Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Redlocks on December 20, 2019, 11:41:03 AM
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My antidepressants (40mg daily) are not even touching my anxiety right now! I had a massive panic attack this morning and saw I've started my period.
I don't know what's physical and what's in my head anymore. I'm scared I'm secretly unconsciously doing this deliberately and that it's all my fault. Maybe I could think my way out of it if I wanted to but I refuse to? I wanted to be able to blame it on the hormones because therapy hasn't worked, but maybe everything is my fault and I just have a flawed personality.
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WHOA! Panic attacks can appear out of the blue, mine floor me. Without emergency medication I wouldn't be here.
If the body is hungry anxiety can spike. Stress, time of year etc. can cause panic. As can the waking hormone, Cortisol: in the early hours, it made me really ill for a while.
Antidepressant medication rarely helps anxiety so maybe an appropriate pill will help. I have beta-blockas to stop the surges and have found 'rescue remedy' mouth spray useful.
One cannot imagine anxiety! A Counsellor once asked me what I thought about B4 a panic attack and she wouldn't get it that actually, nothing. It happens. She also told me to 'remember how you feel on a good day'. I never went back.
Deep breathing exercises can help too as can going to bed or having a warm bath. HORMONES >:( stop blaming yourself!
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Thank you to both of you lovely ladies 💕
Yes, I'm still having periods - once every two weeks on HRT. This one is my withdrawal bleed, so now have a progesterone-free week (not sure if that's a good or a bad thing now!).
CLKD, I hear ya! Unfortunately Rescue Remedy doesn't help me :(. The fluoxetine usually helps my anxiety - the only times the 40mg dose have failed me are right now and when I reduced my progesterone last year.
Do you guys think my anxiety could be hormonal? Maybe I'm just mentally ill.
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What is mental illness? It can cover a variety of symptoms and hormones sometimes make our we feel a lot worse!
Speak to your GP about an anti-anxiety medication?
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Hello Redlocks
I am so sorry that you are suffering so much and you have my sympathy.
I agree with Birdy, many of us on this site will recognise how you feel and are all struggling with hormonal changes.
I wonder if your negative thoughts are more a symptom of health anxiety which is also a feature of the menopause. During my journey I have never worried about my physical problems, probably because they have always been minor and transient. My emotional problems however have dominated my menopause and much like you I have doubted my sanity at times.
I am sure that your hormonal situation is at the heart of your problem. Hopefully some ladies who are knowledgeable about HRT will be along to give you advice.
Hang in there, you are not alone and we are here to support you.
Take care and sending hugs.
K.
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Thanks again ladies, and I'm sorry you have had to deal with this too, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
CLKD - good point! I meant I've been wondering if my depression is fundamentally hormonal or just made worse by hormones. I have managed to get some relief from lorazepam and diazepam, but am hesitant to take them as I'm scared about addiction and doctors are hesitant to prescribe them. I only ever take tablets in addition to my fluoxetine if I'm really desperate. I wonder if there are any natural alternatives that act like benzodiazepines?
Kathleen, I know what you mean - I can cope with pretty much any symptom so long as it's not emotional! I can deal with migraines and cramps as they do pass, but these feelings just drag on :(
I admire all of you for taking time out to help others suffering on this forum. I promise if I find something that works I will shout it from the rooftops! To think I was a functioning human just over a month ago... ???
X
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Nothing that I know of, if you find something do let us know!
The drugs you have been prescribed are for emergency use. Have you actually taken either? 4 me it's that 1 tablet works to stop anxiety in it's actions: either it knocks me out completely so that I sleep and wake well. Or it dulls the anxiety which enables me.
Yep they can be addictive. I have an addictive personalty as well as being impulsive but have never worried about addiction. Because I know that the Lorazapam. Haven't needed 1 for over 12 months even though anxiety has been bothersome occasionally. When it strikes I can be a shivering heap within seconds.
How R U now? The night B4 a bleed I would sob uncontrollably even if a period wasn't due. Depression is different to that an un-affected by hormones. Anxiety is different again, my 1st panic attack was ag age 3 :-\
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CLKD, I have had anxiety from a very young age too, but I didn't have a proper intense wave of panic attacks until I was about 11. Bless you, 3 is so young!
Then the anxiety I was experiencing in my teens gradually got to a whole other level until I needed medication at 18.
I felt like I was having a meltdown on Thursday and Yesterday, but yesterday I started my period and I am feeling a lot better today, maybe even a little hyper. Remind me of this next time I post some panicky ramblings on here!! It's a waiting game and I'm a very impatient patient.
You ladies are amazing, talk about the kindness of strangers! X
PS: I will defo let you know if I find a ‘natural' emergency drug! I've heard CBD is supposed to be good, but I'm a bit cynical as don't know if it's just had really clever marketing (I used to work in marketing).
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Hi Redlocks
I'm post meno and still suffer anxiety. Ok, not as bad as some, but mine was really bad before I went onto HRT. When I get it now, it's not so intense as before.
I actually take an antihistamine when it's bothering me.
I take Benadryl Acrivastatin. You can buy them from the chemist, this one suits me better, although I have tried the others, which either made me feel extremely tired, or gave me dizziness. It's trial and error. I have no problem with the one mentioned. Just one or two, gives me a good break from the anxiety.
