Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Herbie73 on April 26, 2018, 05:50:04 AM
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Ladies I know I keep going on, but I'm really am in a state, I can't sleep, I have panic attacks as I fall asleep, I'm not functioning, I'm so scared that my dr has fast tracked me to a gynocologist, in my head this means only one thing and that's all I can focus on, I think iam seriously heading for a break down, I know to most people this may be extreme, but my mental status isn't good at the moment, I've suffered with health anxiety most of my life, now it's as if my worst fears are coming true, please if anyone has been through a similar experience, please let me know. Xxxxx
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Hi Herbie.
How knowledgble was your GP about menopause? I ask this because my GP fast tracked me for all sorts of tests when I went with what I was certain were menopausal symptoms and in hind sight I realise it was simply because menopause as a cause for the symptoms just wasn't part of his consciousness due to lack of knowledge. He said my symptoms could be caused by any number of gynae issues and wanted to eliminate all of those possibilities first. I said all I wanted was HRT but he said he would be failing in his duty as a doctor if he didn't refer me for a barrage of tests first. Because some of the POSSIBILITIES (and that's all they were!) were serious I was fast tracked and NOT because he was convinced I had something nasty, just because that's what they have to do.
Once I had gone through all the tests which took about 3 months, he agreed to consider menopause and HRT which has now been prescibed and many of the sympoms (including extreme anxiety) have subsided.
In all probability your worst fears are NOT coming true - your doctor is just following protocols. Go with it. It's good to get a thorough check over every now and then anyway. Please try not to panic - your body is no different today than it was the day before you saw the GP. Having taken action to see your GP you are simply now on the path to feeling better. I wish you good health and peace of mind in the near future x
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Thank you for your reply, how did you cope going through all the test xxx
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The tests included blood tests, 2 kinds of ultrasound, a smear and a womb biopsy. They just kept going and going with them until they were 100% satisfied they had followed the protocol for investigating my symptoms. Nothing was found during any of them that indicated a need for another test but they did them all anyway because that's their job and their process.
The waiting for results so I could get on to the next test was annoying. I kept wishing they could do it all in one day rather than having to have one thing done, wait for results, go to a review meeting with the consultant, wait for the appointment for the next test and on and on. I just tried to remain patient with it all by keeping in mind that the process was getting me to where I wanted to be - feeling better. I lost my temper once with the GP because I felt so awful and just wanted to feel like my old self, fast. I wanted him to put me on HRT straightaway while they were doing all these tests but he wouldn't until they were all done and the results were in. Later, when all the tests had been done and I was on HRT and feeling better, calmer, happier etc I apologised to him and I now realise he was looking after me all along :-) x
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So so far I have had pelvic exam, cervix checked, blood test, pelvic ultrasound and now I am waiting for ahysteroscopy, on the scan they found adyomosis,fibroids and slight endometrial thickening that was 14 mm on day 18 of my cycle, I have read that this is still in the range of normal for menstruating women, it's just unnerved me that the go fast tracked me to a gynocologist xxxx
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Turn things around in your mind Herbie if you can. Your Dr is being very thorough, which in the current climate of the NHS is very reassuring.
There are some very knowledgeable ladies on this forum and I'm sure you will find the support you need :)
Good luck x
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Aw Herbie it's their job to fast track if any symptoms were to potentially be a nasty cause. I've been fast tracked a few times that I can think of off the top of my head and I'm here proving that it's just to be on the safe side
I was rushed through for a brain scan (twice)
Breast scan
Pelvic scan with blood test to check for ovarian cancer
Try to Take comfort from our experiences, and I hope you manage to relax until you get your results xxx
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It is quite normal to be under the two week fast track rule, although mine was breast related my gp fast tracked even though she was certain it was after effects of an infection which it was....I know it's hard but it is NHS practice to do that.
Will be thinking of you, it's not a nice place to be, hopefully on the day of the tests they may be able to give you some reassurance.
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As you have been reassured in several other posts, you are fortunate that your Dr is being thorough and there should be no cause for hysteria. I think it was CLKD who wisely said, whats the worst thing that can happen. Even in the highly unlikely event of it being endometrial cancer, its highly treatable, your lining was not that thickened and you also have a fibroid and the adenomysis (spelling) all these can cause spotting, I know its difficult but try not to harp on the worst case scenario or you will crack.What date is your appointment? Your anxiety is typical of peri meno I was exactly the same, a rub on gel with some progesterone or a patch would really make a big difference.
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Herbie, part of the problem is the NHS don't routinely offer uterine scans like other countries do, they are the exception in the UK, not the rule. Places like Germany, France and Spain scan women routinely so these type of conditions are picked up all the time and seen as routine. My German gynaecologist is shocked that the NHS scan women so infrequently.
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I suffer with Health Anxiety so I understand how you feel but for me, if someone gives me reassurance, it tends to help with the anxiety. I have a good friend who is a very positive person and does not suffer from anxiety yet she too got fast tracked for same reason as you and it did worry her (naturally). She had to wait a few weeks for her results and in that time, she had convinced herself it was bad news which is very unlike her but thankfully, all was well.
It's natural to worry but with Health Anxiety, the mind takes over and I understand that but you need to distract yourself or you are going to make it worse. Make sure you keep busy during the day. Try not to be on your own overthinking. Also, as Cassie says even if it were to be bad news (which I don't think it will be) it is very treatable.
