Menopause Matters Forum

Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Wilks on May 24, 2018, 03:13:55 PM

Title: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 24, 2018, 03:13:55 PM
I'm heading towards rock bottom again with my mental health because of menopause. I'm on hrt, recently started testosterone (and was also on fluoxetine until I tried to drop it a couple of weeks ago). There are so many people including doctors shouting that HRT not antidepressants is the answer to menopause so I quit the antidepressants.
I can't accept all the awful things that the menopause has done to me. I truly feel like my body is telling me that my life is over, and only antidepressants can take away the urge to end it rather that struggle on in utter misery.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Dotty on May 24, 2018, 03:20:02 PM
If anti depressants help you then carry on taking them.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Daisydot on May 24, 2018, 03:22:23 PM
Go back to your gp Wilks don't struggle on alone, if you need A,Ds then discuss with your gp not anyone else,people can't and shouldn't generalise about these things mental health should be judged case to case not a one size fits all wether it's hrt or ads.You can try a combination until your head is back in a good place then when you feel in control again by all means reassess but don't make your choices on what other people think be guided by your gps.
You can and will get well again with just a wee bit of support,go and get it it's there for you.xx
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Dancinggirl on May 24, 2018, 03:31:51 PM
Wilks - many women need ADs alongside HRT so if you feel you need the ADs, then take them. Quality of life is so important so do whatever you feel you need to do to get this back. DG x
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 24, 2018, 03:48:17 PM
Thanks for responding, Dotty and DG. I restarted the AD's today but it will take a few weeks to get out of this hole I've dug myself.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Annie0710 on May 24, 2018, 03:50:10 PM
I agree with everyone, this is YOUR life, YOUR suffering so please don't think everything you read or hear is gospel.  Testosterone could well help you in time but in the here and now you need ADs, and only come off them when you feel ready

Big hugs xxx
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Daisydot on May 24, 2018, 04:00:59 PM
Well done Wilks take All the time you need to recover and keep posting I enjoy your posts xx
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Kernow on May 24, 2018, 04:10:28 PM
Good luck Wilks...you're hugely brave for telling us all.
Well done girl....you do what you have to do...it's YOUR life x
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 24, 2018, 04:41:56 PM
Thanks Daisydot, Kernow and Annie for your support. I'm really glad I found this group. X
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: CLKD on May 24, 2018, 04:53:46 PM
I have to take anti-depressant medication for Life.  Regardless of what is causing depression: whether it be hormonally driven or part of your make-up, if the ADs help then take them. 

I have both organic and clinical [situational] depression.  I have taken ADs since 1988.  So I don't know if I would have been 'worse' during peri without already being kind of stable.

Anxiety can be eased with appropriate treatment too.  Some ADs help anxiety.  Remember: once you are through the other side you can review what you are taking ;-). 

Do you keep a mood/symptom/food diary to chart progress?  Do you have hobbies?  Sitting in my garden feeding the wild birds today has helped me to relax after a stressful morning. 
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Daisydot on May 24, 2018, 04:55:24 PM
And we're lucky to have you Wilks keep posting xx
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: CLKD on May 24, 2018, 05:09:23 PM
Do you have a local MIND walk-in centre, I found our local one helpful.  They kept in contact via e-mail until my crisis was over, let me know when they were open should I need a cuppa.  Also Samaritans are there at the end of the 'phone too.  .......... and breath.  Relax if you can.  I love my evening bath, when depressed I was unable to sit there for long as I felt agitated.  Once the medication kicked in I was able to enjoy reading and my bath.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Lisa1966 on May 24, 2018, 05:37:02 PM
Hi wilks,I too am in this menopause hell of anxiety and depression,I did think of reducing my ads when feeling good for a few days,so glad I didn't as struggling again at the moment.sending hugs and take care.

            Lisa x
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: paisley on May 24, 2018, 05:44:21 PM
I just wanted to say Wilks that I really hope you feel better soon. Everyone is right you have to do what is best for you & if that is HRT & AD then so be it. This menopause malarky is certainly awful.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Kathleen on May 24, 2018, 05:51:41 PM
Hello Wilks.


So sorry to learn of your difficulties. You have had excellent advice from other ladies on this forum but I wanted to add my sympathies. You are not alone in your struggles and we are all here to support you.

My trusty meno book mentions all the symptoms of the menopause and also notes that disturbed sleep is a huge contributory factor so if you are experiencing insomnia or night sweats this alone would make you feel mentally fragile.

Unfortunately I don't have the answers for you but sending hugs and best wishes.

Take care and please keep posting.

K.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: jillydoll on May 24, 2018, 06:13:07 PM
Hi wilks.

