Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: EnglishRose on November 12, 2018, 09:23:28 PM
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I'm so low again
I haven't left my bed during the day for a month and on “good†days I will go down for dinner and watch tv with me partner whose been on holiday for 2 weeks.
Last week I walked the dogs twice and started to get back into work a little bit,
6 weeks ago I started with unusual and concerning muscle twitches to my nether regions.
I immediately jumped onto google and for the life of me couldn't escape the diagnosis of a rare nerve disorder which involved the pundendal nerve which controls the vagina clitoris anus pelvis.
My anxiety sky rocketed and my mental and physical health deteriorated to where I am now. I've opted out of life. My puppy bounces upstairs to see me and I shut the door bc I can't show affection I'm so low.
My current symptoms are restless legs and pelvis/lower back. So it comes on and I'm kicking the bedsheets and writhing around in discomfort then it goes as quick as it came and I get hyper sensitive skin to my spine lower back and legs...it doesn't burn or tingle I just shiver and shudder if clothes brush against those areas
My lower back hurts probably bc I've been lead on it in bed all day.
I get stabbing pains inside and outside of my vagina nothing mega or terrible but I'm aware of it.
The arousal sensations for now seems to have taken a back seat, I don't know if I'm creating my own symptoms but they feel real. And I massive increase in appetite despite my anxiety depression. My head is not interested in food but my stomach demands to be fed.
I've head hunted a women's Physio Therapist who worked with the pundendal nerve and she performed a pelvic exam and reported that I had no nerve issues nor did I have any pelvic floor issues nor did I hsve vaginal atrophy based on her visual examination.
However I received a letter from her and she's suggesting I had an MRI to check for something rare called Tarlov cycsts as a cause to my symptoms which she agreed seemed physical in nature due to neurological linked symptoms such as sciatica type paresthesia down my leg. This has replaced my relief with more anxiety.
(I was getting physical and mentally better after the exam)
It doesn't hurt when I have sex during or after. but I have noticed discharge has become watery years ago and little air bubbles escaping during the day.
My cervix started to hurt and bleed upon examination a few years ago.
I've been reducing my Progesterone cyclogest after years of using it without oestrogen and I started oestrogel 5 days ago,
I made a further 100mg reduction 4 days ago to my Progesterone and my symptoms kicked in both physically and emotionally last night. I feel disconnected to life. I feel so sick and depressed
My head hurts I have palpitations, sleep is my onky escape and that's hit and miss..I can either sleep 14 hours or 4. I can sleep 12 hours and still fall asleep on the sofa at 8pm. Then when hormones change I'm awake early and can't get back to sleep and no napping either.
I feel like my life stopped 6 weeks ago.
yet I know i made love 2 nights ago and was watching tv and laughing...
then last night my physical symptoms flared and my mood dropped at the same time and have cried hysterically all day. My boobs are huge and I feel like I'm due my period but I also reduced Progesterone 100mg Which always causes terrible pms.
Are my physical symptoms linked to hormonal fluctuations. .?
Can pain to the vag be caused by lack of oestrogen ?
I'm so exhausted searching for reasons bc I need to know this will pass one day,,,I feel trapped inside my own miserable head and body,
I know logically it's hormones but my emotions and anxiety tell me other worst case scenario stories
I've increased my Oestrogen today from 1 pump to 2 pumps. Feel like absolutel death warmed up
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You poor girl, I kind of know how you're feeling,every little twitch your body makes,every ache & pain is something horrendous,yet years ago we all would have just shrugged it off & ignored it, I wish I could heed my own advice as I know from all the lovely ladies on here that 9 times out of 10 it's our brain playing an nasty trick on us.unfortunately lying in bed with our brain idle is not good,too much time to think of negative thoughts but believe me, I know how hard it is to swing your feet onto the floor & get going.
You're right,your back ache IS probably due to lying in bed,your muscles not being used,your back has so many nerves running from it & can cause aches pains & twitches in the most random places.
Lately I've been trying to find things in my area to do but as yet not found much,I've really no friends here & literally have nobody to talk to, I moved to Wiltshire from Aberdeen a few years ago & because we're so rural & we run a business from home I've never met anyone & we all need interaction,think it's my main problem.
You really should try & see someone,lady go?or a specialist in all things menopause?
I hope you feel better soon & know that you're not alone
Hugs xx
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You poor girl, I kind of know how you're feeling,every little twitch your body makes,every ache & pain is something horrendous,yet years ago we all would have just shrugged it off & ignored it, I wish I could heed my own advice as I know from all the lovely ladies on here that 9 times out of 10 it's our brain playing an nasty trick on us.unfortunately lying in bed with our brain idle is not good,too much time to think of negative thoughts but believe me, I know how hard it is to swing your feet onto the floor & get going.
You're right,your back ache IS probably due to lying in bed,your muscles not being used,your back has so many nerves running from it & can cause aches pains & twitches in the most random places.
Lately I've been trying to find things in my area to do but as yet not found much,I've really no friends here & literally have nobody to talk to, I moved to Wiltshire from Aberdeen a few years ago & because we're so rural & we run a business from home I've never met anyone & we all need interaction,think it's my main problem.
You really should try & see someone,lady go?or a specialist in all things menopause?
I hope you feel better soon & know that you're not alone
Hugs xx
Hi 👋
I'm not as bad today as I was yesterday. My hormones are all over the place due to starting HRT my period (still waiting) and reducing a different HRT.
I knew when I woke up early and had a scene from a horror movie I'd watched the night before playing over and over in my head, that I wasn't right.
I'm lonely 😔
I never leave the house even before this menopause nightmare kicked in . I work from home have done for almost two decades.
It works for me as long as I'm busy as I love my job. But if I get sick I tend to internalise everything, once you start looking inwards it's a slippery slope.
I do have something going on with my back but I'm living in fear of particular symptoms that's why I don't leave the bed. I've decided if I don't move I am less likely to feel the symptoms.
I'm in a dark place and I've got it into my head unless the symptoms go away I can't go back to living and working.
I know what I need to do. It's doing it... I'm in a bubble of my own making
I've found a therapist who can visit me in my home and waiting for her to get bs k to me,
Thank you for replying ❤️
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Hi Rosenglish and Jaypo,
I can empathise with the loneliness. I have worked from home for 18 years and absolutely loved it at first, no commuting hassle, no office bitchiness just me getting on with my job. But from the beginning of this year when peri started kicking me in the teeth I have felt so isolated and feel I need to be with other people during the day and get out of the house. So much so that I am going to resign from the job I have had for 20 years after Christmas for a new start doing who knows what. I just know I will go crazy if I don`t change that part of my life. Crazy to do it, but crazy if I don`t! :o
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Of course this is hormones. The very fact that the first twitches sends you rushing for Dr Google is a screaming sign. If your hormones were balanced you would just think "ouch" and move on. You don't have some terrible nerve issue or rare cysts. You have hormone imbalance. In large part because your progesterone levels had got so high with nothing to balance them out and now you are bringing those down and yet only using a very tiny amount of oestrogen. Just introducing oestrogen will wake up receptor cells and often cause you to feel worse before you feel better if you have been starved of that hormone for a long time, as you have because you have been so progesterone loaded.
I'm afraid this is hard, but it will get better. Once you are on a decent amount of oestrogen gel and your progesterone has fallen back into line you will start to recover. For now, cells are missing the progesterone overload and also receiving some stimulation from the oestrogen. A perfect storm for PMS and the crying and misery and solitude seeking you are experiencing.
What did your doctor tell you to do re the gel? How much are you working up towards? Do you have another blood test booked to monitor your changing levels? If not, I'd get one booked for 2 months after you started this. It should be 3 months really, but you are having a hard time and it might help to get some visual confirmation of what's happening sooner.
The first few weeks take strength of mind and body to get through. You must stop staying in bed though. That is the number one thing you need to do for yourself now. Get up every morning at the same time. Use the alarm if necessary. Wash, apply your gel, dress and then go downstairs. Don't go down in your dressing gown or PJ's. I speak from experience here. If you do that you never feel right for the day and can still be in them at 2pm and you feel a failure. Getting up, washed and dressed and then down to put the kettle on is an important routine.
Next, you need to take your dogs out at least once a day :scottie:. Again, it's to force you outside into fresh air and brighter light which lifts the brain mood. Don't let someone take that task over. Get out with them.
