Menopause Matters Forum

Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 01:13:46 PM

Title: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 01:13:46 PM
I've realised that I've become really apathetic. I'm not sure but I think it might even be worse since I've had the coil fitted and taking estrogel. It certainly isn't better.

I used to be hugely energetic. I pushed myself hard. Now I can barely be assed to anything. Even after a good night's sleep, I wane by mid morning. I exercise and I eat really, really well so there's no reason for it.

I'm a published writer on a deadline and yet I can't seem to find the will to write. I just about deliver freelance projects that are due.

I want to watch crap TV and surf the net.

But I'm worried about myself too. Does it sound hormone related?
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: CLKD on February 07, 2017, 01:46:47 PM
It may well be hormone related.  When did you have a thyroid function test?
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: dahliagirl on February 07, 2017, 01:51:04 PM
I don't know.

It is certainly something that happened to me when I came off the pill 4 years ago and started my menopause journey proper.  I couldn't be arsed and didn't care about it that much either  ::) I had an op and just didn't seem to be able to recover. 

I started taking vit D and got some enthusiasm together to want to do things that I couldn't be arsed to carry through - so a huge improvement  ;D

Now I am wondering why I want to be doing those things anyway - I have always found life to be a bit uphill and things have not turned out how I hoped, that I have not control over, so I am a bit lost - lots of things going on (or not,  in actuality  ::) )
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 02:01:51 PM
I had a thyroid test fairly recently. And apparently my D3 levels are ok. I take Accrete (calcium) every day (prescribed) and it has D3 in it too. Maybe I'll start topping it up.

It's weird. I've never been like this in my life before recent times.
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: CLKD on February 07, 2017, 02:27:37 PM
The Change brings all kinds of problems  ::)

How much gentle exercise do you manage?
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 02:28:40 PM
I do two HITT classes a week. Both an hour with half an hour of circuit stuff in it, half hour boxing. I walk the dog. I do school pick ups/walking. Some weeks I go swimming. I don't think it's enough, tbh
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: CLKD on February 07, 2017, 02:31:51 PM
If you were apathetic you wouldn't be bothered with half of that !  :-\

What more could you fit in, I find it difficult to get the housework done each day, sometimes we manage a walk of 2 miles ......
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 02:37:20 PM
But I have to really really push myself. And because with a child and a dog, I have no choice but to care for them.
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Lizab on February 07, 2017, 02:54:33 PM
I've found this to be tied in with my depression and anxiety lately.  I get depressed over being so apathetic. It is not me at all. At some point in the day I review what I have or have not accomplished and get depressed feeIing guilty and lazy. On the flip side, if I approach my day with my normal motivation, I get very anxious.

I definitely feel this is hormonal. I'll take the apathy over the anxiety though, as usually I can push myself through the apathy. The anxiety paralyzes me. If I could only find the balance.
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: CLKD on February 07, 2017, 03:06:49 PM
When I was severely depressed I made a list each evening so that I could see what I had *actully* achieved the next day.  I think you are doing far too much! if you have a child and a dog plus housework - which is good activity, apparently  ;) - that is probably enough!  Especially if you are finding it difficult to meet deadlines, it may be that your out-of-house activists are avoidance techniques!
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: babyjane on February 07, 2017, 03:14:45 PM
when I was depressed and didn't realise it I was totally apathetic, much better now since 12 months of treatment.  I will try anything again although I don't always repeat whatever it is I have tried  ::)
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 03:22:59 PM
Yes, I've wondered if it's tied to a slight depression.

I don't know. I keep trying lots of things. HRT. New approaches to food - removing caffeine etc etc. Nothing seems to really lift me anymore.  I'm not emotional - the HRT seems to have given me a buffer but I feel flat :(
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: CLKD on February 07, 2017, 03:52:31 PM
Try keeping a mood/symptom/food diary?  How old is your child, will you need to do more as she/he grows, i.e. school sports days, parents' evenings ........

Feeling over-whelmed can lead to doing nowt at all  ::)
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 04:00:56 PM
Yes, I think I will keep a diary. Good idea, thanks CLKD I'm only doing one pump of estrogel at moment. Maybe I'll do two.

I don't feel overwhelmed  - I manage the household, as it were - it's just a deadened feeling inside. No motivation for anything much
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: ancient runner on February 07, 2017, 04:06:14 PM
Another writer here - started on Femoston last week and this week I've realised I'm multitasking better again, completing stuff and just fitting more in, more efficiently the way I used to. Have been very "so what" in recent months.
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 07, 2017, 04:10:41 PM
That's interesting, ancientrunner. That's pretty much it. SO WHAT!

