Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Emerald2017 on December 06, 2017, 05:35:20 PM
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Hi! I'd like to share my thoughts with you ladies. I'm depressed due my early menopause (41 years old), I stay home crying all day, I'm afraid to look my face to the mirror, I see my body to change...I hate all these...my mum says that everything will be ok, I feel isolated and very very sad. I'm on hrt, it helps with my symptoms but I cannot cope emotionally. I feel old before my time...I feel too young to face all these...any ideas? Is an early menopause a cause for premature aging? Thank you! :'(
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You are sad. That can make us seem older than we are.
Have you looked round the Daisy web-site? There are details above as well as 'treatments' in the green banner. Do you have children already or are you mourning the loss of opportunity?
:bighug:
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Thank you for replying! I'm childfree but I think that it was my choice. You are right, our sadness makes us look older. I think that I lost my energy and my love for life. I'm afraid for aging, death, all these and I think that something terrible will happen. I feel that life has no meaning for me anymore. :'(
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Hi and welcome to MM Emerald2017
Premature meno is far more common than most people or even the medical profession want to recognise. You are not alone.
There are some poor girls who get their meno in their early 20s!!!!
My menopause started in my mid 30s, as did my mother's and grandmother's menopause - so it is in the family. My mother is 89 and is in good health and could easily pass for 80 or even younger. I am 61 and doing well thanks to HRT for many years - I have now stopped systemic HRT.
There are women in their mid 50s still getting periods but they look 65 - how well we cope with the menopause transition will vary greatly. I believe that age is very much an attitude of mind - having said this, the menopause does mess with our heads and it is common for many confident women to find they loose this confidence when meno hits.
Using HRT will help to protect your body from the damage that oestrogen deficiency can do so you should not think of yourself as ageing faster due to premature meno. Maintaining a good diet and exercise regime is vital, whether one has a premature meno or not. The way we age is also genetic - oestrogen doesn't necessarily make that much difference to the ageing process. A good diet with plenty of exercise is much more important to stave off premature ageing.
Clearly you feel a premature menopause is impacting badly on your whole life - I would suggest you get some counselling and CBT to help you come to terms with all this. BE glad that in this day and age, HRT is around to protect you.
What HRT are you on? Some HRTs can give low mood so maybe we can give you some advice regarding this?
DG x
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Hi Emerald2017
:welcomemm:
Sorry you are feeling so sad. DG has given you some very good advice.
Hopefully things will start to improve for you soon.
Lanzalover x
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Thank you for your kindness! I'm on cyclo progynova and I feel it's ok, my gyn insists on it. I asked him to try micronized progesterone and he said that it can be a choice for later. I'm not in UK. I m grateful for hrt cause I really don't know what can happen to our brains and our bodies without estrogen. My mum had her menopause at 46, she took tibolone and she said that menopause wasn't a big deal for her.
Premature meno is far moreHi and welcome to MM Emerald2017
Premature meno is far more common than most people or even the medical profession want to recognise. You are not alone.
There are some poor girls who get their meno in their early 20s!!!!
My menopause started in my mid 30s, as did my mother's and grandmother's menopause - so it is in the family. My mother is 89 and is in good health and could easily pass for 80 or even younger. I am 61 and doing well thanks to HRT for many years - I have now stopped systemic HRT.
There are women in their mid 50s still getting periods but they look 65 - how well we cope with the menopause transition will vary greatly. I believe that age is very much an attitude of mind - having said this, the menopause does mess with our heads and it is common for many confident women to find they loose this confidence when meno hits.
Using HRT will help to protect your body from the damage that oestrogen deficiency can do so you should not think of yourself as ageing faster due to premature meno. Maintaining a good diet and exercise regime is vital, whether one has a premature meno or not. The way we age is also genetic - oestrogen doesn't necessarily make that much difference to the ageing process. A good diet with plenty of exercise is much more important to stave off premature ageing.
Clearly you feel a premature menopause is impacting badly on your whole life - I would suggest you get some counselling and CBT to help you come to terms with all this. BE glad that in this day and age, HRT is around to protect you.