That's it for now. If you can do those 2 major things each day whilst you go through this transition period you will have achieved good things and you will feel better about yourself.
You can do it! I've been where you are now re the never getting dressed part. It's horrible. But you can force yourself out of that.
:tulips: :love:
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Roseenglish - reading throughyour posts, I realise that you are not doing much physical activity and I'm really wondering if doing some appropriate exercise would make a big difference to your general health. I know it is tough to get exercising when you feel so tired and awful but with the right help and support I'm sure it would really help. HRT can only do so much.
If you set yourself a target of going for 2 ten minute walks each day - getting out in the fresh air and focusing on nature - this might help? I practise a lot of Mindfulness which I find invaluable. My GP suggested a book by Mark Williams adn Dr. Danny Penman ‘Mindfulness' which I found really good.
To get life back on track, I have found if is a range of strategies that will often work - no one thing on its own will sort everything. Writing down a plan of action could set you on at the right path but don't be ambitious - set very sensible targets. DG x
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Hi dancing queen, I do wish that was an option for me but it's not,my husband out seeing customers all day & I do the office stuff, I am lonely & I know that's part of the problem,just like roseenglish,no friends down here at all & the ones in Scotland obviously are getting on with their lives without me,speak occasionally on the phone but it's not the same as meeting up for a coffee etc
Good luck to you & I hope it all goes brilliantly for you after Christmas xx
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(http://)Thanks for all the replies.
I'm crying as I read and write this.
I can't believe that just 6 weeks ago I was working selling antique diamond rings and walking my two sausage dogs and now I'm in bed all day crying with my iPad as my only source of reaching out to other people.
I've always been a loner but happy in being so. I enjoy my job so that allowed me the happiness to pass my days. Never been one for girly shopping trips, truth be told I've not had a female friend since I was in my early 20s
My partner was my friend and that worked for me,
My sister is busy she has a business and two grown daughters my mum is mid 70s and struggling with her own demons. Dad told me not to communicate with mum about my problems as she's struggling with her own panic attacks related to end of life fears.
Even if I had a posse of friends sat around me this is very much a solo mission. My hubby struggles and holds me when I'm in mess and will ask me “what can I do.†And I reply;
“Nothing. No one can do anything. This is my fightâ€
I wear the trousers in the relationship so he finds it hard to be insistent or coming into the bedroom and insisting I get out of bed and come for a drive... but that's what I'd like him to do....but he says I'm head strong... so leaves me to me.
No one can do anything. I just want the horrible physical symptoms to go away...then my confidence would return..I'm living in fear of my own body.
I know I need to get out... but it's easier to hide in bed. It's not like I'm watching tv ...doesn't hold my attention. I'm just sat up in bed on my iPad all day.
I've just had to go out to the chemist and that 40 minutes out had me talking to various people and engaging .and I found myself singing along to a song on the radio...
Got back inside and back in bed.
I'm stuck. I think “this†has been brewing for many years ...my mum and family have always said you spend too much time alone so your problems seem much bigger in your mind than they actually are
Another line from mum was
You need something real to worry about
She's right on both counts, if my partner was diagnosed with cancer or died...I think all of the crap running around my head would vanish.
As for HRT I was told 2 to 3 pumps a day. I started on one just to make sure I didn't have a reaction to it. I've increased to two now.
I agree I need to get my bloods done in 2 months. Had them done in May
Oestrogen <18
Progesterone 20
FSH 70
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Oh dear,not much any of us can say unfortunately,all so sad but try & take a teeny weeny bit of comfort when I tell you so many of us here have been there,we really have,no end in sight but there is help out there for you my lovely,my husband the same,he can't bear me telling him to go away, I like you tend to take it all on my own shoulders,curl up in a foetal ball & hide,please please seek help
Sending you love and hugs xx
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Oh dear,not much any of us can say unfortunately,all so sad but try & take a teeny weeny bit of comfort when I tell you so many of us here have been there,we really have,no end in sight but there is help out there for you my lovely,my husband the same,he can't bear me telling him to go away, I like you tend to take it all on my own shoulders,curl up in a foetal ball & hide,please please seek help
Sending you love and hugs xx
❤️
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This is screaming hormones to me Roseenglish. Trouble is it's hard to see things ourselves, we need others to point it out to us
I'm the same, if I start worrying about a symptom it's a very rapid slippery slope to the worst case scenario and I could quite easily shut myself away and not see anyone. I have learnt through all this meno crap that it's the worst thing to do. Who's walking your dogs? I did find walking was my best form of therapy, that and mindfulness/calm breathing exercises, anything to try and stop the negative thoughts. Very easy to say I know but closing yourself off from the world definitely won't help the negative thoughts, been there, done it and got countless t shirts.
Good you've got a therapist lined up, that's a good start.
Sending you a big hug x
Thank you x
I know logically what I need to do and had a few days were the symptoms were not so obvious or I decided to push through them anyway,,, I mean it's not like I have to be in an office at a set time ... that's the problem... I'm my own boss, l read stories from ladies struggling with work and all the menopause symptoms and from my perspective I think it's a good thing.. to keep going.. to hsve those distractions... last thing you need in the middle of a menopause meltdown is the option to stay at home..
I know in my heart in a week I'll be posting jokes here and trying to help a few other ladies...
I'm using the Oestrogen now and reducing the progesterone so I'm pinning all my hopes on that.. in 3 months perhaps these symptoms will go and maybe replaced with new ones but that's ok...as long as these go so then I know without doubt they're hormonal. If that makes sense.
You seem like a lovely warm hearted lady,,, just wanted to share that with you,,, you always come over as a caring person. That's a rare trait XX
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Roseenglish - reading throughyour posts, I realise that you are not doing much physical activity and I'm really wondering if doing some appropriate exercise would make a big difference to your general health. I know it is tough to get exercising when you feel so tired and awful but with the right help and support I'm sure it would really help. HRT can only do so much.
If you set yourself a target of going for 2 ten minute walks each day - getting out in the fresh air and focusing on nature - this might help? I practise a lot of Mindfulness which I find invaluable. My GP suggested a book by Mark Williams adn Dr. Danny Penman ‘Mindfulness' which I found really good.
To get life back on track, I have found if is a range of strategies that will often work - no one thing on its own will sort everything. Writing down a plan of action could set you on at the right path but don't be ambitious - set very sensible targets. DG x
I was doing some, well more than I had been. We got a puppy in June and along with my other dachshund I started long walks... sometimes I'd invite my neighbour .. (new development)
I was walking them when I noticed the symptom that lead me down this path..
I have a photo on my wall of a photo I took of my puppy that day on our walk... it's bitter sweet to look at it as that was the last day I was “meâ€
Sounds very melodramatic I know,, hormones!
When my partner is back at work I'm aiming to join my dog walker each day...I've paid her for a month in advance so she has a couple of weeks left
I joined her last week on one of my more determined days... xxx
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Of course this is hormones. The very fact that the first twitches sends you rushing for Dr Google is a screaming sign. If your hormones were balanced you would just think "ouch" and move on. You don't have some terrible nerve issue or rare cysts. You have hormone imbalance. In large part because your progesterone levels had got so high with nothing to balance them out and now you are bringing those down and yet only using a very tiny amount of oestrogen. Just introducing oestrogen will wake up receptor cells and often cause you to feel worse before you feel better if you have been starved of that hormone for a long time, as you have because you have been so progesterone loaded.
I
I'm afraid this is hard, but it will get better. Once you are on a decent amount of oestrogen gel and your progesterone has fallen back into line you will start to recover. For now, cells are missing the progesterone overload and also receiving some stimulation from the oestrogen. A perfect storm for PMS and the crying and misery and solitude seeking you are experiencing.
What did your doctor tell you to do re the gel? How much are you working up towards? Do you have another blood test booked to monitor your changing levels? If not, I'd get one booked for 2 months after you started this. It should be 3 months really, but you are having a hard time and it might help to get some visual confirmation of what's happening sooner.
The first few weeks take strength of mind and body to get through. You must stop staying in bed though. That is the number one thing you need to do for yourself now. Get up every morning at the same time. Use the alarm if necessary. Wash, apply your gel, dress and then go downstairs. Don't go down in your dressing gown or PJ's. I speak from experience here. If you do that you never feel right for the day and can still be in them at 2pm and you feel a failure. Getting up, washed and dressed and then down to put the kettle on is an important routine.
