Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: Clare11 on January 14, 2017, 05:27:06 PM
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Hi all, just need a boost from you all. I have been doing OK for a while and suddenly boom, feel low and down. We are going on holiday tomorrow but even that's not helping. My health anxiety seems to have reared its ugly head and every sensation/slight pain I am associating with Heart attack.
Not yet on HRT. Trying to make it through. Not on anything. Sitting here with slight tingling around lips and I think I am about to die. Getting so mad with myself. Even done CBT and that's not helping either. What to do :'( :'(
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What a shame Clare. All I can say is that I get tingling around the lips, (and fingers and toes sometimes) and have been reassured by my GP that it often happens during perimenopause. I wonder if you're feeling pressure to be 100% while on holiday? I know when I go away I get quite worked up at the thought of letting people down by being unwell. Will you have the opportunity to do very little if that's what you want?
Are you still in two minds about HRT? Might be worth making another appointment with your doctor?
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Hello Clare11.
I don't have the answers for you I'm afraid ( oh how I wish I did ) but I did want to send you hugs.
This hormonal upheaval is a hard row to hoe and you have my sympathy.
Take care.
K.
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Aw bless your heart, I was at a low last sept just before we went to Spain, it was building up and up and one day whilst there I had a total meltdown (I rarely cry in front of OH) I could hardly breathe for sobbing , I felt sad I'd let weight go on, i was convinced he didn't want me, then I said I don't think we should be together blah blah blah. He got upset with me thinking it was over. God know what it was but I soon recovered from it then we'd booked to go away 4 weeks later and I was dreading it in case it happened again but we had a great time.
I hope you manage to stay calm and enjoy your break, if you don't feel like doing anything but relax tell hubby and keep him in the picture of how you're feeling
Xx
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Hi clare11 I can totally relate to you me n hubby went to sunny Tenerife on Xmas day as we do most xmas's first few days was fab but I think after a few days of indulgence (drink ;D) I started getting up with a feeling of dread heavy feeling in chest really jittery feeling all over we would be walking round and I would be looking for hospital signs luck as it our hotel was next door to it eased the pressure a little thinking just incase I need it,I would constantly talking to myself in my head saying shut up and get on with it cuz that's what I do at home lol why would another country be different by late afternoon I would be feeling totally relaxed and wondering what all the fuss had been about.i could kick myself sometimes because all we are doing is spoiling our own time my OH thinks I am mental at times but is quite understanding,but I fully get that we think are going to die with all the different things it throws at us to challenge chin up we live to fight another day :)x
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:thankyou: :bighug:
It does help having others who have or have had the same feelings.
I am thinking of going back to my doctor and discussing more about HRT especially as I am nearly 55 and NICE imply HRT is more helpful than ADs.
I will give it my best.
This forum has given me alot of information and help.
x
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I so relate to you Claire, this could have been me writing the post!
Are you sure you don't want to try HRT? When you find the right combination, it's like a weight lifting off you. There are lots of professionals listed on this site who might be good for you to chat with - of course they charge but wouldn't it be worth it for peace of mind?
I am 50 and have been on Elleste Duet 1mg for 2 years - in October the anxiety returned and more recently some night sweats/insomnia/memory totally disappeared! - the doc suggested I increase to 2mg and see what happens.
I am also due to go on hols in March for a week and am simultaneously looking forward to the week off work and dreading making it miserable for my husband! I know he doesn't expect anything from me and its very much a lying about and reading books holiday but that still doesnt stop me feeling anxious about it.
I have full complement of "innards" ie, still have ovaries and womb etc but it really feels that my oestrogen levels have plummetted off a cliff recently!
:-* xxx
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Hi Clare11
Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit off still but hope you have (had) a fab holiday and try to relax!
Defo think about that HRT when you come back ( can't remember your story at the moment but unless you are contra-indicated to HRT - then yes HRT rather than ADs are the way to go and you will feel so much better - I did at almost your age!
Hurdity x
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Hi, well here I am on holiday and I was just about coping but now I have got diariohe and the anxiety has gone into overdrive. Sweats increased but I am telling myself that's due to the heat, silly how your mind starts working.
9
OH is helping but I am also worrying that I am spoiling his holiday. And I still have 9 days to go :'( :'(
Don't know how to pull myself out of this. Have brought some AD's with me the doctor prescribed but really don't want to start these, especially with having the runs.
x
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Hi Clare11, Health anxiety is one of the worst symptoms of the menopause, i felt like i was going to die and that i had some dreaded disease and still do, and i am 6 years into the menopause. Even though i know it is meno related it doesn't stop the anxiety and need to pop in and out of this site for a bit of reassurance now and again. I also feared going on holiday with it, but went none the less and was fine. Try to enjoy your holiday, a bit of sunshine can work wonders. :bighug:
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Boil a kettle of water, cool and sip it! Make sure that you have access to re-hydration sachets. Stop worrying about spoiling his holiday, it's up to him to get as much out of being away as possible, despite your hic-cups! You are not responsible for his reactions!!
...... and breath! Anxiety can make the body evacuate quickly :o. Have you been to this place B4? What is expected of you now that you have arrived? It's a holiday, remember ;)
..... and breath!
