Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Peroxideblader on August 24, 2017, 08:54:27 AM
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I have had an awful morning this morning woke with massive panic attack and huge feeling of doom and it seems to have come on since starting femoston 11 days ago. I'm on an AD which has controlled my depression and anxiety but I feel suicidal...can it be that the oestrogen is causing this and if so does it mean I don't need hrt as I've got high oestrogen already or is it the type of oestrogen in femoston...I'm so scared as I had a breakdown 4 years ago and it started like this...
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Hello - just came on to update my own similar post and had to reply to you. I am not sure what to tell you but we sound very similar. I completely understand the doom and panic, it's definitely physiological and there is an absolute 'cause' for it, it's nothing we can reason with or snap out of. I tend to agree that it's too much (or an imbalance of) oestrogen. I was on very high dose Premarin and I thought I was going mad for a while. First thing in the morning 'anxiety' (doesn't even describe it) and feelings of impending doom and death. I think it's all to do with raised cortisol and perhaps brain chemicals too. Try to remember it isn't real, iand it will pass. Sending you a massive hug - I completely get it.
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Hi, I put up a similar post last night. Mine is since starting Femoston, too. You are describing exactly how I feel. It must be the Femoston. I've felt bad before starting HRT but 100% worse since taking it. :-(
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Sweetpea thanks for your lovely reply. It's awful isn't it I'm crying I just want to end it all and all since starting hrt it's brought everything back ten fold. I always thought it was prog part thst caused issues but maybe not. I was determined to give it a month but I'm not sure if to stop now but then what do I try. I only started it due to irregular periods and total inability to get to sleep neither of which have made any difference. Did you change hrt and was it the oestrogen being too high ? Thank you
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Miss D it's horrid isn't it..how long did you give it and was it the oestrogen part..what have you decided to do as right now I think if this carries on I'll be 6ft under
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Really feel for you it's a nightmare.
I'd get a docs appointment straight away if I was you, it could well be the Femoston, I felt like this a few weeks after taking Elleste conti never felt so depressed and anxious in my life, changed to Kliovance then had another bout of depression. I'm now been on Angeliq for 5 weeks,it's a low dose tablet and my mood feels a bit better although I've got the runs every morning TMI!! but that could be because i wake up with feelings of dread and panic and a churning stomach but as the day goes on I feel better, if it carries on I may have to try something else.
It's awful that we have to suffer this but surely it can't go on for ever!!
It's so hard to determine whether the cause is the hrt or our own hormones.
Go to the doctors and tell them you're really struggling hopefully you'll get something to help.
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I had to come off femeston after two weeks as was same as you, I take ADs which really work but To stop as femeston had me spiralling down a dark whole , with a couple of days after stopping I was ok again. Xxx
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Thanks so much I'm just so fed up and low and sick of feeling so bad but these last 2 weeks on femoston are even worse.
Lil..I think I have to stop too but what did you use instead?? I'm thinking of asking for oestrogel gel and utrogestan and try that.
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I would definitely stop, the doctor said no good pushing on to "see" if I come out other side! I'm now taking ustrogen and premairn, I do get low now and again all the time but not like I felt on femeston, sending hugs xxx
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Lil22 I'm stopping for sure I've got a phone appt with a gp tomorrow so I'm going to ask for oestrogel gel and utrogestan 100mg but do I stop until day one of my next period or start tomorrow and does anyone suggest 1 pump to start and the utrogestan pill at night...so complicated...but need to get rid of femoston I feel suicidal
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Hi - it might be worth searching older threads. There was a poster a while back who posted a lot about her hormone troubles and tried lots of things and different doctors - I think it was GypsyRose?
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When I stopped I just had a day or to then straight on to the next one, the doctor said take utrogestan from 1st each month but only 14 days but some say that's not right dose for 14 days so need to check xx
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I would suggest giving it a week or so off of one before you start the next. I wasn't on femoston, but after almost a year on patches and utrogestan I spiraled into a dark spell. When I stopped in January, I felt better and better each day before symptoms started to return, I think about 6 weeks in. I haven't yet gone back on anything. The worst of it seems to have passed and while I still have bad times, they aren't as bad and don't last as long as they did before. I am actually afraid my doctor is going to push me back onto hormones at my annual visit since I'm pof and need the estrogen, but after that dark dark spell, I'm terrified of trying hrt again.
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I'll stop femoston and when my period starts in 2 or 3 weeks I'll try the oestrogel utrogestan but yes I'm totally confused how long I take utrogestan and on what days so I'll be a pain again soon asking how and when to take it. I'm so scared after the effect just the oestrogen has had on me when that's supposed to be fine and had such high hopes..just hope it's not the case that I can't take hrt at all that would be just the worst thing.
