Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: ladylollipop on August 23, 2018, 08:33:43 PM
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Hello, I have a feeling of constant fear. It is like before an exam or as something is going to happen. It is really annoying. It is not panic but it stays the whole day. Who could agree or also had to deal with that feeling ?
Lady Lollipop
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Yep, like a feeling of doom. Like you are always on edge waiting for something to happen.
Hrt stopped it, but came back last few days...so obviously related to meno, which help me cope with it knowing I'm not going bonkers!
Upped hrt now- so fingers crossed
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Yes, I have this as part of my menopause symptoms and so far haven't found a solution - it's crippling. Which HRT stopped it for you Sgtvhilts?
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Hi
Femeston 1/10, but i am also taking a fair wack of ssri's ( have been for 20+years). As of tomorrow femoston 2/10.......
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Yes, I have this for most of the time. Many days I wake up with a real feeling of dread in my stomach. I try and analyse it and I am worried about everything and nothing all of the time! It has become proper anxiety now and I can work myself up into a real panic. I focus a lot on health anxiety and “what ifs†and worst case, doom type scenarios. Three years ago I was not like this. Now I am. I agree that it is very annoying and also quite exhausting. I wasted a good proportion of a recent holiday worrying. Ugh. I'm cross with myself that I can't shake it off. I don't want to feel like this but I really can't help it. I'm sure it's perimenopause anxiety.
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Yes totally. Just jitter jitter jitter the whole bloody time. It's horrible and exhausting. I constantly worry about something terrible happening.
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Yep I've had this for over 3 years now, every morning without fail I wake up with some degree of fear or dread. Some days are more manageable than others but it's constantly with me all day every day
X
Flo
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I had this and it became unbearable. I was already on an SSRI and HRT so they added pregabalin to the mix and now I am doing really well. Maybe worth considering if it becomes intolerable.
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Anxiety is my problem too. I have suffered before so can't really tell if it is definitely related to menopause, but as it reappeared around the same time as other menopause symptoms I think there is definitely a connection. I am trying a different SSRI to see if that helps. I just want it to stop. Makes life so difficult. Good to know I'm not alone but sad that so many of us are suffering with this xx
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Yes, definitely. I can get it anytime. I notice it particularly if it happens when I'm driving. It can wake me up ay night as well. Horrible. I'm on the same HRT as you and it has helped a lot - so sorry to hear it hasn't helped you :-( x
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Hello Tiddles, how long did it take for you till HRT worked well?
Lady lollipop x
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Yes I can relate to this. It's almost like the feeling you get when you are on the edge of a cliff and look down. I cry at the drop of a hat too; even when people are being kind! It definitely comes and goes whatever ' regime' I am on and whatever I have tried taking. The only thing I find is exercise (in my case jogging) make me feel more normal, plus eating little and often. I am also much better when I am out of the house or engaged in something away from my thoughts. I think it feeds on itself. The more you dwell on it the worse it gets.
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Hello everyone,
Not been on here in a while...I thought I was on the right Medication for me...how wrong was I!!
Anyway, yes, as previous replies...I get jittery and have recently had bad bouts of anxiety, so bad i didn't want to leave the house. I can cope with most of the symptoms of Menopause, but the anxiety...no.
Claire
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Hi Lollipop. Sorry I've just realised it was another member, not you, who said she was on Femoston 1/10 - the same as me. For me, the anxiety diminished very quickly - within the first month of starting HRT. I still get panicky feelings occassionally but these days I can see that it has been triggered by somthing 'real' going on in my life - a worry, or stress whereas before the HRT there were no grounds for it at all which is one reason I was convinced it was hormonal. x
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PS I'm 7 months on HRT now x
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On this topic, what I find hardest to explain to people who have never experienced anxiety, is how every day when I wake up anxious and stay that way for hours, I can get no comfort from knowing that it will pass and I'll feel almost normal again, until it all starts up again the next day. The anxiety somehow tricks you into believing that this time it might be different and it may just get worse and worse until.....well I don't know what but it worries me to death anyway! I feel that if I could just believe that it will pass I would be able to cope much better, but the anxiety doesn't let me do that. It's so awful having to deal with these feelings and try to live a normal life
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That's a good point Miabella. It's what proves to me that it's physical in origin (hormonal), rather than mental or emotional - you can't think your way out of it or through it :-(
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Yes Miabella, that's exactly it. When I talk to women about anxiety I can tell pretty quickly which ones 'get it' in the sense that they're suffering from hormonal anxiety - it's completely different from anything cognitive or emotional. And I've met many women who've been suffering from this for months and have no idea that it's a menopausal symptom. And of course because most doctors don't seem to realise either they carry on prescribing the usual psychiatric drugs.