Next, you need to take your dogs out at least once a day :scottie:. Again, it's to force you outside into fresh air and brighter light which lifts the brain mood. Don't let someone take that task over. Get out with them.
That's it for now. If you can do those 2 major things each day whilst you go through this transition period you will have achieved good things and you will feel better about yourself.
You can do it! I've been where you are now re the never getting dressed part. It's horrible. But you can force yourself out of that.
:tulips: :love:
Thank you ❤️
I know during peri I would have an odd day were I was hysterical or full of absolute rage.. back then it would be about insomnia..I would convince myself I would never sleep again and be totally convinced
Then my period would come and I'd look back and think
â€what the Hell was I thinking.†but it seemed so very real in the storm.
I guess that's what I'm going through now..a Permanent state of PMS... it's like pms x 10 and it doesn't go away.
I've been dealing with peri for a decade, the usual suspects, night sweats, hot flushes, insomnia, anxiety, low mood, lack of motivation, but this usually vanished once my period started. I had no libido during peri but then that's spiked too and I'm totally confused with a mix of depression anxiety physical symptoms AND times of increased libido despite the above, it's not like me to have any libido at all... like ever 🙄
You seem very knowledgeable re hormones. I used to believe I was Oestrogen dominant hence me using Progesterone only. I started using an otc cream called Natpro at 400mg. I use Cyclogest now.
I recall going through the loading dose and having acute insomnia rage etc and was told it was Oestrogen fighting to prevent progression from becoming the dominant hormone. So I pushed through getting reassurance from their forums that it was all normal and would calm down once Progesterone became the dominant hormone
It seemed to do the trick after 8 months I was told at that point to slowly reduce the progesterone to 200mg but if Oestrogen symptoms reappears to go back up a touch again
I just decided it was easier to stivk to 500mg and get on,,, I slept well and felt fine although certainly not symptom free. I was educated to believe Oestrogen was the enemy the stimulating hormone that caused rage, cancers anxiety, insomnia, and progesterone was “nature's valium†the calming hormone... it appealed to me..made sense..
Then it all came crashing down all because of a stupid symptom I became obsessed about... I was fine till that day,... even during the 2 weeks of acute anxiety as I researched my symptoms I was still going about my life... then I just took to my bed and haven't got pit of it since but I'm still researching symptoms looking for reasons, causes mother women who had what I have... reassurance...health anxiety Classic
Now I'm trying to reverse what I did all those years ago. And I need to put the iPad away stop googling. It's hard x
I was told try 1 pump then 2 but the label says 2 to 3 pumps.
I've to use Uestrogen micronised progesterone from day 15 (200mg):
I'm on 300mg Cyclogest currently so once down to 200mg I'll stop using it and move over to the micronised pills.
I'm sure when I stop taking the progesterone pills I'll hit an all time low as that's the first time in years I will hsve not used Progesterone at all.
Worrying about that but if the other symptoms that are causing me anxiety improve or go away it will be worth it,
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From personal experience , STOP GOOGLING . When I go down the dr google rabbit hole it makes me feel SO much worse . Difficult to do as it is an addiction in itself and the next step is obsession- which will take your focus for normal every day life ( when lack of focus is already an issue ! ) . Yes you feel like shit . But it won't last .
I say all this from my own experience with severe health anxiety .
Lemondrop xxxx
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Oh and also ! My mother in law had the same issues with the genital sensations , I remember her telling me that her gp said it was due to menopause, it went away ! I Knowshe had it for a good few weeks ! It's not really something most people would talk about I guess ? Xxxxxx
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Oh and also ! My mother in law had the same issues with the genital sensations , I remember her telling me that her gp said it was due to menopause, it went away ! I Knowshe had it for a good few weeks ! It's not really something most people would talk about I guess ? Xxxxxx
Really??
Omg I'm crying now... I just want hope... just a little hope this will pass. I can live with it if I have hope it will pass but it's like every avenue I go down I get shrugged shoulders or blank stares...
the physio Therapist told me she had women who went to her with the same symptoms but like me they didn't have pundendal nerve irritation.
(That's the nerve that sends pain and pleasure to your genitals anus and pelvis)
I'm so terrified this is for ever or it will get worse and I can't shake that fear..
but I've already spoken to a hand full of women who had pain and or arousal
To their genitals and recovered by balance their hormones out or it passed with time.
Of course there's those that get diagnosed with the dreaded disorder and just accept it.
My symptoms have morphed from mild to intense sexual arousal and mild pain to my vagina and mild shivers to my spine and now it's the other way around.. mostly a hyper sensitive spine lower back and legs... like shivers only nothing to do with cold. It's like someone's walked over my grave all the time...hard to describe.
And restless legs and off throughput the day or night. I also get mild pain to different places to my inner outer vagina too. Oh and INSANE hunger... which is not in keeping with how I'm feeling emotionally.
I think I've alresdy done the damage re: obsessed I'm tuned into my body all the time now.
I've never been anxious about health issue before. I had skin cancer in my early 30s and had very little anxiety about it.
Sucks having a hormone soup with strange symptoms 😟
Thank you for taking the time to respond and share your story of your mother in law .xxx it does help so much to know others have been where I am and came through the other side. ❤️
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From personal experience , STOP GOOGLING . When I go down the dr google rabbit hole it makes me feel SO much worse . Difficult to do as it is an addiction in itself and the next step is obsession- which will take your focus for normal every day life ( when lack of focus is already an issue ! ) . Yes you feel like shit . But it won't last .
I say all this from my own experience with severe health anxiety .
Lemondrop xxxx
Found your early posts
I do all the things you mentioned, walking into rooms forgetting why, putting the coffee in the fridge, forgetting words even simple ones, forgetting how to spell words, forgetting appointments,.. so much I forget (no pun intended)
But this was something I was aware of ... it's well documented as a meno symptom so this didn't trigger my anxiety
Ironically I guess had you been dealt my symptoms perhaps you would not hve panicked due to your mum in laws experience.
Sucks eh.
Hope your feeling better and more confident now.
I'm very early days with my Oestrogen HRT started a week ago on one pump increased to two pumps two days ago.
I'm also reducing a high dose of progesterone whivh I've been using for several years and each 100mg reduction creates havoc for me emotionally so I'm all over the place now...no idea what's doing what ...
Just know I must stivk with it for 3 weeks same dose before I make a decision and that it can often make you feel worse before better.. xx
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I was told try 1 pump then 2 but the label says 2 to 3 pumps.
I've to use Uestrogen micronised progesterone from day 15 (200mg):
I'm on 300mg Cyclogest currently so once down to 200mg I'll stop using it and move over to the micronised pills.
I'm sure when I stop taking the progesterone pills I'll hit an all time low as that's the first time in years I will hsve not used Progesterone at all.
Worrying about that but if the other symptoms that are causing me anxiety improve or go away it will be worth it,
You certainly overdid the progesterone. You are bang on the nail now when you said that you are suffering PMS on a kind of permanent scale right now. That's exactly it. You are reducing progesterone and although you have started oestrogen, its a low dose so far and it won't necessarily be able to get to the cell receptors because they were flooded with progesterone. It's good that you have worked up to 2 pumps a day now. When you feel ready to try 3 pumps, try splitting it to 2 in the morning and 1 in the evening. I certainly prefer that, it stops the highs and lows of the hormone from being more extreme.
Oestrogen is not the enemy. It's our life force. We need it in every cell in our body. A lot of crap and damage fell out of the Women's Health Study back in the '90's or whenever it was. Even the study writers have published an official apology to women and explained how the mistakes about oestrogen and cancer came about. The press, as they do, leapt on and misread the study and blasted out everywhere that HRT causes cancer and that was it! Women everywhere going cold-turkey and terrified to continue or start HRT.
Oestrogen protects our bones (women get osteoporosis when their oestrogen levels fall) and our hearts and arteries. It keeps our brain functioning well and makes us feel positive and capable. All the things you have going on at the moment are easily associated with lack of oestrogen and progesterone withdrawal. You are doing the right things to correct that. This sensation problem is to do with nerves either drying out a bit or something else dry rubbing on them. We have a massive number of oestrogen receptors in our vagina and bladder area. If any of them dry out a bit sensations will change. Many menopausal women think they have cystitis, it feels just the same, but it's not, it's lack of oestrogen. The oestrogen should help to plump things back up a bit and take that sensation away.
