Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Miabella on July 17, 2018, 06:17:08 AM
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Really struggling with anxiety and on holiday which is making it harder. Usually feel better in the evenings. Doctor gave me emergency Diazepam but feel they should be an absolute last resort. Hoping to start on HRT when I get home but meanwhile need to get through the next week. Any coping strategies you use that help?
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Hi I'm not sure I can help, but what are you anxious about? Can you try rational thought (CBT techniques ) to calm your thoughts?
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Anxious about being anxious mostly! I don't have anything to be anxious about except how to cope when I feel like this. Really hard to explain. Sounds so stupid but is very real when you're experiencing it though. And the things that do make me anxious right now won't bother me at all if I start to feel better. I just don't seem very good at coping with bad parts of the day
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https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,8454.0.html
Have you tried this 3,2,1 exercise for anxiety? X
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Yes I have. Thanks for reminding me of it. Will give it a go now
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I was like you before trying hrt again and I just kept saying to myself it's my homornes causing this the Adrenalin was the worst. Also always do headspace and calm everyday it does help. Still get it but no way as bad since hrt. Hope it helps.
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Hello,
478 breathing helped me when I was anxious as it activates the para-sympathetic nervous system (rest and digest system). Also there was a YouTube video I did. It's called something like cardio for anxiety and the lady is lovely!
Hope theses things helps. Anxiety is really horrible xxxxx
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Take the Valium :-\ - that's what it is for! Why suffer particularly when away from home? How much as the GP given you, 2mg, 5mg or 10mg. You won't become addicted! What *would* be a 'last resort' :-\.
If you are hungry, do you not eat? Listen to your body?
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I did cave in and took the Diazepam (2mg) and it has definitely taken the edge off the anxiety. I will also google the other suggestions - haven't heard of 478 and a lovely lady sounds well....lovely.
Thanks everyone xx
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Well done! It's what it is for. To ease anxiety. I used it as necessary for years ........ the night B4 an event that I couldn't get out of to stop those early morning anxiety surges knowing that I could take another at breakfast if necessary but I rarely required it. It made me dopy but it got me through!
How's the weather today?
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DonnaPaul,
Which Headspace session do you do? A free one or have you bought it?
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Hi CLKD,
I guess I just have to see it as a crutch to get me over a bad spell.
It's hot - too hot for me which is another problem. I normally can cope with warm weather but hate it this year. It rained a bit yesterday and I didn't mind! If you knew me you'd know I can't be myself if I'm welcoming rain. Also usually quite like getting a bit of a tan but there'll be none of that this year.
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There's always another year to top up the tan ;-). Rain is cooling. I use up energy in this heat although there's a cold draught through the windows today :-\, so need to eat more often otherwise I get nausea = anxiety. Deep breathing might help?
It's a necessity for now. If you have a headache ......... ? All the relaxant medication that I've used over the years have eased symptoms for several days at a time and because I know that they work, I don't need to take more and more. I have found in the last 5 years to take the emergency pill immediately!
........ and breath. Have you to go out and about today or can you enjoy the view?
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Hi I just do the free basic ones 10mins. It's stops your mind racing and helps lower cortisol which I believe raises in menopause.
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CLKD,
Have to go to the swimming pool with my daughter. But that's a fairly long walk in the heat there and back so not looking forward to it. Again wouldn't be a problem if felt ok. Just have to hope I feel better sooner rather than later.
Sorry, just feel like every post is another moan. I'm not usually like this, honestly
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Donna Paul,
Have done all the free ones but will go back over them agai
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Do you have a brolley? I carry one all year round, useful in hot sunshine. Keeping hydrated too. Will you swim?
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Just wanted to post that yesterday, which started off so awful I finally resorted to taking a Diazopam, ended up with me feeling pretty much ‘myself' by evening. And that meant I actually got about 7 hours sleep too.