I feel for you I really do, it's just awful isn't it.
My doctor wanted to give me antidepressants for it, but because of bad reactions I've had in the past to them, I declined, I'd rather take antihistamines as and when needed.
But please check with your doctor first if you decide to give them a go. You never know.
Good luck. Let us know how your getting on..
And your NOT flawed, it's not your fault. Hormones are little buggers! 😏
Jd xx
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Hello again ladies.
I've just come back to this thread and had another thought. When I've experienced physical meno symptoms I've never worried about them too much as they are obviously meno related. Even the daily headaches I had earlier in my meno journey didn't worry me in themselves even though my mother died at sixty from a brain tumour so you'd think I would have panicked that I was developing the same illness but I didn't. Also, at the time I did not know that after six months they would disappear but of course I was relieved when they did stop. My point is that if something is affecting my body I deal with it much more dispassionately than if it's affecting my emotional state. I think this is because I worry that my personality is being changed by this whole menopause process and that I'll never get back to the person I was. I dread being stuck on this emotional roller-coaster forever, I certainly seem to have been on it a long time already!
A while ago someone revisited the forum to reassure us that all these horrible symptoms do pass eventually. It was great to hear that and I think we all appreciated her post for giving us some hope!
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
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I am absolutely certain that my anxiety and mood are related to hormones. Before menopause, I would become very withdrawn and flat, and have a disturbingly short fuse in the few days before my period. After a few years of ruining relationships, the pattern became apparent and I realized it was PMDD. Now in menopause, I had hoped that with steady dosage of HRT that I could remove the SSRI that I was taking (sertraline/Zoloft). I tried this fall to go off it and it was a complete disaster. I am on continuous HRT to keep things even, but still, there are hormonal ups and downs. Just last weekend I was feeling so flat and grumpy and nasty. I chalked it up to Christmas anxiety. Sure enough, I got a period the next morning. I hate having to use hormones as part of my apology for my behaviour, but it is what it is. Your personality is not flawed. Some brains are wired differently, GABA-receptors and whatnot. If I could control hormone flux entirely, myself and everyone around me would benefit. I don't use this an an excuse, but as an explanation. Once I'm back to feeling like myself, it's clear and my apologies are sincere. But when I'm in the thick of a hormonal episode, that feels just as real and valid. Perhaps switching from fluoxetine to sertraline might help? It is indicated for anxiety.
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Hiya. This is an issue for me too. I keep telling doc that ADs dont help the anxiety. Diazepam works but I've been refused it now. So I resort to taking things like night nurse.
The psychiatrist prescribed me me 50mg phenegran at night. You can get it ovwr the counter. If you are going to take it for the first time I would say take 25 mg to see how you get on.
Its realy not an ideal situation, since the docs have stopped giving benzos.and dont seem to have found anything to fill the gap. I dont want to keep having to knock myself out with 50mg phenegran (it's a pre med dose for surgery. ) it's.k at night but no good for daytime whereas . A low dose of diazepam takes away the physical manifestations of anxiety but I can still function well, during the day.
Has anyone any experience of propanonol?
Xx
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Hello again ladies
When I saw my GP the other day and complained about my mood swings he asked if I had them before the menopause. I said that I recalled having slightly tender breasts before a period and that I often had cramps and diarrhoea on the second day of the bleed but there were no extreme mood swings. However as soon as my period started I felt more relaxed which indicates that some tension had been building up. I now think that I probably did have some changes of mood throughout the month but nothing severe enough to really notice.
I am taking a break from HRT at the moment but I still take the AD Venlafaxine that was prescribed a few years ago. In all honesty I do not know how much it's helping.
Sometime ago another doctor recommended Sertraline but I declined, perhaps now it's time to reconsider, especially if I don't want to retry HRT.
I would say that I feel normal ie my old self about 25 per cent of the time, then I feel my mood rise and I become more upbeat but then it can suddenly change and I experience the dreads and start to panic. This is about the time a hot flush kicks in and I have jitters in my stomach and feet I could cry. After a while all this turmoil subsides but before long the cycle begins again. It's exhausting. Incidentally I know some ladies find that panicky thoughts interrupt their sleep at night but whenever I wake during the night I always feel calm.
I did try Propranolol 10 mcg which was prescribed to treat the palpitations I was having at the time but I didn't notice any benefit. I don't want to jinx anything but my palpitations seem to have faded of late anyway and I'm hoping they don't return.
Sorry to go on ladies and apologies if I've bored you but it's a relief to share these things with people who truly understand.
Wishing you all well.
K.
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Jillydoll, thank you - antihistamines might be the way to go for now! Nothing is helping at the moment apart from low dose lorazepam when needed. I used to feel great when I took 100mg of Utrogestan at night, felt really relaxed and comfortable and ready for each day, but not even the utrogestan is making a difference at the moment :( I'm having a meltdown, and cannot stop pacing.
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Kathleen, that's a good thought to keep in mind: this too shall pass.
I don't know how long it will take to level out again, it's been about 3 weeks now since I went back to 100mg Utrogestan. I'm on my progesterone-free week and feel awful (this past week was especially bad).
