Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Blot on October 21, 2018, 02:50:29 PM
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Im am very low at the moment. Anxiety has floored me. I'm crying all the time and just feel so alone.
I feel a bit let down by my gp, who I'm not seeing again, been referred to her colleague and I'm not looking forward to that as I'm not that keen on her as well. If you haven't read my posts, I tried vagifem for 7 days and thought it might have made things worse, so asked gp about it. She told me to stop because I was anxious about it :o and gave me Canestan hydrocortisone cream and palmed me off onto one of her colleagues. I haven't used the cream as I don't think it's appropriate.
Now I'm in limbo, waiting and feeling sore and uncomfortable until I see the new gp on Wednesday. I was advised on the VA Facebook page to go to the GUM clinic to get checked first and this is what I'm planning on doing tomorrow but I'm doubting everything.
Should I go to GUM clinic? Will it upset new gp if she knows I've been? Should I even tell her? Why didn't I just stick with the vagifem and give it time? Around and around it goes in my head.
Meanwhile, I have zero appetite, cry at the drop of a hat, have trouble sleeping etc etc and I want a massive glass of wine to calm me down.
I have had anxiety for a long time off and on. I don't think it can be hormonal as I had it well before the menopause but the last 4 or 5 years it's been generally worse. Teenage kids didn't help mind! I tried bring up the subject of anxiety with the gp but she didn't want to discuss it. Her answer was stop the vag, take this cream and see my colleague. Never mind I'm crying in her office and obviously struggling with anxiety! I even think I shouldn't be posting on here because I'm not on hrt and haven't suffered much on the whole until now.
Hubby isn't much help. Well he is and he isn't. He listens and fully understands about stress and anxiety and I talk to him, cry at him and just want a hug and be told it will all be ok. But he doesn't do that. I don't want to see my mum as I will get upset and don't want to upset her. I know she's worried about me already but she doesn't know how bad I am.
So it's the pits and I'm so depressed about the future. I know it's not the end of the world and some folk have things a lot worse or their symptoms are a lot worse, and that makes me feel even more pants by being a wuss.
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So sorry to hear your feeling like this.gps are on the whole complete planks when it comes to dealing with emotions.
You can go to the gum clinic and you can be as anonymous as you want to you can specify this when your there.
Why not give the vagifem another try or you could try some estriol cream it may agree with you more ,forget the canestan it stings like hell and is not what she should have given you anyway.make a sitz bath or bucket with water and a bit of bicarb in it to soothe the area and see what the gum clinic recommend.dont stress as this tightens the muscles and will make you sorer.say stuff you planks I'll do my own research then and I'll get the help I need via forums like this and from people who care.read as much as you can from here and learn to relax use mindfulness free on you tube or apps on your phone.find other methods of helping yourself and trust me you'll get there.good luck and keep posting xx D.D
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Thanks DD.
I do think I should give the vagifem a proper try. I don't feel any better not using it so I'll see what this new doc thinks.
If I wasn't so anxious and fixated on this all the time things would be a lot better. It may be time to think about taking antidepressants :-\
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You see now blot your already being pro active and positive in making the decision to retry the vagifem don't wait do it now and get the full benefits asap.
Go to your gum appointment tomorrow and just get checked out for reassurance and you haven't said if your on hrt etc so weigh up your options and discuss with gp before you jump on the antidepressant route you may not need to go there I don't know your full history sorry but hrt is first line treatment,as recommended in the Nice guidelines,before any anti depressants so read up on the forum for info on all these things.if you can't find things type it in the search box at the top of the page and that'll help you.good luck and you'll crack it xx D.D
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I'm not in any hrt. 8years post meno and I've never been offered any hrt or has it been suggested that I need any. Probably because I haven't been in complaining about flushes etc until now with this atrophy and I'm the one who suggested i had atrophy.
I haven't got gum clinic appointment as such, I'm going to the walk in session and Im “shall I, shan't I go†constantly. My head never stops buzzing.
That's interesting about hrt being the first line treatment. I've just always been anxious so thought it was just me. I shall mention it.