Just to say hope you feel better soon, and agree with what the others have said.
You're quality of life IS the most important thing, why struggle and feel so down in the
gutter when you don't have to. Take your time, one day at a time, you deserve to feel better..

Big hugs

Jd x.  :bighug:
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Yammy1 on May 24, 2018, 07:45:26 PM
HI Wilks, the anxiety really is the pits. I tried a few different hrts, but none of them helped. I started citalopram last November, they took a while to work but I'm so glad I stuck with them. I have no intentions of stopping and although I'm having a few bad days I know this will pass. Ads have literally saved my life. I may introduce hrt again and see if it helps but if ads help then stick with them. Hope you feel better soon
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mrs Bella on May 24, 2018, 09:39:00 PM
I'm heading towards rock bottom again with my mental health because of menopause. I'm on hrt, recently started testosterone (and was also on fluoxetine until I tried to drop it a couple of weeks ago). There are so many people including doctors shouting that HRT not antidepressants is the answer to menopause so I quit the antidepressants.
I can't accept all the awful things that the menopause has done to me. I truly feel like my body is telling me that my life is over, and only antidepressants can take away the urge to end it rather that struggle on in utter misery.
Oh Wilks it breaks my heart to hear this! I too have felt like that over the past 10 months since I started menopause. I said to my husband, “If this is as good as it gets, and it's going to stay like this indefinitely, I want out”. Then I get a good nights sleep and I feel somewhat better the next day. Know that you are not alone in this thing called Menopause. Here's what I have tried and I am still here...I hope this helps: TMS treatments for depression, Valdoxan for depression and anxiety (this has been a game changer), Lamitan to help stabilise my moods (low dose) and Duavive. I am going to stay on these meds as I can't live with the depression nor anxiety that has engulfed me since I started menopause.
Keep posting about your struggles as people are listening and want to help. X
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mrs Bella on May 24, 2018, 09:43:52 PM
Thanks for responding, Dotty and DG. I restarted the AD's today but it will take a few weeks to get out of this hole I've dug myself.
I am pleased to hear this Wilks! Don't beat yourself up over this. You have made proactive steps by starting ADs again. Be proud of yourself for having the courage to do so. X
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: CLKD on May 25, 2018, 11:43:06 AM
How R U this morning Wilks?
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 25, 2018, 01:16:13 PM
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your support, it means a lot. Feeling a bit better today.

mrs bella- Lamitan is lamotrogine, I think? I tried that but I couldn't sleep at all, even on one-quarter of the tiniest dose possible. It was a shame, as I desperately wanted it to work!
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: CLKD on May 25, 2018, 02:16:27 PM
Do you have an appt. with anyone?
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mrs Bella on May 25, 2018, 09:23:11 PM
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your support, it means a lot. Feeling a bit better today.

mrs bella- Lamitan is lamotrogine, I think? I tried that but I couldn't sleep at all, even on one-quarter of the tiniest dose possible. It was a shame, as I desperately wanted it to work!
Yes, that's the generic name. What a shame.
Valdoxan was a game changer for me Wilks. It's a melatonin based antidepressant so works by improving/resetting your sleep cycle. It has lifted my mood and curbed the anxiety. Well worth investigating as another option Wilks.
I hope you have something nice planned for the weekend. A bike ride? X
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 26, 2018, 10:09:14 AM
Hi Mrs bella, I am doing something nice this weekend: on a little Greek island for a week with hubby and youngest son. We arrived last night. Third day back on the fluoxetine so hopefully that will kick back in soon.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mrs Bella on May 26, 2018, 11:14:03 AM
Hi Mrs bella, I am doing something nice this weekend: on a little Greek island for a week with hubby and youngest son. We arrived last night. Third day back on the fluoxetine so hopefully that will kick back in soon.
Wow...that sounds fabulous to me! Sunshine, breathtaking scenery, good food and all with your family. That combo should lift your spirits. I have my fingers crossed for you that the AD kcks in pronto. Enjoy your vacation Wilks! X
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 26, 2018, 08:26:28 PM
I may look into Valdoxan and in the future, Mrs Bella. I did take it for a few months when it was first approved but it didn't do a lot for me. However I didn't have any side effects either so I could probably have gone up a dose.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Daisydot on May 26, 2018, 08:33:19 PM
Where are you Wilks you lucky thing lol.I hope things settle for you and you have a fabulous time xx
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mrs Bella on May 26, 2018, 10:19:33 PM
I may look into Valdoxan and in the future, Mrs Bella. I did take it for a few months when it was first approved but it didn't do a lot for me. However I didn't have any side effects either so I could probably have gone up a dose.
It took awhile for it to kick in with me. I was going to give up the ghost but stuck it out simply because I had no side effects. I didn't want to be a zombie as I have heard some ADs can make you feel. Nor gain weight for that matter. I am on 25mg (1 tablet). My GP said most people take 50mg (2 tablets).
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: CLKD on May 27, 2018, 12:48:24 PM
....... and breath Wilks!  Well done. 

