Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Kathleen on June 21, 2018, 12:41:26 PM
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Hello ladies.
I've been wanting to post on this topic for a long time but held back out of embarrassment. When I finally plucked up the courage to mention it to a friend she said she didn't really understand what I meant so I'm hoping that you lovely ladies can reassure me that I'm not going mad, at least I hope I'm not!
When my anxiety is high and I'm feeling tense I develop weird fears about things. These feelings come in surges and I suddenly become afraid of what's infront of me. For example I bought some purple sweet potatoes and when I saw them in the cupboard I suddenly felt panicky and now I don't want to cook them. It's as if my logical mind has registered that I'm starting to panic and is trying to help me by suggesting the item infront of me is the culprit and I should avoid it as it's clearly dangerous. I realise that this is not rational behavior and it doesn't persist so I will cook the potatoes lol. I think that the surges of panic are the real problem and these surges also include a flush, mood change and then a feeling that I want to cry. I never experienced anything like this until my periods ended and although the panics feel hormonal in original they are still panics which are very distressing.
Can any of you wonderful ladies relate at all? I'm sure I've read of similar problems like being afraid to go into certain shops and even being scared of a washing machine. I would really like to know how to deal with these horrible surges to prevent them escalating into a full blown panic attack.
Thanks for letting me confide in you ladies and I look forward to reading any comments.
Wishing you all well.
K.
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In a word, yes.
This is actually a sign of a mind that has been stressed for far too long. Whilst some of it can be menopausal, please know that adrenaline surges and hot flushes, fears and unwelcome thoughts CAN be caused as well by anxiety. If you check out all the anxiety forums it's a common occurence, even happening out of the blue - particularly in panic disorder.
I knew I was onto something here when I read a post by a 19 year old boy who was having these EXACT symptoms too - and of course he's definitely not menopausal!
There is so much stress that goes into the whole menopausal thing that we have to ask ourselves frankly if indeed some of these symptoms ARE stress, and if there are other ways to deal with them as HRT may not help with these.
I can sympathise totally, Kathleen - as one who has quite a hefty stress burden with other health issues too that can often knock me over the edge. xxxx
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It is your tired anxious mind playing tricks on you.
Do you do any type of meditation or relaxation techniques to try & calm the brain.
I find valerian helps sometimes as well to turn of the unwelcome thoughts
A really good book to read on this is “Self help for your nerves†by Claire Weekes. She explains this so well
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Hello Tempest.
Thank you so much for your kind response.
I agree that stress is a contributing factor and of course it can have many origins. A male friend of mine had a mini breakdown when his business was in trouble and our GP told him that he had struggled with too much for too long. Co incidentally I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease the very same month I had what turned out to be my last period and my meno symptoms ramped up, so there was suddenly a lot to deal with.
I think adequate and restorative sleep is also essential and of course night sweats etc impact on that. The Consultant I saw on Tuesday said that when her patients sleep better their other meno symptoms often resolve.
I will research panic disorder and see what I can find out so thank you for giving me the heads up.
I think you said that you have MS? If so I suggest you Google Dr John McDougall who has had
patients go into complete remission by adhering to a starch heavy plant based diet. My own Ulcerative Colitis has been in remission for four years and all test results are normal and I believe my plant based, anti inflammatory diet has contributed to this.
Thanks again Tempest for your time and interest and I wish you well.
K.
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Hello paisley.
Thank you so much for your response.
I've heard other MM ladies say that the Claire Weekes book helped them so I'm going to get a copy asap.
Many thanks for that helpful suggestion and take care.
K.
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Oh bless you Kathleen for the tips regarding my MS! I know when I was formally diagnosed that that was in part a relief, but also when I started to experience panic symptoms (a lot like some of the symptoms you have)!
It's a leap into the unknown, isn't it? I'll tell you what tipped me. It was the thoughts - both of my surgical meno. and the MS - that this is going to be like this forever. The feelings of despair and hopelessness then descended into blind fear. :-\
I've had to talk myself down more times than I can count - and I'm pretty sure I've had a few irrational 'sweet potato' moments myself over the last few months, too. :)
Thank you so much again for your kindness - if it helps, I like a forum over at Health Unlocked called Anxiety Support. A really nice bunch of members over there, young and old. It taught me that whether we're 17 or 70, the symptoms are all just basically the same but manage to trick us all, every time! xxxx
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Oh, P.S. - Claire Weekes' 'Self Help For Your Nerves' is our bible over at the forum! You can also find some youtube video's if you google 'Claire Weekes'.