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You don't need to begin another thread as you may become 'lost' as the pages roll down ::)
I have a phobia. I understand constant anxiety. I was often asked what the worst was that could happen ....... well for me it was :beaurk:. It infiltrated my dreams in the form of nightmares and still does when I am stressed. No one could offer treatment. No one could offer a way out. I have been through many forms of counselling.
Your GP is acting correctly. You are lucky that your Health Authority is able to 'fast track' patients. Many areas are so under-funded that it is no longer possible, despite what the Government of the Day insists upon. Maybe make a list to take to your appt., ask and note down the answers. Professionals get au fait with giving information and often only part of what is required to put a person's mind at rest [I've worked with some of those too >:(].
Let us know how you get on and do stick to one thread ::)
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Morning ladies,
So I went to see my gp again yesterday, my gp from when I was a child, really weird because I haven't seen him for ages, he has reassured my mum in the past about her bleeding issues, anyway I went in there like an emotional wreak and told him my fears, anyway he sat there and explained everything went through my scan results and showed me them, only conclusion on the scan was about a7 mm fibroid, no referral or anything, anyway he explained how's a fibroid can cause a thickened endometrium and cause heavy bleeding, he said there was nothing on the scan that alarmed him, it just precautionary to send for extra test, he said as for fast track, if they didn't I would be waiting for Christmas and with my anxiety isn't a good idea, anyway I told him I thought I had cancer and he said there nothing on the scan no mass etc, and he's words were, I don't think you have cancer, he also went on to say he thinks I dont have a problem down there, but the problem is in my head, he was really funny and reassuring, anyway I came out the crying with relief and feeling loads better, obviously I'm still a it anxious but not like I was, I've also read that endometrial thickness can still be classed as normal up to16 mm in the second half of your cycle, and mine was 14 mm on day 18 of my cycle, so that reassuring as well, also in perimenopause it's very common for women to have a thickened endometrium, the other thing that reassuring is I do not have any risk factors of ec, so hopefully I will be ok, anyway I so sorry for being so annoying,
But it make me feel better when I chat to others who have or have been through a similar situation.
Thank
Herbie xxxx
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You R not annoying. MM is the place where others have experienced Health Anxiety, worries about menopause etc.. Well done on your GP 4 being so understanding :medal: hang on to him, he sounds like he knows what he is talking about.
How do you feel this morning?
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Was ok , now convicted the fibroid is a leiomyosarcoma, and I received my appointment this morning for next Friday, now I feel crap again, but thank you for asking xxxx
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Well that's a name that, as a Medical Secretary, I wouldn't want to take down in shorthand. :D
OK you feel crap. So get on with something to take your mind off it? It's almost like you are focussed on the worst. :-\
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Hi Herbie
Pleased that you doctor offered you some reassurance and that your appointment has come for next week. Health anxiety is a horrible thing I know, but you need to put your trust in your doctor and believe him when he said there was nothing alarming on the scan or you will have a hard time getting through each day. After I had my ultrasound, the hospital contacted me within 2 hours and asked me to come in the next morning for a hysteroscopy and I was petrified - they found nothing wrong but the fear that there 'might be' took over and all I could do was google the worst scenarios and play them out in my mind.
Maybe try googling some relaxation techniques which might help to calm you. Will keep my fingers crossed for you. Dolly x
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Thanks dolly,
Why did you have to go next day ? Just wondering xxxx
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Well this is what scared me. Having worked in a doctors surgery before, the only time I've seen patients being called back to hospital the very next morning was if there was something sinister going on, so I was totally convinced that was the case. After the hysteroscopy, I asked why I called back so urgently after the ultrasound and he said that it was due to the NHS guidelines of the fast tracking!! Are you having a hysteroscopy next week? Dolly x
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Yes Friday and I am so scared, what was wrong with your ultrasound ?
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Yes Friday and I am so scared, what was wrong with your ultrasound ?
Why are you still scared? You saw an experienced doctor yesterday who put your mind at rest. You have a small fibroid. Big deal. Most of us have a few of those at some point. So then you Googled again and found something with an unpronounceable name, which is presumably not a nice thing to have, and you've convinced yourself that your simple fibroid is going to kill you! Stop it Herbie. You are driving yourself mad with this. Your doctor was right. This is all in your head.
I told you a few days ago to go to work and get on with something else. Someone above has just said the same. Take our advice. Leave the Internet alone and do something with your hands and brain. This is not a big deal.
Sorry, to sound harsh. But you really do have to get a grip on yourself. Just remember back to how relieved you felt when you left your nice doctor's office yesterday and focus back on that. He's been a doctor for decades. He has seen it all. He's not worried. Neither should you be.
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Herbie - The radiographer said the lining was 13mm but that wasn't abnormal if I was still in peri but I didn't know where I was in the menopause journey (I had a mirena coil). When I got called in for the hysteroscopy the next day, the gynae confirmed there and then that all looked fine - I watched the hysteroscopy procedure on the screen and he talked me through it. He took a biopsy as a precautionary measure but said that it didn't look abnormal and it came back clear. I'm sure you will be fine too, now you need to try and relax as much as possible about this and take positivity from what your doctor said x
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Thank you, you are so kind, and I prefer harshness it makes me realise what an idiot I am, it's just I hate the thought of any tests, it's almost like I feel the Drs keep something back, I have been referred for cbt therapy, so hopefully this will help, I hate being so anxious when other people just get on with it and don't expect the worst, I have been like this since I was 13 years old, sometime I get a year or 2 respite, then it all comes back again, it's totally ruin my life, I have the most beautiful baby grandson, who I haven't enjoyed sine the day he was born, also I am drinking every night to make myself relax, I'm normally such a health conscious person, vegetarian, dont smoke, physically active, take supplements, keep my weight down and now I'm eating crap and drinking, and googling, I'm never had a day of sick in five years I have been in my job, now I have taken 4 this week, I am going back Monday, I've been to the Drs about 6 times now, I'm going to end up being sectioned ;D ;D,anyway thank you for a nice reply
Herbie xxxx
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What did you do B4 Google etc.? :-\
What's the worst that could happen? Be glad that we have access to health care with Medics would have been thoroughly trained. Of course sometimes they get it 'wrong' ...... but in the scheme of things, why would it be your case that is 'wrong'?