So maybe I need to keep an eye on whether I've got high enough dosage of HRT.

Is Femoston your first stab at HRT?
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Love_vodka on February 07, 2017, 11:00:39 PM
Noheroicsplease, this is how I feel. I'm not anxious or depressed. I have always eaten a healthy diet, I exercise daily, love my job ect. I just feel like I can't be bothered. I'd quite happily just get up and lounge in front of the tv all day if I could get away with it. It's so totally removed from the type of person I normally am (a do'er!) I've started keeping a diary too to see if there is a pattern as I only recently started hrt.
Anyway sending love and let me know if you find any answers xxx
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Menomale on February 08, 2017, 12:16:12 AM
Sometimes I think I feel apathy, sometimes I think it's depression, or anxiety, or both. Sometimes it feels like a total lack of motivation, but then it feels like dysfunctional upbringing or lack of emotional intelligence... I have always felt like this but I managed somehow. After perimenopause (but then it could be just ageing) I can't manage anymore. When I plan to do different things, or think in a different way or just relax, then something nasty comes and I feel lost again. It's one thing after another, no time to breathe really.

I was browsing the internet and found a website (won't display it here for the sake of the rules) with interesting texts on motivation, communication, lyfestyle, work, etc and there is some good advice there, although I can't say they work yet, I guess it's worth a try. One of them states that anxiety is not about worrying too much, it's about caring too much. Then I thought, well if I care too much, then it's anxiety, if I couldn't care less, then it's apathy. It's a good start to put things into perspective and find what exactly I am struggling with now.
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Lizab on February 08, 2017, 12:36:34 AM
Could you send that site to me in a private message, menomale?  I'm willing to explore any info I can to bring these emotions into balance.
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Menomale on February 08, 2017, 12:40:29 AM
Sending you right now...  ;)
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: CLKD on February 08, 2017, 11:04:46 AM
Keeping a list gets 'it' out of my head and onto paper, therefore I can remain numb but continue with chores.  Without too much thought!
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Hurdity on February 08, 2017, 06:24:04 PM
Sorry to hear about your lethargy and apathetic feelings noheroicsplease. It could well be progestogen from the Mirena affecting you - it is at its highest initially and very gradually decreases over the next 5 years..... I can't remember when you had it fitted but your body will take a while to acclimatise as well, I am sure.

The other thing is (sorry can't remember where you are in menopause!) that some  of us on here a few years ago were discussing this - that after menopause we lost our "zest for life" - the hormones are no longer surging up and down - so you don't get that excitement and enthusiasm at ovulation and early/mid cycle - but you don't get the downs either. In other words hormones are on an even keel. So not depressed at all nor anxious but just a little flat a lot of the time. I am a very positive person so I recognise this difference and don't let it bother me - but it can come as a surprise/shock and it would be easy to say one was depressed when not actually. However I never get worked up about things - anything - in the same way that I used to - my hormones are just not having a party any more!! Some women may want to take higher doses of oestrogen - which would undoubtedly make a difference but getting the right level is tricky - not too high that you are permanently stimulated, and have to take too much progesterone (which has the opposite effect).

Personally I feel I have the right balance - my mood is never low but I'm not easily excited either - and I can cope with the progesterone on a long-ish cycle (in my 60's!!!).

I don't know if this is helpful but if you can recognise it then that's the first step in not letting it get the better of you - and flipping to the positive side. If it's the progestogen - hmmm....the effect is more physiological than psychological I would say!

Hurdity x
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: Noheroicsplease on February 08, 2017, 07:36:59 PM
Hi Hurdity,

That's really interesting. I hadn't linked it directly to the progesterone but maybe it's that?

I started the coil a month ago. I don't really know where I was in menopause? I hadn't had a period in about 11 months and my FSH was near 90.

I realise the HRT has to settle down but the idea that I'll feel this unmotivated for months to come is frightening....I'm wondering whether to increase estrogel to two pumps a day? Maybe I should go and my oestrogen levels checked first?

Aggh. It's a minefield. I do care that I feel flat. I'm not long enough into this to be casual about it. I'm about 8lbs overweight (in the last year since no periods), dozy, flat and not myself. It does make me feel depressed!

XX
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: CLKD on February 08, 2017, 10:51:10 PM
I doubt that as you are on HRT blood tests would be reliable?!?

It is dull.  Cold.  Grey skies ......... enough to make many people feel apathetic!
Title: Re: Apathy
Post by: elsie001 on February 09, 2017, 12:35:58 PM
I definitely felt like that after having my coil fitted.  I also had an overwelming urge to eat comfort food (constantly), and absolutely no urge to eat fruit, which is very unlike me.  Not sure if it's related to the coil in any way?