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I suggest you have a short stop from Hrt to reassess/re-evaluate things,let your body settle them start next regime else you won't know if you're on foot of horse back ! ::)
On I do empathise with that dark place though,been there,and the need for a magical instant " fix" like yesterday ! After trialing many decided that it wasn't for me but hopefully you will find something that suits you personally soon.
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Hi peroxideblader....
I completely stopped HRT after what happened. I didn't know if it was the progesterone or the oestrogen but I knew it was the HRT causing it and I couldn't put any more pills over my throat I was so scared by the episodes of doom and anxiety. No meno symptoms were worth that. Two years later, I still occasionally get the 'morning dreads' (thought to be cortisol rushes) which are horrible but copeable. I also stilll get cyclic severe depression where I feel suicidal for weeks (I posted about this) ....family history of mental health issues, I've been off and on ad's for years. Also had terrible PMS and PND too so it's probably hormonal. I've recently gone on a high dose AD and feel I'm on the mend. Hard explain it to those that who haven't experienced it. I think years ago I would have ended up in a mental asylum. My advice would be to stop femoston. Bio identicals as u mention seem to be the way to go. Not as harsh as synthetic but u might have a problem getting on NHS. My GP never heard of uterogestan. I don't think I'll ever do HRT again in any form. I use melatonin for sleep. Hope you feel better soon. This too will pass.
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Peroxide: I would stop immediately. I would have rung my GP today. If you feel suicidal there is also Samaritans.
HORMONES >:(. They can cause rages, deep depression, anxiety - which may be helped with HRT but sometimes conventional medication regardless of the causation, is the only way to go.
If your AD helps then continue with that and let us know how you get on tomorrow?
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Sweetpea we sound so similar I've suffered from mental illness for over 35 years and it was on a nice even keel until this and it's scared me. I have stopped the femoston now and I will give the bio identical a go next period but I'm so afraid now just hope these suicidal bleak feelings go soon after I stop this femoston. Sadly life before hrt was terrible I've been unable to get to sleep before 4am EVERY NIGHT fir over 4 years so hrt was my last hope I've tried literally everything else as you can imagine. So although I can't have this bleak sude effects I'm now back to square one with no options left to help my sleep. The last thing I tried before hrt was melatonin I had to order it from abroad as it's not licenced in the UK. I took 1mg then a few days on 3mg but made zero difference but you say you use it to sleep what dose and type do you use x
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Nothing is worth those suicidal feelings!
As for your sleep patterns ........... I do think as I suggested previously, that a sleep clinic could tell you how often your brain does allow cat naps by monitoring you. Maybe if you know that you do get some sleep however short the bursts, you would be more relaxed. People do sleep regardless because it's the body's way of healing and sometimes thinking that they won't get any sleep is enough to over-wire the brain!
Maybe a note to Dr Christianson so that you can be on 'Embarrassing Bodies' type programme? They seem to explore avenues that GP won't be bothered with.
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CLKD thank you i have stopped now I had to. I will never come off my AD it's kept me sane that's what scared me so much these last 11 days I was back to the bleak suicidal feeling I used to have pre AD but because I've been repeatedly told oestrigen is fine and natural and to persevere I did but today I rang my partner and cried my heart out told him I had to come see him or I think I'd have done something silly. He said stop immediately and I did ring doctors but they said to ring samaritans but I needed to talk about the femoston not my bloody state of mind. I've got a phone consultation tomorrow sometime between 8 and 7pm sadly a useless newly qualified gp who is crap...anyway as I'm back to square one I think I have to try for the oestrogel/utrogestan regime next month as this is my last hope to get my sleep back much as this has scared me.I can't take the sedative AD's they make me ill and my rls worse so it's hrt or slow death !!!
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As well as an AD what else to you take to ease anxiety and/or depression?
Early morning wakening is classic of depression. As is going to sleep then waking for hours >:(. The brain becomes wired. I take a beta-lbocka as well as AD and have an emergency anti-anxiety medication.
Have you tried yoga or deep breathing? How is your breathing pattern, singing can help to regulate breathing which can also be relaxing. The brain gets wired into 'I won't sleep again tonight' so that it is a vicious circle! Not many of us don't sleep at all as the brain would simply shut off.
Some nights I drop off OK then wake ........ last night I wasn't tired so read until 1.30 when my eye lids began to drop. Slept but had very busy dreams ::). Soft music also helps when I go through spells of not getting off to sleep. It is finding something that works!