If you are aware of your over drinking, maybe that's the place to begin? Alcohol is a depressant. I don't even like the taste any more ::).
How old is the grandson, are his parents aware that you don't enjoy him :-\. Do they live local to you?
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Thanks dolly, the radiographer said that I'm still ovulating, as I did this month but not sure if it's every month, my lining was 14 mm on day 18 of my cycle, which I've read it's still classed as normal, so mine was only a mm more than yours, and I'm not even sure I have started perimenopause, so this is why I'm confused as to why they have referred me, I know they said I have a small fibroid and ademyosis, so I'm really confused, I have read lots of women on this site that have had a lot worse and plus I'm not even bleeding now, also clkd, when I say I have no interest in my grandson what I meant was, I'm scared to become to attached, he's only 10 weeks and I love him so much, also my daughter she also has health anxiety so she understands how I feel, I look after him all the time, it's just since he was born, a week later was when the whole bleeding issues started, I've stressed myself out so much it has ruined what should be the best time of my life, anyway I'm sorry for going on, thank you herbiexxxx
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That's different to not having any interest! Enjoy him. Let him take your mind off the appt.. Be thankful that we have access to an NHS that does it's best under difficult circumstances?
Did you do knitting prior to his birth? I can't knit for toffee ::) [we had a thread here about knitting somewhere ..... ]
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I have been like this since I was 13 years old, sometime I get a year or 2 respite, then it all comes back again, it's totally ruin my life
What happened when you were 13 to set this off?
If you get CBT, or a talking therapy, concentrate on that. The start at 13. Something needs working out there.
I do get it. Honestly I do. But only you can stop it. I was 18 when I found a lump in my breast. It was straight to the GP and she booked me into hospital for a biopsy (which was surgical back then) that very day! I went home from the surgery reeling and was in hospital that evening and operated on the next day. The lump was benign and I went on to have lumpy breasts connected to my hormones all my reproductive life. But that shock, that instant nature of it all did shake me up and of course I'd had surgery so had to recover from that. Then, every 6 months for several years I had to attend a hospital clinic for a doctor to examine my breasts and give me the all clear for the next 6 months. I hadn't even had a boyfriend at 18. It was very embarrassing. I remember that it was quite usual for the consultant to have trainees with him, which was even worse. And once, there were around 6 trainees with him and he asked if I would mind them all having a feel!!! I was too shy then to say no. I sweated in embarrassment all the way home. I look back now and laugh.
So I do understand health anxiety, but I fought it off. There wasn't an unreliable Dr Google about then, that helped. You have to distract yourself, which is what CBT is about. The best way to distract is to make. Literally use your hands and brain to make something. Bake, build, sew, paint, whatever you like to do, do it. And every time the fear comes up for another look, shout at it. Tell it to sod off! and get back to what you were doing.
Stop drinking. That's bad on so many points and will make menopause or perimenopause symptoms so much worse. Instead get some relaxing herbal teas and drink those. Concentrate on relaxing or bed time teas. I love them with lavender and camomile in and mint. Watching TV doesn't help. It's mind numbing. Turn it off. Play some music if you want sound.
You are going to be absolutely fine.
xxx
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My go-to relaxation is my evening bath: lots of bubbles, cuppa and Very Good Book. When I was ill with depression I couldn't settle at all. I couldn't read. Watch TV. Enjoy my bath. So any hobbies are now valued.
This too will pass. Whatever the outcome! Get that camera out and take plenty of photos of that baby, they grow so fast!
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Morning ladies, so freaking out once more, got another appointment today, apparently the one I received yesterday morning at ten o'clock was for that day at 11.30, so missed it, not my fault , so I have it at 10.00 on Wednesday, I can't help but freak out, I'm so scared what they will find, does anyone know can a fibroid cause thickening of the lining or stress, I've been really anxious for 2 months, anyway thanks ladies xxxx
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Fibroids can cause unusual bleeding which can cause stress.
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So I have just been discussing my fears with my husband and daughter(she's 25) and they asked do yo think the Drs are lying to you, I replied yes, they said why? I said I don't think they are being up front with me and hiding something that looks more serious on the scan, they replied why would they do that the don't care if you go for follow up treatment or not as long as they have sent you for the right tests, they said not only am I anxious I am also paranoid and need help, I can see were they are coming from, but I can't shake this fear, I'm really trying but it's so hard, I'm addicted to google, I really don't know how to handle this, the weird thing is I am no longer spotting which is strange, I have been so stressed lately, I'm wondering if I messed my cycle up, I'm really trying to keep it together, if any ladies on here have gone through this, with the added health anxiety, please could you reply and let me know how things went.
Herbie :'( :'(
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Do you want to have something serious? Do you really believe a GP would be bothered to tell lies? You are lucky to get repeated appts., here we have to wait at least 5 days between appts.. within the Surgery. Your GP is busy. Once you go out that door he is thinking about the next patient/phone call/bad news that he has to impart. As a medical secretary I can tell you how busy they are!