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Shannonplussed, I can relate to so much of what you say! Thank you for your kind words - I think my brain is definitely wired differently!! Lucky me :/ I cannot switch off at the moment, just completely lost control.
Trust me, I'm very tempted to switch from the fluoxetine! But I don't want to change too many things at the moment because it might make me feel even worse and I won't know what's causing what.
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Tc, I sympathise! They make you feel like a drug addict if you ask for benzodiazepines, but it's not our fault if the antidepressants and HRT we're taking aren't effective! I wonder if any of those doctors have experienced panic attacks day in, day out for months on end. And I hadn't taken anything extra for the best part of a year - I hadn't felt 100% but I was well enough and didn't feel the need to take anything extra.
If you don't mind me asking, what's the longest period of time you have taken benzodiazepines? You don't have to tell me! When I was last on them I took them for about four months and never needed to increase the dose, and then it all levelled out and I didn't need them.
If increasing the utrogestan has caused me all this pain then I regret that decision!
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And I tried propanolol before but didn't really notice any difference - does it take a while to take effect, like maybe over a few days?
And Kathleen, I'm generally always calmer at night even if I wake up. My pattern at the moment is waking up and quickly experiencing anxiety (when usually I look forward to mornings even though I'm not the best at getting up early!), and then this escalates throughout the day and tends to ease at night. Pretty much every day for the last month, and I cannot distract myself. It's so horrible! What on earth is happening to me...
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And I just want to send hugs to all of you. It's a real struggle and you are all so empathetic and helpful, and I'm touched that you all took the time to write to me, especially at this time of year X :)
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Hi
Yeah, I have a standing script for Diazepam, have had for about 15 - 20 years. I was very ill at a certain point. Anxiety can become psychotic. I'm quite of the opinion, however, that if that were to happen, i.e. a form of psychosis, then most folks would know about it before now.
The DIY knock yourself out thing is antihistamine and alcohol. I wouldn't advise it. I've seen someone almost comatose and requiring an ambulance, but it does work, just have to be careful because you can suppress your breathing too much.
In terms of anything natural, yes, there is, and it's surprisingly effective. Valerian. Don't bother with tablets or capsules. I make tea out of the actual root, together with limeflower and damiana. I saw a herbalist recently, well, I've been seeing them for about three months, and I have a tincture which is heavy on the valerian. Dropped my resting heart rate by 10 and got rid of the cortisol jumping awake at 3.30am thing, plus it sorted the racing palpitations. You can't OD on valerian. Believe me, someone tried. It'll just make you sleep for a week. But, as I say, you need the actual herb, not some rubbish in tablet form.
Best of luck with it.
You're not losing your mind. It's just changing.
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Hey Birdy - that's good to hear, your body has found a level for 2 ddays! which will put you on the right track if you can keep it level. Don't be disappointed if you are not the same tomorrow, it happens, but at least you seem to be on the right track - as you know it takes a while for it to become constant but YES as day without that panic feeling! I'm chuffed to bits for you after all your worries and suffering. From when I turned the corner, I know it felt like a miracle after 5 long years of despair but it still took another 7 months to become really permanent and for my brain to learn to work better after all that time. I think a relearning process occurs and it takes ages for your brain to relearn new things ie don't panic everyday, no need to catastrophise and today will be a good day - Its like learning new habits ::)
Redlocks -I would be like Elkwarning - I use Valarian from a proper health food shop. I use Dormesan Valarian drops in water before bed if I am feeling anxious (usually about an event but it's not as bad as it has been in the past) before bed and a few drops during the day. I have had the pills but the drops seem to work quicker - Works a treat!
I had said before I got rid of all my AD's and pain meds and the GP won't allow any short term use of Diazepam. I have been told my practice just won't prescribe them anymore. I did have a script (must be a year ago now) for 14 tablets every 3 months! because my anxiety was so very bad (as I wrote "certifiable"!) but it doesn't happen now. In fact in the anxiety stakes I am better than I have been in 25 years!
You are still trying to work this out Redlocks and it's still early doors to be honest although it might not seem like it. Birdy has been suffering for more than 18 months (well more I reckon) and been looking for answers everyday. I suffered for 3 years going out of my mind before I got it right and that was 18 months ago but when it comes....well...you wondered how it can be so difficult but it just is - all trial and error but it is possible and we should try any means (probably not the alcohol and antihistimines that elk suggests ;) although I have used antihistimines with the valerian (cant do alcohol that makes everything worse). It can be done - stick with us! xx
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oh I know where you have been Birdy - as you well know from my posts! It's unbelievable that it is possible to go on for so long like that and the time just flys by and before you know it years of your life have been eaten up with "this thing!!" It surprises more and more each day reading on here how women doctors and researchers can allow this to happen to women in the 21st Century but anyway I just want you to know, it may be patchy to start with but no you know there is hope! If you can gave 2 days then you can have more days.
I really don't think that it is either the oestrogen on its own or the progesterone on it's own that does this to us, I think it is the total imbalance in our bodies of all the chemicals and trying to get the balance is like looking for a needle in a haystack. You just have to keep going now and adjust accordingly. I found that once I had had some days the dark places or bad days were not so scary anymore because I then knew that it was possible to have good days! It's a weird psychological thing - it's like retraining a brain! I have everything crossed for you :) :) xx
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It's Christmas Birdy that's what that's what's causing it! ;)xx
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Hello ladies,
I'll get back to your posts later but I just wanted to say hope you all have as merry a Christmas as possible with all these crazy chemicals (!) and again thank you so much for all your support and suggestions.