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Hi all,
CLKD I have been doing as you suggested and took some re-hydration salts and it's beginning to work I think.
Also as jgr and Hurdity suggested we have relaxed, not done much at all and OH is well OK. He just wants me to be OK.
Anxiety is beginning to dissipate, I have done some CBT excercises, whilst free from the toilet ;D
Put the AD'S back in the suitcase trying not to go down that road.
It does help to know I am not imaging all this and others out there have or are having very similar problems.
Still struggling with any pain being something tragic in my mind. More CBT required.
:bighug: to you all
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Morning clare11 glad your holiday is picking up,it's just so sad what your imagination can do to you mixed with the anxiety,where ave you gone nice :) anywhere is better than miserable uk lol and yeah found the breathing helps it also helps when I palpitations also a good cough my daughter is a cardiac sister and she taught me these things to do I used to run to her with every issue I think she secretly was getting fed up with me lol but now we laugh about how I was in the beginning A BlOODY NIGHTMARE relax and enjoy your hollibobs xx
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Hi, I just want to be my old self again, how I was about 10 months ago.
O
I keep thinking about HRT but when I look through this forum I am not sure it will fix my problem.
Will it fix my thoughts? Will it fix my low moods ? Will it fix my, well not sure I would class it as depression but I will say depression?
I have put up with the night sweats for over 5 years and was hoping they would go soon.
I want to take back responsibility of my body and mind. I want me back
Maybe re the above is why the doctor thinks AD is the best route.
In Thailand and worry about the hospitals here if anything did go wrong. :'(
x
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Clare I really think the HRT will help your moods - why not give a try on 1mg/equally low dose and see what happens? It cannot hurt and if you make a decision to do it when you get home, then you might relax a bit and enjoy the rest of Thailand. I always found that having a plan helped :)
Big hugs to you!
SP X
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Hi Clare Thailand how lovely,when you get home you will kick yourself for what you have put yourself through on your holidays :( just hope you make the right descision that suits you I personally have never taken anything but I would never say never,everybody's experience is different,just please try and relax n enjoy your experience in Thailand x
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Hi Lollipop,
How on earth do you cope if you don't take anything?
Any tips, ideas, thoughts would be great :)
Or any one out there with any help, if only to help me through the holiday 8)
x
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Hi Clare my symptoms started around 2011/12 to be honest I don't know how I did it lol but I am one of those people who think get on with it,had a lot of shit happen over the last 20 years with parents passing away a massive house fire my motto is bring it on got through it standing still got my lovely hubby of 35years and 3 beautiful daughters and now a grandson to spoil rotten. My job as childminder helps cuz they keep me run ragged lol I don't have time sometimes to worry bout it xx
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Hi Lollipop, I totally understand. My parents have both passed away. I was treated twice for diving bends, one definitely, the other as a precaution. I have no sisters to talk to, brother lives in Wales over 3 hours from us. Best Friend is 6 years younger than me and hasn't started with peri but she tries to help all she can :)
My worries are far worse in the morning, even here on holiday. I do my CBT excercises in the morning, write in my log but still they are there in the back of my mind, "bad chatterbox" I call it.
I just want to feel "normal" again.
I am even starting to think is it menopausal!!!! But then again it did come from out the blue I
And I have never ever been like this before, not even when I looked after mum and then had to move her to a home and then with her when she passed. I was also with Dad when he died.
Sometimes I wonder what else life is going to throw at us.
x
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Morning Clare well at least you have found this site to help you along cuz it certainly helped me.yeah my fears are mora in the mornings was told it is your hormones dipping by midday feel right as rain lol and you can chat to me all day long if it helps :bighug: :bighug: my family and friends say I can talk for England ha .i have got 3sisters and I am the middle one we are all going through it my eldest sister only has flushes,roseaca acne,my youngest sister as got the bloody lot joint pains,flushes,palpitations,fuzzy head poor thing she lives next door to me and she is always knocking on my kitchen window looking for advice lol so feel free to ask xx
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Thank you, it does help and as you say this site is brilliant for help and finding things put, if only to know you are not on your own.
Bye the way it's pouring down here on holiday ;) more time to write in my journal. ;)
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Hi Clare11,
I've been reading your story and just want to wish you well!
I'm afraid that the feeling of wanting to be ourselves again, before perimenopause/menopause hit with its ugly anxiety, only adds more to the anxiety because that is actually impossible. I see this time of life as a second adolescence when we lose track of who we are, what is going on with our bodies/brains, where we stand (are we young or old?),etc. It's worse than adolescence regarding future, health, death, but is the same regarding insecurity, misunderstanding (from people who are not experiencing the same), etc.
I'm here trying to remember how did I cope with my adolescence turmoil... maybe it could shed a light on how to cope with perimenoapause?
Sorry for the ramblings
XXX
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Hi, ramblings appreciated. Have to say I don't remember how I coped with adolescence. I can't say it bothered me too much but do agree with you it's a very similar change re not knowing your body or mind.
As you say though the changes seem far more greater, much more impact, well they do to me.
