Menopause Matters Forum

Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Mindfulmoomins on January 01, 2018, 12:26:41 PM

Title: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Mindfulmoomins on January 01, 2018, 12:26:41 PM
Hi everyone,

I just thought I'd start a thread for anyone struggling to tap into to get some support.

I am doing everything I can to help myself but am struggling with low mood. I have exercised this morning and am going to see my best friend today.

Coping with peri and the depression and anxiety it seems to have brought with it often feels like the hardest thing I have ever faced.

I struggle at this time of year too.

Lots of love and hugs to everyone who is finding this journey difficult.

Xx

Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: CLKD on January 01, 2018, 12:41:42 PM
Tnx.
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Butterfly22 on January 01, 2018, 01:18:05 PM
I can sympathise with this as its been one long struggle, it's like swimming against the tide.
Last new year I was in bed on my own full of cold and yep same agin this year.
Sending hugs xx
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Daisydot on January 01, 2018, 01:46:58 PM
Happy new year ladies and thank you for the kind words of support.I think with this hormone thing we isolate ourselves too much and even the thought of socialising holidays etc give us the terrors it's a long old battle but we can overcome them one at a time.i just take each day as it comes and try not to think too far ahead but any “event” time is a nightmare I def agree with that.
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Mindfulmoomins on January 01, 2018, 03:04:32 PM
I'm finding something really strange. When I am socialising I can feel almost normal. I don't understand it.

Usually I love being on my own but since peri it feels almost dangerous to be alone as my thinking goes round in circles.

Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Butterfly22 on January 01, 2018, 03:48:52 PM
Maybe it's anxiety? Xx
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: MIS71MUM on January 01, 2018, 04:39:35 PM
Can I join too?
I agree with you MM, when I'm socialising, I feel better as my brain isn't constantly thinking and analysing. I suppose socialising is being in the moment which is part of living Mindfully.
I also used to love being alone and pottering but I hate it now.
It's a funny old game isn't it?
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Emerald2017 on January 01, 2018, 05:03:38 PM
Hi Mindfull! I can relate! I feel tired and with low mood all the time. When I socialize I feel almost normal but it s difficult to find the courage to go out with friends. I just want to go to bed, I cry a lot and I spent my holidays at home. You are not alone! I will return at work tomorrow and I wish to feel more normal! Take care! 🌹

Xx
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Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: racjen on January 01, 2018, 05:05:03 PM
Yup, I'm in there with you all - bloody awful, never been a big fan of New Year at the best of times and today really has been the pits. Anxiety seems to've settled down (fingers crossed) only to be replaced by the bleakest depression, partly just the time of year I know, but whatever the cause it's just miserable. Went for a lovely walk by the sea with my two girls but was barely aware of my surroundings as so stuck in my own tiny claustrophobic head. Thank god they seem to be able to cope with me bursting into tears every 5 mins. Happy New Year to you all, let's hope it bring some improvement for us all xxx
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Daisydot on January 01, 2018, 05:19:37 PM
It's not the actual socialising it's the getting up to go to the socialisin* that terrorises me.like you say I'm great when I actually manage to get there but the days leading up to it are dredful,even things like a docs apppointment.i have one this Thursday and already I'm getting panicky at the thought of it,it's all this confrontation with the gps that does it with me too.I now know what route or regime I'd like to be following but it's like asking them for the world.i genuinely believe that no they don't know better than me and should be referring me to a menopause expert not fiddling around with guesswork.everything I've done and researched on my own has improved my health in spite of them not because of them,it's a constant battle I'm hoping this new gp will be an improvement but dreading it all the same.happy new year ladies.xx
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Emerald2017 on January 01, 2018, 05:49:47 PM
Hi Daisy! I can understand! When I go at gyns I feel that something is wrong with me, that hrt is something very dangerous with strict time limits and I find myself apologizing for trying to feel normal again! Everyone says me something different, I'm so confused and I try to help myself by my own! I just to find my old self again! I cannot go on the way I feel now! Thanks for reading...🌹
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Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Daisydot on January 01, 2018, 06:01:18 PM
I'm 60 now emerald and have no hesitation using hrt,I really do think that the symptoms we go through are actually more damaging to us mentally and physically than the hrt could ever be.
I've followed the advice of quite a few gps much to my detriment so now I research and question everything they say and that's why I hate going because I hate confrontation I've turned into a proper chicken these days when I used to consider myself a very strong intelligent person,it's very hard to stay rational when crazy things are going on with your mind and body but I think if you can rationalise things and say ok I've taken this as far as I can medically then look at other things like diet lifestyle support network and other options b6 educating yourself as much as possible then you can get through it and come out the other end stronger than ever and look forward to enjoying life again.keep positive,it will happen xx
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Salad on January 01, 2018, 06:06:55 PM
Nice thread  :)