What HRT are you on? Some HRTs can give low mood so maybe we can give you some advice regarding this?
DG x
There are some poor girls who get their meno in their early 20s!!!!
My menopause started in my mid 30s, as did my mother's and grandmother's menopause - so it is in the family. My mother is 89 and is in good health and could easily pass for 80 or even younger. I am 61 and doing well thanks to HRT for many years - I have now stopped systemic HRT.
There are women in their mid 50s still getting periods but they look 65 - how well we cope with the menopause transition will vary greatly. I believe that age is very much an attitude of mind - having said this, the menopause does mess with our heads and it is common for many confident women to find they loose this confidence when meno hits.
Using HRT will help to protect your body from the damage that oestrogen deficiency can do so you should not think of yourself as ageing faster due to premature meno. Maintaining a good diet and exercise regime is vital, whether one has a premature meno or not. The way we age is also genetic - oestrogen doesn't necessarily make that much difference to the ageing process. A good diet with plenty of exercise is much more important to stave off premature ageing.
Clearly you feel a premature menopause is impacting badly on your whole life - I would suggest you get some counselling and CBT to help you come to terms with all this. BE glad that in this
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Hello Emerald 2017 and welcome to the forum.
I can understand your disappointment but Dancinggirl has given you some great advice and as an early meno lady herself she knows what she is talking about!
I don't think an early meno causes premature ageing if you are using HRT because your body is still getting all the necessary hormones, you are just taking them instead of making them yourself. Infact if you follow a healthy lifestyle you'll be doing better than most other people anyway!
I hope you begin to feel better soon.
Take care and keep posting.
K.
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Thank you Kathleen! Hope things go better! Nice to find the forum! It's relieving to share my feelings! I spent a lot of energy to find a gyn to give me hrt and to treat my early menopause. And my last said that I can have hrt for only 5 years!
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Hello again Emerald2017.
The ladies here will tell you that your gynae is wrong, you are entitled to HRT up to the average age of the menopause which is 51 and of course many of us use it well beyond that age so you can too! You may have to fight a little bit to get what you need but your health and well being are worth it.
Take care and keep posting.
K.
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My symptoms were too severe and I cannot function without hrt! My body doesn't produce any estrogen. I'm a cross fit athlete and have no belly fat. Maybe that makes my symptoms more dangerous for my health. I feel that I ll use hrt until I die.
K.
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Hi Emerald2107
I've just been reading your thread and can empathize with how you are feeling as I'm 40 and going through early menopause. The post from DG has given hope that it's not all that bad with hrt and we won't look and feel 90 at 50!
I hope you feel more positive about it soon.
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Thank you Staffymad! Nice to feel that we are not alone! :foryou:
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I went on hrt at 32 because my ovaries failed after my hysterectomy. Hrt gave me my life back but at 45 I went through it a 2nd (more natural ) time and I can totally relate to your post. I didn't recognise my self, skin sagging, grey look etc. I changed my hrt this year and I feel much better x
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Sorry to deal with menopause so young! Hope you are better now! I feel that's early menopause is so unfair! I feel old before my time and I m obsessed with how I look. I try to think positive but its very hard. I don't want my friends anymore, they don't understand! I just stay home crying, I'm afraid that when I'll go out, others will shock with my appearance, my mum says that everything seems the same but...I really don't know. I'm loosing my self... :'(
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Emerald2017 - the early meno has clearly been an awful shock to you. As an ex professional dancer myself, I can well imagine this has come as a shock. The HRt will compensate for the lack of natural oestrogen but for you a big hurdle is simply getting over this shock. Do seek help with this as you are far too young to let POF ruin your life.
I do wonder if the type of HRT you are on is perhaps not helping your mood - which HRT are you on? Are you on a sequential or Continuous HRT? What dose are you on? You also sound very depressed so I would also consider an AD/SRRI for a while to help you through, while you tackle this blow to your self esteem?
People will judge you on how you cope and adjust to the challenges in life - not the way you look. Embracing change, in my experience, is the only way to cope, as change is inevitable. If your friends don't understand or support you, then they are not true friends - you need to seek out more positive friendships. AT 61, I am appalled at what is happening to my body and face but I know I have to accept and move forward - life is too short to dwell on what can't be changed.