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Clkd I've asked to be referred to a sleep clinic but they won't as I don't fit the criteria what the hell!!! They moniton people who sleep and wake up or snore or have sleep apnea but they run the study from lights out at 10pm lights on 7am but as I don't sleep til 4am I won't get sufficient monitoring with the 3 hours I do sleep and sadly a private clinic cost is off the scale as it involves 8 different doctors plus machinery and without a lottery win no chance. Do you think I should try the bio hrt?
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Oh I do so hope you ladies can find a solution to your distress. Noone should have to live like this. I am so glad that I did not go down the HRT route it seems to cause so much turmoil to some people
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Not for a while. I would leave at least 2 months. Let the brain settle a bit.
As for not being referred to a sleep clinic, I don't think it would make any difference - what you tell the investigator and what your actually sleep pattern is may well be different! I can't remember (we've had this 'conversation' haven't we ? ) if you rang the Clinic? That's why I suggest Dr Christian can't-remember-his-surname ::) who may have insider knowledge ;-). I work on 'if I don't ask I don't get' principal.
Found him: "Jessen" ;-)
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Clkd.my problem is inability to fall asleep not the early morning waking in depression and no other meds I get zopiclone 2 monthly but only enough to have a sleep every 5 nights so pathetic really. I wish I could drop off but music apps yoga mediation cbt reflexology acuounctire hypnotherapy melatonin msgnesium and much more make no difference it's like my brain is running at full speed til 4am
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Haven't rang a clinic no you have to be referred by your gp mine won't refer me .
And surely the TV doctor man is unreachable to most people they must have 1000's of people contacting them and years waiting list..plus me on tv err never
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I wouldn't for one moment suggest you go on TV ;-) but contacting people is one way of getting links to what may help ;). I would have thought a decently run Sleep Clinic would be available for any type of problem that is causing distress! If you found one that would investigate your pattern then you could ask your GP for a referral ....... or they may see you without, many Clinics do these days - though it's not really ethical.
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Peroxideblader, for now, take a deep breath. You've stopped the Femostan. I feel sure you're going to feel a weight lift from you over the next few days. Yes, you may still have sleep issues and whatever other meno symptoms bothered you, but if your anything like I was, you'll be so much more able to cope without that heavy gloom over you. Let yourself recover for a moment from the Femostan, and who knows? You may not even need to try another. But if you do? If...if... Don't worry about "if" right now. Baby steps. You've got this, one day at a time! Relax and trust that you're moving in the direction you need to be to feel better.
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Well said Lizab :thankyou:
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I realize on rereading that how ridiculous and impossible it seems that I said "Relax". I'll bet Peroxideblader wants to punch me! I know I quickly tired of everyone telling me to relax. But really, what more can you do at the moment? So since I know you can't relax, I should have said, fret over anything else in the world, but don't allow yourself to fret over this right now.
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Lizab I know what you mean don't worry but relax hmmmm not the right phrase hahaha...I've many more health issues too so this just topped it off..and the sleep deprivation is awful afyer so many years it's not occasional that I could cope with and the other meno symptoms are all liveable with but so little sleep makes it all ten times worse.
I'll look at sleep clinics again clkd because let's face it I've got 20 wake hours a day so plenty of time 😏
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Just don't forget your not alone, this is just not the right one for you and bringing on side effects you don't want which WILL pass :)
Someone is always round so please if you feel low have a chat, knowing it's not just you sometimes can be of some comfort xxx
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Hello peroxide
I use Biovea 3mg fast dissolve strawberry melatonin, I crunch up a tab about 9pm with a mini breadstick as carbs are supposed to help. It did take about two weeks to notice it working. I sometimes take Phenergan or Nytol but it gives me restless legs. I listen to white noise/rain on a roof/Hoover sounds on my sleep phones /iPod..really helps as husband snores like a bull and doesn't help matters! I was once advised years ago to stare into the weak morning sun as it rises, (if you are up anyway) as it does something to stimulate the pineal gland and restores natural melatonin? People like us (anxious, stressed, overthinkers, worriers, depressed) are just wired differently I think and have years of being flooded with cortisol and adrenaline and it really upsets the balance. Insomnia was one of my worst meno symptoms, and HRT did nothing for it anyway. Over the last couple of years it seems to have sorted itself out. I think it's the melatonin.