So if you are reading this and feeling bad, hang on in there because a better day may be just about to happen. I am not great at reminding myself of this. I think I need to start and keep a diary to look back through
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Hi Miabella
3 things that helped me cope with my menopause induced anxiety while I was waiting to start HRT, and which you could try on holiday were :
1) Going through a list of the important areas of my life in my head reassuring myself there was not, in reality, anything to feel anxious about (eg "Daughter is well and happy " / " Work's fine" / "Money's OK " / OH has a date for his op" etc etc. Doing this reassured me that there was no real basis for feeling anxious
2) Not drinking any alcohol at all. It always, always made the anxiety worse so I knocked it on the head completely
3) Going for a walk on my own for an hour first thing in the morning when it was cool and quiet. I walked at a good pace, 30 minutes from the house then 30 minutes back and always felt better for it. Making myself do it the first day was hard. In the end I loved it.
Xx
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Hi Tiddles,
Thanks for your suggestions. I don't drink and have started an early morning walk these last 2 days. It's the nicest time of day here and is a good way to pass some time if I have been awake from very early. I will try your first suggestion - have been wondering if I should actually write down the list so I can read them.
Anything is worth a try, so thanks again
X
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Even now if I have a bad few weeks I put 1-5 on the calendar, if anxiety gets to 5 I have to take the emergency pill. 1 is background .........
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My husband will ask where I am on a scale of 1-10, but I think I may start to use 1-5 instead. Right now I'd be a 3......
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Hi Miabella
Really sympathize with you. It's horrible when you are away too. I find muscle relaxation helps me which I found on YouTube & something else that really helps is valerian which is a natural remedy. You can get it in the supplement section of most supermarkets. I live in Spain & get mine there. It works on your GABA levels in the brain which control anxiety in exactly the same was as diazepam does. I find it so good when I am traveling. Xx
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Like when I have pain anywhere, what makes it worse is not knowing how long it might last :'(
Any improvement Miabella? and how's the view this morning?
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Thanks paisley,
I am Italy at the moment. Will have a look for valerian here, if not will try when I get back home.
X
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CLKD
The past few days have been manageable- wake up with the dreads but they have been going by early afternoon. Even when I do feel ok though, the thought that it can come back at any time hangs over me. I am trying to congratulate myself that I am getting through each day though, and that at least sometimes I do feel like I am on holiday.
Forecast for our last few days says it will be a little cooler which is much welcomed. Just about to go for my early morning walk.
Thanks for keeping in touch x
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Hey Miabella, I get that morning thing too, waking up with a dark cloud over my head. I wondered if I was alone like that, seems like that's not the case, so I can sympathise, it isn't a nice way to get up.
Hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your holiday. x
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I used to always get anxious going on holiday as I was travelling alone with 3 children abroad so always took diazepam. I rarely actually had to take it but just knowing I had it was like a comfort blanket. Also getting too much sun on your head can make you feel weird, wear a hat and drink more water. Think to yourself, what's the worst can happen, is it really going to happen? No.
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Reading this post reinforces to me that a good nights sleep is so important during bad phases. Without that the ' next day' always seems a struggle for me and I worry during the day that I ' must' get a good night the next night. Does anyone have any tips on this? I have read a few insomnia books which didn't really help and try to do all the usual brain calming techniques. The only thing that has really switched off the circular night 'churn' is diazapam (I have only taken it three times in as many years when I felt at the end of my tether) which made me feel light and happy for a few hours.
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Many years ago I was in a very busy job. Looking back, in those 8 years I didn't sleep properly, ever. However, after months of not getting to sleep and worrying that I wouldn't be able to cope the next day: I usually did : I thought "Not sleeping hasn't killed me yet" and dropped off ::). It sounds simplistic but it worked for a while. Now when I get a bad night: I can drop off OK then wake after an hour or not go off to sleep until around 3.30 a.m.; I read, listen to music, make a cuppa, wash up ..........
My body has used up energy this week in the heat so I've felt queasy for a couple of days. I'm trying to munch. Regularly. :-\
Cuppa to hand!
Miabella - that 'will it come back' is common. Of course it will. We know that. Bugga .......... I try now to enjoy being in the moment, sometimes I stand; listening to the birds, looking at the view, enjoying my relaxed body at that moment. Bliss ;-)
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Mia Bella it's like I'm reading posts that I could have written.I have been suffering severely with anxiety since 2016.
I woke up one morning feeling like I couldn't live anymore. I have been battling ever since.