Are you asking in the hope that a lady here will come on having had a serious illness diagnosed which a Doctor missed? Some ladies here have had serious conditions, some that will never be cured but they press on. Chronic illness is difficult to deal with, both for the sufferer and surrounding family. When physicality hits me I find it hard to believe what anyone suggests because I feel so ill. But if I follow orders, i.e. medications, relaxation, they are in general, right.
One doesn't mess up a hormonal cycle easily! Nature does what She does. As we go into menopause naturally oestrogen levels drop off, it's The Change. Maybe keep a mood/food/symptom diary, it might help focus your mind.
Why hasn't your Husband removed the computer/lap top, whatever?? from the house to stop you going onto GOOGLE? Why aren't you listening to him?
You need to get a grip. We have a calendar here, his/hers - if the appts. aren't on the calendar then we forget! However, should I forget an appt at the Surgery the GP would ring me ::)
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Good advice Sonka. Something her husband ought to have done!
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Herbie, this is not at all healthy. You are posting these same questions on the No More Panic website.
Get off the computer, get out in the fresh air and live your life. I have had health anxiety for 20 years. I do not let it control my life like you are doing. It sounds like you need a psychiatric assessment if you are now believing Dr's are lying to you.
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Thank you ladies, I believe I do need to see a therapist, as this happens to me every couple of years, I making my family miserable, I really think I have severe health anxiety, that needs addressing, I feel so lonely and scared, my family are wonderful, my mum has health anxiety and so does my daughter( that's my fault),my mums dad also suffered with it avoided the Drs like the plague, I have a very long line of mental health problems in my family, I try to avoid Drs but in the end I give in, I hate any test, they make me go into panic mode, I always fear the worst, I need to address this problem I know, I'm sorry I'm probably getting on people's nerves, but when you have health anxiety you try to seek reassurance that works for maybe a day, then you start dr googling again and get yourself in to a state again, it's a vicious circle I need to break, while I'm writing this I'm sobbing my heart out, because my youngest daughter has gone to a concert and normally I constantly check to see if she's ok, it took my husband to say that I hadn't even text her yet, I feel so selfish and yet I'm the most unselfish person you would ever meet. Thanks ladies
Herbie xxx
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Herbie, do you think you have a cancer phobia? It sounds like you could have, it is very common and it doesn't just affect women, just as many men of all ages suffer from this phobia thinking everything is a sign of cancer.
Do you find that your health anxiety shifts i.e. you get reassurance on one thing and them move your anxiety to another?
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Herbie, I get health anxiety too so I really feel for you. It is a real struggle to get it under control especially when investigations are ongoing. I hope you get the all clear soon so you can calm down.
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Thanks ladies, yes I defiantly have a cancer phobia, every symptom I get always turn into the big c, 4 years ago I went through a Breast cancer phobia, that lasted about 3 months, I was convinced something was growing in my boob, even though the Drs checked and said every thing was healthy, it took ages for me to get over it, then I had a couple of blips in between, then at the beginning of this year I thought my husband had lung cancer because he had a cough for 3 months, when my girls were young any symptom they had I always thought it was leukaemia or some rare child hood cancer, I can't ever think logical, I think it may stem from when I was 16 my grandad had lung cancer(smoked for 50 years and worked with asbesto), after he died I went to see him in the chapel of rest and he looked terrible and at played on my mind for ages, also my mum has always feared cancer, she hasn't had a smear test since she was 37 she is now 63 , she was always scared of the results, my dad also had a breakdown in his thirties because he thought he had cancer, he was actually bed ridden go about 4 weeks, so as you can see I have seen a lot of cancer anxiety over the years.
Thanks
Herbie
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Phobias can take over :'( ......... for years I had no relief, as mine gave me nightmares.
So what do you plan to do to over-haul your reaction to your thought patterns? It can be years B4 one gets an appt. for mental health assistance. I didn't find 'no panic' any use to me when I spoke on the 'phone in the 1990s. They repeated words from the various self-help books around at the time .......... :-\
I had cancer. Still here! I have anxiety - without the emergency pill I wouldn't be here. My first panic attack was at age 3. My anxiety when going for breast diseased treatment was that panic attacks would stop me attending: adrenaline got me through.
Stop comparing yourself with your relatives! Each 1 of us reacts differently - if we were all in the same room each one would have a different version of what happened. Do you know anyone that has had treatment for cancer? Have you supported anyone going through treatment? It's often what we don't know that freaks us out.
Maybe have a time that you put to one side: 10 mins. each morning and 10 mins. B4 your evening meal: to think about how you have felt in the night and during the day. Then get on with something else. Does your husband work?
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I'm so sorry you had cancer, I feel really guilty now, I just find it hard to cope with these situations, I feel really selfish now, I hope you are well, I really have the biggest heart, but when I'm in these situations, this is how react, with fear and anxiety, I'm not comparing myself to my family, but I have learnt over many years how they deal with it, and that's why I react the way they do, I'm so sorry xxxx
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And yes I have supported some one going through cancer and yes my husband and myself work, we are still in our 40s, I ant help the way I feel,if I could change it I would xxx
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You can't help the way you feel at the moment, but you CAN change the way you react to how you feel. YOU can start building skills that will help you through this, and making positive changes to your behaviour which will start the process of recovering. Waiting for mental health services might take time - go onto No More Panic and look at their booklist. There are listed there self-help books about health anxiety. You could also do a search for Health Anxiety books on Amazon, and then filter them by star rating. There are some good ones on there. You need to do something, only you have the power to make changes here. Even CBT isn't a magic cure, you have to be committed to it, work hard, do homework and really train yourself to change your thought processes. Whats the harm on trying some self-help now?
