Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: MicheleMaBelle on April 26, 2017, 04:30:02 PM
-
Ladies- input please? This may be mad and it may have been tried before but I've been thinking of how supportive you have all been via this site.
I know that a lot of us are going , or have gone through a lot, and trying in our own ways to find a solution to our problems.
I have some very good friends but not everyone understands what I'm going through.
Do you think it's a daft idea to try and organise small informal local support meetings? And by meetings, I probably mean, lunch/ afternoon tea/ a glass of something where we can get together and put the world to rights. Have a moan but ultimately to have a laugh at the maelstrom that the menopause has brought to us! I'd hate to think it's a great idea and then find that I'm asking for a table for one! I wouldn't envisage anything more frequently than quarterly and that would obviously depend on appetite. Obviously linked to geography but I'm based west Scotland so would be happy to organise anything north of the border. Just interested to know your thoughts before I undertake anything that needs a modicum of organisational skills ( probably means first meeting would be Q4 2020 so no hurry there then) x
-
It could work. Maybe approach your Practice Nurse to see if she would front an evening related to Menopause? that way you remain anonymous and have somewhere to meet i.e. at the Surgery or in a Bar. What groups do you associate with that might be 'going through' menopause? How would you attract attention?
The joy of a Forum though is anonymity ......... ;)
-
I understand that CLKD which is why I think there may be a reluctance. GP practice is useless so unfortunately I would not contemplate approaching them.
I would envisage local ( say, Glasgow ) meeting as I live further out but I would need to garner appetite and then see who would be up for it, via this site and private messaging. Maybe it's a mad idea but I'll be able to gauge by response levels. All support groups have got to start somewhere I suppose and it might be useful for some women to actually meet up x
-
Its a lovely idea but I would urge caution MMB. I have made cyber friends on a forum in the past and we all got on like a house on fire, so much so that we met up on a few occasions. However real life is not the same and there were unrealistic expectations and disappointments when people were not what they seemed to be. After that it all went downhill and the forum folded and none of us arein touch now. I would hate to see cyber friendships on this forum spoiled in the same way. However my experience was just that and others could make it work, just don't be too disappointed if it doesn't :hug:
-
Although you could use the fact that GPs are a bit wary of HRT. You could ask the Practice Manager if someone could come along to talk for 30 minutes or so at the beginning about the HRT options (from a prescribing point of view) and then spend the rest of it socialising and supporting.
You could put a poster up in the surgery and GPs might then like to use it as a redirection when they have someone new come in wanting info on HRT, so they feel more confident in prescribing to someone after attending.
You could have someone professional in each time to present about products, therapies, etc as it may be good self promotion which you all of course would be the judge of!
Not crazy at all!
-
thanks Dangermouse- although many moons ago, I was an unofficial counsellor for the miscarriage association. I made a couple of lovely friends through our shared experiences and we were such a great help and support to one another through our eventual successful pregnancies. Of course, if was " of the moment" and we eventually lost touch/ moved away but at the time, it was a godsend x
-
I think it's a lovely idea. I would like to start something similar here. I am constantly astonished (and saddened) by the levels of ignorance about peri menopause/menopause/HRT among my female friends/colleagues/acquaintances. And I hate to think there are women out there who are suffering needlessly.
-
I prefer anonymity as well but would be happy to meet if everyone else was . I could travel to Glasgow . However I would rather talk about anything other than Menopause ! Even the weather would be preferable.
-
Could you talk to a Pharmacist if you don't get on with the GP>. Maybe put notices in your Library? However, be wary of personal security both face-2-face and on-line. Do you have a local village magazine, maybe put something in that; maybe a short article about your experiences and see if there's a reaction? Vets. Surgery? Through the Church? What if you found someone you don't like who attended :-X
Would you have a personal e-mail addy purely for discussing these meet-ups to avoid spam on the one/s you use more often?
-
Hi, Michele!
I'm near Glasgow and would love a meet up. You can drop me a PM if you like. It would be great to put faces to names. :)
My only stipulation would be somewhere quiet with good air conditioning and decaf. tea on tap. ;) (Byres Road area in the West End has some lovely tea rooms and coffee houses).
Hugs,
Tempest xxxxx
-
Hi Tempest- I'm going on holiday soon. I'll PM you when I return and try and get something organised. West end is ok for me too. I'll also put a thread out which hopefully captures what we're trying to do. You can Pm me with your location if it means that it would be more convenient to meet up nearer home. I'm on the Clyde coast so convenient for nowhere! X
-
Hello- first time sent a PM so not sure if I'm doing it right! Didn't want to post holiday plans so here's hoping this gets to you and I'm not a complete Luddite x
-
And yes, I'm a complete Luddite!