I have no reason to be this way I am now in a rut that I'm anxious about being anxious. I've had lots of therapy and really work hard to function.
I get so worked up about going on holiday to the point of a full panic attack of vomiting.
I just want to live with being conscious of living don't know if I'm making sense.
I feel like my body is out of balance.
Sorry if I've waffled on
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You waffle. I may have asked but do you take anything to counteract the anxiety? I have found Rescue Remedy helpful. But without the emergency emergency med. I wouldn't be here. Why suffer :-\. There is medication out there designed to ease symptoms and because I know it helps me immediately, I never worry about becoming addicted. After all, the other option cuts out my better days ;-).
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I'm on Mirtazapine 15mg and Propanol 40mg 3 times a day.Im still struggling.
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Are you worse at any particular time of day? Early mornings until mid-afternoon are my worst. [should that be worse for me :-\ ]
I take my heaviest load of meds at night to try to avoid that surge first thing.
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Wake up anxious and can feel groggy headed until lunchtime.
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Hi Burchers. Really associate with your posts. My 'theory' is that we all have a baseline anxiety (I have always been a 'people pleaser', too thin skinned) but we hit an age when it just ramps up and your cortisone/adrenaline kick in all the time with huge peaks sometimes fuelled by stress. I find that yes the 'gentle' therapies work...when I feel OK...but when not I am not in a state to do anything but panic and head spin. I am baffled / furious that in an age when we can send people to space our GPs seem clueless as to why so many of us suffer the same symptoms (specifically on the anxiety side). Surely you could take 1,000 women, track their symptoms, take regular bloods , track those on HRT , those on ADs or nothing. See how the moods and cycles compare. Or look at Japan where far fewer women are effected vs US/UK and very few take HRT. How many of us are taking things that have no effect, make things worse or not taking things that could help. I have seen 6 GPs and had 6 different views and prescriptions. How many marriages go under , jobs are lost or lives taken because the medical profession has no coherent approach to this. Sorry to rant but I have felt so terrible the last few days I would have downed any pill a GP would have thrust at me but now just riding it out and sleeping well I feel 100% better. :cuss:
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I agree my doctors answer is to increase my AD medication ( which I really don't want to do).It already makes me feel spaced on the minimum dose.I go on holiday on Friday and it's a trigger. Just so fed up of feeling like this.
I'm on strong medication for my colitis to.
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I totally understand. Had an awful day today & went out for a family meal which should normally be a happy occasion but for me it was just fueled with anxiety & dread. It got to a point today when I just said to myself I just have to accept it & make the most of the day & it did ease a bit but it is hard.
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Totally agree Burchers. I was put on Proprananol 40mg twice a day when I had a bad patch of insomnia fuelled by anxiety. Told to stay on it for 2 months then phoned to check then 2 months more. Then I saw a younger doctor to get my BP checked after that and he was horrified that I had been taking it every day for so long. Said it was for specific panic attacks or post a distressing period e.g. bereavement not to be taken every day for months. Said it would not do anything for the mental side of anxiety (just slows heart rate). So you really never know where you are which is worrying in itself! I do find it slightly takes the ' edge' off anxiety but think it might well be a placebo effect. Have just ordered some Vitamin D after reading posts on it here - anything worth a try hey.
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I'm already on Vit D,Zinc, Vit C and Vit B12.
I'm on biological treatment called Humira for my colitis. I have to inject myself every 2 weeks. That makes me feel dreadful for a couple of days. I've been on the Propanol for over a year could be coming upto 2 yrs.
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Just reading the latest posts on this thread and I too could have writtten all of them. I am on my last day of a 2 week holiday which I didn't think I would get through, but I have. I think I said before that when my anxiety is bad life feels like an endurance test, and there have certainly been times in the last 2 weeks like that. This forum has been such a great support in getting me through the bad days. It's so comforting to know I'm not the only one who feels this way - only if you have experienced anxiety can you know how truly awful it is.