I managed not to have a full-on panic attack yesterday but I'm struggling again today - I think I feel the pressure because usually I love this time of year!
I've also read that an increase in progesterone can initially make estrogen increase/estrogen receptors more sensitive or something - I don't understand the science but it sounds like there's a tug of war between estrogen and progesterone until they achieve the right balance (homeostasis?). I'm on my first progesterone-free week since I reduced the dose three weeks ago, so I'm hoping it's early days and the panic will subside, but it's so hard at the moment. Sending you all hugs 🤗
X
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And Birdy, it sounds like you've turned a corner? I'm so relieved for you that you have had some relief! X
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Hang on in there Birdy - it just might be patchy to start with! xxx
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Yes, hang on in there, Birdy! I felt much better yesterday and am feeling really low and panicky today - don't be discouraged. You sound like a very strong person.
Back in January I started to feel better after nearly three months of utter hell, then my mood plummeted again in February. It felt almost unbearable but in March I slowly but surely felt better, and kept improving (until after I changed my dose again, gaahhhh! I'm never messing with hormones again!!).
X
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Yep Redlocks - NO MESSING!!! - it it ain't broke, don't fix it! xxx
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Thanks Ladybt28 :)
I'm still so scared and not sure how I can manage in the mean time, as it may take months to recover. Do you think my anxiety could be caused by my hormones? I'll be so relieved if that's what's going on as it will be an explanation and I could possibly do something about it! Like when you feel terrible and find out it's an infection - you know it will pass, and you don't have to ‘think' your way out of the flu, etc.
X
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HORMONES!
How were your moods during your menstruating years?
A sudden rush of hormones can cause anxiety. As can low blood sugar so eating regularly may help. Don't look too far ahead - half a day at a time! I would wake deeply afraid in the early hours :'( until medication kicked in.
Do you keep a mood/food/symptom diary ? Deep breathing can help too - did I explain the various exercises to practice?
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Hello CLKD :)
I'm still menstruating and I always found that I would feel worse before and sometimes during and after a period. Anger, sadness, anxiety, you name it.
I'm sure it doesn't help at the moment that my anxiety is so severe I'm struggling to eat, so I'm just having what I can.
I woke up about 4am last night after having some good nights of sleep, so I can relate to the early hours/morning terror. I actually felt I was slowly getting a little better, so yesterday was a bit of shock for me.
You are so kind and I really appreciate your support :) Did you have a nice Christmas? X
Ps: What deep breathing exercises would you recommend?
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We did have a good few days away. My largest problem is anxiety: which causes me to stop eating completely. I can soon become anorexic.
Deep breathing: from toe to scalp. Tensing each muscle group in turn, hold, relax. Take in a breath whilst tensing, let it go whilst relaxing the muscle groups. All the way up the body to the scalp. Practice 10 mins. every hour.
It can be done in bed; whilst sitting; standing in a queue ........... supposedly focussing the brain on the different muscles. Don't tense too much or you'll get cramp ::)
Definitely hormones. How is your diet in general? Do you have snacking to hand?
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Same here CLKD! And I usually love food, and prefer my figure when I have a bit more weight on me! The panic and agitation are the worst - when I get akathisia it feels unbearable.
Could it still be hormones even if I was an anxious child? Although it got worse with age and I never took medication as a kid and was able to go to school even though I hated it.
I have a phobia of death and of losing everyone, and then I feel guilty because I want to make the most of my time with family and friends - I go off into a whole vicious thought cycle about this but I've found that when my anxiety is under control I can function, switch off, focus, etc.
And my diet wasn't bad but could do with improving - at the moment I'm just having whatever I can manage.
Can I just say it's helped me so much to talk to you, so thank you X
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Eat when you are able to. Lollies? Ice-cream? Dried fruits and nuts? Grazing helps me. Also eating B4 my body needs it - like B4 lunch time rather than later. Keeping the body fuelled helps the brain ;)
Yep. Hormone upheaval. Awful.
In the 1990s my Mum turned 70 and everyone dies when they are 70 don't they :-\. I was terrified. ADs helped. She is 93 now ::). I do worry when Himself is later getting home than planned :'( I've had him dead and buried many a time >:(. When we leave anyone that I care about I say bye in a way that means should they pass on, I won't feel guilty about not being firm in the way I care.
Half a day at a time?
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I like dried fruit :)
I've gotten through today so far without taking any anti-anxiety medication but it's been a struggle. I'm crying because I feel like I'm wasting so much time being scared of everything when I 'should' be appreciating life at the moment. I feel oddly guilty.
And I know exactly what you mean about saying goodbye. I didn't get to say goodbye to my grandma and she was my best friend.
I'm sorry to dump so much on you, Christmas makes me emotional on top of everything else. I wish I could take my mind off things but you're right, I need to take half a day at a time. I started back on my original dose of HRT 4 weeks tomorrow, so I know it's early days, but going through this is exhausting.
You're so kind to keep writing back to me, not to mention patient and funny :) How are you doing?