How do you send a PM? >:(
-
Michelemabelle, click on Tempest's name then scroll down the left hand box till you get to PM press it and then you're off! Remember to click the box on the message page to save the message to your memory. Enjoy your tea! x
-
Hi Michelemabelle
I think it's a brilliant idea! Although I'm anonymous on this forum I would happily meet up with other members nearby to chat about stuff - but yes, about menopausal stuff - that would be the point. I have met members of this forum in real life (after meeting on the forum for the first time) and have spoken to several on the phone.
Other members have suggested this in the past but it depends on enough members being interested. In the past there hasn't been the take-up but the forum has grown enormously in the past year and I am sure there would be some support.
I would suggest you start a new thread with a relevant title like Menopause Support Group for Glasgow area or something that sounds more interesting - and perhaps similar ones on other boards directing members to your main one and then ask members to pm you with their e-mail address. You might want to keep the time and place etc private - and if it gets off the ground then you could start a closed FB group or something so that you could communicate.
:-\ I can't see how cyber friendships could be spoiled. This forum is brilliant for support and sharing information but there is nothing like real life friends and I know I would not be disappointed with the women I had become so friendly with that I would want to meet them. A support group would be slightly different in that not everyone would know each other very well even on the forum but as long as there was someone perhaps facilitating or even if you just all got together in a cafe somewhere - the conversations would soon flow I'm sure!
Good luck with your venture! :)
Hurdity x
-
Thanks Hurdity- it will need to be put on hold still I come back from holiday but I hope it takes off, if even to get together a few times and put names to faces. I found the miscarriage one years ago to be very useful. I think we can talk about anything but I wouldn't want them to turn into mega moaning sessions. mini moaning is ok though!
It would be good to catch up with people who understand what you're going through.
I'll see how it goes when I get back and am looking forward to catching up with Tempest! ( we'll all need to wear Jimmy McJimmy hats to recognise one another! ) or look out for the snarling, muttering , cussing females ( and that's just trying to order tea and a scone ) x
-
Ha ha!!!!!! ;D ;D
Michelle, I have a priceless story about my 'scone rage' incident when I was in perimenopause which I'll save for when we meet. I didn't know peri was happening at the time and Hubby still gets nervous when I order a scone even now...... :rofl:
-
Looking forward to it Tempest! I'm sure that there will be more than one meltdown story, baked goods or otherwise! 😂
-
I think it's a great idea...I'm on the east coast though, not far from Edinburgh..
There are support groups for alcoholics, gamblers etc, where people meet, but nothing for Menopause/depression.It could be run like a coffee morning in community centre... maybe the Menopause Matters head office or British Menopause Association (not sure if that's the right name for it) could look into setting something up..and ask those who attend to make a small donation like a Macmillan coffee morning, for the running of them
-
Thanks Jims Mrs. I'll look into options x
-
Michelemabelle.
I have sent you a PM. I think we may be quite near each other
Mrs Brown
-
I now wish I lived near Glasgow ::)
-
GRL- you can always come for a mini break ( provided you're not a total nutter! ) :party:
-
:rofl: Haha, you are a natural born comedian Michelemabelle, that made me choke on my tea! Hahaha!! Actually I think I might fly up to join you - you'd certainly be game for a laugh! Hahaha! x
-
:boobs:
-
:rofl:
-
excellent idea- would mean more scones for us! Result. Right girls, Bonnie bobbies out! And I do have a story to tell you about that.. .x
-
MINDCharity has walk-in centres which may be another place to put your idea forward?
-
I promise I'm pretty sane ;)
If people were happy to state the area in which they live, we could perhaps organise various local meet ups?
-
Agree GRL
-
excellent idea- would mean more scones for us! Result. Right girls, Bonnie bobbies out! And I do have a story to tell you about that.. .x
Hope the weather warms up for you!! Wish I lived nearer to hear that story MM! ;D
S x
I think we should get up there Sparkle, us Sassenachs could show them how we party down here!! :parti: :parti: (we probably need to tell them that the strongest we can manage is tap water!) ;)
-
I think it's a brilliant idea - have thought of something similar myself.
Anyone in Sheffield?