I also like Barry McDonagh's 'Dare' book - I have the free 'Dare' app. on my phone, and he's talked me through intrusive thoughts and panic on many an occasion! xxxx
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...... and I thought it was only me ::) but I can't explain how or when it comes over me. I have to tell myself that it won't last and fortunately it never has done.
At night I can be really tired, have a quick doze then wake: I get a sudden weird sensation "I will never sleep again" :-\ ......... it's quite an rush of anxiety. Of course, I do go back to sleep but it's quite a weird feeling.
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Hello Tempest.
Many thanks for your further comments. Clearly I need to do more research lol.
I was always a level headed person so the emotional extremes that have arrived with the menopause have been very difficult to deal with, I just don't feel like me a lot of the time.
I'll be relieved when I get the promised email from my consultant with the results of my blood test and a confirmed HRT strategy. I do like a nice chunk of science to cling to!
Wishing you well and take care.
K.
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I feed live meal worms to the wild birds and when I'm picking out individual worms for individual birds I feel like a hangman :-\. It crosses my mind that it's like picking out people to go left or right :'(
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I only have fears when I get chest pains, or between my
shoulder blades.which of course, anxiety can bring on.
I've just eat my dinner, and felt really sick after it, (chips)
and then started to get on and off chest pain, and between my shoulders.
I've had to come upstairs away from everyone to be on my own because I
could feel the panic starting. Now I've lay down , propped up, the panic has started
to go. I have got a cold though, and a bit of a cough, so it could be that.
But still, it's just horrible, the thoughts that go through my mind...
Just hope it ends one day..............
Jd x
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4 me it's physical initially then the panic begins :'(
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Hello Jillydoll.
When I'm having a panicky surge I want to be on my own so I lay on my bed and practice deep breathing, a friend of mine goes on a long bike ride and another woman I know sits in the shed at the bottom of her garden!
My trusty meno book says that feelings of dread and unease are a common emotional symptom of the menopause and it's best to find time for yourself to try and calm down. Easier said than done of course. The book also states that as oestrogen declines we are missing it's benefits as a tranquilising hormone. Yep, certainly feels that way lol.
I'm sorry that you are also suffering but you are not alone by any means.
Take care and sending hugs.
K.
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Thank you Kathleen.
It is nice to know we're not alone isn't it?
But, yeah, I always have to go somewhere on my own, even if
it's tricky, and if it is, I go and sit in the bathroom, if only for 5/6 minuets,
just to calm myself down. Other than that, I'm on my bed..
It doesn't happen everyday, but when it does, I'm off....I have to.
Mmmm, a tranquilizer is what I need right now....lol
Take care,
Jd x
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The potato thing I can relate to. It is the association part of your brain "remembering" that you felt panicky at the moment you looked at them. My friend is scared to drive on the motorway because that's where she had her first panic attack. The brain associates remembers and pictures fear and tricks us into thinking we fear that very thing. You just felt anxious at that precise moment and it could easily have been something else. It is anxiety and low serotonin you're not mad xx
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Hello jillydoll and KSB.
Thank you ladies for your responses.
I agree that the logical part of our brains is trying to help us identify and avoid anything that makes us feel anxious. For me the weird fears only arise if I am already feeling jittery and when the sensations suddenly disappear ( as they often do ) I am calm and reasonable again.
I will keep searching for the solution to this horrible problem and if I find something that definitely works I'll be sure to let you all know!
Thanks again ladies for your time and take care.
K.
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I find the slightest wee thing can cause me to get a bit worked up but I find it worse when im in new situations or getting over a flush
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I had already been feeling anxious yesterday evening and had to turn a DVD off which I had been looking forward to watching. I was in a bit of a state in the middle of the night, where the sight or sound of this and that made me feel scared and anxious. With the very light mornings, I just couldn't sleep, which got me even worse and brought on the usual symptoms. What eventually got me back to sleep was slowly day-dreaming my way through my childhood home, room by room, up the stairs and down the corridor, out into the garden. Nice, really..........took away all my anxiety and relaxed me completely. :)
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The other thing. When counting coppers to change into silver, it crosses my mind that the coins will be upset when put into the 'wrong' piles :-\. It's copper for goodness sake :kick: ::)
KSB - these feelings are different 4 me to the panic attacks. I would worry on 1 busy stretch of road as there is no where to pull off, it's twisty and windy and people drive faster than they should do. Add to that my body being hungry and the worry would begin prior to even getting in the
car :(.