X
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It's not dumping. It's sharing. Sometimes getting it out of the brain helps relax a bit.
Eat Girl Eat ;-). Get dried nuts, bananas - slow release foods. When you feel better batch cook so that you can have food to hand B4 you need it. If necessary buy ready made from shops to freeze ready to put into the microwave. Building up energy is important and anxiety can knock that back.
Anxiety is normal. It's the flight/fight response to perceived danger. This can be made worse by hormones, upheaval, a job interview .......
If you are struggling why not take a pill? :-\
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Thanks CLKD :)
And I would take something but I'm scared of addiction!! :( only lorazepam helps at the moment...I hadn't needed any help like that for over six months and now feel like I'm back at square 1 again.
I've been getting so many intrusive thoughts and struggling to get out of bed today, even though last night I felt like a human.
Why do so many people feel worse in the mornings? Ive heard that cortisol is up but I can't do anything about that. Is estrogen highest in the morning? When I'm balanced I don't mind mornings.
X
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Take the tablet, that is what it is for! When you feel better your thought patterns will relax. Take it from 1 who knows :-\ ;). If I take 1 it either knocks me out and when I wake I feel well or it relaxes me enough so that I cope.
Cortisol is the waking hormone. My problem is commitment: as the day goes by I feel better as my chores get done and I am less likely to let anyone down. I found that making lists helped and not to say 'yes' to anything in the evening because by morning I would be in a panic about it.
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2 much fibre makes me ill :-\
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Oh that doesn't affect me, it's 'bran flakes' that made me constipated though it was highly recommended by the gastrologist in the 1970s ::).
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Thanks again CLKD and Birdy.
I've felt exactly this way before and it never gets any easier! I'm panicking thinking about how worried I am about my family and loved ones, it's like I'm mourning people before they've gone - it's ridiculous!! :(
Maybe I'm just a hopeless case...I thought I was handling things well until recently, but a couple of months ago I found out that my uncle has Alzheimer's and it's progressed so quickly he may only have a year left.
So I don't know what's hormonal and what's grief. If it's psychological then maybe I should be brave and ‘feel the feelings' I'm getting, but it's so overwhelming. I'm just not really myself at the moment.
Again, thank you for your kindness, and I'm sorry I'm such a pain.
X
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I definitely need to sort out my diet, Birdy. Thanks for the tips :)
I have asked for help but won't get an appointment until mid-January (I know that's not long, but time's going sort of slowly at the moment and I've never really found therapy that helpful as for me the symptoms feel very physical and sometimes the therapists just make me overthink things more).
How have you been doing? It sounded like you had some good days, so even if you dip again it's still a good sign :)
X
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I feel the same - just don't know what to do! It seems it's hard to get the right balance of Utrogestan, and there's pros and cons to the progesterone stage.
Have you got an appointment with anyone lined up? I hope you are safe and got plenty of support X
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Do you remember what combination of HRT worked best for you (or the regime that was the least awful)?
X
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Make lists! Clears the head ;)
I think many go through a period of mourning those still around. I certainly have done. Over that now.
Half a day at a time! DH has made chicken curry, beef curry and mince mix with lots of veg. ;) I can hear him stacking it into his freezer :-*
I LOVE roasted veggies ................ apart from beans, peas etc., the latter I prefer raw in handfuls :D
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Thanks CLKD :) So you don't think I'm crazy?! Could it still be hormonal even with the life events going on? I feel like I'm oversensitive to everything at the moment.
X
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No one is really crazy. Upset. Muddled. Slightly un-stable due to Hormones. Never crazy. Dr Kathleen Daulton did a lot of research on Premensrual Syndrome - which is cyclical. Caused by the various hormones that affect women monthly.
There are specific mental disorders which can be diagnosed by a professional and usually treated successfully.
Your symptoms are hormonal affected by The Change - does what it says on the tin.
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Thanks so much Birdy and CLKD.
I'm seeing my consultant on Friday but it's New Year's Eve and I'm feeling so depressed and in a constant state of panic, which even lasted into the evening last night when I usually feel better.
I took a low dose of diazepam yesterday but it didn't work, only the lorazepam did but I've run out.
I don't want to have to take anything but I'm feeling desperate at the moment.
X
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How much Valium? Your GP Surgery should be open for advice this morning. I was on 10mg Valium 3 times a day for a while, didn't get addicted 'cos it did what it said on the packet: gave me breathing space ;)
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I took 1mg Valium and it made me feel worse.
I was taking 0.5 lorazepam last month and that took the edge off, sometimes 1mg, sometimes 0.25, and didn't need it every day, but the GP won't prescribe it. I don't believe I've gotten addicted before but now I'm scared I'm having withdrawal.
X
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Thank you Clio :) I'm seeing my gynaecologist on Friday so I'm hoping he might at least be able to explain some of the symptoms.
I defo find anything that calms me down gives me some breathing space so I can get other things under control. Last time I was unwell like this I took lorazepam pretty much every day for five months and when I levelled out on the HRT I was able to stop with no issues.
How are you doing? Sorry to be such a downer on New Year's Eve.
X
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A Gynaecologist might know less than a GP >:( so do take that list!