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Blot
I think your GP sounds horrendous. She is there to help patients not pick & choose what symptoms she wants to treat. It is her job to do that. No wonder you feel so let down. I agree with keeping with the vagifem to help treat the VA. But you also need something for your anxiety. Why not ask your doctor to refer you to a menopause specialist as your GP doesn't seem capable of helping you with your menopause symptoms. There are other options & other doctors out there to help you. Xx
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Thanks. I did stop the vagifem but intend either starting this again or maybe the ovestin depending on what this new doc suggests. Who knows she might be great.
I do need help with my anxiety. That's for sure.
Menopause specialist might be an option, but not sure if we've got anyone good in my part of the country.
It's crap that we have to fight and push for everything and that we know more about all this than a lot of our gps. Specialist menopause clincs are needed in every town!
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Blot you sound exactly like me I've shed buckets since I was diagnosed and I'm still dithering, I've seen 3 GPS and they know less than the ladies on here. I'm persevering with Vagifem ,day 5 today and using ovestin for the sore bits and taking one day at a time. It seems to be a case of not one treatment suits all and we need to find what suits us. I'm due to see the first GP in 3 weeks and this time I'm going armed with information off here 😃
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Thanks Daska86.
I feel really pathetic. I'm 54 and shouldn't be going on like this. I thought I was stronger but all I want to do is hide in then house and wallow.
It most definitely helps knowing there are others out there like me and I don't know what I'd do without places like this as well.
We need to support each other because we aren't getting it from our gps.
Stay strong and wish me luck.
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Hello Blot.
I understand how you feel. The anxiety that has come with the menopause has made me despair at times. I am using HRT and that may be why I don't have many other issues but the jittery sensations and general sense of unease are fairly constant. I will be seeing my consultant at the end of the month and will pass on any words of wisdom ( I live in hope ).
Wishing you well.
K.
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I think I'm having a mini breakdown. Don't feel well enough to go to work tomorrow but what do you say? It's so embarrassing.
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Hi Blot,
I started to suffer with VA symptoms two years ago, I had never suffered with anxiety before this VA had started, I had a pelvic and abdominal scan as well as internal scan, Gynaecologist felt it was vaginal dryness, I was shocked to be honest, didn't realise such a thing could cause such misery...I have a bladder problems with all this.
Been on vagifem and timeline for 18 months, must say have good and bad days.
On Propranolol for anxiety...I was very unwell with this to be honest lost weight shaking etc:
Didn't want to go down this road but in the end felt a little out of control, and it had helped me.
excersise is also good for our well being, I've started running only little steps and swimming is good.
Go to the Gum clinic you may have some reassurances there and good luck...things will get better 🙂
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Sorry few typing mistakes there I meant Hrt- Timbelone
Take care Blot
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Hi Blot, don't let them tell you it's a mini breakdown or any other psychobabble - it's the f*****g menopause and shame on all these GPs and even specialists, who still don't understand the hell that is anxiety and depression caused by hormones. I'm right in the middle of it and am frequently suicidal, have done the rounds of mental health services and ADs and ended up phoning the Samaritans yesterday because anxiety was making me feel so dreadful. You have a right to see a menopause specialist on the NHS, but you'll have to be proactive to do it, so find out where your nearest one is and then go to your GP with the specific request to be referred to them. And not just a gynaecologist, they can be just as ignorant, a proper menopause clinic. Where do you live? Look at the specialists link at the top of the page and find the nearest one to you. Then go to your GP and just insist - IT IS OUR RIGHT >:(
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It is known here that some ladies are sensitive to the fillers/packaging of Vagifem. Also, years ago it was prescribed as 25 and now it's low, at 10 ....... so some require alternate nightly use and some every night.
Ovestin may be a better choice for you. Similar product but delivered slightly differently.
HORMONES! can cause upheaval. GPs simply don't get it, they don't have empathy. NICE guidelines don't let anyone know how awful some symptoms can be. Some GPs still think that unless a lady is having flushes she isn't menopausal >:(
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Just an update. Been to the GUM clinic and saw a nice lady doctor who was a bit :o at my gp telling me to stop the vagifem and that she didn't explain that it could cause irritation. She's not a menopause expert but seemed to know her stuff. She had a look and confirms it's atrophy and that I should start back on the vagifem and go back and see her in a month when she will check and see if things are improving. So I've no need to go back to my useless gp for now.
