Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: CLKD on March 12, 2009, 08:27:00 AM
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>:( has stated ruled my life, I had my first panic attack at age 3 related to it ...... I became anorexic. Mum kept me alive on Rainbow Drops [chocolate buttons] ...... took me to a Dr at age 5 who told her that I 'woudl grow out of it' ... well I'm still waiting to grow ??? .... I have talked it through with many professionals but rarely friends as one night when vomiting [aged 8] I asked Mum to call the Dr and she told me that "the Dr would laugh" so, if the Dr will laugh the chances are that others will too. So it's been hidden. Even now.
There was a group in the UK called 'gut reaction' begun by a lady in Ross on Wye - her initial letter to me was as though I had written it myself. Every experience, every word ......... I hated school. In case I was taken ill [I never was in school or College], or in case others were poorly. I did manage to go on school bus trips to Dovedale or by train to London, even then at least 1 child would be ill or turn pale ......... :o but there were always teachers to deal with them. I can remember clearly every incidence of a child being sick in class and when I'm queasy it's those visions that return >:(.
Because I didn't eat properly my gut eventually gave up pushing food through my system. On 13 June 1998 I cracked up, I felt SO ILL ........ my Dr diagnosed irritable bowel syndrome and gave me medication to help kick start my spasm and after 4 days I felt a different person. The phobia continued however. In 2002 I was given beta-blockas to stop that adrenaline surge which causes my stomach to be queasy and I have begun to live again.
Apart from not being able to go to the theatre Hubby and I have a life once more. I still have my survival kit: when travelling by car I have a plastic box near my feet 'in case'; when shopping I have a plastic bag in my back pocket 'in case'; I also know where every bin or thick cardboard box is in each shop ::), 'in case' ......... when in a supermarket I mark where the flowers are stored and the household section where there are buckets 'just in case' .............
Do you realise how many food adverts are in magazines? I didn't until I tried to flip through one when I was queasy at night to divert my thought patterns :bang: :bang: :bang: and how many food adverts are on TV .......... how important food preparation is World Wide, I got so I didn't go out to eat because I know how much time people take over food and then to turn up and tell them I'm not hungry :-\ .......
Waffling done, off for brekkies. :bighug: for your daughter .........
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Hello CLKD
I can only imagine how awful it is and how difficult it must be to have a phobia such as yours, i have fears/phobias of certain thing like a lot of people probably do but nothing that has been as debilitating and from such a young age.. Was there something that sparked the phobia off?? I can understand how you how not felt able to tell a lot of people that you know as its not the kind of phobia that a lot of people are familiar with,unlike the more recognized ones such as spiders,small spaces,etc etc.. Glad with the help of beta blockers that you have felt able to have a life again.. :bighug:
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Thank you. I was intubated as a baby so reflexes of fear or flight began immeidately so CBT didn't help as my habit is so engrained. Often when I feel sick it's because my gut is hungry but the fear strikes making it impossible to even be in the kitchen! I have 'safe' foods too ....... and will only eat certain things that Hubby cooks for me ....... I can make toast though ;)
Phobia can dominate every aspect of life, it even terrorised me in my dreams ........
My sister in law is afraid of spiders, she threw a Scholl [remember those] on top of one but it wasn't until I called in 3 days later that we found it dead; she hadn't been into that room just in case ......... buttons, kittens, string, flying, being trapped, the feel of velvet .......... the creepy crawlies is logical, it goes back to our cave man days when we didn't know what was lurking in that deep, dark space that we called 'home'. It doesn't make the fear any less ............. logic flies out the window when fear strikes >:(
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CLKD - your post is interesting. I have gone through periods of having a phobia of being "ill" when staying with relatives etc. What interests me is the fact that you carry bags with you (just in case) you have a plastic thing in the car and know where thick cardboard boxes are etc. To me this sounds as if you are not so much worried about vomiting but more about the mess it will make in front of other people. I know that sounds strange but having bags and knowing where receptacles are will not stop you vomiting but will make it less unpleasant for others.
My phobia is because I don't want to let people down i.e. becoming ill when they have put themselves out to cook me a meal or make my room nice for me or arrange trips out. It is the fear of putting people out and upsetting them which, after a lot of counselling, I have managed to unravel. Being out of control is also part of it and your body is certainly out of your control when suffering either sickness or diarrhoea.
Just wondered what you thought.
Taz x
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Fears/phobias is an interesting subject, i think that lots of people must have a phobia about something and do not always know where the phobia has come from or how its developed. I have a fear of not being in control and not being able to cope,will not go in lifts for fear of being trapped,hate flying, dislike high rise buidlings,like to know where the exits are whenever i am in particular places.. I have had cbt and counselling and although it sometimes helps to talk, i do not feel that the therapy has cured me... I cannot remember any incidents from childhood or as an adult that have caused my fears/phobias,infact i do not remember anything much before the age of about 11, only odd bits and pieces.... Its interesting CLKD that your phobia began because you were incubated as a baby and that it affected you so deeply and has stayed with you all this time,from such a young age our memories can obviously consciously and subconsciously remember things that can have a deep and lasting effect........
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Yep - upsetting people is one of the reasons I look for a recepticle, easier to clean up 'if' ....... and I still avoid going to eat with friends unless we meet at a Pub where they haven't had the responsibility of cooking .......
