, not enough ..care to even help older women through.
In 21st century!
Beggar belief!
Myself resigned to it, just existing now, like you ladies, I had very very different plans.
All went upsh... with my meno.
Fast forward, some took advantage of my weak state too, and now hardly anyone even speak to me, because how dared I miss certain gatherings, how rude of me was to snap, and I must be an idiot if get anxious about a stuff like washing machine spinning, or lamp hanging low...
The fact that I hardly slept through night when I had to change tshirts three or four times, lay in pool of sweat but come on time to work or be sacked, never bothered anyone besides me...
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Yes I wish I had taken hrt years ago. I just never feel "right" anymore. Sometimes I despair that life will be like this forever.
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100% agree with what has been said. x