Valium made me feel weird occasionally. Has your GP told you he/she won't prescribe more? By your records he/she should be able to see that you are not mis-using it. If he/she refuses, do what I did: "Hold my hand then as I walk to the edge of a tall building". Worked ;)
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Thank you ladies.
I'm very lucky to have all this support, and was lucky today when I managed to get an emergency appointment with the psychiatrist who put me on the fluoxetine. She's given me some more lorazepam for the short term and trazodone for sleep. I burst into tears when I saw her and she was so lovely.
It's become unbearable since the 27th and I knew I needed help, put if off long enough.
She said I need to focus on treating my mental health rather than my PCOS and PMS.
Clio51, I'm at the point where I think if something helps, take it. You're not a downer!! I think I need to accept that what I have isn't all hormonal. And no problem, I'm 33, so yeah still having periods.
CLKD, I'm not so sure about diazepam either :/ Makes me a bit zombie like, whereas I don't find lorazepam anywhere near as bad and can still feel like ‘me' after I've taken it.
X
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What's the dose she has given you. Mine is 1 I think :-\. I like it when it knocks me out, knowing that when I wake after 3-4 hours, I will feel OK again.
Well done on taking action! What's PCOS ? PMS can be eased by eating regularly. Every 3 hours. Night and day! When I had a puppy and she needed out at 3.00 a.m. she soon learned that there would be a biscuit on my side of the bed ;D
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Hey Redlocks - only just picked this up, haven't been on the forum for about a week! All I can say is about my experience. I was on AD's for over 40 years problems with anxiety and depression and supposedly fibromyalgia or ME (yuppie flu as they used to call it in the late 80's!) However, since going on my meno journey and learning loads and trying loads I came to the conclusion that I had underlying hormonal problems all along since a teenager which just made life plus anxiety (difficult life) much much worse.
So you are not mad! regarding this grieving, worrying ,irrational thoughts about friends and family. Here's what happened to me.
When I was at my worst I could not leave the house or talk to anyone on the phone, nor did I want my family to leave the house! and I was only sleeping about 2 hours a night.
I just thought they were going to die or something terrible was going to happen when they stepped outside the door and regarding the phone I thought I would make a mistake in my job or forget something important in our day to day living which would render us bankrupt or homeless or result in some other irrational catastrophe. I catastrophised 24/7 on the days I could actually get out of bed! I also had the urge to physically run away - which I did, usually in the middle of the night! terrifying my husband and family. I got picked up by the police one night because they were worried about me wandering around and then I tried to pick a fight with them! I had it in my head that I was walking to the airport to visit my one and only friend in England! This kept on for just over a year and to be honest nearly cost me my life! Suppose you would call it a psychotic episode or a breakdown whatever...??? but no amount of counselling or anything else fixed it. I reckon looking back that if our health service had been any good I probably could have ended up being sectioned...UNTILL....my hrt came right 18 months ago...now all gone!!! absolutely all gone!! even a lot of the stuff from 30 years! Sounds impossible but no...that's how it was for me. I wish it could be for everyone else. xxx but what it has done is give me hope for everyone else. xx
Its a question we hormonal women ask ourselves over and over...is it all hormones making an underlying issue worse or are the hormones irrelevant, we need to fix the underlying issue?? In my case, it was the hormones all along but no one clocked it!
If 30 years ago there had been proper credence given to endocrine and hormonal issues (In fairness I have to say that it didn't happen because the world had not moved on to the position it is today because it is only just becoming an area of proper research now but...) my life would have been very different instead I was just drugged up to the eyeballs and put down as a clinically depressed whinger, with varying mental health issues who "had to learn to live with it"!
I am not fixed though entirely because I believe all those drugs and the past issues are still in my head and cloud my thinking somewhat...well 30 years of that must do and it is only coming up 2 years that the change occurred, but I can now deal with stressful situations and have only mild panic episodes that barely register and last less than 15 minutes. I am slowly managing to dump the attitudes of the past I had no control over. I don't have psychotic out of control thoughts and a proper course of AD's hasn't passed my lips in 4 years (I got given a course when one of my sis-in-laws died..not the recent one!) but only manage 3 days before I went "not taking these again"! The underlying thoughts and issues are slowing changing because I am physically and mentally more able to cope. And it is nothing I have had control over that has changed, just the "right" hrt...and don't let anyone tell you they all work the same and should have the same effects on every women because they don't!!!
Clio51- I too thought "it was my personality" - in the last 2 years turns out it "wasn't" and am so very different now than I was for most of my life and my life hasn't changed but I am convinced these imbalances change our thinking and take it totally outside of our control.
None of us are mad, nor "is it just our personality"...what it is something the so called experts are not very expert on putting their fingers on and something that goes on in our heads controlled by the chemicals in our bodies!!! The impact it has on lives is beyond immense and I think womens health should be taken far more seriously for future generations so others don't have to "learn to live with it"!
I don't know that any of this helps either of you but it might put a different perspective on things. Much love xx
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Hello lovely ladies,
CLKD, she prescribed me 1mg lorazepam tablets to take for a couple of weeks (she knows I've been taking them on and off over the last month).
PCOS is polycystic ovary syndrome - some of my symptoms include night sweats before periods (HRT sorted those), excess hair on chin and upper lip (still there sigh) and it's also been linked to anxiety and depression, but there isn't enough research.