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Lil thank you it is good to know as sadly I'm estranged from my mother and family and lost closest friends after I had my breakdown they don't believe in mental illness think it just meant I was weak so although I'm used to keeping problems inside it builds up and those last few days I felt pathetic but had to break and post for help as I was sure it was hrt bringing on the bleakness. I'm just hoping a different hrt will help.
Sweetpea I've ordered 3mg liquid off biovea funnily enough as I threw my other away. I'll give it another go I gave it about 10 days then quit when there was no change. But I agree that since I had my breakdown and lost capacity to fall asleep my health has hit rock bottom so I'm a walking cortisol ball of stress and anxiety anyway but until this week my AD kept the major attacks at bay.
I'm due a call tomorrow by gp to switch hrt and I'll try melatonin. I was told to take it an hour before I sleep but that would be 3am so I used to take it at 1030 as I first try for bed at 1230 but I've now read on circadian rhythm site to take it at least 5 hours before so I'll try that too.
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Sweetpea I sympathise with the rhino noises from your husband we solved that problem though when we both decided separate rooms was the only way. His snoring shakes the house and all night long and me sweating and fidgeting and getting up a lot meant he slept better too. We are like the royals lol...start off in bed have a chat and cuddle then to our own chambers...still have to wear my ear plugs but it's much better 😊
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People like us (anxious, stressed, overthinkers, worriers, depressed) are just wired differently I think and have years of being flooded with cortisol and adrenaline and it really upsets the balance.
SweetPea thank you for this. This comment of yours is what my very kind GP was trying to explain to me recently when I got myself into a pickle thinking I had been on my AD long enough and tried coming off it, ending up in her consulting room in a mess. Your comment reinforces that it is a defficiency and not a weakness. :thankyou:
they don't believe in mental illness think it just meant I was weak
PB thank you to you too as this is a concept I am struggling with and trying to overcome. I am getting better at being kind to myself but I was always a 'coper' and it doesn't sit well with me that now I am not. :foryou:
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I don't tell people when I feel low just my partner, I normally hide and avoid phone calls ect, it takes me a while to get HRT sorted and it did with AD's I was on citalapram for 15 years but no longer worked so had to try a few which was horrible. Ive now been settled on venlafaxine for a year and feel ok, so knew it was femeston straight away, I really did feel so low.
Well you no you have lovely ladies here to help so don't wait till you feel so bad xxx
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I'm sat here crying you ladies are so so lovely and kind and it's true depression is an illness not a weakness and sadly people still think it's the fault of the person. I like the quote ' depression is not a sign of weakness it's a sign of being too strong for too long ' and it's true. I don't tell people how I feel they all think I'm this happy bubbly person because I wear a good mask and I do my sobbing and giving up in the early hours when I can't get to sleep so nobody sees me.
That's why to post on here was so unlike me saying I literally wanted to end things but now I know it's the femoston and I've stopped I can lift this awful bleakness again. I'm sending huge hug and kiss to you ladies it's so hard but we have each other ..thank you again xx
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Peroxideblader, I'm crying reading your post. depression and anxiety are the pits but when they're together all sense and normality go out the window. I too tried hrt a few times but I have decided it's not for me. My anxiety went off the scale every time i tried it. I have recently been diagnosed with very low iron levels and the iron tablets doctor prescribed really didn't agree with me, my stomach and hiatus hernia were agony(only starting to ease now), but for me the dizziness is the worst. This in turn is making my anxiety and depression worse as I am afraid to do anything or go anywhere. It's so exhausting trying to get through each day and like you I have become very good at masking it. My two sisters, in their words 'sailed through meno' so that makes me feel great NOT :'(. I really hope you feel better soon, but just remember hrt is not for everyone
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Yammy so sorry to hear your story it really is so misunderstood when d4pression kicks in unless you've been through it I mean the black hole depression not those who think depressed is having a bad day. I think what's made things worse for me is everything I've tried for inability to get to sleep has worked for seems like everyone but either the side effects are horrendous or just don't work and hrt was my last hope. I can juggle the other illnesses and I've learnt to live with them but this sleep deprivation has destroyed me I'm not the person I was and was hoping it was hormonal.
I'm posting soon to ask advice about the new hrt I'll start but I'm so scared it won't help either. The only good thing is if this carries on I won't live long anyway as my body just can't carry on much longer it's running on empty.
I hope you keep well we're sadly a member of a club no one wants to join
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Well I'm still very low today but hoping since I've stopped femoston I'll pick back up.
But the gp rang she was actually ok and although she'd never heard of oestrogel utrogestan she looked them up and prescribed them to start next period.