Half a day at a time, when I was very ill I had to think no further than an hour ahead.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: CLKD on May 27, 2018, 07:17:39 PM
Tnx for the update Rockhopper!
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 27, 2018, 07:59:33 PM
Thanks for the optimism, Rockhopper.   :)

Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Emerald2017 on May 28, 2018, 05:21:03 AM
I can relate!
I was almost suicidal when I diagnosed with early menopause a year ago. I am 43.
I was feeling old before my time. I couldn't recognize myself and I didn't want my life anymore.
I am single and childless.
Things will be better with time. Hrt makes a huge difference and it helps with the symptoms.
I have a friend, she is 53 and she looks gorgeous! She has a body of 40, a few wrinkles and a sexy style. She had her meno at 46, no hrt. I know a lady, she is 52, has still her period but looks old and depressed.
I feel that a lot of things are in our mind!
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mrs Bella on May 28, 2018, 11:49:48 AM
I can relate!
I was almost suicidal when I diagnosed with early menopause a year ago. I am 43.
I was feeling old before my time. I couldn't recognize myself and I didn't want my life anymore.
I am single and childless.
Things will be better with time. Hrt makes a huge difference and it helps with the symptoms.
I have a friend, she is 53 and she looks gorgeous! She has a body of 40, a few wrinkles and a sexy style. She had her meno at 46, no hrt. I know a lady, she is 52, has still her period but looks old and depressed.
I feel that a lot of things are in our mind!
Emerald2017 I am 42 and was diagnosed with menopause late last year. I lost the plot. I was suicidal. Thankfully that sense of hopelessness has passed thanks to time, HRT and antidepressants.
I hope that things continue to improve for you.
And Wilks I hope you are having a fabulous holiday, the antidepressant is kicking in and that you are feeling brighter! X
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 28, 2018, 11:53:10 AM
Thanks Mrs Bella, i'm having a lovely holiday. Five days back on the fluoxetine, a bit jittery with it, while it kicks in again, but feeling much more like my old self.  :)
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Emerald2017 on May 28, 2018, 11:55:20 AM
Hi Bella, thanks! Hope you feel great too. Early menopause is too common and absolutely needs treatment! 💐
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mrs Bella on May 28, 2018, 11:57:11 AM
Thanks Mrs Bella, i'm having a lovely holiday. Five days back on the fluoxetine, a bit jittery with it, while it kicks in again, but feeling much more like my old self.  :)
That's fantastic news Wilks! I am so pleased to hear that. I was really worried about you when you first wrote about your struggles. Things can only get better for you now Wilks. X
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Daisydot on May 28, 2018, 12:37:09 PM
Great news Wilks I'm dead jealous of you I love going to Mykonos usually but not included it this year.have a ball and enjoy xx
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Mustard1 on May 30, 2018, 11:57:39 AM
Hi Wilks - these posts have been so helpful. I was initially put on Citalopram in January completely oblivious that this was hormones as I was a,ready on Kliofem.  Anyway in March I went to see a menopause doctor who prescribed Everol Conti - things improved then dipped and she added oestrogel (1 pump) but my days are still up and down.  Less depression I didn't want  to live how I was but manic anxiety about sleeping.  I listened to some of the ladies on the site   and am now seeing a CBT therapist (isn't working yet but I will persevere). I also try meditation- but sometimes nothing helps.  However as I thought the AD was doing no good I was about to wean myself of and have now realised that would not be sensible - essentially thanks to your post.   I hope you keep getting stronger each day. Best of luck to you.
Title: Re: Really struggling with mental health :-(
Post by: Wilks on May 30, 2018, 12:33:19 PM
Hi Mustard1,
Thanks for your post, glad it helped a little.
I had 12 sessions of counselling a couple of years ago, and I'm a big fan of talking therapies (when you find a good counsellor/ therapist, that is!). I also feel good after a yoga class.

I liken the low mood of perimenopause to having relentless pre-menstual syndrome. When I was younger my PMS would often make me feel suicidal but it was easier to deal with as I knew it would pass after a day or 2.
I've said this before, but if it wasn't for having my lovely kids, and it was possible to know in advance what hell my hormones have put me through, I would seriously have considered transitioning to a man a long time ago!