Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Other Health Discussion => Topic started by: racjen on July 28, 2019, 07:55:56 AM
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Well it finally happened, a few upsetting things piled up and I just couldn't cope anymore. So yesterday I took an overdose - ended up in Torbay Hospital all day, then they turfed me out to call a taxi and find my own way home in my PJs at 11pm. I obviously didn't do my research well enough, or I'd have been coming home in a hearse. Now at home with 'support' from Crisis Team will probably have to go and stay with my Mum as my daughters can't cope with anymore of this.
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Oh racjen, I'm so desperately sad to hear that for yourself but also the family & I have to say so glad it was unsuccessful (I'm not sure that's maybe what you want to hear now as everything will be so raw). Unfortunately as I'm sure you know the NHS is extremely poorly equipped in relation to mental health support, good at initial life saving but the after care, poor. I hope the crisis team are supportiive and you get the long term support needed and whatever decision is made re staying with your mum or not that it is right for you. Give yourself some affection and time out & talk, don't keep in all inside, remeber there are people who care about you & are willing to listen, you just have to be honest. x
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Hello racjen.
I'm so sorry to learn that you were driven to this course of action.
The NHS has been underfunded for years and it's always the people in need of care that pay the price. My only hope is that now you qualify for a more appropriate treatment and that you finally get the help that you need and deserve.
Please keep posting so that you can receive all the support we can offer. You are not alone.
Sending hugs and warm thoughts.
K.
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So sorry to hear about this and hopefully you can get the help that you so desperately need, my partner had to be admitted to MH ward and the crisis team were very good with support after he was discharged.
How old are your daughters? If you are able to stay with your mother i personally think that is a good thing, my children were badly affected by my partners breakdown. So if you can help shield them a bit please do....please do not see that as a dig at you as i know it is nothing you have control over. Take care x
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Dear Racjen - this is terrible. I don't know what to say, other than to echo the sentiments of the ladies above.
I'm sending you all my very best wishes, Agatha C x
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I'm so sorry racjen. I wish I could give some words of comfort, I feel so inadequate. I hope they can do something to help you feel better. Hopefully your mum will be there for support. :hug:
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If you feel ill again ring the Samaritans or your GP?
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So sorry to hear about this and hopefully you can get the help that you so desperately need, my partner had to be admitted to MH ward and the crisis team were very good with support after he was discharged.
How old are your daughters? If you are able to stay with your mother i personally think that is a good thing, my children were badly affected by my partners breakdown. So if you can help shield them a bit please do....please do not see that as a dig at you as i know it is nothing you have control over. Take care x
My daughters are 19 and 23, still finding it distressing but at least they're old enough understand what's going on.
The Crisis Team have just been - they offered a bed in a very small crisis psychiatric unit for a week. That'll give us all some brathig space and decide what we do next.
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If you feel ill again ring the Samaritans or your GP?
I've phoned Samaritans a few times, and turned up at my GP with masses of paracetemol which I then panicked about. The trouble is, helplines are great but you have to go through the whole story again and again - I'm fed up with it and in the end it doesn't take the problem away :'(
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Dear racjen
So sorry to read this hopefully now you will receive the help and support you so desperately need, and remember there are lots of people on here who care about you.
Sending love and good wishes
Love Lanzalover x
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I found having to repeat tiring. Never got the same person - that's so the supporters don't build up a 'relationship' with those in trouble but to have to repeat didn't seem logical to me. In those days Samaritans didn't keep notes ........ now there are walk-in centres.
Get those jamas packed and give yourself a break.
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Oh racjen, there is nothing I am going to be able to say that will make you feel better except I am sending much love and positive wishes that you can find someone in our broken NHS that can help you without you having go over and over and over the situation. With my husbands mental health problem it was like looking for a needle in a haystack to find someone "who actually got it"!! Take the bed and keep talking - you feel like you are a burden to your family but it is nothing like the burden it would be if they lost you to suicide. They love you and we love you - however your are - everyone just wants you to be better. :bighug:
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Well it finally happened, a few upsetting things piled up and I just couldn't cope anymore. So yesterday I took an overdose - ended up in Torbay Hospital all day, then they turfed me out to call a taxi and find my own way home in my PJs at 11pm. I obviously didn't do my research well enough, or I'd have been coming home in a hearse. Now at home with 'support' from Crisis Team will probably have to go and stay with my Mum as my daughters can't cope with anymore of this.
Really sorry to read this. I hope things are starting to improve. Sending you home alone at 11pm sounds unacceptable!
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Racjen I'm not great with words & find it hard to say right thing, sending you lots of hugs, sending you home at 11pm and not checking whether someone will be at home is unacceptable, even though the NHS are understaffed & not always able to deal with mental health patients. I'm really sorry to hear you got to that point, but I have been there about 25 years ago now (early 20's) was kept in hospital for 2 nights, saw a psychiatrist twice and that was it. There were no crises teams in those days you were left to deal with it. I really hope you get all the help you need.
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I believe racjen has gone 'into care' ;) so hopefully will be listened too.