I think I just needed someone actually knows what they are talking about to reassure me, although you lovely ladies have been doing this all along. So here we go again :)
Daska, did your gp give you ovestin to use as well as the vagifem. I might order some online to use a tiny bit on the outside if I get too sore. Can't face going into my gps and fighting for this at the moment. Don't suppose it can do any harm.
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Hi blot that was a great result at the clinic tiday for you.i assume you got the annonimity you wanted lol.
I would advise you use the vagifem inside and don't complicate things for yourself by adding in ovestin cream just now so you can monitor the vagifem instead buy some cold pressed raw organic coconut oil from Holland and barrats.little blue tub near the tills it's on a great offer just now at £1 it's a life saver great for the soft tissues in that area you'll see how quickly it soothes you and takes away all the burning and swelling and promotes healing.its antibacterial so also fab for thrush.give it a try I highly recommend.x well done today was a good day for you xx D.D
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I'll look out for that DD. I could do with something to soothe things. How do you use that then? I assume you don't put it inside?
I didn't care about anonymity at all when I got there.
It started out a good day but I'm struggling a bit again. Cancelled my gp appointment for Wednesday then changed my mind and re-made it. They're going to think I'm a right nutter. I am ;)
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I would cancel the GP appt., what do you expect to achieve except aggravation? Give the HRT time to work which can be 5-6 weeks or almost immediately. Then you will have something to tell your GP. If the Vagifem continues to irritate then ask the GP for Ovestin. Are you going to use Yes and Sylc products for the outer vaginal lips?
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CLKD I can't cancel the appointment again. Besides I want to ask about my anxiety and whether it could be hormone related. Also I have questions about hrt and whether I should be on it seeing as I was youngish when I had my last period.
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Let us know how you get on.
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Thank you CLKD I will.
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:bighug:
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Your anxiety definitely can be hormone related!!! Racjen will agree with me, I'm sure, and others too.
I'm so sorry, Blot, that you are struggling. Me too. I have anxiety about everything but my “specialist subject†is health anxiety ::)
My notes/diary are invaluable. I'm actually looking at my notes from this time last year and I could have written them today!
I have always been a bit of a fuss pot worrier type and had bad OCD as a child but this anxiety came with the perimenopause. I know it.
Well done on your perseverance with the GP's and the clinic. You are doing well, even if it doesn't feel like it.
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Thank you AgathaC. I don't feel like I'm doing well. I feel dreadful again tonight. I'm so uncomfortable, sore, stinging, need to wee and just don't know what to do. My heart is pounding. And yet this morning I was quite upbeat because I had a plan. However, this time last week after I had been taking vagifem the first time for 5 days, I had a most excellent day. No problems for the whole day, then in the evening they came back and I plunged back down into despair and took myself off to the doctors in tears. If doc had reassured me, not ignored my anxiety and given the wrong advice things might have been different.
If I could just relax about it all it would be so much better.
How can you tell if this is hormone related and not just me? I've had this on and off for many years. :'(
I can't cope with this much longer, it's ruining my life. It's all I think about.
I think I need antidepressants and as much as I loathe taking anything like that I just can't go on feeling like this. Sorry I'm so miserable.
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Does it matter whether it's hormonal or not? You have anxiety symptoms. If you weren't thinking along the lines of hormonal involvement what would you ask your GP for?
As a long-term sufferer of anxiety the important issue was to treat the symptoms not the cause!
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I think the time has come to properly address the anxiety and take antidepressants as it's turning into depression now. I'm off work next week so might be a good time to start,
Just got to get through today at work.
On the plus side I had a better night than I thought so here we go day 2.
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Hello Blot and everyone. I've been away dealing with another massive life issue. I took my eye off the menopause ball so to speak and thought I could do without HRT. Well I was wrong. In fact the symptoms are far more extreme now in terms of anxiety, shaking limbs and creeping flesh: foggy brain is worse than before. I applied for early retirement yesterday, as I can't carry on in the way I've been going. I must address my health.
