Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Kathleen on June 16, 2017, 06:37:03 PM
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Hello ladies.
I understand that irrational fears can envelop us at this time but I thought I would pass on a positive story that I heard today.
In the past on MM ladies have posted about how they have become afraid to do certain things or go to particular places and I recall reading about a woman who had a fear of her washing machine and another who could no longer cook meals. Being afraid of crowds and going into shops was mentioned often and today I met a woman who had experienced exactly that during her menopause. She told me that for about two years she panicked whenever she had to go into a shop so she tried to avoid it as much as possible and ordering her groceries online was a saving grace. She didn't take HRT although she did say that she found evening primrose oil helpful. The reason that her story is so encouraging is that I met her in a shop, infact she is one of the cashiers and has been working there for a few years. Clearly her fears are now behind her and she has carried on with her life as if it never happened.
I thought I would pass this on so that anyone in the grip of these horrible feelings can be reassured that they do pass and we can emerge unscathed.
Wishing everyone well.
K.
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:thankyou: as long as I don't feel sick I can take on the World. If my gut lurches, I'm lost :'(, hence the emergency pill.
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Kathleen that's a lovely wee story. I was just chatting to my sis tonight about the crazy week I've had and the terror of believing (after it was suggested to me ) that I had indeed symptoms similar to MS. Can't remember much of the following two days as i crashed and had no choice but to take diazepam- never ever had anything like this in my life. The terror is something I cannot actually expect others to understand unless you have experience of it. Now waiting for tests to be organised - but anxiety has crawled back under it's rock and I am left wondering what the flip happened. Rang my husband from hotel tonight to wish him luck for captains day at golf tomorrow. It was last week!!! Ive missed another week through sheer terror. But hearing stories of women who have got through it is comforting - can't wait for that day :)
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Hello Sparkle and DaisyB and thank you for your comments.
I know many of us can't wait for the day when our lives are no longer dominated by changing hormones, y'know a bit like being a bloke lol.
During my time reading the forum and talking to other women I know irrational fears are commonplace and according to my trusty meno book it is due to a sense of unease caused by neuro transmitters registering oestrogen loss. My book also says that " it has been found that oestrogen prevents anxiety, which may explain why anxiety is such a dominant symptom of the menopause" and " menopausal women are actually suffering from natural tranquilizer withdrawal". Yep, think I can agree with all of that!
Wishing you well ladies inspite of it all.
K.
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Could I have some 'natural tranquilliser'? (and a dictionary :-\ )
Terror really does cover how I feel when anxiety floors me.
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That's nice reassurance, Kathleen. Thank you! That makes so much sense too. A few occasions when anxiety was preventing me from going out, my husband asked what I was fearing. When I stopped to think about it I told him that I don't fear anything in particular but my body seemed to.
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4 me it's physical .......... if I feel OK i.e. not anxious, I can cope.
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Kathleen - what's the book called?? :)
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Sitting reading this feeling sick and dizzy with anxiety, was fine when I woke this morning but as soon as I started to feel dizzy panic set in. Really am fed up with this whole meno thing :'(, just took a stemitil for dizziness so hopefully will kick in soon, hubby is talking to me about holidays for next spring and I can't see beyond next week, it makes me soooooo angry
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How's your diet Yammy1? Another thread maybe?
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Diet is ok, I just can't seem to motivate myself, I think this being my first Father's Day since Dad passes in January is not helping :'( :'( :'(
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Hello ladies.
The meno book I was referring to is called Menopause and is written by Dr Miriam Stoppard and published by Dorling Kindersley. Unfortunately it is now out of print but I'm sure other books on the subject are just as good providing they are written by someone suitably qualified.
Yammy 1 - I'm so sorry for your loss but I completely understand your anger with the menopause. I am furious that hormonal problems have impacted my life so profoundly. Sending hugs to you.
Take care ladies.
K.
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Thank you Kathleen, sometimes it helps just venting your anger here with people who understand
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4 me it's physical .......... if I feel OK i.e. not anxious, I can cope.
Mine is physical too. When it starts, I need my Ativan friend, nothing else works.
But I also know things will get better. We wont stay like that forever.
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Thanks Kathleen xx
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Agree with CKLD and Julation. I find when my body can remain calm, my mind follows. Although certain anxious thoughts spark the body to physical sensations of anxiety. In general, I try to keep my body as 'quiet' as possible. I use a benzo when I need it and knowing it's there is a Godsend. Bless you all ladies!
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Ladies, I can report a small glimmer of hope. Yesterday I drove on the M25 with no panic attacks or feelings of anxiety. This is a first for me in a long time as it's where I had such a bad attack a couple of years ago I literally thought I was going to die, and I'm really not exaggerating. I don't do it that often but it was the first time since I've been feeling generally better, not perfect but better. Just wanted to share as I know when you're going through it you can't imagine ever feeling better again, ever.