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Hello Hinari hot flush and dulciana and thank you for your comments.
My internal shaking is really persistent today unfortunately. I can't work out if the jittery feelings bring on my anxiety or if the anxiety causes the jitters but it is at these times that I become panicky and fearful. One thing I do know is that all the distressing feelings can suddenly disappear and I am left wondering what I was so upset about!
Thanks again ladies and I wish you all a calm and pleasant evening.
K.
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I've had this experience and so has a friend of mine I think it's fall of oestrogen levels , an irrational fear spreads over you and makes you really scared for no apparent reason they are known as the doom and gloom feelings because that's exactly how you feel at that precise moment, mine dissapeared after increasing My Hrt. I've also had feelings of somebody watching me when I've been at home with just me and my Husband, another one when we bought some wicker baskets for storage, whilst my husband was putting them together the smell of them made me feel very scared so much so that I went upstairs until they were built and then used air freshener
To get rid of smell.
When I was unaware I was in peri menopause I was even scared to leave the house!!!
Ann(Smokey1234)
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Hello Smokey1234 and welcome to the forum.
Your comment about an irrational fear and feeling scared for no reason certainly resonates with me!
I am pleased that your symptoms resolved after increasing your HRT and hopefully I'll feel better as I increase my dose. No wonder we think we are going mad at this time in our lives!
Thanks again for posting and take care.
K.
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Oh yes! This is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Just suddenly crept up on me and I feel completely irrational!!
I've just posted a question actually as I was feeling so rubbish.
I've even cancelled the man that was coming to trim the hedge as I just cannot face the extra burden of having to talk to him! It's ridiculous!! Help what has happened to me? It's like some one has kidnapped the rational me?!?!
Oh phew... it's not just me! Was beginning to really doubt my sanity there for a minute!
I wonder if my meds need adjustment (2 pumps Estradiol, 100mg Utrogestan Daily).
Can't go on like this.... is it just a bump in the road?
Xx
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The potato thing I can relate to. It is the association part of your brain "remembering" that you felt panicky at the moment you looked at them. My friend is scared to drive on the motorway because that's where she had her first panic attack. The brain associates remembers and pictures fear and tricks us into thinking we fear that very thing. You just felt anxious at that precise moment and it could easily have been something else. It is anxiety and low serotonin you're not mad xx
Oh, KSB, I completely sympathise with your friend. The last time I drove on a motorway - eight years ago - I had a panic attack each time I passed a slip road, four in all. I can remember feeling as though each one was going to be my last moment. I haven't driven on a motorway since then and quite frankly, I couldn't do it now. :-\
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Sometimes I vaguely think 'is this the last time we will go on a drive and get back safely' :-\
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Omg Jeanie I would have been sick on the spot,I hate the bloody things xx
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I have that one CLKD,
Wheather I'm in the car or not, or it's my son driving,
I nearly always say ‘thank you ‘ for getting them or us back safely.
It drives me mad sometimes, especially if my son has left, and he rings later,
1st thing I think of is ‘he's been in a crash!'...
I never used to be like that....never...
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As for the spiders........
I have a massive phobia of those pesky things..
I check my room every night before I get into bed.
They scare the hell out of me. :'(
I was cleaning the bedroom once, and hanging on the wall was a picture of my granddaughter,
So, as I gave it the once over with a cloth, I swear I heard a hiss, well, I jumped
out of my skin, when I looked there was a big dirty spider living behind it. >:(
I had actually touched it, i screamed, OH came running up stairs, I was standing in
a total off my head state, trembling. When my OH had got it in a glass or something
it had a big baulb like thing on its back....my god it was big un....never seen one like that before in my life, and how long it had been there for was anyone's guess. :o
When I cleaned the picture after, it had made a massive web all over the back .
I couldn't even clean that without screaming...... :'(
This is why, I hate spiders........lol :(
I wonder how many times it had come out at night when we were in bed asleep... :'( :'( :'(
Very scary.....lol
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How many do we swallow in the night :o ......... I am OK once I know which way they are moving. It's going back to our Cave Days you know, when we had to be aware of what was likely to scuttle or crawl ........... that fight/flight response remains. Many years ago I was expecting visitors so decided to dust the pictures hanging on the walls in the dining room - a spider shot out from behind :o I swear it wasn't English ;D as it grappled with the feather duster! I got DH to step on it on the patio as I don't think that the Vet would have believed me had one of the dogs/ :catscratch: stood on it ! We eat a lot of bananas :-\
Life is fragile.