DG x
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I felt exactly like you, that I'd suddenly aged and quicker than everyone else and couldn't face people for fear of them thinking I'd let myself go. Replacing testosterone with my oestrogen has given a bit of confidence back, not like I was before, but better than I've been recently x
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Good point Annie0710 - Getting the right hormone balance is crucial - this is why Emerald2017 needs to tell us what HRT she is using etc. so she feels completely supported and can go forward more positively. Dg x
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Thank you very much for your advices!
Nice to hear from you both! I'm on cyclo progynova, 2mg estradiol and 0.5 norgestel. My gyn insists on it. I suggested to try micronized progesterone but he said that it's an option for later.
I'll try to cope with my life, I just not feel the same as before and it gives me a lot of pain.
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Emerald2017 - you do need HRT but I think you need to be on a different type of HRT. I suspect the progesterone in progyniva May be effecting your mood. There are different progesterones that may suit you better ( not just micronised progesterone ) and being on a sequential HRT may also make you feel better as well.
Can ask your GP to let you try something different? Femoston 2/10 has a kinder progesterone and this would also give a monthly bleed which might physiologically might make you feel better - for many women having a monthly bleed is important. DG x
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I'm on seq so I have a bleed every month. I'm not in UK and in my country it's very difficult to find a variety of hrt, unfortunately! I was thinking about Femoston but I cannot find it so easily! The mayority of gyns prescribe cyclo progynova as hrt because it's easier to find it or Qlaira.
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Try Qlaira - the progesterone is different so might be better. To be honest, if your ovaries have packed up completely (so you are not producing natural oestrogen yourself) you would probably be better on a true HRT. Where do you live?
Look under TREATMENTS - and look at what is in each of the different HRT types to see what is in them - perhaps print this information off so you can show this to the GP - you may be able to get the same things but under a different label name.
In my 40s I ddi very well on Oestrogel daily (one to two pumps per day) and Dydrogesterone (as pills) for 10 days each month. You might do well on Provera/Climanor(medroxyprogesterone) as an alternative progesterone.
Print off all sections so: Oestrogens, Progesterones, Peri meno HRTs and Post meno HRTS - one can pick various combinations from the oestrogen and progesterone sections.
I believe you are feeling a failure because you are having to use HRT??? You are clearly a healthy person if you do cross training and there is no reason you have to stop doing this type of exercise. What's happened to you is not unusual adn can happen to anyone - it's just one those things. HRT will protect you adn help you maintain your ability to do high levels exercise but you may have to tweak what you use till you find the regime that keeps you stable. AS someone who has trained hard, I do have to tell you that once you hit your 40s, heavy training does become much tougher anyway for everyone
DG x
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Thanks again dancing Girl! I'm from Greece and gyns are too afraid to prescribe hrt. Oestrogel doesn't exist in pharmacies in my country and I can only combine pills to find the correct but I'm a little scare. I had an "estrogen crash" a few months ago with very severe symptoms,as insulin intolerance, dry eyes, insomnia, muscle aches and brain fog. I thought that I had lupus or dementia. I lost my muscle mass and I couldn't go to gym cause I was feeling too tired. I feel like a failure cause I have to take hrt, you're right, it's difficult for me to accept it and I have a great difficult to handle aging and death. I'm sad and very afraid of breast cancer. I think that hrt is the only way to cope with all these and I'll take it until I die I think!
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Emerald - as oestrogen levels drop the body may become dry: inside and out - nostrils, deep in the ears, skin, vagina :o, which can cause parts of the body to itch. Also, as levels drop muscles may become lax = aches and pains.
Make sure that you have enough VitD. A few months ago I got very tired, would do 20 mins. weeding then have to sit for 2 hours, unlike me. So off to the GP for blood tests.
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Thanks for replying!
I take vit D daily and my bones are Ok.
I feel a failure cause a lot of women face menopause as something natural and without so strong symptoms. I am miserable, feel sad and face menopause as a disease, a disaster and a passage to old age. I cannot find anything natural or positive. I see hrt as a drug I need for my deficiency. My body doesn't produce any estrogen and has low ability to adjust to new hormonal state.