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Cortisol may be too blame for early morning wakening in fear, I remember it too well. I was depressed with constant anxiety at the time, appropriate medication eased symptoms. I woke and had to get out of bed immediately. My brain would race. Probably due to my not eating correctly [recoverying anorexic] so my body was hungry. However, it was awful :'(
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I get early morning anxiety, but changing my eating habits makes no difference at all - for ages I was eating a bedtime snack, tried keeping oatcakes and bananas next to my bed to eat immediately on waking, eating small meals every 3-4 hours - none of it made any difference whatsoever.
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I have had anxiety, very badly, several times since I was teenager, sometimes out of the blue for no apparent reason, and once after I had my first child, but not with my second, so I honestly don't know what causes it in my case. What I do know is that even if this time it's due to menopause then it feels exactly how it has felt before. If you have never experienced anxiety until you hit peri or post menopause then it's easier to attribute it to hormones, but if you have had episodes before then that makes it much harder to know how to try to treat it. Then the whole trial and error scenario of HRT becomes even more problematic when you don't even know if the anxiety is hormonal in the first place. I honestly think that anxiety is impossible to truly understand unless you have experienced it and sadly most professionals who deal with us never have.
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TUCK.com
"In the hour or so before awakening, the body starts to “rev up†and prepare for more activity. The body temperature starts to rise, having reached its lower level near the end of the sleep period. The blood pressure increases with increases in serum levels of ACTH and cortisol. (This is why heart attacks are more common in the morning.)" [which is why I insist that men sit down to pee in the night!]
Just as sleep onset and maintenance are influenced by a complex soup of neurotransmitters, so waking up involves changes in brain chemical levels and the activity of certain neurons. Norepinephrine, acetylcholine, serotonin, and histamine are among the substances that make major level changes during the wake-up process, and orexins are critical for keeping the brain awake during the day.
From a physiological/EEG point of view, awakening involves a large increase in electrical activity in the cortex. "
Maybe make a list of chores each evening so that you can tick off what you do in the daytime, that way you can see your achievements. Sounds trite but it may encourage the brain to be more relaxed over night. I did this for a few years when every ill with depression and anxiety, even to the point of every day things, i.e. feed cats, make toast, drink a cuppa ...... as I recovered from the illness I needed to put down less and less chores .........
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I often make that list in my head when I need reminding that I'm actually coping well despite the anxiety. Xx
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Hello Tiddles, I use Fem7 sequi patches
It is unbelievable how many of us have to deal with anxiety and the feeling of fear.
Flo, you wrote you have the anxiety and this awful feeling for 3 years now. Do you take something?
I have realized that my spaced out feeling left nearly 3 days after I started with the patches. The jittery is also a bit better. So I don't know what to do in the future with the AD . Maybe I need HRT only. But who can tell me?
Lady lollipop x
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Is it possible to use Estrogen only element of Femoston?
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I sympathise with everything you all say.
I have had a lot of anxiety since the decline in oestrogen. I've sobbed today over something I've done which was rash but not life threatening, and can be changed. But my levels of hysteria were so disproportionate.
It's making life very hard for me.
I feel crushed down by something all of a sudden.
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Hi Nohreoicsplease,
You're so right when you say it makes life very hard. It casts a cloud over life when the anxiety is there. And for me the lack of control over it makes it all the worse. I have had a couple of better days so was starting to allow myself to think my change of AD was starting to work, but today I feel bad again so am worrying that the AD isn't going to work.
Thanks to everyone sharing on this post. It does help to know I'm not alone in this
Xx
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Today is a great example of a “constant feeling of fear†day. I'm having a perfectly nice Sunday at home doing jobs and odd and ends but I'm walking around feeling like I know some awful secret/something terrible is about to happen/the world is going to end. I feel very anxious, nauseous, jittery. I can't control it. I can kind of set it to the side but I know it's there, all the time. I wish I could give myself a good shake and tell myself everything is okay but I can't and even if I could it wouldn't make any difference!!! I feel like I can bear the headaches and the funny flashes and the constantly sore boobs and the weight gain but the anxiety makes me not only feel like a different person but a MAD different person at that. Ugh. Going to put on some loud music and dance around the kitchen. That sometimes helps :o I've decided it's like having a really negative friend constantly ruining the party. I just need to drown her out or better still ask her to leave ::)
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AgathaC - when did you last eat? and keep hydrated as headaches can be caused when the body is thirsty.
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AgathaC, god I really really get what you're describing - mine is very very acute early in the morning at the moment, so bad I really feel like it's going to overwhelm me, and then pretty suddenly at around 11ish it just goes and I'm left with the horrible after-effects of all that adrenaline (feeling of weakness like I've just had flu). At other times it's been there in the background, less intense but constant and casting a horrible black shadow over whatever I'm doing. And CLKD, eating patterns may make a difference to the kind of anxiety you suffer from, but as I keep saying, for many of us on here they really don't - that's one of the differences between hormonal and non-hormonal anxiety.
