Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Kwebst on January 23, 2018, 08:14:02 AM
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Feel so low and so fed up crying. I just see no end to this misery. My husband works all the hours god sends and my teen has issues with depression and sleep. He's missed weeks of school. Having to be supportive to everyone but I've nothing left. I'm on femseven and been on 40mg Citalopram for 6 weeks now. Signed off work but feel so low I want to run away. I'm miserable and sick of pretending.
Sorry, just needed a moan.
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Moan away! It's good to let it out it's not easy to bring up teens in this era I have lots of grandchildren so I know it's a completely different set of pressures from when I brought my children up I think it's so much harder for mums these days.
You'll draw on that inner strength that we all have but don't realise it and life does get better but it's a slow process.Do a tick list for your day and give yourself targets and sometimes that helps when you look back at it and think you know I've not had such a bad day today I've done a lot on that list.Make “meâ€time go to Zumba classes and lose yourself in the fun of the dance and the company their not costly once a week and get the juices flowing so to speak ;D.we all do our best to get through the days and remember each day is different.have a good day today you deserve it xx
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Thanks Daisydot. I'm so tired of faking being strong to support everyone else. I just feel broken inside. I want it all to go away. Thought I'd be better than this after 6 weeks on AD. I know if I wasn't peri I'd cope so much better. I hate my life just now.
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Kwebst - I can so relate to what you are saying - I've been there so many times. You are feeling totally overwhelmed and alone. You are doing the right things but you just need somethings good to happen - something to make you feel valued and positive about the future. Is there any small thing you could do ‘just for you' - something you really enjoy?
January is tough - we've had a particularly horrid winter so far. If the ADs are not lifting you mood by now, then you may need to go back to have this reviewed.
Sometimes it's about reviewing your life as well, prioritise YOU - you are the most important person.
WE are here to support you and many of us really do understand from personal experience.
BE selfish and do somethings for YOU. DG x
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You moan! You may not be taking enough AD. Sometimes it can take a few months B4 real benefit is felt.
What support is your teen getting for his depression? There are various groups for his age range - do a google for local MIND too.
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Last thing I want to do is change AD - it was 2 weeks of nightmare side effects getting on them. I'm hoping it's just a bad couple of days but it's horrible. My teen has had a couple of private counselling sessions so he thinks he's “fixed†now. Problem is his sleep pattern is all over the place and he's getting crippling headaches as a result. He's exhausted. The dr won't give us anything to help him sleep as a result he's often up to a ridiculous time. His sleep pattern is upside down. My head tells me time will sort us both out - I just have a hard time believing it and I'm sick of waiting. Only positive is both my doctor and work have been wonderfully supportive.
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Your teen needs to take control os his sleep patterns. Is he spending a lot of time on gadgets? In touch with who knows who until the early hours? There should be a counsellor in school for him to talk with. Do have a look-see at the various young people groups for depression and anxiety, print off and give it to him. He is more likely to contact on his own rather than feeling 'pushed' ;-). Lack of sleep can destroy our health!
He's finding his way. Which may not include you even if he would really like your input ::).
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Wise words CLKD. 👍 He's is trying. Comes off his Xbox early and winds down. Has supper and has even taken up listening to meditation music before trying to sleep. School have been great but it will be weeks before he can see the school councillor. I know I can't fix him, Ijust need to be there to coach him to fix himself.
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Thanks. You are on the Right Track! I find my evening bath with Very Good Book and cuppa useful, though when depression and anxiety were at their worst I couldn't settle long enough to hardly run the water in :-\.
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Theres nothing worse as a mum when your kids are unhappy. I had loads of ups and downs with both my daughters health in their teenage years ... and its exhausting !! I truly sympathise. I was put on an antidepressant because i was so low and that stemmed from a feeling of not being able to take away their upsets. I realize now that i was expecting the impossible from my self . And also trying to put a brave face on things for them ! It was all too exhausting . We are all in a different place now ..things are not perfect for them but they have more knowledge about their health problems and try to manage as best as.Time will sort things out xx
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I think that many people feel the need to 'fix' others. I was like that for years. Now if someone asks for advice, I find the necessary agencies etc., pass them over then allow them to get on with it. Otherwise I wear my brain out over-thinking.