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I think anxiety tells us nasty lies, and even worse manages to convince us that they're true, and worst of all that they always will be true. And even though we know all this we fall for it every time. Truly evil.
I do try to tell myself ‘This will not bother you at all when you feel better' or ‘you are only thinking this way because you're anxious' but then the little voice in my head says ‘Ah, but what if this is the one time you never feel better again' and the whole thing becomes a vicious circle - being anxious about being anxious.
So hard for someone who has never experienced it to understand as it sounds so self-absorbed. But there are lots of lovely people on this forum who do, thank goodness x
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I haven't been able to drive on motorways since a panic attack in 2009. Was I peri even way back then?
I ended up in hospital last year with what I now know was a panic attack, but while it was happening I thought it was a heart attack. Since then I always carry rescue remedy spray and Kalm tablets. Both of which help. I am also able to calm myself down better now that I know why I have them.
One side story to all of this, last year, when I believe peri really started to kick in, I couldn't sleep...for four nights in a row. Every night I came down and sat on our new sofa, and cried all night. Anyhow, I managed to start to sleep again on a night, but I always had this mental block about that sofa. We only bought it last May, and I would never sit on it again after my sleepless nights. I even had to change the furniture around so that it wasn't in the same spot as it had been during my sleepless nights. Eventually, I asked my husband if we could sell it and get new sofas so that I didn't have to look at it ever again. Bless him, he agreed to it, but we did lose £700 in the process as nobody would pay the brand new price for it!
That was my purple sweet potato moment.🤨
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I'm the same Toodle Pips. I can't watch television programmes that I used to watch when I was very poorly with awful menopause symptoms.
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Isn't it weird how it affects us?
Oh the other thing that has happened since peri really kicked in is that I now hate cooking. I used to love it, but just have a real mental block particularly with the evening meal :o
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Glad things are better re the drivin Sparkle. Sadly for me it has never improved and I can manage to drive locally. Though I did go to Gretna a couple of years ago and managed to do it by avoiding motorways lol.
Yes I have digestive issues that have worsened since peri began, and there isn't a lot I can eat. So cooking the same old boring food day in and out has lost its sparkle...
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I am sat here in my office with the curtains drawn and the fan on. Outside it's over 28C already. I am no longer able to cope with this heatwave. It's making me feel really unwell now.
Last night at 1.30am I woke up with racing pounding heart. Very fast and forceful. Immediate anxiety and stress. I feel as if I'm trying to crawl out of my skin to run away but I can't get out, I sort of whimper instead. I eventually had to get up. My husband got up and played comic songs from our childhood to try to take my mind off it. It wouldn't stop. I eventually went back to bed because we were so tired. I haven't been able to sleep properly for weeks because of the heat, if I have the fan on my feet get cold and it's a bit noisy. We usually have it on for part of the night. Then we do the duvet dance all night. Feet in, feet out, body naked, under the covers for a little while repeat ad-naseum.
Woke up this morning and it was still going like that clappers. He said it was less forceful and less fast, but I am in such a panic I can't tell. I hate it. I've had a lot of this. Sometimes it's banging away all over the place and I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation as a result of that long before I thought to look at perimenopause. But this is different. It's still going. I feel faint in the heat if I try to do anything today. I just want to cry. And I really want it to go back to a normal beat.
For weeks now I've been very bloated and full of fluid too. I don't feel like my HRT is working anymore. I have to last 10 days until I see the specialist. Life is just miserable and has been for 6 years now. The last time I had a few actual happy days was last August bank holiday. What's the point.
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Suelw
I'm sorry your suffering so much, and I don't have any answers,
But I'm sure someone will post soon..
It must be horrible for you, i really feel your pain,
I too am suffering in this bloody heatwave, I hate it, far too hot for me.
Hang on in there honey, 10days seem a long time away, but there not really,
But they're going to feel like it to you because your suffering so much....
Stay strong, take care,
Jd x
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Mirabelle - 4 me anxiety is physical. On good days I can think about stuff that would floor me and it is OK. Once I feel queasy then I'm down within moments. Despite my CBT, relaxation therapy etc. :'(
Feeling bloated 4 me in the 1990s was caused by irritable bowel syndrome. Appropriate medication eased symptoms, maybe we shouldn't put everything down to 'the change'.
I drive much better when alone. I can stop when I like, any small mistakes are mine ............ I ought to drive more often.