As for having a 'cancer phobia'; surely most people are terrified of cancer - I know I am. It stretches you to the limit of how far you can cope, it is incredibly tough physically at times going through treatment, but mostly it is so very challenging psychologically. However, people get through it however they can, and have to accept it (as they have no choice).
What I don't understand is this - if your sole purpose in doing for tests and scans is to be told everything will alright, everytime, then that seems a pointless exercise. Scans and tests, particularly screening, are about finding things early so that they can be treated. Would you not rather find something early and have it treated ? BTW I'm NOT saying your doctor is lying, or that you have cancer!
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Thank you charys , I will , I will see what they have thank you xxxx
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Thank you., I will have a read xxx
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Morning ladies, I've been having terribl night sweats this week, I'm not sure if it's perimenopause, or my anxiety, I haven't bleed all week and it seems to coincide with that, I think the reason I'm unsure I'm going through peri, is my hormone levels came back normal, but I don't think they checked esterogen and progesterone, it seems like my symptoms relate to low progesterone, anyone knowledgable in this.
Many thanks
Herbie xxx
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If the doctor checked to see if you were imbalanced (in the sense of perimenopausal changes) then oestrogen and progesterone levels should have been included, I believe. However, I think I might have said this to you on NMP (but I'm losing track a bit lol) often those hormone levels can come back as normal, or 'unremarkable' even for perimeno women. Mine came back as normal, but my GP explained that it depends when bloods where taken, from which cycle they were taken - as everything is so erratic often a blood test won't be terribly helpful as it might not show the fluctuations. I believe I have low progesterone from my own reading and my GP agrees based on symptoms.
I also found out that high levels of stress and anxiety can cause the progesterone to be even lower - in times of anxiety your body (in basic terms) makes cortisol rather than progesterone and hence your periods can be even more erratic than normal erratic. Stress and anxiety can affect your period in just about every possible way.
I am trying hard myself on this front - to be less anxious about period changes - as also have been incredibly upset about hormone changes this year and how crappy they've made me feel. I have been getting very worked up about the heaviness of them. Its tough, but i have noticed that periods where I am more stressed and anxious are worse in terms of heavy bleeding than usual.
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Hi charys, the hormone test I had was LH, TSH, and FS, that's all that was on the blood test, nothing else so I'm not sure is that the progesterone and esterogen, quite confused by these test, my night sweats are awful at the moment waking about 5 times a night really sweating, no heating on, also I've read that fibroids can be due to perimenopause, I'm trying to reason with myself that this is my issue and not some terrible illness, I'm sorry that I have gone on lately but I really have got myself in a state, feel slightly carmer today, trying to stay rational. Thanks Herbie xxx
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OK, I don't know then about the test done - anyway - the same still applies apparently they are not that helpful for many in perimeno. Mine was also normal (I also have fibroids by the way) and I have no doubt I've been slowly erratically being erratic for 4 years lol. Your doctor has said quite clearly that they don't believe it to be anything to worry about - but you know what - even if it was , you can be treated (Just like many women on here have been) and move on with your life. You need to work on your fear of illness, no matter what wednesday shows/doesn't show. At some point in all our lives, luckily later rather than sooner for most, you will need to face an illness that needs treating.
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You are probably going through The Change so nothing will be normal again. Hormones rise and fall at this time of Life and it can make ladies feel dreadful.
What do you think that menopause will be Herbie, surely night/day sweats or flushes are 'normal' at this time associated with a drop of oestrogen?
What's NMP Charys?
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Sorry CLKD, yes that was remiss of me to not explain more fully, it was mentioned earlier in the thread also - Herbie also posts on a site called 'No more Panic'.
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I do have lots of symptoms of perimenopause, thinning hair omg just fulls out in handfuls( luckily my hair was thick to start with now normal thickness), night sweats on and off, really foggy thinking, bruising really easy, anxiety, sleep disturbance, lack of pmt(no sore boobs, acne, moodiness, mouth ulcers, bloating, anymore) boobs used to go up a size the week before, obviously the fibroids which I have read can be linked to perimenopause, so I have loads of symptoms, also as I have mentioned before my mum had early perimenopause, menopause at 50, she also had really erratic bleeding weeks at a time, but she left hers. It's weird how some ladies on here have severe bleeding but the don't seem to get referred, I only had light bleeding, anyway I'm really sorry for being such a pain, it helps to hear over ladies have had these problem and have got through it xxxx
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So having read the responses here: having spoken to your husband: how are you going to face the week? Stop GOOGLING? Listen to your GP/husband .........
I found relaxation therapy helped for a while. Acceptance was difficult but acceptance cleared my head about many health issues I have suffered with since 1988. Still here!
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Ladies, why do I feel I can help others with there health anxiety, but not myself, I can see others worries are irrational, but not my own, Herbie xx
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Because fear hasn't any logic to it. What ever your sensible side tells you, fear if physical. Fight or flee is a natural response to danger which diverts blood from the gut into the legs ........ enabling us. So if someone has constant anxiety then that can be self-feeding.
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Was it today that you were going to your appointment? Hope that it went well and that you are less stressed.