Thank you all for being here x
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Mirabella / Birchers - fellow anxiety suffers! Just something I found in the last few days that has (maybe) helped (a little). A friend suggested CBT for anxiety which works in a different way to breathing/Mindfulness - more distraction and mentally 'removing' the worry. I found the NHS offers a free online CBT course called ' Beating the Blues' which your GP can sign you up for. Phoned yesterday and the GP was very positive about it, said it has a 80% success rate (but it takes two weeks for me to be ' enrolled in it for some reason - bit like queuing for a new phone line to be connected!!). So yesterday I found a free CBT App called ' 'Pacifica' - set up by a guy who has Anxiety issues - you do a 7 minute free visualisation per day. I found them both excellent. The Day 2 one gets you to visualise (make into real thing) your anxiety (for me it was fear of not sleeping at the moment!) and then you hold it, look at it, sit with it and then realise it is just a small part of your existence/life. Anyway vs the Mindfullness I found it very different and good for my way of thinking. My fear of sleep is now an angry little slime blob which is mentally on me bedside table but is not with me the whole time! Every little helps eh. Taking a motor boat out on a loch with family today...will be great or terrible but I will try to keep my anxiety blob firmly back at home. Hugs to you all.
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Hi Roseneath
I found that very interesting. My husband has been telling me for a while to try CBT. He hasn't used it before but seen lots of people online who have had very good success with it for anxiety. I am going to give it a go & thanks for the link
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Hi Roseneath,
Definitely sounds worth a look! I will check it out too and report back. Thanks so much for sharing xx
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Roseneath - your GP was very, very wrong :cuss: - I have taken Propranolol for years to ease early morning anxiety surges: 80mg x 3 for 3 weeks then 40mg x 2 for several years. Then I cut it down to 20mg x 2 due to background headaches. It works for me. The one thing he/she told you that is correct is that it slows the heart rate which eases those surges.
I'm glad that visualisation works for you. Hasn't for me but my anxiety began within hours of my being born :'( and my first panic attack was at age 3.
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Well here I am at 4.30 am after hardly sleeping all night because of anxiety. I have a really queasy stomach and have been having problems ever since this heat wave started. So that just ramps up the anxiety. I haven't had it this bad for nearly a year but we had some shocking news a few days ago. The son of a friend killed himselflast week, and this has devastated me. I hadn't really had anxiety since before last period but this has really brought it on again. I am also about ten days away from next period so I guess this also has something to do with my anxiety. I don't really take anything for it apart from a multi vit, and rescue remedy, but maybe I should think about more help. I am notoriously bad at wanting to take any type of drug. Even paracetamol. But this is all too much.
Sorry for another moan, but talking about this on here really does help x
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Good morning Toddle Pips
So sorry to hear about your friends son it's not the news anyone would ever want to receive and I cann't even begin to understand the sadness and shock you are all very obviously feeling.
Have you tried HRT ? I'm sure it will help.
Take care
Lanzalover x
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Hi, no I haven't tried HRT. A bit scared to really. But I don't think I can keep going on like this most days of the month so maybe it is something I should look into more. X
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So so sorry to hear that Toodlepips.
My anxiety, which has been going on since last autumn, seemed to be triggered by my being very very worried about a family member. I just assumed that it would go when things settled down, but they have and the anxiety is with me more than ever. I only started to think that menopause might also be a factor a couple of months ago. I think the reality is that in menopause we are more susceptible to anxiety and if something happens in our lives to exacerbate it then we can go downhill very quickly.
I am now almost sure I want to HRT - anything is better than this.
Take care and keep posting. I agree it is somehow very therapeutic to ‘talk' on here
X
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Hi Jeanie, I have have just turned 54, and still have regular periods. In fact I have always had heavy irregular periods but the last couple of years they have become more regular, and slightly lighter but still with a heavy day. It drives me nuts that I still have them at my age. I started having a hot flush around bedtime about three years ago, and have night sweats but not every night. The bedtime hot flushes are no longer every night. The anxiety and nervousness started gradually around 18 months ago, but has got worse, and now I have it for ten days or so before periods and a few days after. Where I could once cope with absolutely anything the world threw at me I now can't. I mostly want to lock myself away at home. I do get the odd signs of the old me now and again though.