I think that people in the West are judgemental too, so people fear letting their guard down :-\, don't we all have a telephone voice?
How R we all this morning?
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Better day today. My son had a good day and managed into school therefore I was much better. Drives me nuts how my moods are affected by how well he is. He's had 2 bad days , so I ended up having 2 bad days. It's crazy and unhealthy for me. I know I cannot fix him or control how happy he is - so why can't I take a step back and let him get on with it! Think my “mummy mode†has gone into total overdrive and I have lost perspective. Nellie noo - I can so relate. I am totally mentally exhausted with trying to help everyone. Logic tells me things will get better, and they have in part but I just have to keep telling myself regularly until I believe it! 😆 By the way, I've been seeing a councillor-she says be like a plane- put your own oxygen mask on first then the kids ie. fix yourself then support them. Food for thought. 🤔
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Of course your are going to be effected by how well he is,or how well he isnt ... thats exactly like me ....and so many other mums ! You love him and you are a bloody good mum, and you put him first ! I couldnt change that mind set and i still cant ... i dont think you have lost your perspective at all. Just be a bit kinder to yourself .. you are giving your all... but even when things get better or change which i am sure they will, there will still be blips and the ups and downs of family life. Just Take care of yourself xx
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Just to say this will pass and the worst thing is feeling it will never. After three years of peri one thing I have learnt is that moods come and go. I have felt quite ' normal' for a few weeks; full of plans and to do lists and even foolishly maybe thought 'this is it, I'm over the worst'. Then bam last few days the teafull, paranoid, restless, bad digestion, anxious; all has come crashing back. I have found that no matter what I try our or take I have these low dips every 4 weeks; they are truely hard to get yourself out of. I am making myself go out of the house and pick litter in a local lane today because honestly I just fell like staying in bed. I try to get angry with it.
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Because you care. Also, do you worry that your son's situation may worsen, that maybe he won't be open about it or that you won't notice? We can't be on top of the World all the while - apparently ::) - but to strike a happy medium would be nice.
Think about what his 'bad' day/s actually entail? Is it your perception because you are alert or is he dealing with issues better than you do? Could you fix them anyway? Does he have a teacher if it's school work to talk to?
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Thanx guys, it's nice to come on here and be understood! It's tough being a mum sometimes! I can't help putting my son first but I'm realising I need to put myself first sometimes too and let my son take more responsibility for himself. It's hard learning to let go. Funnily enough, that's what one on my friends told me when I had my son. She's much older than I and said the hardest part of bringing up children is learning to let go.
CLKD I care/worry too much- about everyone close to me, it's a bad trait.😆 i can't fix his issues but can point him in the right direction. It's so tiring.
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Hi Kwebst,
I took Citalopram 40mg for a long time, I'm now down to 30mg. It does take a while to get into your system. I know they recommend that you take it in the morning but I couldn't tolerate it all in one go. I had terrible nausea, dry mouth,etc. My GP suggested that I split the dose, half in the morning and half at bedtime. This worked better for me.
Hope you feel well so, I totally empathise with you as I feel the same.
Shellb
xXx
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DH has wanted to go travelling - at the weekend he picked a town we haven't visited for 2/3 years. He picked a day. I told him that there is a Street Market on that day every week. "Maybe look up on the internet to see whether it is still held, as it is where we park the car."
We arrived in said market town: "There's a market on!" and a look of incredulity from DH >:(. Then he was muttering a lot about 'why have a market where there is a car park' .......... I felt like kicking him and shouting "I told you so!" :-\
There aren't any other places to park other than Hotels in that town, the nearest is a 25 mins. walk away.
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We have had problems with the wood burner .... lots of smoke belching out of the box. Last year I suggested that he wasn't lighting it correctly and got shouted down, he was really nasty. :'(. He did it again last week and last night :o. He decided that there is something stuck in the chimney which was recently swept.
I caught him reading the Manual this morning. Yep, he's been doing it 'wrong'. Now Sorted >:(