Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: CLKD on January 17, 2017, 08:42:28 PM
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...... marry someone who lived in your village or close by or from far away?
It was usual in my day to marry within a small area. Because there was 1 car in the family or we used buses/trains. I cycled everywhere ::). Met my eventually husband in School. As did my cousin in her area, [it didn't last], but my sister married someone from another country! We knew the backgrounds of those we went out with .......
We had a weekly Youth Club and if transport was available, a Sat night dance 25 [round trip] miles away - which I was never allowed to go. An annual School 'dance' took place at the end of the Winter Term - we thought it was great, all those disco lights and records going round ;D. A lot of snogging got done I'm sure; as there was in the back row at the Pictures!
Work was a bus journey of 5, 15 or 25 miles away. Ample opportunity to meet boys ;-). As was College, for those of us who went onto Further Ed.. Wonder why?
In latter years because people are more mobile, some seem to meet, marry and divorce within a short space of time :-\.
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I first met my Hubby - ages before he was my Hubby - when he came to my Dad for piano lessons. He was eighteen and I was eleven. We were not (I stress!) romantically involved at that stage! I remember him then as...well...making an impression ::) He remembers me then as being this wee nyaff who he certainly never thought he'd end up marrying! He also remembers my Dad stepping out of the room he was teaching in, to tell me and my sister to turn a record of Mary Hopkins singing "Those Were The Days, My Friend" right down! Ten years later, I found myself flat-sharing with his sister. We met properly and got to know each other and the rest is history.......... :-*
Oh, I forgot to say - At some point within those ten years, I seem to have made an impression on him when I was sitting behind him in a local orchestra (I used to play the violin, too).
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Hubby & I went to same secondary school, but knew nothing of each others existence. We met at local night club. He walked me home the night we met. He says I wouldn't have liked him at school! We were from opposite ends of town, but he told me, that meeting me made him realise what he really wanted in life. OK stop :sick02: Needless to say he remembers nothing of that! ;D ;D ;D
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Hubby & I went to same secondary school, but knew nothing of each others existence. We met at local night club. He walked me home the night we met. He says I wouldn't have liked him at school! We were from opposite ends of town, but he told me, that meeting me made him realise what he really wanted in life. OK stop :sick02: Needless to say he remembers nothing of that! ;D ;D ;D
That's very romantic.......!
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I thought so too Dulciana, but it's funny how men forget these things. When I remind him he says it was so unlike him. ;D Maybe what we see as romantic, they don't. But I'm not complaining.
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We met when I was just 17 and he was nearly 19 so we've been together 40 years last year. We lived fairly close, in adjoining London Boroughs. His best friend was a friend of my best friends older sister, so we had met a couple of times but met properly at a night club.
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Our very first meeting was in the local swimming pool on a school swimming lesson. We were 12 and collided and exchanged names, nothing more.
Our paths crossed various times at school and we started 'going out' at 15, split up at 17, got back together at 18, married at 19 and last year celebrated our ruby wedding anniversary. We have weathered some storms, and still have some to weather, some nearly broke us and nobody believed it would last. However we knew we were forever which is why we never gave up :)
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No, met at a party through friends of friends hated each other at first sight the next day he rang and three weeks after meeting we moved into together now been together 28 years married 27 😊
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I was set up for a date with my DH's brother, a policeman, who was very good looking, but the relationship was a non starter as he proceeded to tell me what was wrong with me eg, I didn't wear enough makeup, have glamorous hair! However, he introduced me to DH, whose immediate reaction was that I was too good for his brother. I remember a discussion with DH about what we aspired to in life and found we were similar. Apparently he told his Mum he had found the girl he wanted to marry. DH contacted me a few weeks later. It took some courage because of his brother, but as he offered to come and talk to my class as he was a policeman. I decided he must be keen as I worked in a different county. I set him up with talking to all the early year classes, poor chap. I started falling for him as he demonstrated why policemen can't wear tall hats in their police cars by going through the Wendy house door and knocking off his helmet! He's still as lovely today, while my BIL is as hostile as ever, but I no longer have to have anything to do with him. DH lived 40 miles away.
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:thankyou:
I can't stand my BinL ::) - the eldest he and Himself are like chalk and cheese, how does that happen!
We've been married 41 years :-*
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I adore my BIL, I have known him since he was 8. As I am an only child he has always been like my own brother :)
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I lucked out on BILs! And the children on uncles. But I did have a lovely mum in law and gorgeous nieces and nephews.
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there you go then, my MIL and I never got on and hubby's 2 brothers have no children so no nieces or nephews, just grandchildren.
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I moved as far away from my mother as I could then met someone and eventually married him, although I did have second thoughts as my mother liked him. We lived together for ages before we got married and only did it because of my dad who wasn't happy about my unmarried status. I wanted to elope but OH persuaded me to have a proper wedding - I'm pleased I did for my dad, but that's the only reason, and I still really wish we could have eloped. Oh and I avoid the in laws like the plague :-X
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Took me a long time to meet 'the one' but we've known each other for 46 years and we're such fools not hooking up at 15, we went through all our school years together and our dads were best friends
Many wasted years with the wrong people
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I wonder whether we would have bothered to have got married today. We wanted to live together, but we weren't able to. DH had to get permission to marry me from the Chief Constable of his police force! And my parents would have been horrified if we 'lived in sin'. We did not enjoy our wedding day, as Mum took over, as usual, so it seemed it was for everyone else. I felt more secure from having made a commitment to each other, though that doesn't really make sense, with so much divorce around. My daughter remarked that she and my son were in a minority at school. Not only were we, their parents, still married, but were happy to be so.
I think our relationship works, because neither of us expects the other to be responsible for the others happiness. That is our own responsibility. We like and respect each other as we are. We do things for each other, without expectations. Weve looked after each other at times of trauma and ill health. We don't try to change the other. Most rows have been hormone linked I'm afraid, but communication helps through that.
My daughter is very anti marriage. Every one of her school and uni friends who married are now divorced. She has been with her partner for 15 years, very happily and have had a child together. My son had to marry his American wife for immigration reasons, but states that the question of whether or not to marry was taken out of their hands, have enabled them to just get on and enjoy being together.
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At our reception his Gran took me to one side, "I am so glad that didn't live together" - well it's what we wanted, could have spent the £300.00 wedding costs on other items ::).
We haven't expected anything of each other apart from kindness and honesty. His Mother was OK, welcomed me because it was her son's choice ......