When I have turned up for an evening at a friend's house and told them I'm not hungry I get "Oh you didn't eat before you came?", or "You must try this I made it specially" or "You must have a little you will fade away" .......... >:(: I saw my Dad repeating this trick with his Grandson then aged 3, who didn't like to be thrust into a room with people he didn't know - it was 'just a little bit for me' or 'try this you like potatoe' ....... my sister was so busy guttsying food down that she didn't have to pay for that she never noticed but it made my skin crawl ......... 1 because she didn't notice and 2 'cos Dad although being 'kind' was repeating old habits ........ the grandchildren didn't know us from Adam and it reminded me of when we met family at Grandma's for C.mas none of whom I saw from one year to the next but they threw me up in the air or pulled me onto their laps - no wonder I was ill every C.mas :-\
I was born weighing 3lbs 4 oz. Straingt into an incubator. Failed to thrive child. So they stuck a tube up my nose into my stomach to withdraw the contents 3 hours after each meal ........... to see how much my gut was absorbing. Intubation must have been traumatic hence the phobia. But knowing what might have caused my panic attacks and dealing with such early memories has been impossible to sort. Because the fight or flight response kicks in ..........
The container in the car is a 'tuppaware' type long cereal box with lid and smaller lid, ideal for putting rubbish into whilst travelling or for whipping off the lid 'if' ....... in Hubby's car I have a bucket in a bag which folds down small enough to carry in a shopping bag .......
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Hello CLKD
Sorry you must go through all this..
What I read above brought to my mind the book I have read when dealing with my fear attacks (encouraged by progesterone) some time ago. Lots of very useful stuff in it. Perhaps it will help you too?
Amazon link: click here (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0007246595/menopausema0e-21)
Big hug from me!
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Thanks for the idea. Thanks for the hug!
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I am SO ill. I had dental surgery on Tuesday which left me in a lot of pain by Wed. afternoon, saw the dentist again yesterday morning who advised strong pain relief and an anti-biotic. Which hit my stomach, caused massive heart-burn and came back up again after 2 hours. FEAR. I know I ought to eat and Hubby has stayed home because I'm not safe to be alone. Bless him. That adds to the guilt as he watches me trying to eat the toast with honey he's made. I keep reminding myself what I would tell others but can't get into gear. FEAR++ that if I eat I will feel worse. No logic in that Ilived like this for over 20 years and once the beta-blocka kicked in, felt a whole lot better.
I shake. I need to cry but can't. I need to eat but can't. I want to crawl into a hole and sleep until the symptoms go away but of coufrse, my system is empty so those feelings won't go unitl I've eaten :'( I looked for the rescue remdey bottle but can't find it >:( .......... I've got to eat, I've got to eat, I've got to ........
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Oh CLKD, so sorry to hear this. :hug:
I'm so glad that hubbie has stayed at home to look after you. I remember struggling to eat a couple of years ago (also with OH watching me and looking dreadfully worried) but that was lack of appetite and I'm lucky in that being sick doesn't worry me.
Hope you feel better as the day goes on.
Bette x
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Poor soul, hope you are able to feel better as the morning progresses, it can be a viscous circle of not wanting to eat and be sick or eating and being sick. Did you find your Rescue Remedy?
Did anyone see this article about the fear of the dentist?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/7879301.stm
Eddie. x
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Didn't find the Rescue Remedy >:( ......... I nibbled from 7.30 until 9.45 then my stomach began to feel queasy even though logically it's hungry so have had a doze on the settee with F1 practise in the background. Hubby keeps handing me various items of food to try :-* he has to bully me at this stage :'( ........ once I woke up we had a walk round and planned the next stage in our garden whilst I was munching Rich Tea and I have 1 and ahalf biscuits to munch now. He's making me a chicken/ginger/garlic mix for tea ??? FEAR is a huge driving force in this in that I don't recognise when my stomach is hungry and when it's ill. :'( I'm shaking all over as I type .............
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I still feel vulnerable. Hubby made me a lovely chicken mix which whilst cooking turner my stomach but I ate small amounts all afternoon until Imanaged an almost 'proper' tea. He kept me busy all day, or outside watching the tadpoles and fish in our ponds, anything to stop me getting introspective.
I no longer feel like I want to die. The only way I can get rid of the awful physical feelings is to eat - which is impossible at the time and this can go on for weeks; or sleep which I was unable to do due to the facial pain.
Pain is still present but no longer constant. I've taken my anti-biotic and it stayed put; I've eaten a small breakfast and swalowed my AD and beta-blocka to stop the anxiety surges. I need to take a walk this morning to try and clear the headache.
Thank you so much!
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I do feel for you CLKD. I have this phobia too. I can pin point where it started in childhood but this one is about you and not me.
As you say little and often. The fear of being sick is worse than the actual event for me, and others being sick is my big thing. Not a wonderful thing to have when you have kids.
You hubby is a star...you are a lucky lady. Hope things continue to improve for you. In a few days you will be back to normal.
:foryou:
Honeyb
x
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He is a Star. He was begging me to eat half a biscuit whilst I was laying on the floor wanting to die :'( [just for me] ..... I could have kicked him actually ::) 'cos we've lived this life before >:( and 'just' doesn't come into it. However.
We had the walk, sat by the river and watched wild birds; I was tired but not uncomfortably so: he's had his camera out round our pond since lunchtime [which I managed to eat], taking photos of small damsels mating and laying eggs in our pond: my gut is rolling now though through a dose of anti-biotics and 2 Nurofen :-\.........