I asked for the utrogestan 100mg and said I'd been advised to take them day 15 to 26 but she said her info says that's only 200mg you take that way and if it's 100mg I take it day 1 to 15 can anyone help with this. And do i start the oestrogel one pump on my under arm in the morning constantly or is it 2 3 or 4 pumps. And if it's day26 do i stop the utro expect a bleed then class day 27 as day one again?* I'm so confused I thought I'd be taking a pill so this is all new to me thanks
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I can't help with the utrogestan but the oestrogel I started on one pump on my thigh (less risk of transfer) waited for it to dry then got dressed. After a couple of days I went up to 2 pumps and now seem settled on 2.5 pumps
Hopefully someone will be along re progesterone but do you have to start them same day ? If you've felt rough I wonder whether you can have a week or 2 of oestrogel only then add in the urtrogestan but like I say I have no experience of that side (hysterectomy years ago)
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PB can I make a suggestion? As this is a thread about anxiety and panic attacks do you think it might be a good idea to start another thread to ask your questions specifically about the oestrogel and utrogestan? I am concerned that some of the many ladies who have experience of this treatment and may be able to help might miss your questions as the thread title might not draw their attention.
Wishing you all the best.
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I'm nearly crying reading your post!! Haha you can tell we're hormonal :)
I'm taking ustrogen 1-14 each month that's 100mg but not sure if doctor has given right dose.
I'm not 100% sure but I thought gel had to be on your thighs or arm but not near your boobs.
Also a lot of ladies use the ustrogen vaginally as less side effects.
Give yourself a few days to get over femeston but don't forget hormones play a part in it all but as long as you don't feel so low xxx
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Baby Jane thanks I will post separately you're right it'll just confuse things.
Lil thank you I'm feeling as low but got hope for now..my doctor said 100mg day 1 to 15 too but I'd read on here it's day 15 to 26 at 200mg utrogestan but to start on 100 to minimise sude effects. Heaven knows but I'm not starting anything til my next period which is due in 2 weeks but is always a week or 2 late so I'll give myself a 3 week break and then hopefully I'll be in a better place in myself. How do you find the oestrogel utrogestan regime?
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I'm taking ustrogen and premairn which so far seems ok, I started the menopause at 25 keep getting settled on HRT then its discontinued xx
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What dose and days in your cycle do you take your utrogestan and you still having periods so get a bleed with this ?
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It doesn't take long to confuse a menopausal mind ;D - what was the question again ::)
Group :hug:
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Sorry just read your prior post you take it days 1-14 does that mean you get a bleed 2 weeks after your previous bleed and do you take it at night?
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Clkd on a good day I remember where I parked my car at the supermarkets and even my name everyday amazes me with my fuzzy meno brain 😅😅😅
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Our town is really small and I always use the same car-park - several years ago when deeply depressed I stood in the Square and could'd remember driving into town - a friend asked if I was OK and I burst into tears. He led me to where I had parked the car and made sure that I was stable enough to drive! Bless, wonder what happened to him :-\ ....... that was long B4 peri ::)
Fuzzy covers how I feel a lot of the time!
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Oh what a nice man..the poor lady in spar this morning only said I looked tired and I burst into tears what an idiot I felt this femoston and peri and me being me has alot to answer for. I'm loony some days
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Nope - you are menopausal! "Please don't be kind to me unless you have a box of tissues" ;)
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Baby Jane posted
>>SweetPea thank you for this. This comment of yours is what my very kind GP was trying to explain to me recently when I got myself into a pickle thinking I had been on my AD long enough and tried coming off it, ending up in her consulting room in a mess. Your comment reinforces that it is a defficiency and not a weakness<<
You are welcome Baby Jane. For a long time I really struggled with the fact that I had to take an AD. I knew it was helping me, but I didn't like taking a pill everyday to make me feel normal. For some reason, I saw Prozac as my enemy instead of my friend. I think it is the perfectionist in me...couldn't stand that I wasn't 'good' enough to just live life normally like everyone else around me. Needed to prove I could manage without it. So I stopped and started for years, which was stupid as you get these awful brain zaps and dizzy spells and when the Madness comes back it seems to be even worse than before. Then when my poor sister was diagnosed bipolar and sadly took her own life in 2014, I finally realised that mental illness is a disease. A disease that can kill. I'm ill, and I need to take medication. I may get better but I need to take my medication. It's physiological...organic, it's not our imagination or something we can control. We didn't 'think ourselves' into clinical depression, and we can't 'think ourselves' out of it. We wouldn't say to someone with cancer, you're weak, or pull yourself together, or snap out of it. I get so angry when people say depression is a weakness. Like peroxide says...it takes STRENGTH to get up in the morning, run a home and a family, do a job and live a life like we do...all the while feeling like we do inside. My sister was the strongest person I knew, she lasted about twelve years on the edge. Finally, sadly, it got her. It ain't getting us.