-
:D Michellemabelle I have been thinking along these lines for a long time also. I am new to the forum ( not a nutter) but my hubby would beg to differ 😂😂 - I am over in NI but would happily fly over if something was organised. I understand some ladies cautioning about anonymity, others cautious about ppl not getting on or mad moaning sessions etc etc But speaking for myself I have felt desolate and confused and for a long time not aware of what was happening to me. Now that the penny is dropping I would def welcome a support meeting of sorts. You can't please everyone all of the time. But I for one have my hand up- count me in - forum is terrific and for me my saving grace - Meeting face to face however would most certainly be taking the support a step further for me. I think you will get out of it what you put in personally. And I would be happy to attend/contribute - I would equally love to see something similar on this side of the pond - but am much too new and inexperienced to think of doing it myself.
I would add this is the first forum I have ever joined and am so happy to be a part of it. Keeping fingers and toes crossed that it takes off!!
Well done for suggesting
DaisyB
-
Your mad idea is gathering pace, Michele! Brilliant!!!!! :bouncing: :spin:
-
Jimsmrs I could meet you in Edinburgh or Berwick , im in Newcastle xx
-
HI Ladies- Daisy B, love NI by the way. Used to go over there quite a lot on business and on a personal basis. Fab people and so friendly!
My idea is to meet up on an informal basis in a social setting☕️🍸🍩. Start off by having a catch up/ chat and then we can take it from there. Let's just see how it goes and I certainly can't arrange anything before I go on holiday so it'll probably be June sometime. I'll be in touch.
Elizabeth Rose and Sparkle- you are welcome, but be prepared not to understand a single word, maybe the occasional shout of " see you jimmy" , before throwing whisky all over ourselves, demanding Deep fried Mars Bars and doing a special performance of the Mad Menopausal Highland Fling. ( sounds like a typical Saturday afternoon in Glasgow girls. we like afternoons now because it means we can be home in time to get our comfort slacks on and watch Strictly or Ant and Decs Saturday night takeaway or whatever nonsense is on the telly)
Walking the dog- funny that you mention Berwick. I want to go to Archerfield House and the spa there. Gets too expensive in golfing season but they do deals at other times of the year. A friend went recently and she's raved about it. Have a look.
Thanks to all for your suggestions- I'd like to give it a go. This can be a scary isolating experience so like the forum, maybe we can gain strength and support one another on a more personal basis.
Hope you all have a good day :)
-
This has grown wings ;D Good Luck!
There is a group of ladies that wear red and purple, one seems them around the UK in groups going for coffee and cake. Calendar Girls use sun-flowers so you need to get a MM emblem ........
Ideas Girls? Maybe a butterfly [wings] from a garden centre, one of those that stick into a pot in the garden ?
-
Jimsmrs I could meet you in Edinburgh or Berwick , im in Newcastle xx
Walking the dog when I can face driving and going out then yes,
-
Green and yellow spots and stripes? Purple is so passe now ;D (when I am an old woman....)
The only caveat I would give about such groups - is that they should be kept separate from the forum (even if the forum is the place to initiate them) - in the sense that it could become a bit weird with women who knew each other in RL talking about things others wouldn't know about if you see what I mean, and might feel excluded - but I am sure you would all be sensitive and would not let this happen! Also I presume they would become open to others if subsequently advertised locally as well as on here?
One possibility if it was successful - or even before - would be to ask Emma to set up a separate board for local groups and then members could post threads about meeting up in particular areas - so it would be easier to search for one and then contact someone by pm. You could then have your group as a long-running chat thread which others could read (or ignore!) but may or may not join in (we have other threads on here which are more-or-less like this).
I think it's such a good idea if it can now get off the ground now the forum is much busier. On several occasions with certain members I have felt - I would meet up with you just to give you some support - not because I wanted or needed the friendship, but because I could see that they would benefit from someone to chat to in real life and because online support, although excellent, can only go so far - nothing like a proper hug eh?!
Hurdity x
-
Agree Hurdity- you can't beat a big hug from someone you truly understands. I left my card in the machine at the supermarket a few weeks back. Must admit was in a bit of a pickle and the very well groomed elderly lady behind me just stood and watched.
I walked out the store and felt someone tap me on the shoulder. She gave me my card back but also gave me a big bear hug and squeezed my hand. She wasn't stood behind me judging, she recognised a younger version of herself. I could have cried!
I would not want any local groups to take way from the forum and I don't believe that this would happen. I hate in any shape or form,divisive behaviour and any form of exclusion so personally I'd do my utmost to ensure that this doesn't happen.
Maybe our emblem can be a big pair of Bridget Jones pants ( over the top of clothes of course).x
-
But surely that's Superman ;D
How about a brolly in a bright colour?
