Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: momofboys on June 11, 2020, 05:34:24 PM
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I am new. I cannot take hormones due to breast risk. In the past month I have had a hard time with sex-its not a decreased libido. Rather its lack of enjoyment once we get going. I have to really concentrate, and sometimes just want to stop. NO pain. But I do have a lot of stresses and some physical symptoms that my GYN and I think are due to both stress (with increased stress from the pandemic) and hormonal ups and downs. Does anyone have thoughts on non-hormonal ways to fix the sex part mainly. Other symptoms are mood swings, loss of appetite, headaches, and not sleeping well. I did try Melatonin last night and slept fine. SO that part might be resolved. Mainly the sex part would be something I would like to fix without hormones. TIA
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Hi momofboys.
You could try vagisan from boots. it's just a moisturiser, no hormones.
As your stressed, I'm thinking it won't be resolved until your NOT stressed tbh.
I mean, who wants sex when we've got headaches, and lack of sleep, and also in a bad mood.?
You could make a night of it, like a date night, try to forget your worries, and just focus on each other, then who knows, the magic might happen. Can't think of anything else if I'm honest.
It does get better tho, I was like you, just not bothered about it really, but it all past.
Don't beat yourself up about it, you?ll get back to how you were before.
Oh and :welcomemm:
Keep posting, let us know how your getting on.
Jd xx
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Thanks-Moisture is not the problem-I start out fine, just want to stop half way through. I am definitely thinking stress. But also, I have had some uncontrollable crying in the past couple weeks. More than usual for the stress I have. My doc seems to think it's a combo of stress, pandemic and fluctuating hormones. I figured the sex part was the easiest to fix-but maybe I just need to vent. Anyway-thanks for your help. I have been a little better since venting to my doc-think I had things bottled up.
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Hi! who has told you that you can't take HRT? I had breast disease in the 1990s and my oncologist muttered "No HRT for your My Girl" but I thought, we'll see. After all Quality of Life is important, no good being miserable if problems can be fixed.
Is your lack of interest cyclic? I had no sex drive until 3 days B4 a period was due, then :o :-X. Hormones certainly played a part but my GP told me that I was depressed. Yep, I was. Depressed because none of the GPs actually listened :cuss:
R U fed up with other aspects of your Life or is your partner really annoying you so that you shut off in bed? You need to have The Talk!
Some ladies find keeping a mood/symptom/food diary useful. You don't say how old you are or if you have a regular cycle, all might be part of decreased enjoyment.
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Hello momofboys and welcome to the forum.
Your lack of interest in sex along with mood swings and crying etc are very suggestive of hormonal changes. I assume you are at an age where the menopause is a possibility?
My trusty meno book talks about a loss of interest in things we once found enjoyable and I guess sex would fall into that category!
There is an alternative therapies section on the forum so you may find some useful remedies there.
Wishing you well and keep posting.
K.
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Are you certain about hrt or might it be worth seeing a specialist to make sure? I think some people can. Sorry I can't help with the question, testosterone made the difference for me but I don't think you can have it without hrt. It wasn't just the libido it was the loss of muscle tone that made it unsatisfactory.
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hi sheila99
do u just take tesosterone or hrt to ?
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Both. As far as I know they won't prescribe testosterone unless you're stable on hrt.
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Hi mumofboys im actually a mummy boys too lol, i think sometimes when you start the menopause it makes you aware of your age, weigh and all the bits you don't like about yourself, i actually had this terrible fear of squashing my husband whilst having sex, it right put me off ha ha, but it was very real at the time as i had put on weight and made me feel so unattractive, so it makes you uptight before you even start have a romantic half hour, anyway he's still alive and loves me, its horrible i know the only way i delt with it was to get reassurance i wasn't squashing him