I get hissing in my ears, probably from my hypothyroidism, if I focus on it, listen for it, it seems really loud and intrusive and gets on my nerves fast. But most of the time I don't focus on it or listen for it and it doesn't bother me at all. You must stop focussing on your issues/sensations and look outward to other things, take the focus out to a more distant point rather than right inside your body. If the ear hissing gets to me I put the radio on and listen to music and I can't hear it and I'll forget about it.
You said you had to go out yesterday and you felt so much better you sang to the radio! That tells you so much about how your body really is feeling. It's your mind that's making things worse by being so self-focussed. You should not have gone back to bed when you got home. You have to stop the bed thing. I said yesterday you must get up every morning at the same time, wash, dress and then go downstairs. Force yourself to do it. No going back up to bed at all until it's bed time. If you even think about it, give yourself a talking too. Put that radio on and sing. Find a cupboard to clean out or a door that needs painting. Small but involved tasks. Switch the focus. Do it for a week and you are almost over the bed thing. Then it's on to the dog walking. You don't need a dog walker. You need to be outside twice a day. They are only little dogs, they don't need to go far.
This is a time of life where we can wallow or we can carry on. It's not a fight. It's dogged determination to keep going. You are on the right track now. You are getting some of the hormone you need, but it will take a while to settle in. You spent years forcing oestrogen down. While you wait you need not to wallow. Working alone is an issue. I have it too. But I work from a small warehouse and office that I drive to each day. If you find being at home to work too wishy washy as far as motivation and focus goes, can you go somewhere else to work each day? Even if it were to the library? Or rent a small office somewhere or a hot desk? It makes a difference to go to work. You must never try to do any work in bed or in PJ's. Always get dressed. Put earrings in, perfume on. It is the simple things that make such a difference at this time in life. I live in the country. My neighbour, and others around here, get through this time because they have horses. Horses need to be tended everyday all weathers, and no one can do it for them. They have to get up, out and focussed and it helps them all. I can see that.
I sound so bossy, I'm sorry about that. But sometimes we need to be bossed a bit. Too much thinking is bad. So today - off the iPad and outside with the dogs. As soon as you possibly can. Surprise your husband with a nice meal tonight, served at the table if you have one. Have a lovely day!
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I was told try 1 pump then 2 but the label says 2 to 3 pumps.
I've to use Uestrogen micronised progesterone from day 15 (200mg):
I'm on 300mg Cyclogest currently so once down to 200mg I'll stop using it and move over to the micronised pills.
I'm sure when I stop taking the progesterone pills I'll hit an all time low as that's the first time in years I will hsve not used Progesterone at all.
Worrying about that but if the other symptoms that are causing me anxiety improve or go away it will be worth it,
You certainly overdid the progesterone. You are bang on the nail now when you said that you are suffering PMS on a kind of permanent scale right now. That's exactly it. You are reducing progesterone and although you have started oestrogen, its a low dose so far and it won't necessarily be able to get to the cell receptors because they were flooded with progesterone. It's good that you have worked up to 2 pumps a day now. When you feel ready to try 3 pumps, try splitting it to 2 in the morning and 1 in the evening. I certainly prefer that, it stops the highs and lows of the hormone from being more extreme.
Oestrogen is not the enemy. It's our life force. We need it in every cell in our body. A lot of crap and damage fell out of the Women's Health Study back in the '90's or whenever it was. Even the study writers have published an official apology to women and explained how the mistakes about oestrogen and cancer came about. The press, as they do, leapt on and misread the study and blasted out everywhere that HRT causes cancer and that was it! Women everywhere going cold-turkey and terrified to continue or start HRT.
Oestrogen protects our bones (women get osteoporosis when their oestrogen levels fall) and our hearts and arteries. It keeps our brain functioning well and makes us feel positive and capable. All the things you have going on at the moment are easily associated with lack of oestrogen and progesterone withdrawal. You are doing the right things to correct that. This sensation problem is to do with nerves either drying out a bit or something else dry rubbing on them. We have a massive number of oestrogen receptors in our vagina and bladder area. If any of them dry out a bit sensations will change. Many menopausal women think they have cystitis, it feels just the same, but it's not, it's lack of oestrogen. The oestrogen should help to plump things back up a bit and take that sensation away.
I get hissing in my ears, probably from my hypothyroidism, if I focus on it, listen for it, it seems really loud and intrusive and gets on my nerves fast. But most of the time I don't focus on it or listen for it and it doesn't bother me at all. You must stop focussing on your issues/sensations and look outward to other things, take the focus out to a more distant point rather than right inside your body. If the ear hissing gets to me I put the radio on and listen to music and I can't hear it and I'll forget about it.
You said you had to go out yesterday and you felt so much better you sang to the radio! That tells you so much about how your body really is feeling. It's your mind that's making things worse by being so self-focussed. You should not have gone back to bed when you got home. You have to stop the bed thing. I said yesterday you must get up every morning at the same time, wash, dress and then go downstairs. Force yourself to do it. No going back up to bed at all until it's bed time. If you even think about it, give yourself a talking too. Put that radio on and sing. Find a cupboard to clean out or a door that needs painting. Small but involved tasks. Switch the focus. Do it for a week and you are almost over the bed thing. Then it's on to the dog walking. You don't need a dog walker. You need to be outside twice a day. They are only little dogs, they don't need to go far.
This is a time of life where we can wallow or we can carry on. It's not a fight. It's dogged determination to keep going. You are on the right track now. You are getting some of the hormone you need, but it will take a while to settle in. You spent years forcing oestrogen down. While you wait you need not to wallow. Working alone is an issue. I have it too. But I work from a small warehouse and office that I drive to each day. If you find being at home to work too wishy washy as far as motivation and focus goes, can you go somewhere else to work each day? Even if it were to the library? Or rent a small office somewhere or a hot desk? It makes a difference to go to work. You must never try to do any work in bed or in PJ's. Always get dressed. Put earrings in, perfume on. It is the simple things that make such a difference at this time in life. I live in the country. My neighbour, and others around here, get through this time because they have horses. Horses need to be tended everyday all weathers, and no one can do it for them. They have to get up, out and focussed and it helps them all. I can see that.
I sound so bossy, I'm sorry about that. But sometimes we need to be bossed a bit. Too much thinking is bad. So today - off the iPad and outside with the dogs. As soon as you possibly can. Surprise your husband with a nice meal tonight, served at the table if you have one. Have a lovely day!
What a lovely thoughtful reply. Not bossy at all. I need that , it's what my mum would have told me.
I wish I could hire you as a life coach ! 😊
Can you visit me every day and tell the above to my face.? Lol
I wish I had a real life friend like you. Not fair to want a friend just in a time of crisis though is it.
I have tinnitus too in my left ear. My eardrum burst following an infection about 10 years ago. It's whistling all the time at the moment... probably due to stress. I notice it more when it's quiet but it doesn't get to me.
I appreciate your advise, I need that. I have an older sister by 7 years but she's got her busy business and daughters plus she's so much older than me for all intents and purposes, I was an only child so we are not close and total opposites in many ways. We chat on Facebook but that's as good as it gets.
I find myself wishing I had a mother figure a lot these days or a big sister.
I feel like a lost and afraid child... like a want my mum, I'm almost 50! I guess that inner child is always there when we are vulnerable.
Mums no longer able to be there in a crisis she's too old and the stress of it upsets her too much she's vulnerable herself she's struggling with end of life anxiety which we are not allowed to talk to her about so we can't talk about her issues or our own which makes for a very polite and false conversation.
In many ways she's already gone which sounds terrible but it's true.. mum is a shadow of her former self.
I understand her ways of coping now I'm older but she's always hidden behind dad when I had a crisis in life and needed her, but I never understand the reasons and thought she didn't love me from my teens to my 30s.
I would telephone ☎️ and Dad would pick up and say “what do you want her for?†and I couldn't speak with her.
I digress but that caused a lot of damage to me as I saw it as rejection which had a devastating effect on my self worth and life choices. I had hoped we would one day be able to talk about it and I could explain how it hurt me but she's not one for reflecting on the past.
I find myself looking for a mother figure not actively but thinking about how I wish I had someone who could
Anyway I digress. I think I feel so alone with this and whilst I've always been alone and happy in being so, now I regret not making more effort in making connections.
I had started to do that a little by inving my neighbour on my dog walks. She's 10 years older than me but at our age it doesn't mean much.