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I'm so sorry to hear that but yes it reinforces the fact when you are mentally ill it is just as serious if not more than a physical illness but because it's internal in our little brains and outwardly we put in our happy I'm coping mask it means most people just have the opinion you're weak you're being melodramatic and just having a bad day when inside your head you are screaming and barely able to cope some days. It took me 3 times of coming off my AD and breaking down again to realise I need it to keep me on an even keel the same as diabetics take insulin. Sadly I still don't tell people I'm on it as as much as I'm not embarrassed I know from experience how I'm judged and treated if the mental illness is mentioned and it's just not worth the comments.
You look after yourself and keep taking a pill for your ILLNESS not WEAKNESS.
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Having suffered quite bad social anxiety I still felt weak for actually suffering it but realised how strong I was on the other hand. Not many people would confront their worst fears on an hourly/daily basis and with putting on a brave face. Turning up for work each day fearing having to talk to colleagues was torture but I never called in sick, I just counted down the hours each day til I could run for the solitude of home
You're all brave and I really hope you get through this xxxx
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Thank you Sweet Pea and everyone else for your comments :hug:.
In the back of my mind I still rail against not functioning without chemical help but I realise it is a lie. I take thyroxine or I would eventually die from myxoedema so I take escitalopram because my brain produces just enough, or not quite enough, serotonin. I take propranolol to keep me on an even keel and all manner of things to try and make my bowels stop hurting and function. and yet I feel wretched for having to and this is after 12 months of therapy ::).
I am exhausted and overwhelmed after a very busy and stressful (but very enjoyable) week. However it has taken its toll and therefore I feel low but I know it will pass in time.
Thank you all for sharing and supporting. None of us are an island but it is so hard to admit to needing a bit of help at times :'(.
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live life normally like everyone else around me: that's a myth then?!? Firstly what is 'normal'?
2ndly - have you stood in a market or store and watched others? None are watching me, most are checking shopping lists, kids, dogs, baskets ..... I am not that important that a stranger would judge me ! Family members however, have been a different kettle of fish :'(.
If you are hungry, do you not eat? If you have a headache, what do you do? If you cut a finger .......... until we get it out of our heads that others are judging us for anxiety or depression then we won't be able to move forwards. Why feel the need to tell others? I don't. Even DH doesn't know what meds I take or if I miss a night to ease my slow transit!
What people don't realise is that depressive illness can be fatal. For as many reasons as there are stars in the sky. Wading through treacle ..... putting on a fixed grin (I have a drawer full of those); saying "OK" when asked how I am 'cos people really can't handle the reality.
My Mum said "You don't want to be depressed" - no Mum, but I am. "Don't run your husband a dance as your Father did me" - I haven't told her any of my medical history since those words, (1991) - if she wasn't my Mum I would have walked away :'(.
Group :hug: oh, the psychologist who suggested that I 'remembered' how I felt on a good day - yeah, right! that would work then?
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if I miss a night to ease my slow transit!
so the AD we are on can cause slow transit? Goodness I wish you had said earlier. But I have been on it nearly 2 years and was fine until June :-\
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Couldn't have said it better clkd....but sadly as much as the world is trying to change opinions and judgment on mental illness and the stigma attached it never will....my mother hasn't spoken to me or my brother for over two years thank god though because all I got was a torrent of abuse and nasty commmets about me being a failure I'm fat I'm useless and ugly bla bla bla but I just never had the strength to cut her off..now at least I don't have her poison in my ear to add to the others. That's why this menopause journey has been so awful as I have no friends or family to talk it over with and if I did they'd think it was all in my head.
Thank goodness for the info on here or I'd think I'd have been sectioned ...and so many lovely kind people it brings my faith back in human beings.
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Not necessarily BJ but I do know if I miss my evening dose my bowels are easier within 24 hours ;-)
Peroxi - you are amongst friends here :bighug:
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:thankyou:
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PB I had a difficult (controlling) mother and I never felt I measured up but, unlike yours, we did become friends after my father passed away.
Anyway it has taken me a sort of breakdown, medication and psychotherapy to make sense of it all but one thing I do now know, it is not my/your fault and no reflection on me/you, honestly. The problem is your mother's if she is unable to love her children and can only hurt them.