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Now I've got heartburn which is how the medication in my gut began to come back up on Thursday ....... so I've drunk an Actimel to be ready for my evening meal. I do hope that I don't get panic feelings every time I get heartburn now .......
You see I don't actually know how my body works once food is in my gob! ::) even reading my very good Dorling Kindersley book on antomy doesn't tell me what I expected to see. My stomach doesn't seem to be where it should be in the book :o either that, or stomach upsets aren't in the stomach but are further down 'cos I feel queasy round my belly button area. When fear settles there it's tight, queasy, can't eat, dry mouth ......... but according to my Very Good book my stomach is higher up ::) ???
Heartburn however is a whole different place >:(
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Which antibiotic are you on CLKD?
Taz x
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Eyrithromycin 4 times a day but can only fit in 3 at the most. Otherwise hearburn >:( as well as the other meds I have to take to keep me stable.
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Antibiotics can make you sick. Can you not just take paracetamol rather than nurofen. Bump up the paracetamol to three rather than just two. They are easier on the tummy.
Its the pills that are making you sick. I think a lot of us would be the same.
Can you phone NHS direct for some advice.
Honeyb
x
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I phoned NHS Direct late on thursday night. I found the paracetamol upset my stomach as do the ABs. Nurofen has never been a problem for me.
Off to take some rennies ::) - I could only eat half my meal earlier because of the burning in the gullet and upper stomach.
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Maybe a change of ABs then. What were you on before because I think you got on ok with them. I know you should not stop and start courses, but I would be inclined to stop until I could get something different.
Honeyb
x
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CLKD - Erythromycin is notorious for causing vomiting. I really think you should ask for a change of AB if possible. I have the same phobia as you, it's horrible. My OH went out with a friend last week and had too much to drink before stumbling over to my place. I wouldn't let him in because I knew he would probably be sick! (I did give him a lift home though, not that mean...)
So I know how you feel. Best wishes for a speedy recovery :hug:
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Lift home >:( he would have walked! :foryou:
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Lift home >:( he would have walked! :foryou:
I'd have put him in a taxi.
How you feeling today CLKD?
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Erythromycin is really bad for stomach problems CLKD. What I found was I had heartburn after taking them for the first three days and then after I began vomiting as it built up in my system. I had to have an anti-emetic injection to stop it and was told that I really should have stopped taking them as soon as the heartburn was a problem. Also make sure that you don't take any indigestion remedy within two hours either side of the antibiotic - it is not advisable as it affects the way it works. http://www.patient.co.uk/medicine/Erythromycin.htm
Taz x
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I've stopped the ABs and the Nurofen seems to be controlling the stabbing sensations.
Taxi! Wouldn't wish *that* on any Taxi driver ;) - nope, he would have walked and sobered up by the time he reached home >:( in fact I've been dreaming about car sickness, not me but passengers! We rarely have passengers in our car because of the risk that they might turn :sick02: ......... and there are always plastic bags or buckets close to hand, in case.
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CLKD,
Thinking of you :hug: Hope you will soon feel better.xx
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Just came across your post and how sad for you CLKD and what a constant uphill battle you must fight everyday. I say this gently because some take offense but have you had any professional help what so ever?? My sister has suffered from eating problems all of her life along with some other problems, the worst being she developed MS at 28 years. She found a wonderful woman who she sees regularly to help out when things become to much and she becomes very self destructive. Anyway big hugs to you and I pray you will find peace sooner rather than later. Annika xxx
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Erythromycin makes me sick too
Hope you soon feel better and can get some different ABs. :hug:
ariadne xx
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Sorry to read you're still not feeling 100%.
Unfortunately, Erythromycin is one of the antibiotics most likely to cause a tummy upset - at either or both ends. The other one to avoid at all costs is metronidazole: I don't think I know anyone who's had that and not been sick.
The one and only antibiotic group I will take are the cephalosporins including Cefaclor and Cephalexin. They#re not generally prescribed for 'mild' infections but if I need an AB then I sit tight and refuse them all apart from these. It frustrates my GP but it's a case of that or I'd prefer to live with whatever infection I have.
I hope you'll be feeling much better very quickly.
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You know someone now Karen! I had metro whatsit for a dental infection last December and I was convinced I would suffer all the side effects as the dentist went into great detail as to what could happen but how important it was to keep taking it. Anyway it didn't affect me digestively at all but I did get some of the other side effects such as bladder problems. I swallowed each pill straight after food with half a pint of water - recommended by the dentist and surprisingly hard to do - and didn't feel sick once. The second time I took it though I developed a dreadful rash within hours and so that's another one on my list of no-no's :(
Taz x
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Morning CLKD, hope you are feeling better today, hope you are still taking it easy! The weather here is dreadful, rained all weekend, but i suppose it makes the fish active, if you are watching them. Eddie. x
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:thankyou: everyone ! the fear is more controlled since mid-afternoon yesterday. Am managing to eat rubbish foods i.e. chocolate croxsonts [sp] ::) and a sort of cheesecake ........ we had a delicious mango yesterday, messy and tasty. When the fear strikes my brain asks how I can face anything other than Rich Tea biscuits and the thought of fried foods or anything which smells >:( and every magazine or TV programme has adverts about food :bang: :bang: :bang: ......