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Good morning blot.are you making sure your drinking plenty water to dilute your urine and are you avoiding anything acidic or fizzy in your diet.it takes the bladder a good 6 months to heal after repeated utis and remember if you have v.a you have loads if thin paper cuts all over the V lips so until you address this and get it healed it's still going to sting like hell everywhere so try and focus on solving this first and use the coconut oil I recommended on your other post to do the healing on the outside for you while the vagifem concentrates on pumping up the tissue on the inside,if you persevere you will get really quick results.also don't get constipated as the straining can resplit the fragile skin around the whole area again.why can't you try hrt or is it not something you'd like to consider?as I said previously it's first line treatment for anxiety but sometimes some ladies need to use this and mild anxiety meds together so you really need to discuss your options with a decent consultant.i guess right now you feel like your chasing your tail we've all been there but you can improve this so don't feel isolated there's help there.maybe send an email to Dr Currie it's around £30 now and ask her for her advice and recommendations then print thus off and go armed and educated to your next gp appointment and you tell her what help you want using the print out as back up.be confident and assertive but never rude and you'll get results.keep your chin up you can do this.good luck xx D.D
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Thank you AgathaC. I don't feel like I'm doing well. I feel dreadful again tonight. I'm so uncomfortable, sore, stinging, need to wee and just don't know what to do. My heart is pounding. And yet this morning I was quite upbeat because I had a plan. However, this time last week after I had been taking vagifem the first time for 5 days, I had a most excellent day. No problems for the whole day, then in the evening they came back and I plunged back down into despair and took myself off to the doctors in tears. If doc had reassured me, not ignored my anxiety and given the wrong advice things might have been different.
If I could just relax about it all it would be so much better.
How can you tell if this is hormone related and not just me? I've had this on and off for many years. :'(
I can't cope with this much longer, it's ruining my life. It's all I think about.
I think I need antidepressants and as much as I loathe taking anything like that I just can't go on feeling like this. Sorry I'm so miserable.
Even if you had anxiety before, the hormones can make it worse. But to what extent, hard to say.
You might have felt great those days because a bit of that estrogen from the vagifem might have been getting into your system. I know there was a thread discussing that happening because of the thin walls with VA until things get plumped back up.
The antidepressants might help and be what you need, they might not. Maybe just see about an emergency pill for the anxiety instead if you aren't completely ready to commit to the antidepressants. I have some but rarely ever take it(although I've probably needed it several times I should have, yesterday being one). It's nice knowing it's there.
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I think it is hard to say whether hormones play a role in my anxiety BlueButterfly. When I said I felt great that day, I meant that my symptoms were almost gone, I still felt very uneasy and anxious.
What do you mean by emergency medication? Diazepam or something? My anxiety has turned into depression I fear. :'(
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Yes, something like that for an emergency medicine. I have Xanax, alprazolam. My anxiety is turning into depression as well. I feel like if I could get the anxiety under control then it would help the depression but I don't know until I try it. I'm thinking of heading back to counseling as well.
Even on my good days where I feel almost normal, I still have odd things like a pounding heart or such. I'm starting to think it might be underlying anxiety, always just there....waiting. :'(
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Yes, it's there a lot. Today has been a good and busy day but about two hours ago I felt Anxiety come in to the room, as it were. It feels like it's behind me and I try to ignore it but I can't. Now it's in my stomach and I feel sick and shaky and tearful. Ugh.
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Yes, it's there a lot. Today has been a good and busy day but about two hours ago I felt Anxiety come in to the room, as it were. It feels like it's behind me and I try to ignore it but I can't. Now it's in my stomach and I feel sick and shaky and tearful. Ugh.
I'm so sorry! I understand so much. Loved your description though. It's so spot on.
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Doctor number 2 appointment this morning. See what she has to say if anything.
I'm going to try and get this anxiety sorted because I've had 3 months of non stop worrying and I'm depressed now as well. I truly don't think it's hormonal, its just me but will see what doc has to say.
Terrified that antidepressants will make me worse to start with as they often do. But I don't think I can feel any worse than i already do. When I have taken them in the past they didn't make me worse but I was rock bottom when I took them.
I really can't take any time off work sick though so hope I can handle them.