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Oh Racjen
So sorry to see this ☹️
I hope you've taken up the offer of the bed in the unit, and that you're getting the help you need.
Sending lots of hugs xx
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R U home again :-\
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Just wanted to reassure you all that I'm in a crisis unit with very supportive staff. Crisis team & consultant coming to see me tomorrow _ not currently on any ads but convinced prozac tipped me over edge. Thanks to all for your support x
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So get back to resting and stop worrying about us!
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Hello racjen.
Thank you for getting in touch. I'm so pleased that you are getting the support you need. Hopefully this treatment will be a turning point for you and I wish you well.
Take care and sending hugs.
K.
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Racjen. I dont know why i missed this whole thread or I wouldve replied sooner. I hope you get the care you need and deserve now. And all I can do is send my love ❤ get well soon racjen. My heart goes out to you. Xxxx
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They gave my husband Prozac once and he punched a bloke at work and lost his job. It sent him crazy in a bad way. His temper was off the scale. I am so glad that you are off those now and there are some proper people looking after you racjen.
Sending much love xx
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Glad to hear you're being supported - hope things gets better for you :bighug:
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Thank you so much for keeping us in the loop - love and hugs 🥰🥰
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Just wanted to send you hugs racjen and hope you are doing ok x
Flo
:bighug:
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Just checking in with all you lovely women. I'm doing ok, still in the crisis support house but getting a little bit better everyday - even had a swim in the sea on fri :) I know you won't believe me but it was really warm! Going home today for my daughter's 23rd birthday, staying the night then coming back here for one last night - final discharge planned for thurs, all being well. Feeling v nervous about how i'll feel once I get home, but am in a more positive place. Small steps...xxx
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Fantastic news, so nice you are going to get to see your daughter on her birthday.
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Great racjen. Wish you all the best xxx
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What support will you and the girls get after discharge?
I haven't swum in the sea since I was about 11 and that was to keep up with a boy I fancied ;D
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Hi racjen
This is good news hopefully soupport systems have been put in place for your return home.
Take care
Lanzalover x
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Fantastic news. Glad you're going home for your daughter's birthday, hope it goes well & small step to being home permanently.
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Brilliant news Racjen.....keep going girl....
Wishing you all the best, and enjoy your daughters birthday....
Xx
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That's great news racjen, happy birthday to your daughter! Glad you are feeling more positive & hope you have ongoing support after discharge. x
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Aw Racjen so sorry to hear how horrible you've been feeling. Hope this break does all good for you xxx
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Wonderful news Racjen - have a wonderful time with your daughter xx
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Remember there are lots of us sending love and support racjen, you've done so well so far, lots of us taking baby steps together = success
Padine xx
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Hi everyone, I'm home! Been discharged today and feeling good. Just been phoned by my mental health care co-ordinator to arrange a meeting - didn't even know I was getting one ;D. Good to be home. Love to you all xxx
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I need more info racjen! Tell me more when you have time please! So very happy to hear from you. ❤️
What do you want to hear about? I'm happy to tell you the whole sorry tale in detail if you want, but maybe there's something specific you're wondering about? PM me and I'll spill whatever beans need spilling ;D xxx
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OK, let's see. I took my whole week's supply of diazepam (I'm on 14mg a day so that's a LOT), three packs of Prozac (30 tabs in each I think) washed down with a bottle of wine. They got me to hospital within a few hours and monitored me but there was no need for anything horrible like stomach pumping, just had very low blood pressure so needed fluid drip for a while. Was discharged that night, Crisis Team came the next day and suggested I go into this Crisis support place. Amazing place - just a house with 4 private bedrooms, lounge, kitchen etc. Support staff were on duty 24 hrs a day so whenever I needed to talk, cry, have a complete meltdown, someone was there to hold me. And I did spend the first 3 or 4 days crying, racked with guilt, beating myself up, but they talked to me a lot and very slowly I started to feel more positive, so then they started taking me out on little trips, but always very gentle, at my pace.
So after about 3 days the Crisis Team brought a consultant to talk to me about onward plans. I had been drinking very heavily, gradually it had built up to at least a bottle of wine a day, often more and earlier and earlier in the day. So he said we have to tackle that before we can do anything else, because it's causing a lot of the mood problems itself. I'd got into a self-destructive spiral where alcohol was the only thing that gave me relief from the anxiety and depression, but in the long term it was actually feeding it. No alcohol allowed in the crisis house, so I haven't had a drink for 10 days and so far I don't miss it, I can feel the difference - both anxiety and depression have lessened dramatically. We agreed that ADs are really bad news for me so I'm not on anything else apart from diazepam at the moment, will have to tackle that dependence once I'm on top of the alcohol one. I'm still on Evorel 100 and continuous Provera and that seems to be working better for me than bloody Utrogestan too.
Ongoing - I have my own mental health care co-ordinator, I have support from an alcohol support service, I have my lovely GP just down the road, and if I feel I'm going downhill I can contact the Crisis Team or my GP. Plus lots of lovely friends very nearby. And if it gets bad again I can go back into the Crisis house. They were the most compassionate, lovely people, all with different backgrounds and different bits of advice and help. I felt safe and looked after and I learnt a huge amount about keeping myself well.