I feel very woozy. I am still vulnerable so am keeping busy. I need toup my beta-blocka for a few days to control the left over anxiety as we have LOTS to do this week ;) ........... though at 1.30 on Friday morning when I was self destructing I couldn't think of doing anything any more :'( except die. However logical that although I feel dreadful I am not sick the tightness across my belly button makes it impossible to even consider putting anything into my mouth which might return; yet when I was sick after taking that codeine mix, it was a big burp, up, out and over :o .......... now explain that! and no, it's never been explained.
I've seen psychologists, the GP has been very good, the whole issue is very embarrassing :sigh: because I'm a Big Girl now and should be able to deal with illness. Himself said he was weary on Sat. [not like him to tell me how he feels, ever] and I began to freak out in case .......... if he coughs in the night I turn him over, in case he chokes .......... when he wanders to the bathroom in the early hours he mutters 'I'm going for a pee' because I fear he's going to be ill ....... no bedside manner here then! He gave me freesias on Sat. to cheer me up, we sat watching Chelsea Flower Show on the Beeb with the gentle waft of Summer across the room, it was almost like 'smelly telly' ;)
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I'm exactly the same - if my son or my OH get up to go to the bathroom in the night I always 'fear the worst'. They both know if they are going on a night out then they can't stay with me as I'm so fearful they may be sick through drinking too much. Son stays at his Dads, OH goes home. I can't have my windows open in summer at all because my street forms part of a route back to a residential area from the town centre. On more than one occasion I've had drunken people being sick outside my house and it's literally made me sick too! I think it's a very common syndrome that could probably be cured through 'aversion therapy' but I'm not prepared to get a job in Nursing to overcome it! Interestingly, years ago I was once in hospital next to a lady who was sick every hour on the hour - after the first few times I seemed to become accustomed to it and it didn't bother me so much - the effect didn't last though sadly...
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I worked in a hospital for 8 years ::) I think it's the noise :-\ ........ it must be an instinctive issue which goes back to the cave man, if one ate something poisonous maybe the noise caused everyone else in the Tribe to eject what was dangerous? That thought doesn't help when the fear kicks in though >:( ......... and there's no logic. I've tried CBT which didn't give any help at all. My phobia began at age 3 ..........
I used to sit well away from people at folk events, even so when a family had fish and chips one afternoon the thought crossed my mind "That isn't a good idea at this type of event" then later in the evening when I saw the mother searching for a carrier bag ........... then the 11 year old started, well Hubby hadn't even noticed >:( ::) but I grabbed the dog and fled into the darkness. Must have scared him witless, over 15,000 people in a large field not particularly well lit ....... but I was gone!
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The caveman theory is a good one! :D
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Like people being scared of spiders and other crawlies .......... one couldn't see what was scuttling about in the back of the cave. Some can't put their hand into a box or bag unless they know what is in the bottom! It is a test that is put to Police Cadets, Psychologists and others who will be dealing with the public in traumatic situations.
I've managed lunch :-*
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Thank you [WAVE]
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Gosh CLKD, I had no idea what this word meant. Sure glad you are feeling better. All I know is if I see anyone upchuck, I leave the room and nearly do the same. As a nurse, this was a bit of a problem. Your husband sounds so considerate. We are both lucky in that department.
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thanks Granma ;) - we were planning a holiday to Italy, now I can't even look at the brochures without that awful lurch in my guts :'(
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As you are very fond of saying CLKD.....little steps :)
You have had a little setback but I am sure you will be back to where you were soon.
Honeyb
x
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Vulnerable this morning as we are 'out' and about this evening with a group of people ........ :-\
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Just catching up on here .. I am on Erythromycin for my eye problem and have been for weeks but have had to lower the dose to two a day (from 4) as it was upsetting my tum. Fed up with it now, although the eye is a bit better it can recur at any moment. Sorry to hear you have been so poorly CK, phobias are a real problem. I have a 'thing' about certain foods -particularly really 'wet' ones that I feel I can't control in my mouth which I think stems from a bad trip to the dentist a few years ago - during a clean, he squirted water into my windpipe, I choked and had a panic attack (well, I couldn't breathe). I've had cbt and also hynotheraphy but to be honest, nothing has worked and I think it's something I have to live with now. I am careful what I eat, at what speed I eat it at (as it brings on that fear of choking/not being able to breathe), don't like eating out or going anywhere where I don't have control over what is offered. I'm not a 'foodie' any more as a result, can't get all excited about it and would rather 'eating as a social happening' was completely off the agenda. I've found that consciously relaxing helps, and when my mind is on other things (for example when I heard a friend was seriously ill, all I could think about was her and I ate just fine for a few days) I'm better. Still, I have been better recently, I don't kid myself that it will ever go away but perhaps as the time goes on ..... anyway, chin up CKLD, keep doing the best you can do. Thinking of you. :-*
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Thank you so much :thankyou:. I have fads with food and foods which I only 'fancy' occasionally, i.e. egg with chips. Otherwise it can be bland or one of Himself's tasty curries with lots of garlic, ginger etc..
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Just catching up on this thread and finding it very interesting and informative.My daughter ( now 16) has suffered from this ever since she was a toddler,but more a phobia about others vomiting than herself.I had no idea it was so widespread.