We have an unofficial adopted daughter who we took into our family at the age of 16 due to her dysfunctional and abusive childhood. She is still a very close part of our extended family. Some parents cannot parent due to problems of their own but it is no reflection on you. Is the brother you mention no longer in your life?
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peroxibladder and Yummy1 - Wow your stories strike a real chord with me. I was a 'normal, happyish person' in my 20s and 30s but from my mid 40s have changed into someone my 'old' self wouldn't recognise. I had never heard of peri-menopause and feel quite angry that so many of us feel this way and struggle with our daily lives without any real idea of what is causing it or what could help. I have a mother who is far from motherly too in fact I am sure she has never loved anyone and never even liked me. My children are big enough for her to start mentally hurting them now so we have had to cut her off (she lives 50m up the road) My father has sided with her so I have no family now. Just when I need a mother figure most I have someone who causes nothing but mental hurt. It is very difficult and comes at a time that is hard enough for us with our hormones flying around causing all sorts. I want a Peri-Island with a hotel for us all so we can have a break and a cry and a laugh.
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Babyjane and Roseneath so sorry you've got a mother too like mine. She had a great upbringing she's just a selfish horrid person and a snob whose always leached off the men in her life so has no idea what it is to struggle financially or medically. What's most sad is she adores my older brother and he can do no wrong but that's because he's an unfeeling leach too!! If she was rubbish at being a mother I could get it but she's just unloving with me. Since I cut contact 2 years ago she's stood in a queue with me and acted like I wasn't there it upset me for days but life goes on and it's much better without her nasty hurtful comments all the time . I have my gorgeous grown sons and partner for the love and support and you ladies for the female support that's enough for me. I apologise in advance as I'm opening another thread soon on this new hrt I will start as I'm clueless and think it'll be just as bad as femoston so sorry I'll be a moaner some more and love to you all
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My mother was not a horrid person but she was not maternal. She had a difficult life with my father and I think controlling me was her way of controlling a bad situation that was out of her control. As I was an only child I buckled under the pressure and did not develop as a child should do. As I said we became friends after my father died although the damage was done and it is only since she died that I have had help to understand and come to terms with the lack of nurturing when I was growing up. I bear her no malice but she cannot control my thoughts, actions and feelings with disapproval any more. She was a harsh critic and I am also my own worst critic.
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Hey P how you feeling now? Think I spoke to soon been feeling hideous today xxx
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Hi lil sorry to hear you're not too good what's up?
I'm a lot brighter no where near as low so it was femoston but I'm starting a new regime next month or I think I am but after hearing from you and others I don't know if I should have persevered with it til progesterone part kicked in incase I settled because it seems alot of people are affected low mood wise in the first month..heaven knows
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It's ok to feel low but when you feel like you did it's not worth waiting to see, the doctor said that to me, i just feel very low felt awful yesterday and this morning but my partner pointed out it happened same time last month and passed after a couple of days so I'll just try and remember that.
The thing with the femeston is it was not passing it was getting worse.
Xxx
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That's good if you know it's just for a few days but yeh I felt worse everyday but I wondered if when the progesterone was added I'd have felt better or gave it time but like you've said it was very very dodgy I was too low to feel safe it's easy to say now I'm feeling brighter..such a nightnightmare
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I think you done the right thing :) xxx
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I hope so but sadly I'm back to square one sleep wise and that was my reason for going on it.
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My Mother passed away 7 years ago, and like so many of you we didn't have the best relationship to say the least. I could never really pinpoint why she didn't seem to have any problem with my two sisters and brothers, just me. I talk to her a lot now since she passed (I know this sounds nuts) but I'm trying to understand and make my peace, I have two beautiful daughters and am determined we will always have a loving open relationship. I have been feeling really low and anxious the last few days and I can't seem to shift it, I just feel every time I think I've learned to cope with one meno symptom another rears its ugly head😪. This. Churning feeling in the pit of my stomach is unbearable. When will it ever end.
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Ladies, I am 48 years old, I have not gone on HRT because anything hormonal has never agreed with me and I have tried the lot! - however I too struggle to sleep properly due to flushes and now according to my new dentist I have practically worn out my back teeth with grinding. I always waken up exhausted even if I have gone to bed at around 9.30pm the night before. In the past GP's have mentioned Iron, Thyroid ( where they put me on such a high initial dosage that my BP went through the roof ). Twice I have been at A&E due to chest,jaw and arm pain and now I am afraid I have health anxiety - mainly about my heart stopping and because I often wake gasping for breath when I am trying to drop off to sleep. Is this anxiety driven probably!. Once when I was monitored in hospital, the heart monitor woke me because it was bleeping and stating sleep apnea - only for the nurse to say the kit was likely faulty!. I should have challenged this but I already felt foolish being there as after an ECG my heart was fine. I totally sympathise with long NHS waiting times as I have been told 40 weeks to see the consultant about my teeth grinding, which could be linked to sleep apnea. Sorry for the ramble, I just feel us ladies are left out on a limb by the NHS and the many complex symptoms of menopause are never fully understood and linked.