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Hi cassie, yes I had the appointment this morning, thank you for remembering, went to gynocologist, almost walked out but my daughter and auntie made sure I didn't, when I went in I had a total melt down in front of the gynocologist, he was lovely reassured me there was nothing to worry about said my dr had been overly cautious as my scan results were pretty normal, had the Hysteroscopy didn't hurt at all, he said my uterus looked nice and healthy and lovely and pink and there wasn't anything concerning at all, took a biopsies to reinforce that, after he said everything looked fine and shouldn't see me again , and to book the holiday I had been talking about, I realised I started a new thread and I shouldn't have, anyway I've sent my referral off for my cbt, so hopefully if any thing like this happens in the future I will react differently, anyway thanks once again for asking.
Herbie xxxxx
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So happy to heat that and you were very brave to have had a hysteroscopy there and then, I can barely handle a papsmear, well done, hope you can relax now.
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Thank you so much, believe me it took everything I have to go, I'm the same I hate getting smears done, but I do go, because it would probably cause me more anxiety if I didn't, but believe me I am the worst person when it comes to anything medical. Thank you though you are really sweet thinking of me xxxxx
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Now you have to try to learn from this experience.
You worked yourself up into a frenzy about nothing. Everyone around you said it was nothing. But you still were determined to believe it was terrible.
Next time something goes a bit off-kilter, remember back to this and how everything was fine.
I'm glad it went OK for you and now you need to move on and do something interesting and/or exciting.
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Thank you sue, yes I will learn from this plus I'm going to get cbt therapy, I'm still a little nervous waiting for the results, but I'm like this when I'm waiting for my smear results, most people probably think I over reacted, but in my head I could only think it was bad, it's so hard when you are wired that way, hopefully therapy will help me greatly.
Thanks Herbie xxxx
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Good news Herbie !- and as your doctor said, nothing to worry about at all.
I'm glad you are taking steps to help yourself over the way your mind went during the situation. At some point life, as I said earlier, we all will have to face 'something' and need to find or build the skills to get through that.
Can I make a suggestion? that you also go and update your threads on No More panic, particularly the last one you started the day before your tests. There is a lady there asking about you and the results. I also replied to you in detail there, but knew to come here to see how you'd got on. Its always nice for others to have 'closure' when they've been replying and following your story. :) :) :)
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Thanks charys, I did update no more panic, obviously I won't be completely reassured until the biopsy result are back, but I'm coping a lot better, I'm going to get cbt and my work also have a counselling service which I'm going to take up, I'm so glad I had you ladies to talk to, I'm sure you all probably felt I was over reacting, but that how my mind is wired I focus on the negative, but I'm going to get as much help as I can to get over this, sometime I feel really selfish I know there are children and adults going through really tough illnesses and believe me you couldn't get a more caring person than me, so it's hard when I become so self centred, anyway thank you for your reply and hopefully we can keep chatting you have been a source of strength, thanks Herbie xxxx
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If you can't exert any self control for yourself, then do it for your poor daughters. You say you have already given one daughter health anxiety? You aren't born with health anxiety, it is a learned behaviour from people around you.
Also, it's actually incredibly unfair and very selfish for you to constantly check up on your other daughter when she goes out to a concert etc. You might think it demonstrates that you really care about her, but in fact it just demonstrates that you only care about easing your own peace of mind.
As the daughter of a Mum (who sounds very similar to you) I can promise you that your constant checking up makes your daughter feel frustrated and suffocated. It also makes her feel guilty and worried about you too. Why would you want to put all that on her shoulders? She's young, she shouldn't have the responsibility of knowing you are worried to death about her all the time.
My Mum passed away and if I'm totally honest, although I grieved deeply my main emotion was one of relief and freedom from her oppressive 'concern'.
I have daughter and I bury my fears and encourage them to be fierce and independent and to challenge themselves. I do this because I love them far more than I love myself, and want them to live happy lives free from the burdens my Mum gave me.
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My Mum often tells others that she 'gave my daughters wings to fly' but she did fill my head with worries whilst I was growing up :-\ and now frustrates me by not listening to anyone, other than herself. [long story short]. It was "what if the car breaks down/or the driver isn't insured/of there is an accident" ...... no phones in those days, it was a phone box or nowt! or the Police at the door.
I always worry if Himself is away. The best time of day is when his key turns in the door and he is safely home. If he is travelling he rings me once he gets to his destination and then gets on with enjoying himself. If he is going to be late leaving somewhere or there is traffic 'ahead' he will pull into the Services to let me know. That way I worry less ::). I worked in an A&E dept. for many years so I saw it all ::). I was already a worrier ....
I agree with GRL - anxiety is a learnt response from those around us, my panic began within hours of my being born so no amount of CBT helped :'( - maybe talk to your family about how you can let go and how they can help by keeping in touch to ease your feelings. Negativity feeds itself - if it remains in my head I can cope but if it becomes physical then panic sets in.
It will take practice, a good therapist will give the client HOMEWORK ;D ..........
The biopsy result will take how long?
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Dealing with this type of anxiety is horrible. I have a son in college and I have shielded him from my anxiety right from the time he was born. I did not want it to affect him and I feel strongly, as a mother, that it is best to keep all of it to myself. I would cry in my bedroom, have panic attacks in the bedroom or bathroom or in my car, etc. I never let him see me like this. I would be horrified if my anxiety affected him and made him have anxiety of his own.
It has been a very lonely and private battle for me. But I think we need to give our children the best start in life and let them know that they are strong, capable, and that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. If my son occasionally saw me looking sad or distressed, I told him I'd had a bad day at work or something like that. My mother was plagued by extreme anxiety and depression and it certainly affected me deeply. I vowed as a teen, that I would never subject my son to my anxiety.