S x
This is great news for me, my driving area shrank and shrank when I spent a year or more driving up the M6 with those vile 'managed motorways' and no chance of escape from the lorries!! (my youngest - at 16 was having chemo).
My own sister gave up driving and now knows partly why she did thanks to you lot!
I am hanging on in there. I will be so happy when I can drive on motorways again :)
Thank you and to Sparkle too with her story of the lady who feared shops.
xx
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That's wonderful, Sparkle, and such a sense of achievement as well I would imagine! :)
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I can really relate to these fears because before I started the menopause I also had Post Natal Depression after my 2nd child in 1992 & just like the menopause the anxiety crippled me. My triggers for panic attacks were going out into public spaces & flying. I used to love flying before all the hormonal stuff. That lasted for about 9 years & was left with some mild anxiety. The positive was I could go out to restaurants again but the flying thing has never really left me. I try to avoid flying but sometimes I have to cos I live in Spain & I am a nightmare. If I have an early flight I have to have a glass of wine at 6 in the morning to take the edge of it. My family think it is funny but it is most definitely not. Same with meno anxiety & depression are the worse symptoms for me. But at least this time I can still go out to eat. Sometimes I will be out & can feel a panic attack come on & I try to ride it out which is very hard to do cos your brain does not think rationally but I am determined to still go & do social things. I got over PND & so I am sure we can all get through menopause too xx
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Sparkle that is terrific - so happy for you xx also gives hope to those of us that are struggling to see light at the end of the tunnel. I woke this morning and instantly scanned my whole body. Felt a heaviness in my arm and some pins and needles and the anxiety getting ready to escalate. I'm keeping a journal because I've a feeling there are peaks and troughs that must be hormone related. Still on CBD oil - and it seems to be helping a lot with the 'low' level anxiety but still struggling with the panic episodes.
I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for sharing.
I also ordered sepia and arson alb homeopathy- not hopeful it will be strong enough but I'll post in the homeopathy thread xx
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That's great news sparkle.
I'm another one who struggles with driving on motorways. In fact I just don't do it as I don't feel safe. I'm not that keen on being a passenger either to be honest. Everything seems to whizz by too fast and makes me dizzy.
I regularly used to share driving to London and it never bothered me.
I think the driving thing was one of my first peri symptoms although I had not got a clue at the time.....the lightheaded feeling that lots of us seem to have.
I blamed my ears ::)
I still live in hope though.
Mrs Brown
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That's great sparkle, well done. I'm amazed at how many of us have the driving fear. With me it's definitely the fear of feeling dizzy and out of control, I'm sitting here on my bed so uncomfortably hot wondering will life ever be normal again :P. My anxiety also started after my daughter was born in 1991, it came and went throughout the years, but since meno it's back with a vengeance and it feels like it's here for good >:(. All we can do is ride the storm and hope for the best, but at least we're not alone on this horrible meno journey x
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Hasty I'd have dropped him off at the nearest train station ;)
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Julation - :welcomemm: and tnx for joining in!
I don't rely on the emergency med because I know that when anxiety floors me it calms the nerves in my gut within 20-40 mins.. I suppose that's hopeful?
I find that I have driven less in the last 6 years and haven't managed to reverse the new car in a straight line yet ::) but have been OK going forwards although it does worry me a bit. As for motorway driving, never have .........
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Yammy1 that just proves it even more the hormonal connection. I always had PMT then PND & now menopause. You would think with all the doctors in this world they would have done massive amounts of research into all these hormonal connections & come up with a solution. I am of the opinion because we are all so different that the remedy should be tailor made for the individual & not one size fits all. We & future generations shouldn't have to put up with all these fears caused by hormones.
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I did look at that book on Kindle. I kind of dismissed it as I try to read uplifting things but if you think it's good sparkle then I may well give it a go.
Mrs Brown
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I will have a look at the reviews.....although I'm sure I could possibly lash out 99p lol.
Mrs Brown
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I follow her on Twitter sparkle - she did first interview with prince Harry chatting about his mental health. Was really good xx
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No :-\ I was interested in the mental health angle - but didn't think of a connection to what I am going through. Think I'll get it now ;)
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Totally agree Paisley, we are all individuals fighting different battles all because of hormones. I think if there were more women in medical research then just maybe more would be done. That book sounds very interesting, must have a peek.
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Weekend was so peaceful- dad still unwell so we didn't get to do much. On the plus I used the free spa, ate like a queen and felt the anxiety melt away. Batteries recharged a little :)
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Daisy - does your Dad have anxiety? :-\
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Yes - but covers up. History of trauma xx
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Gosh! This post covers just about everything I feel. Thank you for this. Terror is the perfect word for how I spend the majority of each day. Terror mostly of my own body. I have long been anxious about going out, crowds, shopping, socielising, holidaying etc etc. This last year though has involved total terror. As others have said.....physical and emotional symptoms. I also "crash" regularly. On these days I am unable to function at all. I cry uncontrollably but it is like a pressure cooker....these days are the only way I can ease all the pressure, so in a way I welcome them, which is pretty messed up. I have become irrationally fearful of my own body. So staying in my safe place alone is also terrorising, as my mind is left free to play with itself! I am afraid of everything, acid reflux bladder probls vaginal atrophy, vomiting, cancer, the list goes on......I am so totally sure a tumour is growing inside me somewhere that will eventually explain my bodys failings. I am so sure of it.......