-
I don't think local groups would take away from this forum at all if Emma were to graciously grant us our own board :)
Should we have chapters, erm.....like the Hell's Angels?! ;D I can see the headlines now........'Glasgow Chapter Of The Menopause Angels Cause A Kerfuffle In A Tearoom Over Under Baked Scones'......... :rofl:
-
A gaggle of hormonally-hyped women would be truly terrifying to behold :o
-
:rofl:
-
I'd like to be a fly on the wall :clapping:
-
Just told Hubby and he says he's moving to Antartica, where it's safer........ :o
-
Sounds like fun will you post a group selfie.... ;D
-
Sounds good, I'm near Edinburgh if something here gets arranged 😀
-
I know myself Sparkle- party days behind me and I'm glad. I love my comfort slacks ( Jammy bottoms) x
-
Tap water, sparkle :o - speak for yourself! I've just had a G&T and a glass of wine ???. No comfort slacks for me , nor Bridget Jones big knickers - you won't catch me wearing anything like that EVER!!! ;D
By the way Michelemabelle - apologies if I in any way implied anyone would deliberately be exclusive - I just though it could happen inadvertently in the midst of all the chatting - however sounds like with you in charge of your group this defo won't happen. I want to join!!!! Sounds like it would be a lot of fun! I think there are lots of you up there in Scotland ( judging by the amount of "wee" around ;D ) - probably because of the provenance of the website and publicity. I think we are few and far between in SW England - or else keeping their heads down!!!
I would happily have an MM meet-up somewhere down here but not sure about organising it.....
Hurdity x
-
No offence taken Hurdity! And although I draw the line at big knickers, there's no way I'm flossing my bum with a g string!
Story- friend went to New York for a special birthday ( I wasn't there) Her sister in law ( far north rural farming community) was there and alas, her bag went missing ( and that of the birthday girl) so they all rallied around and her sister in law got some underwear from one of the other girls...fresh.Just out the packet.
So they all went out for a posh meal and sister in law was squirming and fussing in her seat and kept going to the loo. Eventually came back and announced to the knicker gifter that she didn't know how she could wear those knickers and she had no option but to go commando as she couldn't bear them any longer!
Yip, you've guessed...she had them on back to front. Cheese grater doesn't even begin to describe it. The whole table erupted, bless her.
Do like looser clothes nowadays though! I've always been slim but where does the back fat come from for crying out loud!! X
-
And comfy bottoms for relaxing in but not quite BJ knickers - yet!!
:rofl: Sparky my friend, BJ? I thought 'how does she know I like big pants!!!!!' Took a minute or two for the penny to drop
-
Where does the fat in general come from, for crivens sake?!? I have the metabolism of a snail.........And granny knickers are all the rage amongst the youngs uns nowadays - go and Google it, seriously! Type in 'granny knickers' and all the trendy mags are raving about them. If you're wearing cheese graters then you're definitely sooo yesterday (not that many of us are)!
-
😂😂 - I'm laughing out loud reading this! all being well I will be there x
-
Got some huge granny knickers by mistake, they come up to my boobs, revolting to look at, definitely passion killers but oh my goodness they are so comfy I absolutely love them
-
Cheese graters are SO un-healthy! >:(
-
er, what are cheese graters in relation to pants please? ???
-
They are thongs BJ.
Definately designed by a man because no woman in her right mind would come up with that idea ;D ;D
Mrs Brown
-
oh, but I don't get why cheese graters. More cheese wire I would think. Only ever wore one once and took it off half way through the event (in the ladies I hasten to add :whist:
I never liked wedgies so found thongs awful. DD loved them in her younger day ::)
-
Hi BJ- they are cheese graters if you put them on back to front! x
-
oh goodness my eyes are now watering :'(. It was bad enough the right way round. My big bum swallowed them up :o
-
:rofl:
-
well sparky I guess so, especially as I share initials with the original big pants gal Bridget Jones :)
-
Did anything come of this Michelemabelle - would love to hear if you got something off the ground and met up with others in your area - and maybe an idea for others to follow?
Hurdity x
-
Hi Hurdity- I'm not long back from holiday so not had much of a chance to follow it up. I've put some feelers out and some people ( including me) aren't quite in the right place at present.
I'll see how I get on with consultation on Saturday- truth is, I've barely the energy to move from the couch just now.
I desperately would like it to work, but I need to have the energy to follow it through. Onward and upwards I hope!
I will let you know- I still think it's a good idea! X
-
Sorry - I didn't mean to sound like I was pressing you, but just remembered and was wondering. I do hope you manage to have more energy soon. Wishing you all the best with your consultation :)
:bighug:
Hurdity x
-
I didn't read it like that Hurdity so no offence taken!
I would like it to take off but it's hit the buffers somewhat...
Thanks and take care x