And I reckon puppies are the best medicine :-* She sounded like a cheeky little thing! :)
Ladybt28, I will reply to you properly in a bit, but your post moved me to tears. I'm so touched that you shared your story with me and so glad you found something that works for you. Today I'd been feeling that I will never get better, and wondering what the point of anything is (which just makes me feel guilty as I'm not usually like that), and your words made me think twice. Thank you so much.
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Aw.. Redlocks...I lived with that feeling of "it will never get better...I will never get better" for nearly half my life so I know exactly how you are today. It's awful and we try so hard in ourselves to fix it and its beyond exhausting :'( I reckon it's pretty much outside our control but that doesn't seem to stop us. We don't get proper help either). There is not enough research on any of these women's health problems and yet think how many women there are in the world??? I never ever thought I could get "fixed" and I just wish I could find a way to make it work for others who are suffering and it hasn't come right because it is like living in a never ending nightmare and if blokes could live it then I'm pretty sure this hormone thing would have been fixed years ago!
Puppies are a good medicine....I have 2 (not puppies anymore but you know what I mean!) and as for my story...if I were to go from age 14 when it seems to have started, it makes pretty horrific reading and some of it is sounds quite outlandish but I am not afraid to share any of it because I felt so alone before I came here to the forum and I think we cut ourselves off from the world and hide our torment because we feel we will be judged or others just cant understand and think we "should apply some positive thinking" (or some such other rubbish!), so I don't want anyone to experience that desolate hopeless loneliness where everything feels so hopeless so am happy to share and answer anyone on anything.
You just have to keep going...because the alternative isn't an answer either...and it is just possible that the answer is the next thing you try!! xxx
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:bighug: :hug:
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clio? 62 shouldn't rule out HRT if it is carefully managed. Maybe look at the various Consultants, sorry name escapes me ? Louise ?
Don't wait until anxiety takes over, take the lorazepam sooner rather than later to give your brain some relief. Waiting increases the 'should I/not' take it!
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Clio - being too old for hrt or having to stop it at a certain age is old fashioned thinking - as CLKD says there are now progressive and up to date specialist meno consultants who think outside the box and don't go along the lines of the old fashioned constraints. Louise Newsom is the one CLKD can't remember but there are plenty of others out there. You would have have trouble with GP's because most of them don't have a clue and gynae consultants because it is not their field. You would need someone considered cutting edge but don't think its too late for you.
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:thankyou: Ladybt28
If you don't ask you won't get: put it on a bit, tell the GP that you want a referral because you are reaching the end of your tether with symptoms. No GP wants a record of suicide in his Practice ;-).
Maybe keep a diary to chart progress/symptoms. Ring Dr Newson's Clinic and ask if there is help for them?
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Happy New Year to all you wonderful supportive people!! :bighug:
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........ and breath. ........... and eat ;)
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Happy New Year CLKD!
I managed to have a lovely new year despite everything - hope you did too?
I've got a bit of an appetite and managed to get through yesterday without having a full on attack. Took half a 1mg lorazepam today as directed by psychiatrist (she said I could take up to two a day for max of two weeks while I level out) and it's knocked me out! I feel out of it so defo don't think I have built up a tolerance to them at this stage lol. Hopefully I won't need them for too long as I prefer feeling more ‘naturally' calm. At the moment I'm mainly flitting between extreme feelings of horror and panic, or just flat and uninterested, which is also horrible!
Not sure how to feel about seeing Dr Panay tomorrow, he's lovely but I don't know if he will be able to address my concerns :S
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Take your list!
As for Lorazepam knocking you out: well if it was you would be sleeping. Deeply. ;). It takes ages to build up tolerance. Something that has never happened to me in over 30 years as I know they work for me and how I react to them .
Good Luck!
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Hehe, by knocked out in this instance I meant I felt like a zombie and rather dizzy. Thanks for sharing your experience with lorazepam, I know everyone reacts differently but it's interesting how doctors are reluctant to prescribe certain drugs and not others. They're happy to prescribe birth control pills but they're not without side effects - my friend said one of her mates developed seizures after trying a certain brand (can't remember the name). Apparently it took her two years to figure out what was causing them :S
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Also people react differently even with the same drug. After 'valium' for many years without problems, I found it made me feel really weird ::)
Eat whilst you feel better too! Stock up!
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Don't know. I swapped from Valium after years of 'as necessary' use to Lorazapam ..........
DH will mutter Take the Tablet, that's what it is for. ::). He suffers from my anxiety too .......... :-\
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Shorter half life. Lorazepam leaves the body quicker.
My daughter mentioned something to me the other day about breathing. I'd never heard of it before. The 4-7-8 technique. According to my boss, who's a psychiatrist whose specialty is arousal (anxiety and more), the following article sums it up nicely - https://www.vitalheartandvein.com/blog/breathing-techniques-lower-blood-pressure/
Best
EK
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Knowing that doesn't make any difference to the physicality which over-whelms me.
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Hi Redlocks.
You know, it's no coincidence that you first started struggling with anxiety when you were 11. It would have been your puberty hormones gearing up. The very same happened to me - I was always a very upbeat child, but as I turned 10 I started struggling with random tearfulness, feelings of dread etcAnd then starts the draining, cyclical 'reproductive depression/anxiety' that blights so many women, and is often misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder.
