Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: Cassie on November 13, 2019, 09:14:38 AM
-
Ladies I am hearing far too often, of relationships going pear shaped. when the husband/partner turns 60. Once again today, I have heard from a mutual friend who has moved out of her home temporarily as she cannot live with her OH since he turned 60. I noticed subtle changes in mine as well when turning 60, perhaps it is today with dealing with their mortality? I do not feel that enough attention is given to the changes that take place in males as they age, not only physically but mentally. So many of that age tend to have late mid life crises, and often start behaving in ways that are new and can be extremely upsetting to their partners and families.
Have other ladies experienced changes in their men, when turning 60? It seems to be a common phenomenon, I see so many relationships go through turmoil, often the ladies are also in meno and the combination seems to lend itself to troubled waters :-\
-
Yep. Mine is slowly turning into his Dad. I didn't like his Dad much so a bit worrying.
I keep pointing it out to him but he can't see it. ::)
-
Shadyglade ditto. My FIL was miserable and I often think if my husband turns out like him (and I can see the signs) I won't be able to stand it!x
-
Yep. Mine is slowly turning into his Dad. I didn't like his Dad much so a bit worrying.
I keep pointing it out to him but he can't see it. ::)
Mine too, and I absolutely hated his dad, who was a nasty bully. At least he recognises what his dad was, so doesn't want to be like him, but it's hard when it's the only role model they had as children :(
-
I think the answer is a 'man shed'. With power a TV and a fridge. You can just take them when necessary then.
Sorted ;D
-
Many men bury their psychological issues using distraction when they're younger.
When they get to this age they often pop back up due to less time to distract themselves which they've done so well during their younger adult life!
It's a good time for therapy if they're open to it, which can be self help through reading. Many men are rational thinkers and so are good at therapy once they invest themselves in it. Dealing with the ‘I'm not good enough' is always a good place to start.
-
My husband says he is going to retire at Xmas. he has his own business. I am dreading it to be honest. I like my “me†time. he assures me that he has 101 things he wants to do when he stops work like decorating, riding his motorbike, clearing out and possibly selling his workshop. he is always busy and never sits around doing nothing so I am hoping he carries on like that. fingers crossed or there will be trouble! ;D
-
Well my mother got along with OH's father, however I have spent the last few years trying to ensure that I am nothing like my mother and plan to continue doing so. She made OH's father look like a saint.
Definitely thinking the man shed is the way to go, preferably with a full bathroom and somewhere he can sleep!
-
Our situation is different in that OH works from home and I go out to work.
So I'm quite used him being there all the time and like it that's he's always got the kettle on when I come in at lunchtime and he makes the tea while I make my lunch ( don't get back until after 2pm so he's already had his lunch) we then sit and chat while I have my lunch then he goes to back to work.
I actually rather like him being there although he does go out and play golf and also goes running. But he's handy for bringing in the supermarket shop from the car, and lifting and shifting thing when needed.
So in our case he's probably dreading me retiring 😂
Lanzalover x
-
Nope.
Retirement couldn't get here fast enough - we are now doing the things together that we planned 4 when we got together in 1970.
But we haven't children to consider. Which can split families as specific gender roles take place. Parents then lose track of themselves as individuals as well as in togetherness.
Hobbies: even those I don't take part in I go along to ........ so when DH is fishing I go bird watching.
-
Joined at the hip. Us ::)
I get your point but ...........
-
My husband worries me. If I popped my clogs tomorrow he'd be stuffed. My sons have told me that I can't go first and have to take better care of myself. ::)
-
We have chores each - he doesn't do anything in the utility room but could - if pushed ;) etc.; he cooks, can wield a hoover, floor mop ........
-
We have chores each - he doesn't do anything in the utility room but could - if pushed ;) etc.; he cooks, can wield a hoover, floor mop ........
Can he come and teach mine ;D
-
It's easy ;D .......... hand him the machine and show him how ?
He often tells me that he is going to hoover - I tell him to stand it ready one day; switch it on the next; push it round the room the next day :whist:
Has mine changed. Apart from a beer belly >:( not a lot. Thinning hair, to be expected. Looks better than contemporaries of his age :-* ;) ....
-
;D CLKD your DH sounds like mine. He gets out the hoover, plonks it somewhere that he intends to hoover and there it stays, unless I do something. The intention is there......but? He does want to help me particularly as I have little energy, well the intention is there!
My DH is far more romantic and loving now than he ever was when we were young. He rarely showed me affection in public and was shocked when I was upset because he ignored our first wedding anniversary. Now he makes a card, that becomes more elaborate each year. He's booked a table in our favourite restaurant already (somewhat necessary as it's just before Christmas). He didn't have a role model in how to be in a relationship though. His father disappeared to Australia when he was little, leaving poor memories and his stepfather didn't get involved with parenting or being romantic with DH's mum. Now he's a great big softie.
Man caves are essential. My son's old bedroom has been converted into his office. He spends a lot of time in there, working, researching, exercising and generally keeping out of trouble! We both like our space, but we like being around each other as well. Affection is shown in so many little ways. Cuddles, chatting, making cups of tea, just being kind and considerate.
We do a lot of things apart and have separate interests, but we make sure we do some things together. I don't think I ever had unrealistic expectations of a relationship. I knew what I didn't want and what I needed. He can be annoying, but then so am I! ;D I couldn't cope with someone who was perfect! Cos I'm not!
-
I must admit I love a day out by myself. My husband likes to cram as much activity in as possible. By the time we get home I'm exhausted. I like to do things slower and be more spontaneous.
-
Mine reversed into our full garden waste bin. It was at the bottom of the drive and was knocked clean over. Luckly no damage.
He has previous. Last time he took out a wing mirror
::) ;D