I have gone through some horrid things in my life, my baby was born prematurely and died at nine hours old, his father was violent towards me, my mum had dementia , and I have always coped with everything. Although it took its toll of course, but I did get through these things. But as I said, these days I can't handle anything. Thankfully I have a very supportive and understanding husband.
I agree Miabella, it is harder to cope. I just don't knew w about HRT. It looks as though so many women have so much trouble trying to get the right one and then all symptoms don't go. Plus there is the health side of things. My dad had a DVT when he was my age, and so I am very wary of HRT. And don't the symptoms come back when you have to stop taking it when you are older?
Anyhow, I took some Kalm tablets and have managed to sleep a little so that is good news, plus they calmed my stomach down. X
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Toodlepips - this happened to me 15 months ago. A friend 2 years younger than myself ......... it took me off my feet completely! It is no one's fault, it would be aggarant for any of use to really believe that we know another person completely. Why would/should we? :hug:
Anxiety feeds on itself. Many years ago a therapist told me that a panic attack can't last more than 15 mins., I could have hit her. My longest pain attack was 3 days/2 nights and I shook, badly. I walked out of that session, never went back.
This heat burns off energy that I don't have so I should eat more often than I do ....... lack of food causes nausea = anxiety.
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So sorry to hear that x life is so cruel at times.
Yes I suspect it is lack of food due to the heat, I had this last summer too. The trouble is I don't want to eat due to feeling queasy. It's a vicious circle. I just forced a bowl of porridge down. Hopefully it will help x
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Slow release food stuff is good. I have emergency rations: dried fruits and nuts, bananas, pancake mix - can be kept in the fridge to be cooked immediately; ice-lollies to keep hydrated. Anthying so that my brain doesn't consider it as food :-\
Sorry about your baby - did you quit the violent relationship?
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Yes, I managed to pluck up the courage to get out of that relationship after five years. You can imagine my fragile state of mind though. But I met my now husband a year later and we have been together for 21years now x
I have to watch what I eat as have a bit of IBS is going on. Bananas are fine, ice lollies not so much lol x
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By evening I'm a different person. I have learnt. not to say 'yes' to anything in the evening. By morning the anxiety would be sky high!!
Even knowing that it eases during the day when I am really floored by it, the physicality etc. doesn't stop! and my brain can't turn that around into 'this too will pass' :'(
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Thank you for your kind words and advice Jeanie. Yes it is something to ponder on more for sure x
I am like you CLKD, right now the anxiety is wearing off, the stomach is calming down but I know it will all be back in the morning. It really is hard to get our heads around the fact that this will pass and it's all hormonal. I do try and think like that a lot. I tell myself off lol. Sometimes it disappears quickly, sometimes it doesn't x
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Now is the time to eat!!!! then you can stop worrying about not eating in the morning.
Dextrose tablets; pancakes; dry or ginger buicuits; etc., etc., like a stuck record, me ::). Himself often shouts across the room when I'm advising on the 'phone line, 'take your own advice?' :-X
I often have toast or cream crackers in bed .... then moan about the crumbs :D
Miabella - how much longer are you in Italy for? How is this morning thus far? xx
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CLDK. Just wanted to say I totally agree with you Re the Proprananol being fine to take daily. It certainly has a positive physical effect on calming down my pulse etc. I just find it un-nerving when you get different GPs at the same practice telling you different things. The one I want to see has a 4 week waiting list now; crazy! My daughter was telling me she read online that Wifi effects your mood and sleep patterns if the router is near your bedroom. She says it is the next smoking gun like cigarettes were in the 1950s. Another thing to worry about now! I do feel better outside on sunny days though. Stuck indoors on dull days with your worries is not healthy.
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We are designed to eat meat with veg. and fruit: look at the gob formation ;-). We are designed to get up at dawn and go to bed at dusk. But we live in a 24/hour society which really can't help. Shift workers who do a lot of nights have problems with hormones, may become sleep deprived and lack VitD. We don't live naturally any more and evolution hasn't caught up yet ::)
A little of what we fancy - Granny was right ;-). Listen to your body. At this age, learn to say 'no' more often, it really does become easier ;).
I'm verging on anxiety due to my body being hungry. Nothing tastes 'right' so I don't fancy anything ........