Now there's a strong woman. Widowed in her early 40s suddenly, never remarried or had another relationship, is fiercely independent, goes to the gym, power waking, tons of friends, goes to lots of places in the uk and remote locations in the world... truly admire her... total opposite to me.
Before all this happened I just knocked on her door and invited her to come on a walk and she was over the moon.
Community is an old fashioned concept now isn't it? I live on a detached house estate and everyone keeps to themselves, too busy.
I have a daughter and grand children but I had my daughter at 17 shotgun wedding and couldn't cope... asked my mum if I could come home with her and was told “no, you've made your bed now lie in itâ€
So I asked her father (who had gone back to his parents) to come and collect her for a while as I needed time to get my head together. He did and I never asked for her back.
I lived a turbulent life following, known as the mum who gave her baby up I fell into abusive relationships and recreational drugs... I basically had no self worth.
We are in touch but there's no bond there. I spent four years trying to court her by sending money and expense gifts and flowers but she would not let me spend real time with her only on Facebook. After the birth of her first child I asked if I could come and visit once a month and she told me she only let me see the baby out of politeness and declined my request.
It's okay, I made a decision and I lived my life without the stress of bringing up a baby and it's not fair to now want her back just because I'm older and life is not as full anymore. We are in touch but more like cousins.
Sorry this has turned into a bit of a personal diary input. 😳
I've started spotting this morning I'm a week late for my period and gave up thinking it would come since I started the oestrogen a week ago.
It's always a relief to see blood after a dark patch as that explains why I've been so down.
I'll stop googling I'll get up and get dressed and ask my hubby to go for a drive or at least I'll try...
Thank you for reading and responding. Wouldn't it be great if this forum was real like a place we could all meet up once a week. I think I'd get out of bed for that !
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Have you tried a mindfulness app? I find that helpful. I've also tried a gong bath (don't laugh) and also Pilates and CBD oil.
All of which might feel a struggle to do right now, but you need to make a positive change otherwise you will become stuck (as you are) and it's harder to get out of that pit of despair.
I've also found myself in a lonely place recently and it's the worst place to be. A pilates class could really help with that if you feel able to attend?
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Rose your posts are making me cry, you sound so down and I can relate to what you are saying.
I only have a sore and aching vagina etc to deal with but it is getting me down, it's all I can think about but you have had some good advice and I will try and follow this myself. All I want to do is curl up in bed till it's all over.
It's a lonely business because even if you have friends and colleagues, it's not really something you can easily bring up in conversation. It's a case of “how are you?†“I'm fine†when I really want to say my fanjo is hurting etc etc. And when you do bring it up you get looks of pity but no real understanding. My life is on hold until I see some improvement :'(
My husband is dealing with this by not mentioning it unless I do which makes me feel even better! But that's another story.
I haven't got much in the way of advice and others have given you much better than I can but I wish you good luck and hope you start to see some improvement soon.
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Totally agree with the pj thing. I feel so much better once I'm showered and dressed and with make up on. Sometimes it's the little things that help the most. X
I live in a small town in Lancashire my job involves sitting at the pc bidding in auctions around the uk via video feed, cleaning the rings up and/ or sending them to be restored and then photographing them. I use natural light which in winter is hard, any cloud and the camera can't focus. A bit of post editing in photoshop.
I'd love a studio with lights but doubt I'd find one local.
I also work as a graphic designer which is again pc related.
I've been housebound for years and years
My hubby has RA And works in a very demanding stressful job, so he's in bed as soon as he comes home then to bed for the night by 9.30 and weekends he sleeps a lot.
We've talked a lot about him finding another job but he loves his work and hates to be beaten by his health condition which is what causes so his fatigue.
When I'm working we make about thr same income we have more money than we need.
That said we jumped on the mortgage ladder late so we still have about 160k mortgage. These are concerns, we could downsize though and buy a house outright for 170k if we had to.
I got dressed today and asked him to show me an apartment he's purchased with a view to flipping or renting. He's done all of that alone as my head has been shoved up my ass for weeks. It was good to get out albeit short lived. I wanted to show support.
Im still trying to work out how much of my symptoms are born out of my ocd checking ... I've read so much about the nerve disorder that triggers a flare such as no car rides... no sitting in chairs... so all the time I'm thinking
“Is it there?â€
“Is it worse?â€
I have to admit I spent hours sat in the car and in a doctors appointment last week and whilst my back was in pain on the way home (as was my partners) it made no difference to the symptoms I'm afraid of.
I'm constantly pulling down my jeans gusset bc I've read and heard women who have pudendal neurologica can't wear tight jeans or trousers as
the seam in jeans causes a flare or pain, so I'm aware of my genitals just physically aware as I'm constantly “ checking inâ€
I've boxed myself into a cube of fear avoiding these known triggers linked to the disorder im terrified I've got.
I've created a whole life or lack o, based on things that would trigger a flare just as if I had the illness for sure.
It's VERY easy to make yourself feel slightly aroused just by thinking of it or worrying about it..it's not like I'm having orgasms or anything close to that nor am I bent double in pain.
when I'm talking to strangers or outside of my home or comfort zone .. I don't notice it, it's always when I'm at home usually the same time ish...not sure why.
So now I need to sit in the pc chair all day and wear jeans all day and push myself out of this box I've made for myself,
I've spent literally 100 hours reading researching chatting to diagnosed sufferers and talking on the phone to them even... they all accepted me as one of them without question or query.
I've lived breathed and dreamed what it's like to live with that condition so consciously or subconsciously I'm thinking like I have it myself and that's despite the pelvic exam which checked my pundedal nerve and resulted in her finding no evidence of irritation.
I head hunted that therapist bc most don't work in that area only bladder issues. . classic health anxiety I'm telling myself she's wrong she didn't do it right .she was too dismissive ..
The copy of the mri referral to my Gynecologist suggesting we checked for other causes to the spine has just slapped me right back into anxiety again
About 10% of people have Tarlov cycsts (they're cystss that wrap around the nerves) which are found to the tailbone and about 5% of those people have symptoms. If my mri comes back with no cysts I'll be soooo relieved. If it comes back with cysts,,, it's a can of worms bc they're rare and there's no treatment other than some doctor in cyrprus who charges 28k to remove them. And there's no guarantee at that.
https://youtu.be/xBrwTCC3XqM
So...now you can see the extent of my paranoia 😒
I sound insane ... I know logically I sound off my head but emotionally I'm stuck in the mind set.
I DO get some horrible back sensations shivering and feels like when your in shock and nerve related sciatica and once I felt like a had a bead or something trapped inside my labia ... but there was nothing there...the sensation waxed and waned then my bottom cheek went cold and pain down my inner thigh followed. That's a nerve issue and I didn't imagine that,
So confused 😐 I guess worst case scenario is I go to cypress and spend 28k
But I'm not in that much pain... i hate health anxiety
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Roseenglish, I work from home sat at a computer. I wear comfy stretchy joggers. There's no way I'd sit all day in jeans. My nether regions would be so uncomfortable and I'd end up with trapped wind and bloating from the waistband and generally tight material. I'd get out of those jeans asap if I were you. X
I sit like an indian.. both legs up I've got restless legs I can't sit with feet on the ground... not for 20 years. So it never bothered me “beforeâ€
*sighs*
It's a waiting game isn't it. If there is something physically wrong with me I'll know for sure otherwise i suspect the symptoms will fade .
What do you do for a living? If you're okay to share I understand if not,
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I work with my husband doing all the admin for our business (he's a surveyor).
I would still ditch the jeans and wear something more comfy and stretchy, it's worth a try to see if it helps. Luckily we rarely have visitors to our office so I'm in t shirt, joggers and slippers or trainers. I honestly couldn't go back to smart dress like I used to wear to previous office jobs. I honestly believe whoever came up with lycra deserves a bloody great medal. My tummy has never been so grateful 😁
Oh for sure, I only buy stretch jeans now... and the more stretch the better, 😂
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I can so relate to your mind set Rose. That fear you talk of is life draining and exhausting. I'very felt so fearful these last few months that I felt like life was unbearable with no happiness only fear.
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"Nothing. No one can do anything. This is my fightâ€
However: if this were true would you post on here?
When depressed I struggled to get out of bed. I would crawl downstairs. Everything was an effort, like wading through treacle. :'( Until the medication kicked in. Even then I would spend hours on the sofa, dozing time away which at the time I felt was a waste. However, it was healing, allowing my brain and body to rest.
