Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: Spangles on December 30, 2018, 01:57:44 PM
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Hi Ladies,
We had to have our little dog PTS on the 28th. To say I'm heartbroken is an understatement, it's destroyed me, I've never experienced grief like this before. He was 17.5yrs old and died to to age related issues. He was my absolute little star and friend and he helped me through some very dark days with my depression. I feel low and depressed but I know it's the grief, (hope it is). Is it normal to feel like this?
Spangles
xXx
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Absolutely! Been there 4 times.
Remind me of his breed, had he been poorly? If we had M£1 we couldn't do any more, Nature takes over. We had the privilege to be able to ease our pets to Rainbow Bridge. Now running free .......
Give yourself time to grieve. There's a huge gap in your daily routine now. :bighug:
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Hello Spangles,
Of course it's normal to feel like this. Grieving is tough and it lasts for years, but you will find comfort in the good memories of your little angel. I find comfort to think that they would suffer if they outlived their owners. You have done a wonderful job, 17.5 years is amazing for a dog. I had promised myself to never have another pet after my beloved yellow Labrador died in the hands of a bad vet. She was the light of my life. A little cat has adopted me though.
Huge Hug!
Conolly X
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Thank you ladies,
He was a Jack Russell, we had him from 8 weeks, he was deaf, blind and his mobility was impaired, he had a cold and I took him to the vet with my partner. The vet knows him well and had treated him for a long time. I held him in my arms and felt his little heart stop. He lay on a sheepskin blanket very peaceful.
I don't want another dog but jeez, the hole he's left, it's massive!
I know it was his time but I'm struggling.
xXx
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Thank you ladies,
He was a Jack Russell, we had him from 8 weeks, he was deaf, blind and his mobility was impaired, he had a cold and I took him to the vet with my partner. The vet knows him well and had treated him for a long time. I held him in my arms and felt his little heart stop. He lay on a sheepskin blanket very peaceful.
I don't want another dog but jeez, the hole he's left, it's massive!
I know it was his time but I'm struggling.
xXx
Really sorry to hear that Spangles. I haven't had a dog/cat so can't compare with my experience. You might feel that you want to get another pet at a later time. :(
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Spangles sending you a big hug :hug: x
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I didn't want another dog. I did however 'baby-sit' ;) which filled the space and they went home at night ..... except those that stayed over, in our bed ::)
You will see in a few days that you couldn't have done any more. In the meantime, that space will be huge.
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Hi Spangles
:bighug: I know only too well what you're going through.
Thinking of you.........xxxx
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JRs can go on and on ........... B4 they suddenly age and we know where that takes us :'(. I have lots of photos of my pets and a huge album, which I would grab in the event of fire.
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Big hugs to you
We had our choc lab PTS about 6 weeks ago and we still have a small dog nearly 7 years old. Our grieving has been difficult as the little dog isn't coping with the loss. He hasn't eaten properly since, gets panicky when we have to go to work or just leaving him alone for any reason. We take him on extra walks and are giving him more attention but it's not helping him. We are keeping his routine the same (Googled all the info). For Xmas I gave hubby 2 x canvasses of photos of our choc lab and boy did we cry Xmas morning
My heart goes out to you xxxx
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So sorry Spangles they really do become part of our family and it really breaks your heart to lose them because they all have such personalities. My son lost his Jack Russell last year and it was just heartbreaking even though he had a peaceful end. The vet was so kind they took a little of his fur put it in a little bag and his ashes were put in a little decorated tin with his name on it. Take care and you give yourself time to heal and mourn.
Rainbow Bridge (Death of a Pet)
Submitted By: LibbyJo
There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.
It is called the Rainbow Bridge because of all its beautiful colors.
Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge there is a land of meadows,
hills and valleys with lush green grass.
When a beloved pet dies, the pet goes to this place.
There is always food and water and warm spring weather.
The old and frail animals are young again.
Those who were sick, hurt or in pain are made whole again.
There is only one thing missing,
they are not with their special person who loved them so much on earth.
So each day they run and play until the day comes
when one suddenly stops playing and looks up!
The nose twitches! The ears are up!
The eyes are staring and this one runs from the group!
You have been seen and when you and your special friend meet,
you take him in your arms and hug him.
He licks and kisses your face again and again -
and you look once more into the eyes of your best friend and trusting
pet.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together never again to be apart.