I used to wonder if it was connected to the fear she had as a child of 'letting go' to empty her bladder or bowels.We had years and years of trauma with that,as well as professional help,and thank God she has grown out of it.
I say I wonder if it was connected because her bowel/bladder probs started after the first time she ever used the potty.When she stood up and saw that she had passed a stool and some urine,she became hysterical which was so upsetting.I think in her little mind she felt she had lost part of her body,if you know how I mean.So ever after that,she got upset and held on for hours if she needed to go,particularly her bowels.The more this happens,the harder it is to pass eventually of course.
Sorry if I've gone OT,but I have always thought that maybe the process of releasing body fluids involuntarily (as in being sick),is what she's fearful of still ???
Hope everyone having probs with sickness/fear of it is feeling a bit better today :)
xx
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Lovely to see you Jilly! Phobias are irrational but it doesn't help the sufferer. Buttons? Vomiting? Faeceas ........ practically anything can cause a phobia. I suspect your daugther was not expecting to see what was in the potty! We forget that we are used to bodily functions but for her first time :o ........... making sure that she has 'grown out of it' and is not suffering in silence is important too!
Feeling better the last few days. Getting myself round a cuppa now.
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Glad you are better today CKLD. :) Yes, phobias are irrational, saw a woman on tv with the 'buttons' one and yes, it was amusing if I am honest but not when you think about how hard it must be to cope with, particularly shopping for clothes. And there's treatment but no cure as such, it's a learn to live with it thing. :-\ Who'd be a human being eh?
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Buttons are everywhere ::) and even if there's an explanation, the fear can still dominate :'( ........
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Emetophobia is (I believe) the 5th most common phobia, but is not really widely known as most of us 'emets' (yes - I'm one too!) keep quiet about it. Unfortunately, it doesn't respond well to the usual phobia treatments, so it's really a case of coping with it and living with it - not easy to do when the panic hits, but it IS possible.
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I would no more tell my friends or relatives than fly to the moon :o though a friend who has this same problem knows.
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I tell anybody daft enough to stand still long enough! I refuse to suffer alone. I have a friend with bad arachnophobia - people just remove spiders from her sight with no fuss. Another person I know is absolutely terrified of thunder (she goes and hides in the disabled loo at work if we have a storm - it has no windows) - we all just accept it, and I've found people just accept my phobia too. And as all my friends, and most of my work colleagues, know about my emet, they make allowances - they know I won't go on their boozy nights out, so they don't natter me, but very often when they are organising one, they plan to go for a meal early in the evening so I can join them for that (I have no problem eating out as long as it's somewhere where people aren't drunk), then leave before the real drinking starts. And they are very good about not announcing to the whole office if they feel a bit off-colour. It really does make things easier for me to have people around me who know how I feel.
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I'm a lifelong emetophobe too and can really empathise with many of the experiences described here - I think, in my case, it results from having had to be stomach pumped age 5 (I thought the tree in our new house's front garden was a pea tree - it was actually laburnum!). It got very out of hand in 1989 and I developed panic attacks/agorophobia as well and got to the stage where I rationalised that if I didn't eat I couldn't be ill - and spent the next few months living on a handful of ritz crackers and water each day, wouldn't go anywhere without a (large) plastic bowl, went down to under 6 and a half stone and was too weak to do anything bar sit in a chair. Then my cousin got married and, as I was too ill to go to the wedding, sent me a slice of wedding cake - which put me in a difficult position as, being very very superstitious at the time, I 'knew' it would be bad luck not to eat it - so I did and Mum promptly went out and bought half a dozen fruit cakes :) I gradually got better from there - I'm still an emetophobe, there's a plastic bag tucked in each of my handbags, 1989 may well be the reason for my early menopause and if anyone comes into work and says they've been ill, I'll have an IBS attack within the hour. I also have to explain the situation to my dentists, but can work through treatment with an MP3 player and a 'panic button' signal. It took a lot of year to get to this stage and it's one of the reasons we don't have children, but the really crazy thing though is that the last time I was ill was January 1988!
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Gosh ckld been catching up on posts today and seen what a tough time you have been having lately. Your hubby sounds like he has been a great support. Hope it's not too long till you feel back to your usual self. And gosh reading about all the other people who are struggling with a similar condition - makes me realise even more just what we have to cope with in life. We really are pretty incredible strong brave women - even tho we don't always feel it! Hugs to you all in your honesty in sharing how tough life is at times. Xxx
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Scribe: Welcome to the Club no one wants to be in >:( - I could have written a lot of your statement myself :hug: even now if someone mentions the 'S' word I cringe, crawl away and don't eat for days. Like you, I ate only enough to keep myself upright though you seem to have taken that idea even further: and still I can't discuss this face to face with anyone incase I make them feel 'bad' or they begin to watch me or even worse, they laugh ...........
Not too bad this week as I haven't needed pain relief nor anti-biotics.
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I heard something very interesting on Jeremy Vine today who was talking about hypnotism which led into hypnotherapy. A bloke rang up and said that he had had hynotherapy for his fear of heights but it didn't work. According to him, it only works if the phobia is 'irrational', and by that I suppose it would be something like fear of button or pencils or something. This would explain why the hynotherapy really didn't work for me (well, short term it sort of did but the effects wore off and I was back to square one). Emetophobia clearly isn't irrational so I suppose it wouldn't work for that either. Might save someone on here wasting some money on trying it ???