Making a note each evening of essential chores which I could tick off gave me evidence that I was achieving things each day. Having a strict routine helped. I got out of bed and ate breakfast, then reviewed. Every morning. For 3 years. I didn't realise that I was slowly improving. Lunch was the most difficult meal time to make decisions about but eventually I was able to face food 'properly'.
When I went into the village and talked with people it would lift my mood and became essential during my recovery. I hadn't to to peri. Yet!
Make a list of what you need to do tomorrow. Get a pen and tick each thing off. Anything left by tea-time can be put onto the list for the next day. Getting active increases adrenaline which encourages endorphins.
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"Nothing. No one can do anything. This is my fightâ€
However: if this were true would you post on here?
When depressed I struggled to get out of bed. I would crawl downstairs. Everything was an effort, like wading through treacle. :'( Until the medication kicked in. Even then I would spend hours on the sofa, dozing time away which at the time I felt was a waste. However, it was healing, allowing my brain and body to rest.
Making a note each evening of essential chores which I could tick off gave me evidence that I was achieving things each day. Having a strict routine helped. I got out of bed and ate breakfast, then reviewed. Every morning. For 3 years. I didn't realise that I was slowly improving. Lunch was the most difficult meal time to make decisions about but eventually I was able to face food 'properly'.
When I went into the village and talked with people it would lift my mood and became essential during my recovery. I hadn't to to peri. Yet!
Make a list of what you need to do tomorrow. Get a pen and tick each thing off. Anything left by tea-time can be put onto the list for the next day. Getting active increases adrenaline which encourages endorphins.
😊
Good point. This is my lifeline.. my God.. it's my haven, every reply is like a tiny hug or a squeeze of my hand coming from women who knowwhere I'm coming from.
It's a process..something changed for me physically that doesn't show on the most common menopause symptoms list and it's created a great deal of panic and catastrophic thinking.
I want to get back to work..it's starting to niggle me now.. I feel it's my duty to support my husband he has his own health issues and the last thing I want to be is a worry or a burden financially or otherwise.
My physical symptoms effect my mood directly. I had a bad hour tonight and I became distracted and distant but waited it out and it passed and I carried on laughing with my partner as we watched Celebs Go Dating we like the narrator, he's funny.
I spent very little time in bed today.. I got out bathed dressed and stayed out until now bedtime.
I'll try the same tomorrow.
❤️ You all
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Oh me too but even sitting down in them gives me tummy problems 😁
You struggle with digestion don't you? Your the lady who is having problems eating.
Is it IBS?
My sister who is 7 yrs older than me struggled with bloating and IBS along with sciatica and acute anxiety driven insomnia a few yrs back. She asked me if I had those symptoms which I don't or didn't at the time.
She's 57 now and limps with bone pain...won't take HRT because “it gives me a headache “
I told her, her symptoms can't be that bad if a headache is her only reason for stopping it. You can take a Pk for a headache. 🙄
She won't be told...
Tell me more about your symptoms?
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I can so relate to your mind set Rose. That fear you talk of is life draining and exhausting. I'very felt so fearful these last few months that I felt like life was unbearable with no happiness only fear.
It sucks. I've had days like this before my period were I've got something in my head and I'm convinced it's all real and my belief is justified then my period comes and it's like my rational head comes back.
It's truly like losing your sanity.. and with good reason, these hormones have a direct effect on the seretonin and dopamine levels in our brain.
So when we say we feel depressed it's not just a figure of speech,,, we are usually temporarily clinically depressed. The only difference is our hormones are driving the brain chemicals were as real depression is caused by lack of brain chemicals caused by things other than hormones and that's why ADs are important as they adjust seretonin in the brain for as long as you're taking them.
Tell me about your anxiety ?
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I can so relate to your mind set Rose. That fear you talk of is life draining and exhausting. I'very felt so fearful these last few months that I felt like life was unbearable with no happiness only fear.
I had a quick look at your early posts, you're having the opposite issues to me. Ironic and twisted because I could not care less if I never had sex or the big o again.
Prior to these symptoms I hadn't had sex for 6 years and didn't give it a second thought.
Very occasionally I would relief myself solo before my period as that was an occasional symptom of pms, increased libido
But now I'm all over the place... sexual urges without emotional or mental desire.. so arousal outside the contex of desire.
Then times without the arousal feelings but I'm thinking about sex.. I want sex...I e never ever been proactive about sex always reactive.
Then I have some pain not much but mild stabbing pains to my vagina inside and out
Then I also hsve these horrible shivers to my upper spine, lower back, buttocks and legs.. like someone's walked over my grave feeling...shudders..and clothing brushing against my skin is like a fork touching a tooth nerve,,, not pain or burning just a horrible shivery want to climb out of my own skin sensation. Like my nerves are all exposed to my spine and legs...even my arms a little.
I also have sciatica pain to one side which stays to my lower back but I get sciatica pain down my bottom and leg on the other side.
Restless legs ,,, And finally an insatiable appetite for food when my head has no interest in eating but my stomach aches and twists unless I keep eating little and often.
All of this started at once albeit not at the same time.
Sex doesn't hurt. Orgasms fine. But the physical urges that come from no where and my mind is not involved is deeply upsetting for me,
It's strange how lack oh hormones can affect us in the opposite way.
I'ts so confusing when your body seems alien to you after 50 years
I've been using Vagifem for 2 weeks but not truky sure I hsve VA. Been told by a physio therapist and an ignorant gynaecologist that it looked fine, no VA
But I've been advised that VA is often happening where we can't see it and by the time it becomes obvious externally, it's often too late
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My sister in law has similar problems to you Sparkle and it's a constant battle keeping things stable.
Rose. I agree with you about this place being a lifeline. It lifts me when I get a reply to something, it's that feeling of being listened to and understood. The best therapy for me is talking but in real life who can you talk to about this. My gp sent me away saying come back in 3 months. I don't even know for sure if I have VA, nobody has looked properly, although I have plenty of symptoms. I self diagnosed with the help of ladies on here and my useless original gp just agreed. I wish I could just accept this and stop obsessing about it :-\
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I haven't been diagnosed with VA either but I have all the symptoms and also the air bubbles escaping! I've not known anyone else report that symptom. I have been told it's pelvic floor dysfunction due to lack of oestrogen.
I wanted to suggest you take lots of magnesium though. Restless legs for one is almost definitely a symptom of magnesium deficiency. I recommend magnesium threonate or malate. Citrate is not the best and can have a strong laxative effect.
If we are stressed we use more magnesium. So please give it a try. You can even get mag oil to rub onto your skin.
Hi birdy and blot
Yes air bubbles escaping is something ive read about by at least one other person. When it happens for me it's usually before my perio but more recently it's all of the time.
I knew when it started (4/5 years ago) that it was the vagina walls and labia thinning out but did not know what that meant in the bigger picture.
Also watery discharge is another symptom. Again mine changed from thick and plenty to watery thin yesrs ago. Sorry tmi but I assumed I didn't have dryness bc I had some discharge albeit thin. But apparently this is a classic sign bc it's not thick enough to keep everything moist and lubricated as it just drips out and doesn't stick to the walls inside.
More recently I've developed burning sensation occasionally feels like sunburn to my vulva and bottom. One night I was walking about like I'd been riding a horse all day., it vanished after 5 hours. Internal and external mild stabbing pain, arousal sensations and the weird back issues...not sure if they're related (back and vagina)
I got some chelate magesium yesterday 😊
Blot
I can relate. I don't know who exactly would be the correct person to diagnose VA visually. I've had a private gyno literally glance at mine without any spot light...and say “looks ok to me†(I refused to pay him for other reasons)
And I had s women's Physio Therapist who performs pelvic floor massage all day for a living tell me I didn't have it because VA presents as shiny skin and lack of colour.
But as a well known sufferer who wrote a book on the subject said, “by the time it becomes evident externally the damage is alresdy done internally “
The physio therapist added it wouldn't hurt to use Vagifem so I am .
But blot you need to hsve an examination if only to give you some peace. Is there not a nurse at your surgery.?
A local GUM. clinic are meant to be much better at diagnosing vagina issues that our GPs are or at least that's what I've read here on the forums
The nhs doesn't appear to recognise VA preferring to call it “dry vagina “
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginal-dryness/
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It is difficult to judge when looking yourself
I looked last night but I can't remember what it looked like ten years ago.,
I have colour to the exterior it doesn't look pale or shiny. But the inner labia does look like the pages of a wet book sticking together (as described in the book below)
The inner labia has thousands of glands whose job it is to lubricate the exterior of the vagina. In meno these glands dry up.