The great thing about this post is to think that this actually may just pass....is that possible without treatments? I have tried just about every therapy going with exception of anti depressants and hrt. Nothing has helped, so I have resigned myself to this for life really. Which sucks. Thank you for giving me even the tiniest bit of hope that one day I may just feel better, or normal, or anything other than this. :'(
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Thanks Sparkle, have a hug from me too! I tried ovestin cream but it gave me unrelenting thrush! So that was the end of that. I havent had a period for 6 years since mirena was fitted. They dont want to take it out until im 55, another year even though blood tests suggest Im well into menopause. Im not sure whether to seek treatment for hormones, depression and anxiety or the physical illnesses that my symptoms suggest I have. The doctors are not very forthcoming with suggestions other than a bag full of different pills each visit. To think that one day I might get better all by myself is wonderful, but probably far fetched. Anyway for now I am grasping onto that thread of hope because otherwise death seems to only way out of this horror. :-\
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Im not really getting any joy with the doctors. They offer me tablets every time I break down and end up going in. I was referred for cbt, it was a 6 month wait so I went privately for counselling and cbt and hypnotherapy. Nothing seems to help. In years gone by I always found hypnotherapy a real comfort but not so much this time. I have seen private gps too. They are very kind but still just pack you off with some tablets. I take amitriptyline in a low dose which I can tollerate, but I react badly to many meds and that causes more fear, so pills arent really an answer for me. I really would like to see a psychiatrist because my feeling is that something is really not right. Maybe I have something a little more complex than just anxiety. I have never ever felt this low for so long and seem to be descending further with every passing day. Its very scary. Maybe it is hormones.....where do you start tho? Im a bit overwhelmed with it all and have lost my voice so far as making doctors take notice. I guess i have just given up really. At least here I do not feel like I am totally isolated. Its good to read stories of hope and to hear other people have found successful treatments. Thank goodness for all you ladies.
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Jessieblue - I am sending you a big hug xx I know how you feel. I paid for a years private membership for GP and after 3 months I feel she has wrote me off! Last week she rang and suggested a psychiatrist and said she could refer for MRI but felt I needed more help. Also said she couldn't prescribe tablets without seeing me again. I was in a really bad place. I've come back out of it this week and I stopped all supplements except CBD - I feel anxiety has just left this week - I am waiting on the panic returning and have started to record daily as it is most def hormones. I've coil in and estrogel. Perhaps it is these starting to work also? Who knows. My dad is back in hospital and for obvious reasons can't bring CBD in. Told me tonight it is a miracle - only after he stopped it yesterday morning did he notice pain returning - he's not taking it for anxiety so I don't know if it has helped him stay calm or not. If you are stuck there are organisations to help when you're in crisis. Your GP should have a list of local free services. :bighug:
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Thank you DaisyB. Forgive my ignorance , but is CBD cannabis oil?? I have seen a few mentions of this but wasnt sure if its available in this country or not, or safe or whatever. I am sorry you have had a bad experience with anxiety too. Its a living nightmare isnt it? My private gp service is great, but they are still gps and tend to think that after a few pats on the shoulder and some shiny new pills I will go away and be ok. Maybe that does work for most people but I have a such a complex mixture of fear phobias and actual illnesses, all feeding off one another. I just need an "off switch" for my brain. I hope your panic stays at bay. I wonder how much the mirena helps or hinders these days actually. I would really like to be rid of it, but advice says it stays for another year.
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I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are both feeling so bad. It is not fair that in this day & age you have to suffer like this. I remember when I first started the menopause & I really felt like that too & really thought I was losing it. I did see a counselor & found her very very useful. She helped me rationalize things more. I also did relaxation tapes where you tense & relax different parts of your body & I found that very helpful for the obsessional thoughts that accompanied my anxiety. I had a hysterectomy 6 years ago & tried all sorts of HRT which didn't help but I do think the further into menopause you go the better things become. I know you can't see it now but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Never give up
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JB - yes its cannabis oil - perfectly legal and not hallucinogenic- I am reading posts and texts to friends from January to last week and wondering where my head has been??? I am cautious as I don't expect this fight is over by a long shot - but whilst I have this reprieve I am taking action. I started sepia homeopathic - recommended by one of the ladies here. Only on it couple of days though. Had a similar reprieve couple of weeks back and felt great - thought it was either B12 or CBD - the thoughts are almost certainly hormonal driven as I slumped again last week and all panic attacks, night terrors and irrational fears returned with a vengeance. I am very hopeful I will get to the bottom of this and that you will also xx