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Thanks everyone xx
I've eaten and drunk and kept busy but it's still there. Aaargh. I haven't slept well for days which doesn't help but which doesn't cause it (I think).
Definitely feel overwhelmed at times and definitely get a feeling of exhaustion and being wrung out when the panic subsides.
I'm sure it's hormonal because I get (what I call) boob surges at the same time.
I've got so many symptoms that I feel like I'm going nuts xx
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I too believe there is nothing I can do to prevent anxiety or make it go. Lying down, however strong the urge, seems to make it worse, but I have no control over when it comes or goes, or how severe it is. It is the worst thing I have ever experienced. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but sometimes I wish those around me could me feel how it is just for a couple of hours and then they'd understand how awful I feel.
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Hello ladies.
I can sympathise with you all as I often have this horrible panicky feeling for absolutely no logical reason. I've posted before about suddenly feeling afraid of something inanimate or ridiculous. I've even had it about an upcoming event that I'm not involved with at all. Scared of something that someone else is doing is bizarre I think you'll agree lol!
My trusty meno book talks about feelings of dread and being overwhelmed by tasks that we used to handle easily and that resonates with me. Weirdly when I'm calm ( and yes, it does happen occasionally ) nothing seems to bother me and I feel upbeat and optimistic. I just wish these episodes would last longer than they do atm.
At my recent appointment with my consultant I mentioned the above and she said that it indicated that my ovaries were still producing some oestrogen of their own, despite me being nearly 62 and post meno since age 55.
So far I have yet to find a successful strategy for dealing with these awful symptoms. I will keep trying though!
Wishing everyone well and sending hugs.
K.
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HI there, Agghhhhhh - anxiety - it is hellish. I did not suffer anxiety before and now have it really bad and it is a "fear" type feeling - I can feel it in my stomach and chest. It is also completely irrational and happens around 9ish in the morning and can last all day but rarely at night!!!! However, it is overwhelming and is actually stopping me from doing what I would normally love doing. I read a post on here that oestrogen does help so my Meno DR has upped me to another 1/2 pump of oestrogel. I totally sympathise - it is the worth symptom I have and is normally followed with depression. I am definitely coming back as a male!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would also say that I have tried every therapy going including hypnosis, CBT, breathing, diet and nothing moves it. M xxx
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I just don't know how on earth I'm expected to work while all this is going on. Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of a partner who can support me, I don't own a house and am currently paying a ridiculous amount of rent as both my daughters still live with me and have mental health problems of their own. I'm terrified that I won't be able to get back to work (have been off for 9 months now) and will end up having to jump through all the hoops to claim sickness benefit. Even if I do qualify it's nothing like enough to live on. How do others manage? Is everyone else on here who's had to give up work being supported by a partner?
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Hello. Me again.
Mustard1 - I could've written your post! I don't always wake up with the horrible feelings but they usually arrive during the morning. I also feel better at night. I've also tried deep breathing techniques, dietary changes and sampled hypnotherapy, all without success. I am currently increasing my Oestrogel but no joy as yet. I think some people are beginning to doubt me when I say that it's hormonal, even though I'm sure that it is. You say that you did not suffer anxiety before and certainly any anxiety I've experienced in the past has felt very different to this.
racjen - I'm so sorry that your financial situation is adding to your worries. I think women who need to work should qualify for sufficient and effective treatment as a right. The only reason I held off HRT for as long as I did was because my children had left home and I didn't need to work so I tried to tough it out. Hopefully any ladies in a similar position will be along soon to advise you.
Take care.
K.
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It was however, Dr Dalton of NAPS that recommended eating every 3 hours to stop that sudden feeling of hunger when hormones bounced up and/or down. That's every 3 hours, 24/7. Not when 1 thinks about it. Something to do with keeping sugar levels even, if they drop anxiety can hit. It took a while for me to get into the habit, now I try to eat B4 my body requires energy and have biscuits by the bed. So it can help with hormonally upheaval.
Recommended was: dry biscuits; slow release food stuffs at breakfast; sandwiches the idea being not to increase what one eats but to spread out food during 24 hours. I added dried fruits and nuts, bananas, full fat 'coke', toast and pancakes ready when necessary.
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So you're supposed to set your alarm clock to wake you every 3 hours during the night to eat? Sounds a bit counter-productive to me, if I manage to sleep for more than 3 hours on the trot I certainly don't want to have to be woken up to eat a banana. And before you ask, yes I have tried eating when I happen to be awake in the middle of the night and that doesn't work either. Sorry but I just don't think it's that simple.
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You're actually right, Racjen - unless you have a condition called reactive hypoglycemia which has been formally diagnosed, no one needs to eat in the middle of the night. In fact - I have been formally diagnosed with this by my endocrinologist and by working on my diet to modify my drops with my dietician, I definitely do not have to eat in the night. And spiking with anything sugary is a huge no no for me!
It's pretty unhealthy to eat at night, which is when the stomach is in It's 'rest and digest' phase. The feelings of 'low blood sugar' that women experience are probably more likely cortisol spikes or pulses of norepinephrine which can be felt more keenly in menopause due to the erratic ups and downs of hormones, or by women with PMDD who are unusually sensitive to the normal cyclical variation of hormones. Dr. Elizabeth Vliet writes extensively about this in her book, 'Screaming To Be Heard'.
If anyone is waking at 4am absolutely jumping out of their skin with their heart racing - then that's cortisol's favourite little party trick during perimenopause. Cortisol starts rising from 4am onward, and it doesn't place nicely during the transition - just as other hormones don't. If you then feed it a banana - which contains fructose or heaven forbid dried fruit or a glass of coke, you are adding fuel to the bonfire as sugar is the last thing you need to add to a nasty release of stress hormones.
This is such blinkin' hard work, isn't it?😮😮 xxxx
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I just wish they would find something that gets rid of it! Here I am again facing another day feeling awful, worrying if I'll manage to get through work, with no idea when the anxiety will lift. Thanks to everyone else who has shared on this thread. It really really helps to know I'm not alone x
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I have this to but im post meno :'(
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I am post meno too. It only started after my last period had stopped. I find myself looking at other women who look around my age, who look fine, (though I probably look fine too), wondering why I have to feel this way. Anyone else ever do that?
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Thanks, CLKD, always for your wonderful and caring tips. You are absolutely right that unless we eat and drink correctly and regularly, it can exacerbate already horrid symptoms. I will be sure to keep hydrated.
I've had a good and busy morning at home and the anxiety arrived like a bullet as I was peeling vegetables. No rhyme or reason, accompanied by feeling awful all over, red face, nausea. It's very odd and very disturbing.
Racjen - I'm sorry that your work and financial pressures add to your burdens at this time, and you also mentioned your daughters. For me, the reason why I'm positive this is hormonal is that I don't really have anything to be anxious about - yet, I'm ruining so much time with all this overthinking and worrying and “what if'sâ€. Racjen - you also ask about how other people cope with employment. I used to have a high profile public job which I could not be doing at the moment. So now I'm an employer working for myself and I'm very sympathetic to any personal health issues. But not everyone is and I realise that some people actually cannot work at all (when this hits me at work, I have to leave/go to my car/go home - none of which would have been possible in my prior role). I often wonder, yes, if other ladies feel this way. I've started looking at ladies my age and older than me very differently and with great admiration!
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Racjen I've been unable to work for a year now and will probably have to retire due to ill health at the age of 49
I don't have anyone support me so I have to survive on universal credit and I'm waiting for my PIP appeal. If I'd been born 100 years ago I would be in the poorhouse or the lunatic asylum !!
X
Flo
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I thought I had shifted the anxiety a I went to a concert on Saturday and out of the blue my heart started hammering like the clappers and I felt dizzy. I had to really focus and get a grip of myself as I couldn't leave. Went for some fresh air at half time and better. Had a rubbish sleep night last night and my heart seemed to be vibrating like a phone. Queue panic attack. Stupidly got out of bed and Googled it like an idiot so that was me shaking and in a state until 6:30am. I had an episode like this last year so my hubby is just worried his fruit cake wife is returning again. I tried to make a GP appointment but soonest is 3 weeks away or telephone appointment 8 days! In my agitated state I will be dead & buried by then! It's the up and down of this that kills me. One week I feel 'better' then boom it hits.
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Apart from waiting it out for the hormonal volatility to calm and stop triggering the stress hormones, the only thing you could take is a beta blocker which brings down actual adrenaline.
I used it a few times and it does work, the GP gave it to me as he said it doesn't work on the mind (like ADs for example) but on the physical heart and adrenaline over-reactions. It didn't feel drug like or hypnotic, all the surging just calms down, but it can lower blood pressure if take too much, although you can take a really tiny dose though and use as and when.
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Should not a betablocka be taken on a regular basis. I have used it since 2002. Every night. I find that the more important an event is for me the worse I am likely to be so no longer go to the theatre or other places I may feel shut in which means I haven't met with friends in the music industry for 15 years :'(.
I had it happen twice years ago, sat in the middle of a row :-\. The 1st time I somehow managed to control the feeling of throwing up; the next I had to leave as I knew exactly how much longer I had to sit watching 'the mikado'. :'(. For years I managed by sitting at the end of a row but eventually that no longer worked. I no longer look at what is on locally so that I don't mourn what I can no longer go to see.
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Anxiety has been terrible for the past month, l thought it was because I was going on a cruise for the first time and I hate flying. I never slept a wink the night we were leaving mainly because of my heart racing but bizarrely when we left for the airport the anxiety had disappeared. I had no problems with the flight even with an hour delay and I didn't have a single anxiety moment the whole holiday. I don't understand why it just left like that, I'm not a worrier at all but this anxiety has haunted me at different times during this nightmare. It's the one symptom I can't cope with. X
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Anticipation is often worse than the event. Bugga .............
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The beta blockers are taken regularly for those whose heart rates need to be brought down for super tachycardia etc.
My prescription is very low dose and says ‘as needed' as is for adrenal anxiety and minor tachycardia and they wear off with no issues after a single dose.
I am very sensitive to drugs so they must be mild at low dose!
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Do they work dangermouse?
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Yes they did for me, they take about an hour to kick in. Are you on a strong dose CLKD? I suspect they do weaken over time for long term users so may not affect you in that way.
Anxiety can be triggered by thoughts or hormonal volatility (and heart conditions), or a combination of the two.
The beta blocker is for the non-thought driven type but may have a knock on effect to calm the mind if the panicked thoughts are in response to the physical anxiety.
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I have found propranolol the only only GP prescribed drug which has helped my Peri anxiety symptoms.I just take 20mg as and when I need it now. Like someone said it just reduces the physical symptoms not the anxious thoughts but I find this alone puts me in a slightly calmer state. ( I have yet to try ADs though one of the Docs keeps pushing them on me).
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I was prescribed Propranol 80mg initially for 3 weeks, dropped to 40mg nightly which served me for over 10 years. I now take 20mg at night. Helps to stop the heart racing which lessens early morning anxiety surges.
They are no longer allowed to be used for sports men and women for that reason.
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I have started, in the past couple of months, having that constant feeling of dread and fear. I've been on AD for the past 16 yrs so I just presumed my mental health was taking a dip. But it is like no other I have had before. It's getting to the stage where I do not know what feelings are real or warranted. Mostly I haven't a clue what the fear is due to, I can just feel it in the pot of my stomach, a tightening in the throat and like a pulsating in head waiting to burst out. Other times it is to do with work and relationships but am wary to tackle the problem in case it isn't warranted!?? I've really started procrastinating and getting to work is becoming a real problem.
As the specialist at the meno clinic refuses to believe I'm actually in the peri, she also thinks that this (and all my other symptoms) are down to my mental health. :-[
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I just checked, my Beta Blocker is Propranolol 10mg. I remember cutting in half and having 5mg when first tried it as was worried about the lowered blood pressure (mine is already low) and it fortunately didn't affect it as such a low dose.
In terms of simple probability, if the anxiety comes on in your 40s, and is different to any past anxiety, then odds are that peri is the cause.
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It is so good to know I am not alone with this, but I was so hoping the HRT would help. I have just changed from Femoston 2/10 to oestrogel and utrogestan. I noted that I felt less anxious when I was taken the combined tablet (took it for 5 months), so am using the utrogestan everyday 25/28. Ironically, the week before I changed over following a private consultation with Dr Shaw in Cambridge, I had a really good week with very little morning anxiety, which meant I was also much happier and able to look forward to my day. I did wonder if I should change from the Femoston, but the week before I had been really bad and judging by comments on this thread there seems to be no pattern to this anxiety. Only on day 4 of new regime and have been waking early and anxious for the last 2 days, but mood has not dipped as low as before I started HRT. I just hope once I have got used to the new regime it will fade again. IT really is a horrible feeling and colours everything I do and makes me feel discontented with every aspect of my life and worried about upcoming events that I should be looking forward to. Sending hugs to all that suffer xxx
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TTilly - your specialist is not on a menopause page at all.
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Hi everyone
Thank you all for the comments in this topic.
I started to get unreal episodes of panic last year. I had to excuse myself while interviewing which was very embarrassing as I had an immense flush of panic. I went outside the door, took a few deep breaths and came back into the room and had to start the interview again.
At the end of the interview I apologized that I wasn't feeling well and that was why I had to leave the room.
I started taking propranolol 40mg and it worked great once a day and if needed I would take another 20mg a few hours later.
One lesson that I learned was don't take them at a high dose. Just take them when needed and at a low dose as I was advised during a really hard time in the summer to increase them four times a day and then I started to worry about my heart. They work better at a low dose in my opinion to just reduce the symptoms of racing heart.
The main symptom of menopause should be anxiety and not hot flushes in my eyes.
Hope this was of some help
Take care
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Totally agree - the anxiety is very very common and very debilitating. I suffer it and believe it to be the worst symptom - along side the depression when it rears it's head. The other symptoms I can manage. Mxx
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It's only since coming on this forum that I've realised just how common anxiety is as a symptom of menopause, and I've mentioned it to quite a few women of my age who it turns out are suffering from the same thing but had no idea it was anything to do with menopause. I think that's part of the problem here - nobody except us is making the connection so it continues to be a closely guarded and self-perpetuating secret. My anxiety is so bad right now that I've had to have the Mental Health Crisis Team back in, as I had got to the point of feeling I'd rather end it all than face another morning of unbearable fear. There does seem to be a general acknowledgment now that my mental state is primarily caused by the hormonal upheaval of chemotherapy, but it's taken quite a few visits from the Crisis Team, several psychiatrists and a change of GP to really get that taken seriously. I'm now waiting for a referral to the Community Mental Health team, and an appointment next week with a consultant gynaecologist. In the meantime it's a struggle to get through each day....big hugs to all of you who're going through this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy x
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Racjen - my heart goes out to you. Big hugs and hold on - you will get the right treatment soon. M xx
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Twice: I was so close .......... :'(
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Oh racjen I know how you feel, although I seem to be sorted now. That intense feeling of anxiety/fear is worse than pain. Hang in there and hopefully the right help will come along.
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Any improvement racjen? I found that relaxation therapy helped for a while, learning to breath properly can focus the brain as can singing.
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Thanks CLKD, I do all of that already. I need to find a hormonal solution to this, it's way beyond the relaxation/breathing stuff. The Crisis team have helped simply by giving me sleeping tablets so I'm not awake from 3am feeling terrified; now it's up to the gynae and the Community Mental health team to come up with something else.....
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Roseneath,
Hi, I'm the same, going out seems to help me too, or keeping busy like ALL the time.
Only thing is it's exhausting, but some days when I've got more time on my hands,
And the anxiety is high, the more I dwell on it, it's like it takes over, all over consuming.
I know some people have a fear of seeing people, like out and about, but that's not my anxiety.
Seeing people out and about don't really bother me, if anything, it helps because I think I've got
to keep it together because if ‘something happens ‘I don't want to feel like a right numpty. Lol
It's when I'm quiet, and not feeling good that it bothers me...
I won't go on antidepressants because a few years ago I had a couple of bad reactions to them,
so now I take an antihistamine when it's really bad, it does calm me down, and it does help,
I don't think I've got many other options since I refuse to go on antidepressants. And what's the worst that could happen? So for me, that's my coping strategy.
I'm hoping the meno clinic will sort me out when I go, I'm waiting for an appointment. But wheather it's hormonal or not, I'm hoping to sort my hrt out.
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...... and breath.
I find that keeping busy helps. When I feel ill in the morning I get on, chores, gardening, wandering round - planning next year's chores outside. If I sit I get shaky and worse. If that is possible :-\
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Hi aspie65, I think it was you who got on well with pregabalin wasn't it? Unfortunately for me it has ended up with my usual reaction to all mood-altering drugs, ie depression with suicidal ideation, resulting in the Crisis Team getting involved again. Took a lot longer with pregabalin, with ADs it usually only takes a week at most but I lasted a month on 100mg pregabalin before this hit. Gutting really as it had just started to help with the anxiety, but it does seem that I can't have one without the other - anything that lessens the anxiety comes with crippling depression. So it's back to the drawing board for me (and the prospect of returning to work is receding further and further into the distance....) :'(
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So glad i joined this forum, i dont feel as much alone with my suicidal thoughts, all my kids have grown up and left home, unemployed for over a year, no friends or family.
Just me and hubby.
Depression.
xx
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Racjen, so sorry to hear that. One last suggestion that is a bit of a long shot but I recently added clonidine to my every growing mix of meds. Primarily to help my hot flushes that just wouldn't go despite HRT. It worked really well for them and it helps me sleep and is known to help a bit with anxiety. So want to help you but that is all I've got at the moment. Hang in there, hugsxx
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Hi Aspie, do you know what kind of medication clonidine is? I'm absolutely terrified of trying anymore ADs or anything even remotely similar (pregabalin is, although technically not an AD, very similar in its chemistry apparently). They have such a bad effect on me....Crisis Team gave me Zopiclone as I'm not sleeping beyond the small hours and although they haven't made any difference to my sleep, bizarrely they have calmed the anxiety down a bit, not sure whether that's a normal reaction or not. Nothing seems to be normal about my reactions.
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Oh Ladies, that's exactly what it is. I get it every 2 months, which is probably when I ovulate. But it's that, it's that fear, like someone is going to wipe everything away from you. Now my hubby is 18 months out of having radiotherapy for tongue cancer. And it's like something in my head goes la la la la for 2 months, I'm happy, smiley, bubbly don't give a eff about anything, but then wham, panic, worry, fear of him dying and me being unable to cope. WTAF. We faced it together, we've had other s*it happen too but everything was fine up until last bloody week, then friggin ovulation occurs (as well as other bloody things) and this fear sets in. Right now I've got a fear of Chris Ingham - yeah, who, but I'm waking up in a hot sweat over the tw*t for no reason. I don't even know the bloke. Arrgghhhh, had enough. F**K OFF ANXIETY.
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Hello again ladies.
I've just posted a long rant because I know this is a safe place to reveal the madness of this journey.
Irrational fear is the pits but it's very real to us!
Take care ladies.
K.
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Racjen all I know is that it is medication used to lower blood pressure usually (although mine is normal to low) by constricting the blood vessels. Sorry I can't be more help.
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Racjen, Clonidine is also used as an alternative to HRT and helps with hot flushes. It helps to reduce the effect of adrenaline and was at one time popular for anxiety and for ADHD too. I hope this helps. xxxx
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Thanks Tempest and Aspie, I looked up clonidine and it comes plastered with warnings about causing depression in people who're already prone to it, so I don't think I'll be going anywhere near it. Shame though....the search continues x
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Hi Lollipop
Absolutely "get" where you are coming from and I hate that jittery, jingly jangly feeling when the Adrenalin kicks in. In a lot of ways, it's physcoschematic as the more you panic about your symptoms, the worse they get. Sometimes, my heart pounds so much I feel as if I am going to have a heart attack and it's the inbalance of hormones which are rearing their ugly head.
That feeling of dread, when you don't want to leave the house is absolutely horrible and then it all passes
Hope this makes sense.
Donna
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Hello Donna, thank you for your answer. I agree with you that when the anxiety kicks in you start to panic and then symptoms get worse. The anxiety feeling often leads to strange thoughts which makes me even more anxious. I was told that low estrogen is responsible for these thoughts. I have started with HRT (patches) . So far my head became much clearer hope the anxiety goes away too.
Lady lollipop
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donnarob. Just to say I totally empathise with your last post about the crippling effect of anxiety. About a week ago I had a night when my heart was going like the clappers, I was wired with the adrenaline, awful thoughts, muscle spasams on the verge of phoning NHS 111 in the wee hours. I have had a couple of similar nights in the last 2 years. All the advice of getting up, reading a book, not worrying etc just went out of the window. The next day I was exhausted. Queue emergency GP appointment thinking I had something awful, high BP, blood sugar, thyroid, Parkinsons etc and heart packing up. GP (once again) reassures me it is just anxiety by raised hormones (but at my request does some blood tests & ECG on the spot to make me feel better), everything s all fine. Again! A week later all of it has lifted. We have had family staying so I have had to get on with things, go out, cook dinners. I took sleeping tabs for a couple of nights and got an amazing 8 hours, I have been jogging. I am a totally different lucid person. I have had about 6 incidents like this over the past few years and the problem is I know when I get another one I will go round the same loop.
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Hello ladies.
I just wanted to add that my menopausal neighbour has had similar episodes but with depression and low mood rather than fear and adrenaline. When these episodes pass, as they always do, she says that she feels like a different person. All very frustrating and upsetting none the less.
Take care everyone.
K.
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These feelings are real. One could not imagine anything that would cause such sudden physicality.
I think our brains deal with trauma at the time which gets pushed to the side then rears it's Ugly Head when we are low. I know that stuff leaps out at me as I'm dropping off to sleep very often ........... :-\ things that I deal with during the day in a background kind of way. Then whoosh.
Even though I know the rationale behind the fight/flight response it doesn't stop my sudden panic attacks with the feelings they bring to me. I can do all the 'it is caused by ........... ' thinking but the physicality takes over. 4 me adrenaline feels like hot water pouring through my veins, the 1st time it scared the s..t out of me but I do recognise it these days.
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Yes I 100% recognise this awful feeling. I used to call it The Dreads. Just horrible. Horrible. Like clockwork, I also started walking at 4am feeling terrified for no reason. No racing pulse or sweats just an all encompassing sense of Doom and fear.
Only other time I had ever experienced something similar was when I had PND, and this revelation set me down the path of suspecting the culprit could be my hormones (and not that I had developed bi polar or was having a breakdown).
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Feeling this level of constant fear and dread is incredibly draining. Just like you *racjen* I ended up involved with the Crisis Team because I honestly began to feel that death would be better. They were lovely but absolutely helpless to help me because they knew zilch about hormonal mood swings and anxiety.
My story started in the Autumn of 2012, with intermittent and inexplicable dread + depression. Everything else in my life was good. It came and went over the next 2 years, it was a terrifying roller coaster and the dread would descend out of the blue, ruin my life for a week or two, then mysteriously just disappear in a matter of moments.
But in Feb. 2016 it didn't disappear and just stayed and stayed, and I thought I was losing my mind. Had to be signed off work for several months and my poor DH and Mum endlessly sitting with me in what was essentially a suicide watch. Over those horrific months it would very occasionally disappear for a couple of days at most.
This is NOT how 'normal' mental health issues work. In those rare days I didn't just feel better, I felt 100% back to normal and incredulous at how dreadful I had been feeling. This proved to me that it was something chemical buggering about in my head, switching back and forth at will and I was helpless to control it.
As others have said, diet, foods, breathing techniques, counselling, exercise, herbal remedies...NOTHING MADE A SINGLE BIT OF DIFFERENCE. NOTHING.
And, as others have so said the cruelty of this specialised hormonal anxiety is that it 100% tricks you into believing that it will never, ever end. So even when you experience the occasional good few days, the very moment the dread reappears you instantly forget how much better you had just been feeling and are 100% certain that you will never, ever feel anything but fear and dread for the rest of your life.
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Why a therapist suggested that I ought to recall the 'normal' feelings on days without anxiety I will never understand. 4 me it is physical. After all, if someone tells me that they have a cold I know how they feel but can't represent those feelings ........ does that make sense?
Where's Tempest :-\
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GypsyRoseLee YES YES YES, you've summed it up so well - it really is the most horrifying feeling, and yet as you say it can just melt away overnight leaving you feeling back to normal, and then cruelly without warning - it's back. I don't get those fluctuations from one day to the next because chemotherapy left me well and truly post-meno overnight, but I feel like a different person in the evening (ie normal) from the nervous terrified wreck I am in the morning. The Crisis Team have at least recognised that with me it's hormonal, and their psychiatrist recommended that I change GP to get a gynaecological referral, but even with that it's all guesswork how to proceed from here. I was a bit surprised that the 'expert' consultant i saw at Torbay hospital still didn't seem to ever have come across this kind of anxiety as a menopausal symptom before, but she did take it seriously and is trying to come up with possible solutions. In the meantime I just have to cope with the horrible symptoms. I'm was already on diazepam as nothing else works for me; have had to give in and increase to 8mg every morning which just about gets it under control, but I know that my tolerance will increase and I'll end up having to take more and more. Better that than taking an over dose though....To answer your question CLKD, I only take it in one dose first thing in the morning, because that's when it's really acute. By lunchtime it's pretty much gone so not much point spreading it out through the day or taking it the night before - diazepam doesn't hang around in your system for very long.
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*racjen* my dreads/anxiety could lift (or descend) in less time than it took to make a coffee. It was that sudden. No one understood, I think some thought I was exaggerating? I think (hope) that some day, not so far away, the medical profession will recognise what an enormous affect hormones have on so many women.
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Yes me too - 6.30am today I was fine, by 6.45 the dread was kicking in. Similarly it can just go in the time it takes me to load the dishwasher...What treatment did Prof. Studd put you on that made the difference? I know he advocates very high estrogen levels and as little progesterone as you can get away with, but I'm already doing that (estrogen level is now around 1000pmol, doing 100mg ustrogestan max 10 days a month). I get the impression from others on here that that's his standard treatment, but it ain't working for me, so although I sometimes think I should find the money to go and see him I'm not sure it'd be worth it.
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I recognise a lot of what is said here.
Bugga .........
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I am on 4 pumps of Oestrogel + blob of Testogel per day. Then take 100mg of Utrogestan for 7 days per month.
Bare in mind, it took months and months for it to fully kick in, and even then I would occasionally regress. Rather than it taking just a few weeks. I think by the time I found my way to Prof Studd I was at such a low ebb that it took a long whilel to 'cure' me. I know he doesn't really go by the exact levels of oestrogen in your blood because he says every woman needs a different level to feel good again. I know he has ladies whose pmol levels are well over 1000, and other ladies who are 'cured' by maintaining a pmol level of around 300.
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:thankyou: GRL!
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Trouble is, given that I've been on Evorel 100 for quite a few months now and have had a decent level of estrogen for quite a while (it went over 2000 pmol at one point earlier this year) plus I've been very sparing with the Utrogestan on the advice of Dr. Gray, I really suspect it's testosterone that's the problem for me. When my level was tested a year ago it was pretty much non-existent - unfortunately I can't tolerate it, have tried several times and it always gives me the familiar depressive reaction within a week. So not sure there's anywhere else to go...