My Menopausal Vagina
https://www.amazon.co.uk/ME-MY-MENOPAUSAL-VAGINA-Vaginal/dp/1916446701
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My GP said no VA but the same week, someone at a GUM clinic told me to trust my symptoms anc treat for VA. A menopause nurse told me i'm tight and that although I wasn't dry my tissues were quite pale.
The burning and stabbing pain are classic symptoms.
Interesting... you see for me the arousal and shivers to my back was the first symptom the burning and stabbing came soon after about two weeks.. either way it all happened at once from no where seemingly.
I don't itch or have any broken skin issues sex doesn't hurt. I guess we are all different.
I've had two ladies tell me Vagifem created the symptoms of arousal to their bits that I'm started with before Vagifem.
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My original useless gp did a pelvic exam but VA was not mentioned at all. I'd never heard of it at the time and just thought I had bladder problems following a uti. Mine started off as feeling like I needed to wee all the time then I became sore and uncomfortable inside and now I've got all that plus sometimes I ache as well. All sorts going on!
It really gets on my nerves when VA is described as "pain during sex". It's so much more than that. I'd give up sex forever if that would get rid of the symptoms.
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We are! The most sensitive part of a woman's body, we're bound to experience different symptoms. I have read the symptoms you describe from others on the VA Facebook page. I also get shooting sensations down my right leg into my foot.
Wow... that presents like sciatica which is a very common symptom of meno.
The lack of oestrogen effects our bones joints ligaments muscles skin and by default, nerves , much like oil to the parts of an engine... but I guess you know this...
I'm starting to feel more rational.. hope it lasts 🙄
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My original useless gp did a pelvic exam but VA was not mentioned at all. I'd never heard of it at the time and just thought I had bladder problems following a uti. Mine started off as feeling like I needed to wee all the time then I became sore and uncomfortable inside and now I've got all that plus sometimes I ache as well. All sorts going on!
It really gets on my nerves when VA is described as "pain during sex". It's so much more than that. I'd give up sex forever if that would get rid of the symptoms.
It's absolutely appalling that in this day and age women are left to self diagnose bc no one seems to care enough in the medical industry about such a devastating issue,
If we were men and our peckers were shrivelled and limp and we were not able to have sex due to pain the pharmaceutical industry would be al over it.
Case in point Viagra
Women are meant to put up and shut up.
I swear I've been laughed at by a private gyno. He folded his arms , leant back in his chair and smiled then said
“well, normally it's the other way when menopause effects women's sex drive†and then just sat there in silence. I was left to ask him if he would perform an exam I asked for a pain killer prescription which he denied on the grounds he only prescribed gynaecological drugs. And he flat out refused to look at some information I'd brought because it was written by an American doctor and he felt British medicine was simple and more realistic. He had no trust of American doctors as they're motivated by money..( said the man who invoiced me £259 for 20 minutes of humiliation)
I feel America is decades agead of uk when it comes to medicine in fact when it comes to many fields.
I complained to the hospital and they rejected my letter using the chaperone nurse as their witness to say nothing I reported took place. I refused to pay him though.
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Rose that's disgraceful. It would have devastated me if I'd seen that gynae doc and been treated that way. No wonder you have been so down.
I'd never even heard of this condition a few months ago. Now its my whole life :'(. How many more women are just putting up with this?
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I work on the basis that everything's drying out - eyes, mouth and nether regions so it all needs treating one way or another. Oh the joys, not 😣
Yes I noticed sore dry eye open waking over the last few years it was one of my new pms symptoms
And got my first sinus infection 6 years ago which is apparently another meno symptom.
I guess we limp along until so something happens we can't limp along with anymore
Blot
There's a lady who has written that book I linked to who had VA and pundendal neurologica (nerve pain that supplies senses to the vag clitoris anus back pelvis) and she had it in a very bad way.
She's 90% better with both but it took both local and systemic HRT to reverse the damage
Sometimes local is not enough it depends I guess on how far it's gome on for and our genetic make up,
Are you taking HRT?
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I work on the basis that everything's drying out - eyes, mouth and nether regions so it all needs treating one way or another. Oh the joys, not 😣
Are you on HRT sparkle?
I can see how fearful you might feel about food if it's having an effect on your wellbeing and pain.. I can't relate as digestion issues have never been a problem for me. I hope it at least calms down for you a bit once the hormones have ceased to fluctuate
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We are! The most sensitive part of a woman's body, we're bound to experience different symptoms. I have read the symptoms you describe from others on the VA Facebook page. I also get shooting sensations down my right leg into my foot.
To be fair one of those women was probably me lol .. I was so desperate to find other women who could match my symptoms... I had a lady ask me if my “hood†had shrunk exposing the sensitive bit. But no I can't say that's the cause... I've looked and partner said it seems fine (he would know better than I)
But even now 14 days in on Vagifem I'm getting new symptoms, knickers rubbing against my hair and external labia is irritating me when I have jeans on. It's like the hairs are moving against the fabric and it's uncomfortable.
Sparkle made a point about this and I dismissed it but today I see there's a link now. Everything is very sensitive all of a sudden
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Rose that's disgraceful. It would have devastated me if I'd seen that gynae doc and been treated that way. No wonder you have been so down.
I'd never even heard of this condition a few months ago. Now its my whole life :'(. How many more women are just putting up with this?
Blot list your symptoms
Did they all happen at once ?
I'm still with symptoms after 14 day loading dose but it's taken YEARS to reach the stage we're at now so it's not likely it's all going to snap back into place in a matter of weeks,
Seriously google your local GUM clinic they look at vaginas all day and hsve way more hands on experience than any GP
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Here here rose,women are slapped on the back and told it's normal,thrown some medication that 9 times out of 10 actually make them feel worse & told to get on with it.absolutely shocking xx
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Rose I am already going to the gum clinic. The doc there told me to restart the vagifem, after I gave up after 7 days. She was rolling her eyes when I told her about my first gp. I'm going back there next week. I've done the 14 day loading and just started week 4 but no improvement yet. I'm not sure if the vagifem has made things worse but my head is scrambled and I can't tell if I'm making things worse by overthinking.
It all started when I weed myself on the way to the toilet. I was horrified, totally panicked and thought I had bladder issues. Imagined peeing myself for the rest of my life so started frantically doing pelvic floor exercises till I got to see the doctor. She tested my urine in the office and said I had a uti so prescribed antibiotics. That was the start and I won't go into the palaver I had with this useless doctor! The feeling of needing to wee never went And a few weeks later I started feeling sore and uncomfortable inside. Many weeks later after a pelvic scan and back and forwards to the gp I asked for Vagifem. Doc wanted to give me meds for overactive bladder!
My symptoms are currently:
Pressure on the bladder - feeling like I need to wee
Sore urethra - like I need to wee
Sore just inside the vagina
Sore on the outside bits
Aching at the entrance to the vag
Maybe a bit of cramping but can't really be sure
The symptoms move around. Sometimes I'm ok in one area but something else is sore/hurts. I'm not in a lot of pain but it's uncomfortable and I'm aware the whole time. I've never had hrt. 8 years post meno and no other symptoms but funny you mention about the eyes. Sometimes I get this.
You are right Rose that it's not all going to snap back into place overnight but it seems to for some people?
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Here here rose,women are slapped on the back and told it's normal,thrown some medication that 9 times out of 10 actually make them feel worse & told to get on with it.absolutely shocking xx
Thing is I'm straight talking I have no filter and say things as I see them. I know I'm in the minority in that respect.
Apparently the vast majority of women will not visit their doctor to discuss vaginal pain or discomfort much less sex issues which doesn't help,
Menopause is seen as something we should be ashamed of. I was on a menopause Facebook page and a woman posted that she didn't feel she could post about her issues as she suspected other women from her place of work were also members of the group...
I was like: AND?
We're not in the Victorian era anymore.. we need to be paving the way for the next generation so they don't have to suffer needlessly and blindly as we are.
THANK GOD for the internet (with the exception of its link to health anxiety)
My mom told me all about periods and tampons and sex not a word was uttered about menopause
So imagine my shock at 40 years old experiencing what I now know to be pms for the first time in my life, anxiety insomnia depression heavy clots period pain... never had anything like that in my life.