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I've got a gum shield what was given for grinding teethx
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Lady daviot...same as lil said my private dentist has made me several mouth guards as I suffer from trigeminal neuralgia so I have constant tooth nerve pain and grind me teeth then add the not sleeping and it's made it worse. Sadly I've tried all the guards hard and soft and very expensive ones and none work for me pain wise..but they do protect your teeth it's just they make my jaw pain worse so I can't wear one ....they take a bit of getting used to sleeping in one and they do make you drool haha but they do protect your teeth and your dentist can arrange one for you. I think NHS dentist can supply a basic one for much cheaper than private. Make an appt you shouldn't be waiting months
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I had one for tooth grinding, I bit through it in 8 weeks so it was a bit of a waste of money. I don't grind my teeth any more now, it just seemed to stop by itself.
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You can get a hard guard and you can't bite through that it's like concrete but it's more uncomfy at first to wear...sometimes grinding is just during times of stress and does come and go...
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Hi ladies, my dentist is NHS and I would pay for a private mouth guard, I think he is concerned about the length of time that the grinding had gone on for and hence why he wants me to see a consultant also. I also need to challenge my GP ( when I get the 10 min app ) and see if I can be checked again for iron, thyroid etc but also sleep apnea. I do think that I am a stress head and I try not to be. This website had been a life saver to me as I still Dr Google and I think it is because GP's don't have the time to help with the entwined menopausal symptoms. I try to walk through low moods and if I am really anxious I take a diazepam but now probably won't as concerned about sedatives and link to sleep apnea, although it could be relaxing my grinding :-\ I am hoping for a sleep tonight and not counting the amount of times my cat comes and goes through the cat flap. Work was hard today and I just wished for a afternoon nap, no chance with an 8 year old. I am going to try and be proactive in getting my grinding sorted out and to establish if I have any sleep problems that leave me so exhausted that I can snooze again at 10am - Really!
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I was referred to the Max Fax consultant who referred me back to the physio department where I was given exercises to help relax my TMJ muscles which, in turn, reduced the spasms causing my grinding.
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Just catching up with this thread and wanted to add to it. I had a lovely mum but unfortunately she died young, I miss her every day. Around the time she was dying of cancer I started to grind my teeth - must have been due to the anxiety, but I was never aware of it, I only knew because my dentist pointed it out. I have never been able to kick the habit (mainly because I only do it when I'm in a deep sleep) so I wear gum shields at night permanently. I bite through them in about 2 years and then just replace them. It's just something I have live with I guess - hope this helps x
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thank you peri :foryou: come to think of it I started grinding in 2003 and mum died early 2004 after 11 months illness. I stopped grinding about 2 years later with the help of the exercises I mentioned and stress levels got less.
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Lady Daviot - maybe make a double appt at the end of the GP working day so that you don't feel rushed, also, do take a list of symptoms with you and report back!
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Yes funny I started about 18 years ago when I got my first gum shield and was in an bad realisionship and ME and menapause started bet that was all factors! I did put my gum shield in boiling water to clean it!!! Big mistake 😂😂😂
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Whoops ;D
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It's the hardest habit ti break grinding as we do it asleep. I started when I was 15 and was on deaths door so my teeth were the last thing on my mind but it's carried on all through my life hence a lot of work done to smashed broken teeth but then when I had the medical negligence 10 years ago I got tmj and trigeminal neuralgia so spent a few years I and out of maxillofscial having various mouth guards ending uo with a device attached to my front teeth that repositioned my jaw but after months of pain it made my jaw and tmj much worse so I stopped all together. But get your dentist to make one for you to try out a soft plastic one then build yourself up to the hardest one.
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Thanks all for your very helpful comments and suggestions and sorry to hijack this thread, once you start with one concern, more seem to pure out. I am going to try and see the GP this week but you have to stalk the reception desk in person at 8am to get an app as the next routine is 3 weeks away. I will keep you all posted.
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Good luck keep us posted I'm the same I can't get to doctors til a week Friday and I booked it last week. Let us know how you get on
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Maybe register with your Surgery on-line so that you can book directly?