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You are not a failure - premature menopause is quite common and HRT is very necessary to protect your heart and bones.
Print the different HRT options off from this site and see you gynaecologist to discuss your options. DG x
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I feel better today, love to hear from all of you! I think that because of my severe symptoms, I was too afraid without any idea how to handle. Thank you again!
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If someone feel the same please contact with me...
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Emerald2017 you are not alone in the way you feel. I had a VERY early menopause at age 22, infact I was virtually through it by the time it was diagnosed at 22! For a very long time I've felt a total failure as a woman (still struggle with it now at age 45) but with the help of a new and very understanding partner I'm getting over that.
I hope you get your HRT issue sorted soon and start to feel more at peace.
K x
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Hi Emerald2017, Estrogel is most certainly available in Greece, I don't know if you need a prescription for it. Here's the Greek link to it https://www.galinos.gr/web/drugs/main/drugs/oestrogel it costs only 3euro 40cents there.
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Hi! Sorry for have to cope with meno so young!!! Nice to hear from you! It gives me courage to go on! My partner left me when I diagnosed with POF. I didn't want to use donor eggs and to put my body to a pregnancy, it's more my personal choice I think. He said that he wants children, we argue a lot, he did not want an adoption...so that was the end of our relationship. I try to cope with all these changes at my life and to find the strength inside me...it's hard.
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Hi Abba! There is available in papers but not in reality! I tried to find it to a lot of pharmacies without success! The majority go gyns in my country did not prescribe hrt due to fear of breast cancer risks. I use cyclo progynova which is available for sure and I'll try micronized progesterone later. My body had a breakdown before I diagnosed, an "estrogen crush". I'm grateful for hrt. Thanks again for replying!
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I totally understand how you feel, I just got the news today (I'm 43) it's not the ageing thing that bothers me so much it's that I can't control my emotions properly and that is really getting me down! I'm an ex pro ice skater and dancer so was always very thin, I'm wondering if that was a factor in getting this earlier than any of my friends.
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Emerald
Ive been reading your posts and although our lives are different in so far as im married with kids. i can identify with the issue and fear of aging. I was surgical meno at the age of 44, at 48 even now none of my friends are having symptoms and when i used to speak about it and they would nod sympathetically but couldnt really understand it therefore it can be isolating.
If its any use to you im quite into supplements and have found astaxanthin and hyaluronic acid helpful as well as omega oils, my skin is great when i take these.
I go back and forward to cyprus a lot and am never out of the pharmacies as they are so nice I always bring back packs of vagifem to the UK, since they can be bought over the counter i will try and establish if oestrogel / other hrts are sold there if thats any help to you. I suppose it depends on where in greece you are as to whether it feasible to get a flight to buy hrt in cyprus.
Take care
Linseyx
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Hi Debs! Meno was a nightmare for me until I took hrt. I try to control my feeling, I was very optimistic and energetic and I felt like a shadow of my old self. I'm very thin too, I asked my gyn about and he said that low body fat makes the symptoms more severe. I think that is a combination of factors, stress, hard training, genetics, no children and...just bad(?) luck! 🌹
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Hi Linsey! Very kind of you! I'd like to know if oestrogel are sold in Cyprus! I can get a flight to Cyprus...and a fight for hrt ;D
My friends don't understand at all! I regret for telling them! I think that many women just lie...that they are not in meno, although their age is about meno or they insist that they are pregnant at 45 without medical assistance...
I discussed my fear of aging with my gyn and my dermatologist. They both said that age ages us, not meno and that hrt gives back the hormones we miss.
I guess that the most of the famous women are on hrt on very very high doses. Thank you for your advices for skin, I ll try them! 🌹
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Ps
Some of the most famous women are on hrt, sadly without their millions we cant access the latest laser skin rejuvination / plastic surgeons etc etc
We will have to make do as best we can.
Im hoping to be in cyprus sometime in next 5/6 weeks.
Night
Linseyx
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We can try to do our best! I agree! Have a nice day Linsey! 🌹