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We also need to let others know that it's OK to be scared, worried, anxious - i.e. exam/driving test nerves, talking in front of people - because these types of experience affect most people so methods to cope can be encouraged.
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Yes, I agree! I have told my son that being nervous for his driving test (few years ago) was totally normal. Or being nervous for his final exams in college is also normal. These are normal and expected times of anxiety for all of us. But as far as health anxiety, I do not talk about it with him and don't plan to.
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Whereas men don't go to the GP etc., they would rather discuss football with their mates then health problems ::) so there are certain issues that men should be encouraged to discuss: depression, suicide, prostate, testical care .......
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Lord knows I have been crippled with anxiety these last few years thanks to my hormones, as anyone who has followed my posts here knows. But my children are blissfully unaware of what I suffered through. I genuinely couldn't bear to have frightened them with it. I just couldn't.
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Gypsyroselee, how dare you say I'm a selfish person, I'm sorry I suffer with health anxiety, I check my daughter to make sure she is ok, and she knows that, any mother that doesn't care where her daughter is is abnormal, and a bad mother, I love my girls more than life it's self so please do not say I don't care, do you know what it is like to have health anxiety, no I don't think so, so please don't judge people that have it, maybe you should research mental health problems, but maybe you are to selfish to do that, you sound like someone who doesn't give a hoot about anyone else, I care deeply about my family, my friends, my pets etc, if anything I'm to caring, I adore animals( vegetarian) always trying to rescue a poor animal, work with children who adore me because I'm a nice, kind human being, cry when I see a elderly people lonely and do what I can to help, so stop making me feel like I'm a awful human being just because I suffer from health anxiety, you really need do do your research.
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So you children have never asked what's wrong with you? Please if you have nothing constructive to say don't bother replying
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I knew when something was wrong with either of my parents, I don't think that any child isn't aware. Whether they will ask .......... I would be told 'it's adults problems' or similar. "Don't worry your tiny head". Children are aware of undercurrents, often more than parents know.
But if a parent appears to be coping, then a child won't ask because children are by nature selfish. Or they may be too scared to make enquiries.
Health anxiety covers many situations. I have hidden my problems, people I worked closely with told me later that they never realised I was ill. It was easier to act 'within normal limits' than try to explain.
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Do you know how many years I have thought mental health at least 32, way before my children were born I didn't choose to be this way, I know people are a lot worse of than me, but I have a condition that cannot be helped I'm dealing with it getting help etc, I don't want sympathy I want people to realise that mental health is a real and debilitating illness, I wouldn't chose to be this way, unless you have been in this situation you don't know how it feels and it makes me mad I'm not making it up or pretending I have a real illness, sorry if that offends.
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Health anxiety is a horrible, horrible thing. :-\ It's hard to explain to others, and really difficult for others to understand unless they've experienced it.
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Thank you weather girl that exactly how I feel, I try not to be this why, but I can't help it and certainly do chose it, unless you suffer with it no one understands xxx
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I too have had health anxiety for around 20 years and anxiety since childhood. It does run in my family and I feel very guilty that I seem to have now passed it onto my children. I wish I had managed to keep it secret from them.
Herbie...perhaps now you have joined this site rather than only posting about your own worries perhaps reply to some other members problems or join in on some of the light hearted threads.
As has been mentioned you are posting these same problems on the No More Panic website and so you are constantly seeking reassurance which is very unhelpful. Plus it seems you don't even listen to the reassurance or then post about another health problem.
I would advise to take a break from here and no more panic. The weather is going to be nice. Get out and enjoy it. Give yourself a task of not posting or seeking reassurance for at least a week.
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Herbie, I reached a turning point about 10 years ago after suffering since my teens (going on 35 years now). I realized I HAD to do something. I'd been to therapists over the years, and it helped to where I would have fairly long, good stretches. But in the long run, it was not sufficient for the intractable nature of what I was dealing with.
I then went on low dose medication and it has made a world of difference. It truly saved me. I still continued with therapy and did go to a CBT therapist. That is work, (the homework that CLKD mentions!) and I try to utilize the tools and use them as instructed. I definitely falter with that, as it takes a lot of consistent effort. I know how difficult the struggle is. I kept it mostly to myself all these years as I knew no one wanted to listen to it (they mostly wouldn't understand anyway :() and I didn't want to damage relationships, etc. But that's just me and how I dealt with it. We each have to find our own path. :hug:
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Weather girl that's really sad that you can't talk to no one, it's not fair that people just ignore mental illness, you didn't chose to be this way, more needs to be done about it, I'm not ashamed anymore to say I have a problem, and if people don't like it tough it's beginning to make me mad and there's not a lot that does that xx
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Do you know what I'm just deleting my account because clearly no one gives a ---- , thanks for nothing
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....... so Herbie: I find that response offensive - you seem to forgetten the support that you have had from here? Hopefully your proposed CBT will help.
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I'm not talking about the ladies that have been supportive, I've even thanked each and everyone of you in a post, what I find offensive is people like gypsyrosielee, banging on about me not giving a crap about my daughters, how does she know what it's like unless she has suffered mental health issues, she does not have the right to comment, like I don't have the right to comment on other illnesses that I have never had and hopefully will never get, I have been very grateful for all the support I have received on here, but why certain people feel the need to bring up the fact that I worry about my daughter going to concerts in this day and age is not relevant to any conversation I have started, anyway thank you to the ladies that have been supportive and the ones who have nothing constructive to say just leave me alone, I'm sorry if I offend you.
