Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Ruby67 on January 21, 2018, 03:49:20 PM
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Hi, first time posting. I'm just wondering if anyone else has anger issues in peri. Im 51, still have periods but have been having a few symptoms for a couple of years now, insomnia, painful breasts etc. Recently, I've been getting extremely angry, to the point I've had massive arguments with loved ones which are really upsetting me but I can't seem to stop myself ranting. Then I go into a massive downer and cry all the time. Anyone feel the same:(
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Hi Ruby,
I'm usually a question asker on here rather than an advice giver but I just wanted to say that I could have written your post prior to starting HRT minus the arguing and crying. It's horrible isn't it 😩 I found I just felt ANGRY the whole time for no reason, especially driving or being out and about if people were getting in my way etc... I used to be soooo laid back before peri 😢. HRT has greatly improved my breast pain, I sleep all night with waking at 4am like I was, but I'm on such a low dose of Estradiol sadly although I thought my anger issues had resolved I think a lot of it must have been placebo for me in the first few months.
You've come to the right place though. There are loads of really supportive knowledgeable people on here who will give you great advice. I've found that talking about how agitated I feel at really helps. My poor husband now understands that if I'm snappy it's just hormones or lack of, and I still love him lots. Best wishes xx
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Yep. I could fly at a moment's notice. Things that wouldn't bother me in my menstruating years would suddenly become a HUGE issue 2/3 days prior to a bleed. HORMONES >:( ::).
Eating properly can reduce this somewhat. Browse round. Make notes ;-)
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Hi Aggie and CLKD, thanks so much for ur replies. It helps to know im not alone and u understand how I feel. Im usually a happy person, outwith a few days pmt mood swings but this has thrown me, I feel out of control. Im seeing GP this week as I take thyroid meds and maybe these need to be adjusted too. I'll do as u say and educate myself on here and start looking at my diet too. Thanks for listening.
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Let us know how you get on. Maybe take a list to your GP?
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Hi Ruby yes I could also have written your post. And thinking about it makes me realise I'd felt like this for years and was probably edging towards menopause without knowing it. I had lots of irrational anger at minor things - a lot of it targeted at my husband who is patient to a degree but also fights back when he feels I'm being unfair. The worst thing was I was like a dog with a bone. I couldn't let things go and couldn't forgive what I felt was an attack on me. Now I'm 4 months on HRT and realise I'm so much calmer. I'm laughing again and taking a joke instead of being offended and angry. I don't think he believes I'm not going to fly into a rage at something insignificant again. This is an interesting journey and demands forgiveness on both sides. Keep going Ruby and I hope you find the right solution for you xxx
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Don't get me started on how often I shout 'at' the TV :o
Prozac made me angry too :cuss:
Once the bleed began, the anger would disappear
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Good idea, I'll write down my symptoms and questions coz no doubt I'll start bubbling and forget everything as soon as I walk in the door lol.
And yes Bettythecat, dog with a bone is a perfect description of me right now. So unlike me as I can usually brush silly unimportant things off coz its wasted energy...instead I'm having a full scale rant about them. I'm exhausted lol. Thanks again x
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It's soooo great to know you're not the only one feeling angry huh? I'm quite an open person and discuss meno symptoms with peers and of the myriad of symptoms that can be experienced, anger doesn't seem to be one of the more common ones (unless I haven't read enough posts on here?)
I have a small understanding of the workings of CBT (the go to therapy these days for extreme emotions) but even that doesn't help. Even an unexpected noise can make my blood boil! No rationalising that! 😩.
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Yeah Aggie it doesn't seem to be as common as other symptoms thats why I plucked up the courage to post my first question coz thought it might just be me turning into a crazy angry person >:(
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Well done for plucking up the courage Ruby... it's so hard to accept that in a sense we've lost some of who we were and deal with the fact that HRT may or may not alleviate all of our symptoms (in my case not) and ironically it's the one I really hoped would improve, and temporarily I thought it had, but no such luck unfortunately - but thankful for better sleep and improvement on a few other fronts. 👍😄
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Hi yes i often feel the same , some days i probably fly off the handle more then i should , but alot is also to do with others at home not helping out with housework etc , i seem much calmer now the last 2 weeks everyone seems to be helping out but i wonder if the feeling on edge all the time will come back ???
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My mother was a crazy angry person - it is probably one of the unspoken drivers behind me taking hrt :-X
As well as listing symptoms, it is a good idea to keep a diary of symptoms and moods. It put it all into context so that you can step back and see it.
One of the things with menopause is that when the bad symptoms pass, you forget they are there, and vice versa.
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Honestly cant believe the change in me, I'm saying things out loud to people that I would never have said before and its not nice...I dont like people like me lol. Im going to GP tomorrow, hopefully I can get some help with the symptoms. Thanks for everyone's replies, its good to share 😃
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I remember Simon [who was badly burned in the disaster on the Sir Galahad] saying that his Mum 'could make toast with her breath'. Yep. So could I at times ::) [why can't I remember his surname :'(]
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Hahahahaha...Weston by the way
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Oh thanks! I've his books on the shelf but am too idle to get up to look :-\
I spit bricks ;-)
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Cant believe I actually remembered his name when I cant remember a damn thing..weird the strange things u retain 😦
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I can still string words together - they may not make a lot of sense though ;D
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Hi Ruby
This is exactly what happened to me for a couple of years before my last period at the age of 50. I had never experienced PMT in any real sense and my cycle was regular and without problems but I suddenly began having enormous mood swings and incredible pre menstrual anger which scared me and certainly scared my family! I would be very over sensitive and almost out of control followed by desperate weeping for hours. My period brought some relief but it was a frightening time and I do sympathise. At the time I assumed it was due to a stressful job but looking back I do wish that peri menopause had occurred to me and that I had sought help.
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Hi, yes that sounds so like me 😦 tho I have always had PMT but never as severe as this. U probably thought the same thing as me, that coz we were still having regular periods then it wasnt menopause related.
Well latest with me is I went to menopause clinic yesterday and had a long chat with GP who was very nice. She suggested I get the Mirena coil fitted (which I did there and then 😮). She said that because my symptoms are at their worst when I ovulate and just before a period that this coil wld hopefully stop my periods and then hopefully I wouldnt have such bad symptoms. If after 3 months I dont feel any better she said she would give me a small amount of oestrogen. I'll try anything to be honest so fingers crossed 🙏😃
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So good that you have sought help and fingers crossed that it will make you feel better. My GP wanted to give me anti depressants but I wasn't remotely depressed (just murderous) and I don't think peri menopause was something she considered either. I think it's really important that we educate young women so that they understand that peri menopause can be indicated by emotional changes not just physical ones. I had my last period on my 50th birthday, completely regular and normal cycle until that day and then I never had another one and got my equilibrium back. Hot flushes are another story!
I wish I had known more before I began on the journey, the trouble is we wait until we are having problems to get informed!
Good luck!