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I hate being sick myself but my real fear is others being sick anywhere near me. I really understand the flight reaction, because thats what I want to do. Unfortunately I seem to have influenced my daughter as she is much the same. I feel very ashamed of myself for that because I really thought I had hidden it well. She is terrified of being sick and I feel so sorry for her as she will have to carry this one through her life because of me.
Honeyb
x
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I was told by a Psychologist that I wasn't the 'right material' for hypnotherapy. Don't feel guilty, there's alot of it about but don't hide it either, that's what drove me underground was the fear that people would laugh :'(
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Don't feel guilty Honeybun - you may have hidden it really well and your daughter still ended up an emet. I only found out my mum is an emet when I told her I'd found out there was a name for my panic reaction to sickness when I was in my 20s! I had no idea she felt the same - she'd never let it show. But I'm emet anyway. My daughter, on the other hand, knows I'm emet, but isn't herself (she doesn't like sickness, but it's only the 'normal' dislike!). So please don't beat yourself up - you haven't made your daughter emet, but think how much support you can give her and how you can help her to cope as you completely understand how she feels x
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I'm queasy. Ate my tea too quickly, wasn't keen on what was on my plate including some very tasty mustard but I ate too much of that .......... :-\ ........ I think it was the vinegar :-X
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I find just one Alka Seltzer or a teaspoon of Andrews Liversalts in a little warm water is very effective at settling nausea caused by over indulgence.
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:o
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Blasted neighbours >:( ........ over a week ago one told me she had felt poorly for 3 days then she *was* poorly for 3 days then after 3 days her husband was poorly - now I was told by the various hospitals when visiting various rellies that they wanted 48 hours respite before visiting resumed by anyone with D&V symptoms. When I told 'her' I was told "Well I don't know about that" and when I explained that this is hospital procedure she repeated "Well I don't know about that" - well I'm TELLING YOU :bang: :bang: :bang: and she went on and on about Himself and me going in for a cuppa and a catch up ........ well within the 48 hours >:( so we didn't GO! then Himself suggested that I tell her about my phobia ....... well he's on a hiding to nothing for at least a week :beat:
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I would have not gone either....and as for the hospital visiting I cant think of a more selfish act of visiting someone in hospital if I had a tummy bug. It really makes you wonder how some peoples minds work....or not work in her case.
Wait for a while CLKD before you darken her door. Even the merest suggestion of someone being sick sets me off. I used to have to force myself to send my kids to school when there was a bug doing the rounds.
I vividly remember taking both of my kids out of school when there was an outbreak of E coli. We had a lovely time. Lots of nature walks and horse riding and home schooling until the school was given the all clear. There were a few parents did the same but the majority kept the kids in school.
I was not prepared to take the risk ::)
When my daughter was about 12 weeks old she refused to feed and was really poorly. They admitted her to hospital overnight and eventually her temperature came down and she started to feed again. I was then told by a nurse to take her home quickly as she was more likely to catch something serious in hospital :-\
Honeyb
x
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Thanks for the support. I am keeping Well Away especially as we have a Family Do to endure I mean to attend at the weekend and that will be hard enough, being trapped in a hotel with food :o
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I can understand how you wanted to keep your kids home when there is a bug going around, I have a panic attack everytime I hear about the winter vomiting bug, I'm scared of the suddenness of it, it just starts with hardly any warning ...what happens if I'm out and suddenly it hits me , I don't like being sick but its the panicking of doing it in front of anyone that gets me :(
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When shopping I carry a large 'bag for life' just in case :-\ and the first thing I locate in shops are the waste bins under the tills or even buckets in stores which hold the flowers for sale or pails which are for sale - just in case :'(
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I've had a head cold which has irritated my stomach. Logically I know my bowel and bladder are going to feel strange because for 2 days I didn't eat 'properly' but I feel weak and worried that it might be the 'bug' my friends suffered 2 weeks ago so can't eat, feel tired, my skin itches ............ :'(
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Sorry you are not well CKLD, cant you manage something to settle your stomach? Flat coke is supposed to very good.
LM x
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Thanks, LittleMinnie - rarely drink it so don't have any cans though a friend swears by it: with a bag of salty crisps :sick02: ........ I tried a cup of hot tea earlier and my gut did somersaults >:( but have managed a small packet of mini-Cheddar biscuits and my gut feels more settled. Himself is making chicken curry so I can pick on that for the next couple of days.
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Gosh haven' t heard of Arrowroot for years ....... hubby curried a chicken this evening so with heated rice it slipped down and I am beginning to feel more Human .......... throat is still sore though but gut has settled for a while.
Thanks you all .............
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Glad you are feeling a little better :foryou:
Blue xx
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thanks - I felt hungry proper yesterday, so could eat for eating's sake and not to keep Himself from scowling at me
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>:( meant I was unable to sleep whilst on holiday. The first night I dropped off only to waken around 12.30 needing a pee which often makes me queasy but being away from home I immediately thought 'what if'. So stayed awake so that I didn't wake suddenly ........ for hours! It would have been better in the Summer 'cos I would have watched the view but it was dark :(. The 2nd night I kept awake until at least 4.00 a.m. in case I woke suddenly which meant my bladder was over-active which meant repeated trips for a pee. 3rd night the same. I slept 10 hours straight on our return to our own bed.