The doctor told me I was too young for menopause (no mention of peri) put me on ADs.
Took me two years of taking those ADs to realise my symptoms always waxed and waned and happened two weeks before my period...I was experiencing pms. Just didn't recognise it as I'd never had it up until That age. (Honest)
So pms is part of My peri menopause symptoms.
I don't trust doctors I do my own research and tell them what I believe is wrong with me and what I'd like to try. Admittedly that plan has backfired more recently due to health anxiety.. 😅
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Rose I am already going to the gum clinic. The doc there told me to restart the vagifem, after I gave up after 7 days. She was rolling her eyes when I told her about my first gp. I'm going back there next week. I've done the 14 day loading and just started week 4 but no improvement yet. I'm not sure if the vagifem has made things worse but my head is scrambled and I can't tell if I'm making things worse by overthinking.
It all started when I weed myself on the way to the toilet. I was horrified, totally panicked and thought I had bladder issues. Imagined peeing myself for the rest of my life so started frantically doing pelvic floor exercises till I got to see the doctor. She tested my urine in the office and said I had a uti so prescribed antibiotics. That was the start and I won't go into the palaver I had with this useless doctor! The feeling of needing to wee never went And a few weeks later I started feeling sore and uncomfortable inside. Many weeks later after a pelvic scan and back and forwards to the gp I asked for Vagifem. Doc wanted to give me meds for overactive bladder!
My symptoms are currently:
Pressure on the bladder - feeling like I need to wee
Sore urethra - like I need to wee
Sore just inside the vagina
Sore on the outside bits
Aching at the entrance to the vag
Maybe a bit of cramping but can't really be sure
The symptoms move around. Sometimes I'm ok in one area but something else is sore/hurts. I'm not in a lot of pain but it's uncomfortable and I'm aware the whole time. I've never had hrt. 8 years post meno and no other symptoms but funny you mention about the eyes. Sometimes I get this.
You are right Rose that it's not all going to snap back into place overnight but it seems to for some people?
Well, how do you feel,about trying some body identical HRT?
I've learned the hard way that we need Oestrogen for so many reasons, heart, bones, brain,
I'd ask for blood serum levels and if you're lacking, try some oestrogen it really can't hurt or make the current situation worse...
if I had to bet, I'd say you're dealing with long term Oestrogen deficiency which has manifested itself in your reproductive organs. It's your bodies way of telling you there's a problem... we need Oestrogen.. you won't need to use Progesterone as you no longer have cycles.
It could be so good for your moods and anxiety too.
You have nothing to lose and so much to gain in trying it.
What do you think?
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Rose I am already going to the gum clinic. The doc there told me to restart the vagifem, after I gave up after 7 days. She was rolling her eyes when I told her about my first gp. I'm going back there next week. I've done the 14 day loading and just started week 4 but no improvement yet. I'm not sure if the vagifem has made things worse but my head is scrambled and I can't tell if I'm making things worse by overthinking.
It all started when I weed myself on the way to the toilet. I was horrified, totally panicked and thought I had bladder issues. Imagined peeing myself for the rest of my life so started frantically doing pelvic floor exercises till I got to see the doctor. She tested my urine in the office and said I had a uti so prescribed antibiotics. That was the start and I won't go into the palaver I had with this useless doctor! The feeling of needing to wee never went And a few weeks later I started feeling sore and uncomfortable inside. Many weeks later after a pelvic scan and back and forwards to the gp I asked for Vagifem. Doc wanted to give me meds for overactive bladder!
My symptoms are currently:
Pressure on the bladder - feeling like I need to wee
Sore urethra - like I need to wee
Sore just inside the vagina
Sore on the outside bits
Aching at the entrance to the vag
Maybe a bit of cramping but can't really be sure
The symptoms move around. Sometimes I'm ok in one area but something else is sore/hurts. I'm not in a lot of pain but it's uncomfortable and I'm aware the whole time. I've never had hrt. 8 years post meno and no other symptoms but funny you mention about the eyes. Sometimes I get this.
You are right Rose that it's not all going to snap back into place overnight but it seems to for some people?
Here's an interesting article on the subject of HRT after menopause
http://medicalrepublic.com.au/late-late-start-hormone-therapy/10821
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Thanks. But I thought that I would still need progesterone as I still have a uterus and oestrogen will thicken the lining? It's the progesterone bit that worries me tbh. And as for blood tests, does the nhs even do these post meno%.
My new gp did mention hrt when I was last in her office blubbering but because I have no other symptoms I wasn't keen. It is something worth considering though.
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The thing is girls, these feelings are real! Regardless of causation, once a symptom begins the brain focuses there; if over the counter remedies don't work, we go to the GP and if we aren't listened to, it can play on our mind.
Chronic health worry is tiring. It can cause depression. Anxiety. Which is draining. Hence the desire to stay in bed. Every morning I wake and think "my head is depressed this morning" but once out and having eaten breakfast, I begin to feel better. My brain requires nourishment. Regularly. Otherwise it goes into meltdown :-\. If my gut kicks in then I'm back to bed ...... until the anti-anxiety medication kicks in, either I sleep or can get up and do stuff.
Menopause wasn't mentioned until I was older. No need to tell me any earlier ........ no emptathy ::). Keeping a mood/food/symptom diary can be useful, making a double appt to see Practice Nurse or GP as well as trying to get a late appt. ;-). I hand my list to the my GP and ask "Can we work through this and prioritise?"
........ and breath [wish I could, without coughing ::)]
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Rose I am already going to the gum clinic. The doc there told me to restart the vagifem, after I gave up after 7 days. She was rolling her eyes when I told her about my first gp. I'm going back there next week. I've done the 14 day loading and just started week 4 but no improvement yet. I'm not sure if the vagifem has made things worse but my head is scrambled and I can't tell if I'm making things worse by overthinking.
It all started when I weed myself on the way to the toilet. I was horrified, totally panicked and thought I had bladder issues. Imagined peeing myself for the rest of my life so started frantically doing pelvic floor exercises till I got to see the doctor. She tested my urine in the office and said I had a uti so prescribed antibiotics. That was the start and I won't go into the palaver I had with this useless doctor! The feeling of needing to wee never went And a few weeks later I started feeling sore and uncomfortable inside. Many weeks later after a pelvic scan and back and forwards to the gp I asked for Vagifem. Doc wanted to give me meds for overactive bladder!
My symptoms are currently:
Pressure on the bladder - feeling like I need to wee
Sore urethra - like I need to wee
Sore just inside the vagina
Sore on the outside bits
Aching at the entrance to the vag
Maybe a bit of cramping but can't really be sure
The symptoms move around. Sometimes I'm ok in one area but something else is sore/hurts. I'm not in a lot of pain but it's uncomfortable and I'm aware the whole time. I've never had hrt. 8 years post meno and no other symptoms but funny you mention about the eyes. Sometimes I get this.
You are right Rose that it's not all going to snap back into place overnight but it seems to for some people?
Also I, sure you've been told this alresdy but there is quite often a “worse before better†period of time.
I expected this before I started Vagifem
The same applies to HRT in general
The reason is all of those oestrogen cells that have dried up are stimulated by the hormone and this causes a reaction or stimulation.
The bladder and vagina has thousands of oestrogen cells , they need oestrogen like a battery if you will in order to do their job which is lubricating the vagina and bladder strength..
now, you're experiencing Oestrogen deficiency symptoms that's a fact, and those cells are all waking up after years of being dormant.
It makes sense if you think about it.
Imagine an old car that's been left in the garage for years never used, then you put Petrol in the tank and oil to the dipstick..and start it up...
it's coughing and spluttering at first, the engine speeds up then almost stalls as it tries to get the petrol and oil circulating again...and it takes a good 10 mins before it starts running smoothly again.
Probably not the best analogy but hope it makes sense 😊
EDIT
I've read from two women who whilst initially using Vagifem experienced the sexual sensations I started with before I used Vagifem. It made me nervous but I used it anyway.
What that goes to show is that symptoms often can be the same for those who are lacking in Oestrogen and those who are starting to use Oestrogen.. it's complicated and no one can say why one woman loses libido whilst another's libido increases both as a result of menopause.
We're all very different and this is why one HRT might be wonderful for one woman and a total disaster for another.
Same rule for ADs too,