But. It. Is. Your. Hormones.
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The more posts I read about problems from puberty the more I realise I'm not the only one and I so wish I knew that many years ago as have always felt like the outsider and have missed out on so many experiences due to anxiety and mental health issues and the shame that came with it. The only time I felt great was whilst pregnant so I guess there was a clue it was hormones at play x
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I have watched 'South Pacific' this afternoon. I saw it aged 11. With a loved Aunt and Mum. At the Odeon, Bristol. I sobbed throughout :'(
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Country girl - I feel the same as you. Looking back, hormones have caused me so much distress since I started puberty. I believe it runs in the family.
My Grandma and her sister both suddenly started 'suffering with their nerves' when they reached their forties. Her sister was so bad that she spent time in a psychiatric ward. Both miraculously recovered in their mid 50s.
My Mum suffered terribly with PMS. For 2 days a month she would cry endlessly.
You mentioned you only felt good when pregnant. That was one of the few questions Prof Studd asked when he diagnosed my reproductive anxiety/depression 'Did you feel good when pregnant?' (yes, I felt great, and very tranquil). He also correctly predicted that I had severe PND too. He said it's all linked to hormonal fluctuations, but most doctors and psychiatrists refuse to acknowledge the link.
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Redlocks - how did it go with Nick Panay today? Thinking of you x
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Hello GypsyRoseLee and Happy New Year:)
Thank you - I'm still struggling with the anxiety and feelings of ‘flatness' today but the consultation went very well.
He said he thinks that if I stay on the 100mcg estrogen patch and take 100mg of Utrogestan for 21 days out of 28, the regime I was originally on, I should improve in about three to four months. I told him I'd been on that dose for just over four weeks without noticing the benefit and he confirmed it was too far early to tell.
So it's an waiting game. He was honest when he said he did not know how much my hormones were causing my anxiety and depression (i.e. whether my issues are caused by endocrine imbalance or psychiatric illness/psychological distress) - I'll have to see how I'm doing around April!
He also said he was glad I saw a psychiatrist because their treatments work faster than HRT. He even said that the blood test results I had were mainly normal (I'll write them up if anyone's interested) but hard to link to moods at any given time because sometimes the symptoms become apparent after any hormonal fluctuations.
As for the progesterone, it appears I'm not an unusual case - he's seen many others do well on the 100mg dose and then not be able to tolerate 200mg, getting various side effects. He also said something about receptors becoming jammed or blocked after high doses of progesterone, but I'm not sure I heard that correctly!
I don't know if any of this is remotely helpful to any of you, but if so then that makes me happy. My next fun adventure is to have a pelvic ultrasound tomorrow, argh!
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Ps: I promise I'll get back to each post later and see if I can help at all - I didn't realise there were so many posts when I logged back in!
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Any experiences are welcome.
GRL - Dr Dalton recognised premenstrual syndrome ...... how hormones affected girls to the point that they committed murder. I think a lot of problems are that there is no empthaty.
Birdy - could you put a Link to this: researchers found that the addictive power of benzos was similar to that of opioids, cannabinoids, and GHB – all substances with exceptionally strong addictive qualities. They believe that as benzos accumulate in the body, they actually alter the structure and function of certain receptors in the brain that make them more susceptible to excitable surges from other neurotransmitters, and further increase and intensify dopamine rushes. . tnx.
Why is my advice not accepted Birdy? I really wish you'd stop advising people to take benzos CLKD! They are potentially very dangerous drugs.
. Ladies ask for advice about specifics and with experience I can offer up my experience. My opinion is valid.
I have never become addicted although I have an addictive personality and am learning more about 'me' every year. But if a GP is responsible, alert and takes care of the patient, support and advice can be given. Most drugs are dangerous.
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clio51, thanks so much for the encouragement - I was so scared to get help as I didn't want to make it more ‘real', and it was really hard but I'm glad I got the extra medicine to help me, at least for the next few months while I see if I can adjust again to the HRT regime I was on originally.
And is it really too late for you to take progesterone if you feel it will help? I've heard of women in their 70s still taking HRT!
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Also clio51, when you described your symptoms I didn't think you sounded ‘dramatic' - it really is that horrible! How have you been this weekend?
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ElkWarning, thanks for the link: I'll have a go! Happy New Year :)
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countrygirl, I sympathise so much with what you said :( And it sounds like you are a classic case of someone with ‘reproductive depression/anxiety'. I'm not sure if mine's an endocrine or psychiatric problem, my gynaecologist isn't either.
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CLKD and Birdy,
I really do appreciate your posts.
Benzodiazepines are of course problematic and affect people differently - when I took Valium as a teenager for two weeks while I got used to my first SSRIs I found it very helpful, but a friend of mine said she became addicted after just two days of taking them.
I don't find them to give me an amazing high, and I felt a million times better when the progesterone was doing its job. Luckily my psychiatrist prescribed me another antidepressant to see if that helps.
CLKD, I think it's always a matter of weighing up the benefits and risks, and quality of life is so important! As you said all drugs are potentially very dangerous, so patients need to have all the information available.
And a belated thanks for the hug! :bighug:
I hope you're both doing ok this weekend?
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