Fortunately I didn't feel too hung over each day and didn't crave a doze in t he afternoons. But it could have spoiled my holiday :'( :-\
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I'm the same CLKD so you have my sympathy. The nights are always the worse. It's as if I feel that if I relax then "the" bug will creep up on me and I will be sick! I find I am much better when I am on my own and don't have the worry about disturbing others should "it" happen. When I am in a house full of people then I am really anxious if I am in that frame of mind. The night is so QUIET and every sound is amplified and every little gurgle of the tummy can really cause stress.
I find that if I go to bed really late then I am much better so I sleep from around 1 till sort of 3 and then it's only three hours till getting up time. Once I get to 5 then I feel much more relaxed. I have been like this since I was a child so not much hope of it ever changing.
Taz x
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These days, unless I try to book a holiday, my issues are in the main, under control. Spontaneously I can cope, needing to book ahead floors me :'(
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Bumped for Jessie blue ;)
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Yuk. Vile. >:(. The build up was sudden in that I felt dizzy, queasy - then it waited for 2 hours B4 :-X.
Fortunately no pain. Couldn't sleep 'in case'. Knackered. :'( :'(
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:'(. :'(
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Sending 🤗 CLKD. Hope you feel better soon. Do you think it’s the heat?
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Tnx. I have no idea of causation: 1 moment I felt fine, the next light headed, frightened, with a lump under my belly button on the right; so headed for the bathroom on an 'in case' basis. VILE. Then the lump disappeared. ???? Too many baked beans over 3/4 days, as well as freshly cooked home grown runners ????; a few weeks ago cooked peas caused intense early morning heart burn :-\
Yesterday I ate bland foods little and often as well as some warmed runny custard 8). The heat drains me of energy at the best of times = anxiety. Sticking with chicken curry with rice/ginger/garlic today. And more custard ;-).
I have background heart burn ....... but the nausea has gone.
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I have had this before due to acid reflux. The random episodes of vomiting were what made me consult the GP and led to the hiatus hernia diagnosis by endoscopy. It sounds as if reflux could be involved with your experience maybe.
I'm so sorry you've had sickness but it happened and you dealt with it really well. Definitely not pleasant but not the end of everything. I hope you can use this to lessen your fear.
Taz x :hug:
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I wish too ..... I did say at the time that it wasn't as bad as I feared but that fear remains :'(
It was due to a lump under my belly button, usually a cause of wind. That feeling went .......
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The lump under your belly button would be in your intestine though rather than your stomach. You probably had irritation in both areas. I'm glad you are feeling better than you were. Take it easy.
Taz x
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I never have problems where my stomach is supposed to be :-\. Discomfort is always below my belly button. Where do others feel sick :-\ my husband can't remember ::). 4 me it's a lump of wind which may/not pass eventually, sometimes I can see wind moving in my belly in the bath ......
I'm going to access my early years medical records: 0-age 6 : to see if there's any hint as to why I suffer with this.
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Sometimes the lump is partially digested stuff moving through. Feeling sick for me is always in the stomach. As long as the lump comes and goes there's no cause for alarm. It's only if it's a permanent feature that it needs investigating especially if it's on the right hand side.
Taz x
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Where is your stomach though :-\
And why is it so awful ...... and messy, I dropped the bowl :-X
Appendix long gone ;-)
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Here https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/21758-stomach#:~:text=Where%20is%20the%20stomach%20located,connects%20to%20your%20small%20intestine.
Taz x
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:thankyou: for caring.
Pretty much how Dr Moseley describes the process in 'the gut' ............ I think that's the title of his book.
It doesn't explain what I am feeling below the belly button ......... :-\.
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Bowel not stomach stuff. At least you can look at the diagram now and know where your stomach is :)
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Tnx or where it should be ;D
Pancakes this evening. Easy to eat.
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Sorry you've had to go through thiis. I think the fear can actually be worse than the event itself, and of course it continues afterwards :'( especially if there's no obvious cause.
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I did mutter 'this isn't quite as bad as I feared' .....
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How long can a bug live in the body ? For months I've been really really tired, dropping off at any time night/day; so bought some VitD capsules although not the dose that can be got from the GP so I took 1 at breakfast and 1 in the evening.
After my episode on Sunday I've not been tired. In mid-March DH was stricken with two days in bed sleeping inside getting up when his bowels were 'rushed', on day 3 he threw up once and felt better .
Might I have been carrying the same 'bug'?
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I have zero medical knowledge, however I believe that viruses (if that's the correct term) like chickenpox / shingles hang around in the body forever, and I've read that HPV can also be in the body for a number of years, so it's always possible that it's the same bug.
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Tnx. I don't suppose we will ever know: I did sleep a lot the previous day, fortunately didn't feel ill for too long though it seems ages at the time :-\
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CLKD I haven't read the thread yet as I'm going out, but I have always had this fear.
What helped me more than anything (and I don't know what your specific issue with it is yet, so may not be relevant to you) was having Stemetil (Buccastem) in my bag at all times. My fear is more what happens to me if nauseous or worse. These little tablets changed my life. I don't abuse them, the doctor knows I carry them and advised it. Now if ever I'm nauseous I know I can take one and within 5 mins I will feel fine again. (I know there will be a time when it's not that simple, but it will still take the edge off some nasty bug, etc even if it didn't fully work, but it always has)
Hope this might help you, you can get them over the counter now.