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Hi there,will you let us know how you got on at gp? You sound like so many of us, my anxiety is causing me to lose so much weight,panic attacks through the night,I'm not coping. I have dr on Monday re a recurring gut infection also diverticulitis so needless to say I think weight loss might be something else.have you lost weight?
Anyway very good luck for today
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Yes I've lost weight but just because I'm not eating.
I've been in and doc was lovely. Said to stick with them and it could be 2 or 3 months before I see any effect. Also said it was fine to use 2 tablets twice a week if I wanted so u suppose every other night would be OK.
She mentioned the British Menopause Society and said I could have hrt patches and to think about it.
I was a total wreck in there though. Crying and forgot to ask about the cream if I can't tolerate the vagifem but I feel happier about seeing her. She gave me propranolol as well as I'm so upset - please don't give me horror stories about that. Can't cope with any more things to worry about. I might not even take them but just knowing I have them helps.
I've also come off the VA Facebook page because it is just upsetting me more. Too many bad stories and I need good things and encouragement.
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I'm taking nothing bar herbal remedies so it would be good to hear how you get on with it all.
You're like me,I've got all these things I want to tell dr but get so upset & flustered I forget to tell her half the things I want to say,mind you I'd be in there most of the day if I wanted to tell her everything ;D
Anyway fingers crossed you start to feel better soon xx
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Yes Jaypo, upset and flustered just about sums me up. I can't have an intelligent conversation at the moment and that's why I wanted my OH to come with me but he wouldn't :(
What herbal remedies are you taking?
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Yes I've lost weight but just because I'm not eating.
I've been in and doc was lovely. Said to stick with them and it could be 2 or 3 months before I see any effect. Also said it was fine to use 2 tablets twice a week if I wanted so u suppose every other night would be OK.
She mentioned the British Menopause Society and said I could have hrt patches and to think about it.
I was a total wreck in there though. Crying and forgot to ask about the cream if I can't tolerate the vagifem but I feel happier about seeing her. She gave me propranolol as well as I'm so upset - please don't give me horror stories about that. Can't cope with any more things to worry about. I might not even take them but just knowing I have them helps.
I've also come off the VA Facebook page because it is just upsetting me more. Too many bad stories and I need good things and encouragement.
Hi Blot,
I remember another member was going to CBT and they advised her to come off this forum for a while as it was making her anxiety worse. I sometimes have to take a break as I have anxiety/health anxiety and reading some things can make me worse!
I hope the medication work for you and you start to see an improvement. Good luck.
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I can understand that Snooze. My husband doesn't think I should be on here because I'm seeking reassurance and you don't always get it so it makes me worse. Everybody's different and there will always be someone who has a negative experience and unfortunately when you are anxious, that's the one you take note of.
Probably a good idea to step back a bit but it's easier said than done.
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Yes it's a difficult one. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that you start to see an improvement.
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Thank you x
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Yes I've lost weight but just because I'm not eating.
I've been in and doc was lovely. Said to stick with them and it could be 2 or 3 months before I see any effect. Also said it was fine to use 2 tablets twice a week if I wanted so u suppose every other night would be OK.
She mentioned the British Menopause Society and said I could have hrt patches and to think about it.
I was a total wreck in there though. Crying and forgot to ask about the cream if I can't tolerate the vagifem but I feel happier about seeing her. She gave me propranolol as well as I'm so upset - please don't give me horror stories about that. Can't cope with any more things to worry about. I might not even take them but just knowing I have them helps.
I've also come off the VA Facebook page because it is just upsetting me more. Too many bad stories and I need good things and encouragement.
Hi Blot When you mention the GP's advice to continue with them, are you referring to the Vagifem? Did the doctor say anything about the irritation?. I had irritation problems with the Estriol cream. I tried taking bicarb of soda dissolved in water yesterday and this morning. it did help and the irritation has just about cleared up but I haven't inserted a Vagifem today.
I think i might contact the British menopause society myself.
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I'm taking valarian,Bach remedy drops & one other forgotten it's name,an old Indian remedy,its early days yet but I've got to try
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It's called ashwaganda,another lady on here recommended it,look it up xx