Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: DaisyB on June 02, 2017, 09:15:18 PM
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Girls
I dont want to drag anyone down if your already in low place - but I need some kind words and reassurance if you can relate to this.
My previous posts detailed my journey so far. Long story short I now have Mirena in place and Esrogel nightly. Thyroid was borderline underactive. All tests procedures etc completed in April/May.
CLKD suggested I keep a mood/food diary - but as I responded very quickly to hormones I never really got that off the ground :-X still off work after 10 weeks - agreed to return in 10 days. Was getting to a great place even though still no libido, and energy just about moderate. Mood low one day and upbeat the next???
Had a very difficult time with my dad in recent weeks- took ill on hols with me and just about made it home to A&E or I believe he would have died! (No exaggeration!)
Last weekend as things improved for him i began to wind down a bit and,don't know if this is coincidental, morning after couple glasses of wine I felt dreadful :'(
This week started improving again, stopped bleeding and bit less anxious. And then thyroid results came back normal 14, whatever that means? Couple glasses of wine again last night and the slow reflexes back in my hand and leg today??? To be honest slow reflexes andnpins and needles didn't really go away - just not as pronounced recently. Anxiety through the roof, no appetite - all very frightening, but I feel in all the years this has been going on I am one of those people who is never so severely bad that its taken seriously - and just seem to float under this radar feeling miserable until I get relief of symptoms then I pretend it didn't really happen and run forward with head in the sand.
This is so long winded and I am probably rambling without making sense but need to vent as I'm so frustrated tonight :'( private Gynae feels all is working and libido should come back. Anxiety has my head running in all directions :( private GP agreed to test B12 in few weeks but was pleased with thyroid results. So why do I still feel lousy???
DaisyB Xx
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Thank you Sparkle x yes I think alcohol is going to have to go - the sluggish reflexes worried me - and I did mention several times to GP - but she didn't seem concerned - if I could afford it I'd go to thyroid specialist - but GP said they wouldn't treat me as I'm in normal range anyway. Bit miserable. Thanks for advice - I agree there's a backlash to last few weeks
DaisyB xx
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Sparkle - I could scream : one minute I think I've cracked it - and then I crash and burn :'( that's when my old friend anxiety strikes and has me dead and buried!
DaisyB x
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Sparkle - you're right about eating - I ate breakfast at 12 and tea tonight at 7,30 - with only coffee in between. :'( I thought he was dying in my car enroute to hospital - appearing calm for him and mum whilst almost passing out with fear :( last week and half doing hospital runs etc and yes I can see that stress would set me back. But you know how when you are in the middle of it you can't seem to apply logic?? I wondered whether I would need more estrogen as I'm on 50mg - but then I thought that's just being desperate - kindness to me over the weekend is on the agenda
DaisyB x
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Last 2 emergency diazepam to get me through the night. Hand and foot crazy with pins and needles this morning. Thinking I might double estrogen to see if it helps :'(
DaisyB x
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I am no thyroid expert, but remember when this malarkey started with me my brother was hyperthyroid? He was having hot flushes, panic attacks, palpitations etc.
So when I joined in I had mine checked and it also came back low normal like you ::). I think there are certain foods we can eat to help with it almonds I think....fish like salmon whole grains etc. I also ditched caffeine, (slowly).
I am so very new to all this so don't know enough about extra oestrogen....but in your shoes I know I would want to discuss my hormone levels with my GP.
I am so sorry you are having such a rough time.
Sending some ((()))
xxx
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Thank you DC - hormones checked - not sure where I'm sitting with them but GP and gynae monitoring and just into 2nd month on Mirena and estrogel- going to speak to chiropractor tomorrow as I was thinking that the pins and needles etc on left hand side plus slower reflexes started when i took a massive nosedive in January - I have a feeling after I sought help from an osteopath- will ask chiropractor for advice
Thank you
DaisyB xx
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Isn't this the same thread title :-\
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CKLD - it is :-\ i put it here as I said - wanting personal info to be kept away from public viewing - but worried that most girls in MM would miss it :'(
DaisyB x
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Thank you DC - hormones checked - not sure where I'm sitting with them but GP and gynae monitoring and just into 2nd month on Mirena and estrogel- going to speak to chiropractor tomorrow as I was thinking that the pins and needles etc on left hand side plus slower reflexes started when i took a massive nosedive in January - I have a feeling after I sought help from an osteopath- will ask chiropractor for advice
Good idea - something is definitely wrong :(
Best of luck ((()))
xxx
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anxiety is hard to talk about I know, and admit to. I have posted here in the last few years about some really NASTY panic attacks. They really did get bad a few years back and truly, I was upset and not in a good place at all - felt like a shadow of my former self (Premature Ovarian failure at 32, now 47 so approaching the normal age for menopause, having been menopausal for 15 years!!!!!)
Anyway, honestly, panic and anxiety CAN be overcome. It is not easy, I admit, it really isn't. But I do think once you just 'submit' to it, rather than fight it, it does make it easier. Know that lots of us struggle with it; it tends to weaken if you 'let go' worrying about it and just let it happen. I also had Cognitive behavioural therapy for about 10 sessions. Again it was not an easy fix, but over the years I now really just 'let it come on' and experience it, without the fear. This makes it easier to put up with. Also, try to be kind to yourself rather than hard on yourself.
Hopefully these do not appear like trite hollow words - I do appreciate how hard it is and how lonely it can feel.
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Girls apologies - still learning about posting and just now realised that this is not the section for members only!!! I'd posted twice ........ just blame it on the hormones ;D
Sorry DaisyB
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PoF - thank you. Yes it's loitering about here tonight but I have gotten a referral to CBT counsellor who specialises in menopause. Also sourcing a mindfulness class to help with negative self talk etc
Good to know there is light at end of this hateful tunnel
DaisyB xx
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POF - that attitude may work for you, lucky you! but it has never worked for me. :'(
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PoF - think part of the problem is that I have probably been anxious since I was a child. Developed into a natural worrier and once peri hit pure unadulterated panic and terror. I am resisting the AD's and trying CBD oil as well as CBT soon. But I am certain that if this doesn't work I will be accepting the meds - quality of life is what I want - trying your technique today to roll with it. Think the CBD is helping a bit - although prob too early to tell ???
DaisyB x
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I have probably been anxious since I was a child. Developed into a natural worrier and once peri hit pure unadulterated panic and terror.
DaisyB this was/is me, absolutely. I accepted a low dose citalopram 18 months ago and is the best thing I did along with 12 months psychotherapy after some CBT. I also take a low dose beta blocker twice a day and this keeps me on an even keel.
I occasionally have a surge of anxiety which I know to be hormone related but overall it is under control now.
I was terribly scared of ADs but a kind member on this forum reassured me and supported me for which I will always be grateful (you know who you are) and my husband and I have a better life now. If you think this could help you don't be put off, talk to your GP. Good luck x
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Thank you BJ - making appt with CBT today to get started. Will discuss long term options with her. Can't live with this unpredictability!!!