That's probably enough for now, I could write a whole essay but I need some dinner! Big big kiss to you too darling xxx
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Lovely to hear from you racjen. I'm so pleased you have had such a positive/supportive experience from the crisis team & the support place, so often it is not the case. Glad to hear you are feeling improvement since not drinking, hopefully that will encourage you to continue & especially when you don't feel like you are missing it. Take care & make the most of the 'lovelly friends, compassionate lovely people' surrounding you. x
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Alcohol is a very powerful depressant - my son is to all intents and purposes a functioning alcoholic but doesn't think he consumes too much because he only drinks in the evening and not during the day but it creeps up on you and he is on maximum AD's but if he is with me he cuts down his drinking and feels better but then when he goes home...off he goes again!
I am so happy you feel better and have had the proper people to look after you...I'm praying that everything continues to be ok now you are home....at least should something come at you at left field you have the right people to support you and a place you can go if something becomes to much.
We were worried about you racjen and have missed you here. :bighug:
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One of the support workers was an ex-alcoholic, had got to the point where he was drinking a litre and a half of vodka a day. Then also got diagnosed with bi-polar. That was 7 years ago, and now he's doing fine and helping other people. Talking to someone who got thru that really helped - if he could win out from that then I can beat my problem, especially with the support I'm getting.
I'm doing fine, went to my yoga class yesterday and then for coffee with all my yogabuddies, and I'm smiling and laughing for the first time in ages. I know it'll go up and down, but I've got a list of strategies as long as my arm so fingers crossed I'll be OK. And also, I have to say that Provera is suiting me much better than utrogestan - can't say the anxiety has gone completely but it is much much less than before.
I'm so touched by how much you all care, thankyou lovelies xxx
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That's really great news Racjen. Enjoy your weekend. x
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Lovely to read your recent post Racjen xxx😘
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I'm so glad things are looking up for you.
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Great news racjen enjoy your weekend.
Lanzalover x
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Thanks everyone - now happily installed at my brothers in Sidmouth for a couple of days of sea air and film watching. Just watched 'Eddie the Eagle' - had forgotten what a great film it is x
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Just had a swim in a very choppy sea at Sidmouth - bliss! Nearly two weeks off the booze and I can honestly say I have absolutely no desire to drink, feel so much better without it. Buying myself a reward every week I stay dry - this week's is going to be a vintage Led Zep t-shirt, 2nd hand from Ebay. Can't wait ;D xxx
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what a great idea racjen re buying a weekly reward, will hopefully keep you motivated & the fact that you are feeling an imporvement in your health. Good for you re swim, not a day for it here in Scotland! x
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Not only did they send me home, they just looked at me and said 'how are going to get home then?' It was 11pm, I was in my PJs and had only my phone, nothing else. Ex-husband was too exhausted to come and get me, so I had to get a taxi home (£25) and get my debit card from the house to pay him. Unbelievable. think I'm going to make a formal complaint....x
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So sorry to hear what you've been through, but glad things are looking up now. Well done!
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Such wonderful news racjen ❤️❤️❤️
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Hi Racjen
I've just read your whole thread. So, so sorry to hear that you got the point where you overdosed, but was really happy to read your story, and that things are improving for you, and you are getting the support you need. I spent a weekend in Sidmouth lately, it was fabulous. The walks were very challenging though, all those cliffs!
I was also really interested in your bits about alcohol. I feel like I am at the other end. I rarely drink, but just lately I have been having a glass or two (not more) on a Saturday night, and can suddenly understand why people turn to alcohol. My anxiety goes away for those few hours, and I just don't care anymore. I know its a terrible thing to think, but I could so easily just do that all the time.
how awful that they sent you home like that! My sister lives in Torquay, and I am shocked. When we compare notes on GPs and stuff, the service always seems much better down there.
Keep going racjen, you are doing brilliantly :-)
Much love
Jeepers xx
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Thanks Jeepers. I have to say that my experience of Torbay hospital has been mixed, it's also where I I had my cancer and the breast care unit is very good, but the A & E dept was pretty grim, but then I suppose they are under an awful lot of pressure. IAs far as the alcohol goes I can honestly say I'm not missing it; my mood is better, depression almost vanishes and anxiety much reduced. I could feel a difference within days of stopping and it's gets better and better the longer I'm off it. It'll be a month next Monday, and as it happens I'm going to my uncle's 80th birthday party so will treat that as a celebration for me too! xxx
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Well done Racgen,so please to hear you are doing so well.
Never was a huge drinker, and I now drink a lot less than I did previously, but when I do indulge it makes me feel rubbish.
Just back from Greece and had more than I would usually, did feel a bit crap a couple of times. Best not to indulge.
Off to Nice later today, I will keep myself in check. Feeling more normal and not upsetting the meno beast is way better than short lived pleasure of alcohol.
Keep well❤️