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Tnx. The whole process makes me terrified. So much so that I don't recognise when my gut is hungry or going to be upset :'(
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I have, like you, suffered with this Phobia since childhood. It has ruled my life for as long as I can remember. I don't drink alcohol (just in case), I don't eat after 8pm (just in case), I can never finish my meal, I won't go on boats, I can't sit in the middle of a row of seats (have to be on the end...just in case). I do have children, they are older now, but learnt at a very young age that, if they were sick, they had to deal with it themselves (I just went into a meltdown!).
Believe it or not, I work in a hospital, on wards with sick people! My friends and family thought I was mad to perdue a job in the NHS. I'm not gonna lie, if a patient starts showing signs of being sick...I'm outta there, but I've stuck at it and love my job.
I once read a quote about our phobia..."I'd rather endure 20 hours of nausea than 20 seconds of being sick"...so true!
Sometimes I think about dealing with this once and for all...but then i chicken out. This is who I am, this is who I'll always be.
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Welcome to our Club ::)
I have no idea how this began. But it persists.
If DH coughs - I'm on high alert
I don't go to the theatre any more; did manage for years by sitting at the end of a row
I can't travel unless DH is driving
Can't travel on a bus/train/boat ....... the last time I went to Chelsea Flower Show in 1986 I spent the return journey in the loo :o because someone coughed
No children because they would have made a mess :-X
Yet pets I can manage ::)
HATE C.mas because of the extra food/drink
For years I was unable to walk by a Pub at closing time - in case
No alcohol for me - in case
For years I ate enough to keep me upright - since taking Propranolol for several years [stopped in March 2020] I have been more relaxed as it settled the constant queasyness
I could go on - Gut Reaction was the Group many years ago where we 'met' usually by letter : long B4 internet contact.
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Yes it is 'Emetophobia', I just presumed CLKD has misspelt. But I knew exactly what she was talking about.
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Tnx Irish Sam. Any1 who has suffered would know it for what I intended.
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As a point of interest Irish Sam, what drew you to MM Forum?
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If I was severely dyslexic, instead of mildly, I would now be frightened of posting in case I was criticised for my spelling.
I understand how this phobia must impact your life. I am phobic with high open spaces, so avoid escalators and stairways that are not enclosed. Unless I’m with someone I can cling to desperately, I will seek alternative stairways in shopping centres etc. Not a day in, day out phobia and avoidance is easier. Navigating the London Underground has been an issue. I have a problem with faeces, my own, others and animals. Not something you can avoid. Hence excessive hand washing. Maybe OCD rather than a phobia. And I worked with children and had my own. No pets. The thought of picking up a dog’s ‘do do’!
You just have to get on with it. But yes, you have to work your life around the problem and hopefully those around you will understand and accommodate it.
I think all these problems stem from childhood experiences.
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Why make your problem mine? ;D. this thread has been 'up' for years ......... no one else seems to B particularly bothered :neutral:
I take your point CLKD but I dislike inaccuracies - people might take them as fact!
I have deleted the posts.
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Irish Sam - how do you deal on a daily basis :-\
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Hello ladies.
My sympathies to anyone who suffers from this horrible phobia.
Back in the day I was trained to look for spelling errors in texts and it is a hard habit to break unfortunately.
I often noticed that even if someone was dyslexic they usually managed the correct spelling of words that appeared in the course of their work, so someone whose job involved using medical terms would remember the correct spelling of emetophobia even if they struggled with other, more commonly used words.
Take care ladies.
K.
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I'm not sure how I came to deal with it...it just kinda happened, mind over matter I guess.
It's still there, in the background, I'll be eating my dinner and will suddenly feel full (after literally 3 mouthfuls) and then can't eat a thing. Going on dates used to be hell if they wanted to eat, I'd literally order a light salad as that was 'safe food'.
Funnily enough, I had a patient today who I was endeavouring to obtain blood from, she was quite difficult and started to feel sick. You've never seen someone move as quick as me! I managed to get her samples and quickly ushered her into the waiting room. My pulse was racing and I my anxiety levels were through the roof...but I carried on. Those 'little wins' help me deal with this awful phobia.
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Yet our carers should be immune ::).
I was always on the look out when visiting post op patients ......... :-\
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Oooooh, I could never visit post-op 🤦🏻🤦🏻
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I had a dreadful 3-5 hours last night. Enough wind to fly a kite if only I could have got rid of it. However: the phobia kicked in within moments = extreme shaking with fear :'(
Slow transit + wind = deep fear. :-\
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Sorry to hear that CKLD. I also do the shaking thing if my stomach or head is bad or the runs go on for 3 or 4 hours with gripes. What helps me is telling myself "I am safe" until I calm down. Also prayers but I realise that won't help everyone.
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It's several years since I had that bad an attack. :-\. I didn't feel safe even though DH stood by. And I had a bowl in case. Saps my confidence for a while.
Fortunately I didn't have any pain or dizziness. I had vertigo years on New Years Eve and GP refused to come out, DH had to drive 5 miles to get medication!
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Struggling :'(
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Sorry to hear this CLKD. Are you poorly or anxious about getting poorly?
Taz x :hug:
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Frightened of getting sickness. Bit better now I've had a stir fry of veg with garlic on rice, tnx.
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I understand the anxiety and panic over this and, of course, the more anxious we get the more nauseous we can feel. I'm glad you're feeling better than you were.
Taz x
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:thankyou: