Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: SueLW on August 01, 2018, 11:48:48 AM
-
Hello ladies
My menopause has been a long, hard 6 years so far. Three of them on HRT. Symptoms are many.
But my loss of self confidence has been terrible. I was chairwoman of a large theatre company, head of stage management and a regular actor. I haven't been inside a theatre now for 3 years, getting on for 4. I can't bear the way I look now. 4 years ago last May I was photographed nude for a calendar and I looked great! Now I see this fat, frumpy, white haired old woman in windows looking back at me and I want to cry.
Yesterday I had to take my laptop into the Apple store for repair. I felt so old in there. Then as I got back out of the lift in the car park I saw myself reflected in a window. A young man had shared the lift with me and followed me out (we were looking for a paying machine) and suddenly I felt old and vulnerable. That last word is crazy. I'm still nearly 6' tall. But I have diminished in every other way inside.
I've just switched to 1 pump Estrogel and Utrogestan vaginally every other night, a week and a half ago. My blood hormone levels were all very low. Womb lining was 2mm thick. Within the first hour of the first gel I painted my toe nails for the first time this year. But yesterday my mood crashed and I felt very low with added spotting and discomfort.
Has anyone found their confidence comes back with oestrogen? Given time?
-
I can really understand how you feel - the menopause can be devastating in many ways.
I personally do not feel that hrt is enough on its own to solve all menopausal problems or even restore ones self esteem, BUT, a bit of oestrogen can improve the way you feel generally and this in itself can help to you find a positive way forward. However, it can take time for oestrogen to work it's magic.
I have a theatre background and this high pressure, yet creative, world is all consuming - so difficult to find something to move on to that can give the same buzz.
I have to say that I had no end of trouble with Utrogestan, though it did make me feel quite high and detached from life - hopefully your new regime works ok for you.
I took a break from hrt in my early 50s (when all the scares came out in the press) and my confidence went through the floor. After three years, I went back on hrt( Mirena with Oestrogel) - I felt so much better and started giving dances classes and planning for the future better. I'm now 62 and two years without HRT so have adjusted my life to accommodate how I feel - I've basically become more selfish and pace everything in my life.
Good luck. DG x
-
I can really understand how you feel - the menopause can be devastating in many ways.
I personally do not feel that hrt is enough on its own to solve all menopausal problems or even restore ones self esteem, BUT, a bit of oestrogen can improve the way you feel generally and this in itself can help to you find a positive way forward. However, it can take time for oestrogen to work it's magic.
I have a theatre background and this high pressure, yet creative, world is all consuming - so difficult to find something to move on to that can give the same buzz.
I have to say that I had no end of trouble with Utrogestan, though it did make me feel quite high and detached from life - hopefully your new regime works ok for you.
I took a break from hrt in my early 50s (when all the scares came out in the press) and my confidence went through the floor. After three years, I went back on hrt( Mirena with Oestrogel) - I felt so much better and started giving dances classes and planning for the future better. I'm now 62 and two years without HRT so have adjusted my life to accommodate how I feel - I've basically become more selfish and pace everything in my life.
Good luck. DG x
It's good to know that your confidence fell when off oestrogen but improved when on it.
I miss theatre. I just don't have the energy for it or the confidence now. I have to say that being chairwoman of what is essentially a repertory theatre, head of stage management, running my own business and trying to negotiate a new purpose built theatre with the council who wanted the land our existing theatre stood on was all very stressful. I never let go. I was "up" and "on it" all the time. I don't miss that part. But I miss working on shows and the buzz of performances.
-
Sue - hopefully you will find a new avenue that will value your skills but in a less stressful way. I have been very fortunate as I've found a low key job that uses my skills and I feel appreciated. I have remained very open to doing almost anything, which has led to opportunities I never knew would come my way. Once you feel a bit better, get out for brisk walks, treat yourself to some new clothes and a good haircut and hopefully life will start to pick up and that self confidence will return. DG x
-
Of course you miss the buzz, that's what makes theatre so intriguing, both back stage and front of house.
However. I could never do what I did even 5 years ago due to a lack of energy. As for holding down the job I did when I was mid-30s! but I did have hobbies which filled any gaps. Eventually ::). I had to mourn a couple of jobs that I really really loved but which went tits up :'(. Then I got a dog and our lives changed ::)
Do you have skills that you could take into schools, youth groups, after school clubs, Libraries, Volunteer situations? Our Council has a Volunteer Berurua? [sp] Maybe to fill a gap go to a care home and talk about what you did, that could be good for the residents in bringing back their memories?
-
I lost all my self confidence too but testosterone has helped massively with that. I love myself and accept myself way more often now than before I added testosterone. It's not a complete cure but has really helped x
-
I'm the same as Annie HRT sorted out flushes and night sweats etc but Testosterone was the missing link.
I started with 1 pump of Estrogel and gradually increased to 3 pumps a day.Just as a caution you need to have high levels of oestrogen before you can add Testosterone but it is something you could consider when your levels are higher if you are still not feeling great.
Lanzalover x
-
I was in the same boat a year ago! I strongly believe that the way we perceive ourselves is the way the other see us! My early meno was a huge trauma to my self image but with time...and with hrt😂... it gets better. Life goes on and our mind and psychology plays an important role!
-
It's that old woman that glances in my direction from shop windows who I hate. I have to remind myself that although she is a shock 2 me, others have seen me evolve over the years!
-
Of course you miss the buzz, that's what makes theatre so intriguing, both back stage and front of house.
However. I could never do what I did even 5 years ago due to a lack of energy. As for holding down the job I did when I was mid-30s! but I did have hobbies which filled any gaps. Eventually ::). I had to mourn a couple of jobs that I really really loved but which went tits up :'(. Then I got a dog and our lives changed ::)
Do you have skills that you could take into schools, youth groups, after school clubs, Libraries, Volunteer situations? Our Council has a Volunteer Berurua? [sp] Maybe to fill a gap go to a care home and talk about what you did, that could be good for the residents in bringing back their memories?
I'm just 55, and this hit me at 49. I'm not prepared to accept that my energy has gone for good. I want to go back to theatre, performing and working there. I run my own business. I work full time. It's just hard because my body is tired all the time. There has to be a way back.
-
I lost all my self confidence too but testosterone has helped massively with that. I love myself and accept myself way more often now than before I added testosterone. It's not a complete cure but has really helped x
That's good to know Annie. I did have some testosterone in my previous hormone creams. But I'm not on it now. I will bear that in mind.
-
It's The Change. Does what it says on the tin! As we age we need to recognise that we can't take on everything as we did when younger. Are you able to cut back on your business in order to re-visit your other interests?
-
I'm the same as Annie HRT sorted out flushes and night sweats etc but Testosterone was the missing link.
I started with 1 pump of Estrogel and gradually increased to 3 pumps a day.Just as a caution you need to have high levels of oestrogen before you can add Testosterone but it is something you could consider when your levels are higher if you are still not feeling great.
Lanzalover x
I'm only one 1 pump at the moment. Not sure how long to leave it before I try increasing? I don't want to overdo it. Not really sure how I feel this week. Very up and down I think. For some reason my feet have started to swell badly. They were doing it a bit before I switched to Estrogel and Utrogestan. But it seems to have got worse.
-
Do see your Nurse about swelling, it's often due to water retention.
-
I was in the same boat a year ago! I strongly believe that the way we perceive ourselves is the way the other see us! My early meno was a huge trauma to my self image but with time...and with hrt😂... it gets better. Life goes on and our mind and psychology plays an important role!
My self confidence would come back if i could exercise again I think. Or even just get out for a good country walk. But I have so little energy I can't do that. I'm on thyroid meds now too. Yet I saw a FaceBook photo this morning from something I was doing 2 years ago. The photo made me realise how much less energy I have now than I did then.
-
It's The Change. Does what it says on the tin! As we age we need to recognise that we can't take on everything as we did when younger. Are you able to cut back on your business in order to re-visit your other interests?
I don't consider 55 old. My neighbour has just taken early retirement from her eminent career because of menopause symptoms. She was forgetting words in meetings and the stress was making her flushes worse. She's 57. But she's able to ride her horse every day, hasn't got a grey hair on her head and looks good. There is something wrong in me that needs to be corrected. I'm hoping now I've changed to a different HRT I might reap some benefits soon. Loss of energy has been an enormous issue for me, coupled with anxiety these have been my worst symptoms.
No, I can't cut back on my business. It's already suffering from my lack of energy and the Brexit uncertainty. Another chunk of stress for me to deal with. I import from the US and export to the EU as well as sell in the UK. It's a nightmare of worry.
-
Do see your Nurse about swelling, it's often due to water retention.
It's definitely water retention. Not sure if it's from the HRT (or lack of enough of it) or from my thyroid dose. I have a private hormone doctor and a GP. Neither of them are even remotely bothered about my fluid retention. I've seen both of them in the past 2 weeks and both of them have ignored me when I bought it up but I persisted with my GP until she arranged a urine test to see if my kidneys are OK. The heat isn't helping.
-
Sue, my daily exercise is a lifesaver for me, I am a cross fit athlete and my training is too important.
Try to do your best!
Are you sure that your low energy is due to meno? Maybe you are just depressed?
I am single, 42 and feel that my energy depends on how I feel! When I was obsessed with my early meno, I was thinking to give up my career and had really low mood and no motivation.
Now I feel better and try not to think so much about.
-
What ever age if we feel old I think we begin to look it!
VitD can cause low energy levels I may have said already .....12 months ago I felt ill but after a blood test confirmed my thoughts and a course of capsules, I felt a lot better.
Water retention can be serious ......... could you ask a practice nurse or Pharmacist for advice? Does elevating the lower body help ?
-
What ever age if we feel old I think we begin to look it!
VitD can cause low energy levels I may have said already .....12 months ago I felt ill but after a blood test confirmed my thoughts and a course of capsules, I felt a lot better.
Water retention can be serious ......... could you ask a practice nurse or Pharmacist for advice? Does elevating the lower body help ?
My Vit D is good and i supplement anyway. My ferritin is a bit on the low side, but I'm supplementing and eating for that.
My water retention goes down overnight. Elevation in the day isn't possible, but I tend to put my feet up on the sofa in the evening. I'm surprised both doctors took so little notice of it to be honest. The urine test is checking for protein.
-
Sue, my daily exercise is a lifesaver for me, I am a cross fit athlete and my training is too important.
Try to do your best!
Are you sure that your low energy is due to meno? Maybe you are just depressed?
I am single, 42 and feel that my energy depends on how I feel! When I was obsessed with my early meno, I was thinking to give up my career and had really low mood and no motivation.
Now I feel better and try not to think so much about.
It could be that I need more thyroid meds. I don't think I'm depressed. I am today! But I probably won't be later or tomorrow. That's not depression. I sink into black holes, often driven by my lack of physical energy. Nobody gets this energy loss. It's not normal. Before this happened I was fit and active. I was a hoop dancer. I hooped every day. Rode my bike or walked all the time. Worked full time, was restoring my cottage using traditional building materials and methods, did my housework and big garden. I never sat down. Then one day as I was walking back to the car from a concert my legs just suddenly drained of energy and felt like lead. Getting back to the car was exhausting. At first it would only happen now and then. But now it's more or less a constant. It's not something I can push through. It's always my legs. The thighs feel weak and leaden. I've just been over the yard to pick up some stock that was left at the wrong unit for me. It's hot out there, but I set off at normal pace, then on the way back my legs were dragging and I had to slow down.
I have been referred to an endocrinologist but the appointment isn't until the end of October. This is because I failed a short synathen test 2 years ago but the result was ignored. I found it recently and pushed for a repeat but my GP won't repeat it! Hence the referral. So I could have an adrenal problem going on as well.
-
You could. But it could be hormonal. I remember crashing fatigue really well. That sudden feeling of weakness particularly in the thighs. Usually B4 a bleed. I remember Mum sitting down suddenly and going to sleep instantly ........
It is 'normal' in that it may be hormonal. It is unusual for you so of course you need to know the causation. Anemia? Lack of VitD? Low blood sugar, how's your diet over-all?
As we age we simply cannot achieve as we did in our 20s, 30s, 40s .......... and people are considered 'old' past 60 :o. Maybe my grandparents were but I don't think that is true these days!!
-
I feel for you Sue, you have the thyroid meds AND hrt to balance, that's tricky
Have you had you B12 tested ?
X
-
I feel for you Sue, you have the thyroid meds AND hrt to balance, that's tricky
Have you had you B12 tested ?
X
Yes, I did a private active B12 test and my levels were good. I have since started to supplement to make sure they stay that way.
It is very hard trying to do both at once. The symptoms overlap. I suspect if I had been given better thyroid diagnosis and treatment a few years ago my menopause might not have been so bad.
-
Sue, I'm sure you've thought of this but could it be low blood sugar? I would be out walking the dog mid afternoon and suddenly my legs would feel wobbly, I'd feel shaky and sick and as if I was going to faint. I made sure I had biscuits or a snack with me at all times. I also had panic attacks which made me feel very shaky too. I'd also get the mood dips, one minute ok, the next really low as if someone had flicked a switch
It's so complex and so frustrating!
Good idea to mention. But it isn't that. I know what that feels like. This is different. And eating doesn't help either. Thank you though.
-
Hello SueLW.
You say that you have just switched to Utrogestan vaginally every other night, were you taking it continuously before then or have you just started this regime? I ask because feeling tired, weight changes and swollen ankles are listed as some of the side effects although the patient leaflet doesn't specify if these reactions are more likely with intermittent or continues use.
I completely understand your frustration. I have been fiddling with HRT for five years now and although things are better I feel far from normal. I especially hate it when I'm invited to events that I would have enjoyed previously because now all I can think about is how I will cope if I'm feeling awful on the day, or even just part of the day! It is this uncertainty and instability that has pretty much destroyed my confidence.
Wishing you well.
K.
-
Sue - I found Utrogestan very sedating and I couldn't use it vaginally because it aggravated my atrophy. The best HRT combo I had was the Mirena with Oestrogel. I had a premature meno so I've tried just about everything there is. We are all different though and what suits one lady won't suit another.
When menopause hits, it's really not just about the hormones dropping as it often coincides with all sorts of other health issues as well. It's called ‘ The Change' for good reason because so much DOES CHANGE. I would liken it too bereavement for many of us and we have to go through various stages before there is a kind of acceptance that life will not be as it once was and we have to find a new way of living life that we can be at peace with. HRT can help this transition and buffer many of the evil effects but treatment is still far from ideal.
There are some lucky women who do ‘ride the change well' and they seem to suffer less - these small band of women behave with such distain towards those of us who struggle and this makes things even worse. I do think it is largely down to genetics, so it is a lottery as to how bad it will be and how well we cope. For many, it is the devastating effect it has on our mental state that is so hard to cope with and until the medical profession wakes up and starts treating us holistically, and not just for the menopause but for so many age related issues, there is going to be a big price to pay.
We keep saying how wonderful it would be if there were good Wellwomen clinics around the country that would help us through all the various stages in a women's life. No post code lottery for treatment and properly trained professions that keep up to date so we could trust them. We dream ::). DG x
-
Properly trained professionals would certainly be a start! Allowing GPs more time might help too. I remember when we sat in the Waiting Room for ages and were seen in order, those in the village still talk about That Clock ;D
I found one way around events or being asked to do something for someone was to tell them that I needed to check my diary and that anyway, I would need back-up in case a, b, c happened.