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I'm really sorry that you have been hurt by some comments Herbie but, to be fair, I'm not sure that it was immediately clear that you have a mental illness as well as anxiety. Mental illness can cause anxiety but whereas, although difficult, it is possible to hide your feelings from your loved ones while suffering from panic and anxiety this mostly becomes impossible when also dealing with a mental health illness. It is usual to worry about our children when they begin to go to places on their own but it is also usual to keep those intense feelings from them in order not to fuel their own anxiety. It is possible to do this if you are suffering from anxiety and panic - it is not, in my experience, possible to do this when you are also dealing with a mental illness.
I'm not sure that I was aware that your anxiety was fuelled by a mental illness and maybe GypsyRoseLee wasn't either?
I hope that you are getting the appropriate help and support with the underlying mental health issues and continue to feel supported on here.
Taz x
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I have suffered mental illness from the age of 13, I've been on Prozac for 20 years, I've had numerous breakdowns, I've struggled on and off for years, I've had good times in between, but every few years I have a relapse, I suffer with health anxiety, ocd, and I've also had depression, so to be told I'm selfish is really hurtful, I've bought my girls up to be caring, loving, hard working, my eldest daughter is now a mum to a beautiful baby boy and she is a fantastic mum, I have alway protected my girls as much as I could and kept them safe and thankfully so far it's worked, I'm not ashamed of being over protective, I've let them lead there own lives, even though it's been hard, but I've never stopped them doing anything, unlike my mum I was never allowed to go anywhere, but I still love and respect my mum and do not hold any grudges, she is a great mum and we are very close, so as you can see when people comment about things the do not know about, it's really hurtful.
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Hi Herbie don't close your account here.I think by the very fact you have suffered from these things you will make a much valued contributor to the forum when you find yourself in a better place and your feeling a bit stronger,it's good you've reacted as it shows me you still have a bit of gumption in you so use that same spirit to get yourself in a good place away from negativity,I won't bore you with my story but we've all been there it's how you come through it that's important,keep reading and posting and as suggested join in the light hearted section with us it can be quite addictive having fun with us lol.take care xx
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I agree. Well put Daisydot.
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Herbie, I am very familiar with mental health issues having suffered with severe PND when my first child was born, then years later I suffered a resurgence of the same level of depression and anxiety thanks to the peri menopause. At or point it was so bad that I was singed off work for 2 months and was visited by the Crisis Team several times. At no point were my children aware that I was suffering, all they knew was that I was having a break from work and that DH and I went for an awful lot of very long walks. If they had been adults I would have been (a little) more open with them.
Truly loving your child isn't smothering them with excessive concern. Truly loving them is making sure you never burden them, never mind what it costs you. You said yourself that you gave your DD her health anxiety. I agree you had no choice in learning your health anxiety behaviours from your own mother. But you did have a choice about passing them onto your DD in turn.
Shedding tears at the plight of animals or the elderly doesn't prove you are a good or caring person. It just means you cry easily.
It looks like you have been given an awful lot of helpful and thoughtful advice and reassurance. Most of which you seem to have not taken on board. You appear to yet offer any support or infact any interest in anyone else's problems on here, other than your own? You have done the same on NMP too. At the first hint of my raised eyebrow at your behaviour you immediately become aggressive and threaten to delete your account.
This isn't the behaviour of a mature adult, who selflessly thinks of others.
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I couldn't agree more GypsyRoseLee.
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Ladies thank you for all your help Herbie xxxxxx
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I would just like to say i suffer with health anxiety and herbie I messaged you privately giving you support. I have been and still go through it every time i get a different pain.
It is dreadful and i have put my husband through hell with it, my son has seen me suffereing my mum and my friends! All who have been supportive but it doesnt change your mindset the only person to do that is you.
My father suffered nervous breakdowns when i was younger, i was never privy to any of it growing up it was kept from us but i still suffer with health anxiety and both my parents do suffer anxiety. I dont remember ever seeing my parents worrying like me when i was a child. It is in your make up that i do believe, my son is a anxious person but so am i and so was his dad. He is a worrier but we talk a lot and he feels safe.
The more we talk about it the more health anxiety will get accepted
Herbie good luck with everything and as i said the cbt will make you think a little clearer about your thoughts will not cure it, its in your make up
Mazza xx
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Daisydot - your post was lovely and very compassionate . Well said xx
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And so Herbie will move on to another forum, never taking responsibility for herself and her behaviour - and never giving support, only taking and taking and taking it.
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Are you serious why are you being so unkind gypsyrosielee, are you just nasty by nature, I would never treat another human being with such disrespect, I'm always helping people with there problems and giving advice, you cannot judge someone when you do not even know them, maybe you need lessons on how to treat people, you are lucky that you are not speaking to someone who is right on the edge, because believe me you could tip them over it, I'm not going to other forums I am taking resposability for my anxiety, I hope you can live with the fact that your advice is useless to anyone going through anxiety, I really think maybe you should educate yourself and stop dishing out insults, and start being a it more compassionate, I don't need lessons in that, I have more of that than most people I know, once again keep your insults to yourself.
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Oh and by the way you are no different to a online bully.
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GIRLS! Enough already.
I was fully aware of my Dad's nervous breakdowns as we took him to and from Hospital as well as visiting regularly. However, it wasn't until 5 years ago that I became aware of the reasons :'( :'( ........ now I can't explain to him that I know the ins and outs more than whislt I was growing up because he died in 2006.
ENOUGH! go back to the thread. The written word is static.