It feels wrong to be miserable at this time of year so sometimes that smile goes on even if you feel rubbish.

I'm ticking off the hours to be able to ring for a doctors appointment in the morning.
Having put all my symptoms down to poor Oestrogen levels, I found out Friday I am Vitamin D deficient. It is more common than you would think- 3 of my friends have also got it!
The symptoms - dizzy, headache, nausea, digestion issues, muggy head, sweats, earache, flat mood, fatigue, palpitations and the worst at the moment painful joints and muscles literally overwhelming.

Might be worth putting it on your list of things to get checked out this year.

Thanks for listening - I'm off to put my smile back on.  ;D
Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Mindfulmoomins on January 01, 2018, 06:17:17 PM
I can relate to so much of what has been said.

I went round to my lovely best friend's house and in between acting normal I broke down in sobs about how bad I feel. She is so sorry that she can't make it better and it made her cry too. I wiped her tears away and felt awful that she was crying. She said she just wants me to be ok.

I am going to see the GP tomorrow as I have been feeling quite desperate. I know rationally it is the stress chemicals and maybe depression and anxiety making me feel so bad but I am struggling to keep going.

I hope they have some idea of something that might help while I wait for the HRT to start helping. I even doubt that will work at some moments. I am only 16 days in though.

I am already on an ad and amitriptyline which makes me worried that i've exhausted all avenues.

I will take a temazapam tonight so that I can sleep. I feel embarrassed taking all these things and temazapam I know is just for emergencies. I feel like I don't want any more drugs but something is just not working at the moment and I need to get through this.

Thank you for listening.

Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Emerald2017 on January 01, 2018, 06:28:30 PM
Thanks for your advice Daisy! I feel that I'm not alone! I said to my gyn that it's unfair to have POF and to have no estrogen for the rest of my life! I have to replace it to feel as the other women at my age! He agreed but he said that it's no so simple and that I have to be informed for the risks. I felt so disappointed and that the breast cancer will be a reality for me. I return home crying. I insist that I know my body better and I'll probably need estrogen...forever??? 🌹
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Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Emerald2017 on January 01, 2018, 07:02:23 PM
Hi again Mindful!
I can absolutely feel you, I feel that my friends don't recognize me anymore!
I was so vivid, happy with full of energy and optimism! I am the opposite now, I feel that my life has no meaning anymore, I'm tired all the time complaining for everything and I want my old self back. I cry a lot, I remember things that make me happy and I try to find the courage to go on...we have to go on! I love my clothes, my shoes but I have no energy to go out and feel that my appearance is different...I really don't know what is real anymore...
Thank you for listening too! 🌹
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Title: Re: For anyone struggling - a support thread
Post by: Spangles on January 01, 2018, 09:07:01 PM
Hi ladies,
Thanks for starting this thread up Midfulmoomin.
I feel exactly the same, hate my own company, too much thinking time, not always good! I've not had the best Christmas if I'm honest, what with anxiety, etc. I'm back at work tomorrow, I need to be back in my routine but don't feel strong, it's terrible what peri does to you, I'm just not me anymore. I just hope I find me again when it's all finished.
Sending love and hugs to you all.
Shellb
xXx