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Thank you ladies,
I'm not goodbye this morning, my anxiety and IBS are high and I'm worrying that I'm going into depression, is this how grief feels? I'm scared of it getting worse or having a breakdown, sounds irrational I know. I've never been so sad.
xXx
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So sorry to read this. It takes a very long time to get over the loss of a pet. For the first time in our lives we are dogless and it must be nearly 3 years since we had our last dog PTS. We have now decided there will be no more pets in our household.
We had one of our horses PTS (aged 25+) a few weeks before Xmas and that was terrible. She belonged to my husband and I don't think he has had a full nights sleep yet.
Just take each day as it comes and remember the good times. Xx
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So sorry for your loss spangles it's an ache in your heart that leaves a huge hole isn't it but time really does soften the pain you'll soon smile with happy memories when you think back so don't despair.my wee girl was 16 and no I couldn't replace her it's been 2 years now but she was such a character we will never forget but will always smile at her memory.DD😘
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Spangles - go with your feelings. There is no right or wrong for any of, particularly with pets. It is harder than losing a human. Because others don't understand unless they have been there.
:hug:
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
-- Unknown
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:bighug:
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Feel your pain Spangles, its not irrational to feel like that. I have lost two dogs, we currently have 2 now and I had to replace them. My house was so empty without a dog in it. Firstly I had a bichon frise and he lived until 13 but we had to have him put to sleep he got addisons disease. It was sad but I thought that it was a good age and I couldn't bear him being sick. Then we go a pom/sheltie X from the pound she also lived to a great age but she got sick when she was 15. We now have 2 - one is a bernese mountain/collie X age 7 and the other is a jack russel/chihuaha X age 4!!. We got the Berner when the Pom/Sheltie was quite old and she treated him like her puppy despite him being 4 times her size - funny to see. He was so lonely when she died so took him to the pound and "he chose a friend" - sounds mad but that is what happened I didnt see how we could choose when it was him who had to live with another dog in his house! He chose Ronnie (there were plenty we liked and he didnt!). You are right about personalities Annika - the two of them together is a mates relationship - not mother/son type like with the pom/sheltie.
I've cried more for my lost "puppies" than some of the "humans" I have lost - they are with you 24/7 and we tend to treat them like children (well I did!/do!). Doggies do leave a big hole but maybe you will be able to fill it with another "big personality" some time in the future. There are many out there who need loving homes? It doesn't mean you love the ones you lost any less just that you have someone to spoil with more love :wub:
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Pets leave footprints on our hearts ;)
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Oh I can so relate. They ARE part of your family and each one has their own personalities.... but try and focus on the positives.
They dont fear death nor morn it as we do. I envy that lack of awareness about dying. Dogs live in the moment and just make the most of life regardless of what they have health wise. I once had a dog whose back legs went then he went blind but he still walked with us. (His legs recovered)
Your baby lived a long and happy life and you can never replace him but you will have lots of photos and memories.
We had to put him to sleep aged 11 which is not old bc he was blind and mostly deaf in the end and he was just not happy and afraid. I cried like ive never cried in my life in the vets room but we stayed with him till the end kissing and talking close to his ear so he could smell us. He was totally unaware as he fell asleep in the valium they gave him.
We had him cremated and scattered his ashes on his favourite beach.
We have a photo of Harvey framed on our wall and we have his dog collar hanging over the corner of the frame xxx
Time will heal but never forget x
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Oh Spangles, Im so very sorry. I know so well what youre feeling and how it hurts.
Sending you much love, and one day the painful memories will be replaced by mtemories of all the happy times you shared together xxxx
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Oh spangles I'm so so sorry
Your little dog must've had such a great life though,that's a great age.
I lost my little King Charles 4 years ago and I thought I'd never stop crying,even now when I look at photos of her I'm away again.
Decided I'd NEVER go there again but 3 years later I missed having a little dog sitting on my lap and got two little mixes .
You'll get there,you know you will,grieving is good,it's how the body copes.
Sending hugs ❤️ Xx
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How R U feeling :bighug:
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I'm better than I was that's CLKD.
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:foryou:
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Sending my Love to everyone who feels the pain of a beloved pet who has passed away. Our cat aged 16 passed away three years ago and we still feel upset. As someone on this thread has already said the pain you feel is more than when a relative or close friend dies. We had the cat basket in the kitchen for two years before moving it to a bedroom where it still waits. Some would say crazy cat people, yet how many people keep things which belonged to a family member? Same thing as far as I am concerned. We all grieve in different ways. Talking and writing about our deceased companions good for us. What is achieved by being miserable, replace a sad memory with a happy one and smile. :) :) :) xxxxxxx