This is why I keep thinking of AD's as the flushes are not so bad, it's the emotional turmoil or the bad chatterbox, these cause me so many problems.
My main problems with the Menopause seem to be more emotional rather than physical.
xx
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Morning ladies hope you had a good weekend,Clare hope the rain as stopped for you paying all that money to go on holidays and it rains.i think the emotional side is probably worse if you got aches n pains you can fix them with meds or sumat our minds are impossible to tame like I said before Clare you do what's best for you,only you know what you are feeling like.xx
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Hi ladies, just to let you know rain is still coming and going but it's not bothering us. Been doing alot of thinking and talking with the OH all the emotions still there but handling them alot better. I am going to see the doctor when I get back with questions in hand re HRT and AD's.
I will get there
Have to say sitting watching the sun set dose make you think differently.
xx
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Morning Clare when you back from your lovely holiday,hope it hasn't been spoiled by your dreaded symptoms.if your not back then don't come back it's bloody freezing lol.just done school run wiyh kids nearly landed on my arse it's that slippy ;D just texted me hubby saying I need another holiday lol I can't wait to see what he replies only been back 3weeks x
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Morning Lollipop,
Last day today, leave tomorrow.
It's been tougher than I thought, been some big ups and downs. I will be glad to be home even though I have enjoyed it, sounds sort of daft really but I have enjoyed being here in away.
I just don't get why I can't seem to think logically and know that my thoughts about dying are just thoughts and I will be ok. When home my look into trying Mindfulness.
Hope all is OK with you. Not looking forward to the cold.
Any ideas for your next holiday?
xx
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Hi Sparkle,
Is your course on line? I have a book that implies it takes 8 weeks to follow to get the full impact.
x
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Morning Clare and other lovely ladies me n oh are looking at a cruise it's bit like marmite love it or hate it my sister swears by it,but we will see I just keep thinking about the titanic lol but unfortunatley my oh is no Leonardo di caprio ;D ;D.yeah I have heard of those mindfulness courses never looked into them to be honest,I can relate to that dreadful feeling that you are going to die on holiday why o why on your flipping holidays do we feel like it,then fine at home ???.i find myself looking round at older woman on holiday n thinking well she is older than me n she is still here after meno lol enjoying life,then I shake my head n laugh thinking you pillock you ain't going to die lol :) what a great life MEN have got hahax
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Oh Lollipop, how true, I have been looking at older ladies and thinking just the same, you made me smile ;)
Though I do get these thoughts at home too.
Never tried a cruise, friends have and luv them.
x
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Well ladies I ave gone and done it ..........signed up to a gym lol got to shift some podge I am 13st 8llb I was never that heavy when pregnant.i so do love my food and drink though so it's probably defeating the object :( I walk everywhere though I do two school runs and push a double buggy round also,it's only round the middle I ave put it on any tips out there great fully received lol.it would also help my bp no doubt,my OH as just walked in from work n said do fancy Chinese,no help at all are they I could say no but it would be rude wouldn't it ;)xx
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Good on you Lollipop, you go for it
I like jogging and have discussed with Oh on holiday about doing our local half marathon in September, something to aim for.
Sparkle, I will read my book and review if I like the sound of mindfulness of courses near me.
I will sort myself out too.
xx
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Hi ladies, on way home. Not doing too well, thoughts a many and doggy tummy but digging in there.
xx
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Safe journey Clare speak to you later :)x
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Hello ladies,
Back home and holiday washing started.
As OH said "nothing happened, knew you would uy your return ticket" ;D
I am going to list my probs and try to talk to the Doc about them. But that may take a while as doctor appointments are like gold dust.
Have any of you used Starflower to help with your symptoms?
Now back started to miss the warmth already 8)
xx
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Hi clare11 and sparkle
if you have read any of my posts you wil know I'm a terrible anxiety sufferer and have been for coming up 7 years when peri started. I have been under the care of the cmht for a,year as things got so bad, and because of that I have been referred for different therapies .as part of the current group therapy I attend which is shortly ending we practice mindfulness and I have been doing it on my own since September. I have found it incredibly helpful in that it stops my thoughts racing away from me. It does take a bit of getting used to when you first start it but once you start using it then its a good tool to use when anxiety strikes.
Lots of luck xx
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Afternoon everyone hope you are all ok :) just having the most chilled weekend ever lol.busy day tomorrow with four toddlers n two school runs :( glad your back safe and sound Clare n I bet your kicking yourself wiyh all the fretting you have done cus I know I do,sparkle I hope your course goes well and helps you in many ways.you will have to keep us updated to how you are doing :)xx
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Hi Lollipop, you are so right re the fretting ;)
And Sparkle, please keep us updated and hope it helps :)
I will start my book tomorrow.
Lollipop, enjoy the school runs :)
xx
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Well that's another day over and done with :) how have you all been.well we had a bit of action this morning don't know if you have heard that a man stabbed his wife on lidls car park this morning in tile cross well that's right on my doorstep n my sister works there,thought it was a quiet area.how ave you been Clare since getting home x
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Hi Lollipop, well I never re the action in Lidol's carpark, you never think it will happen on your doorstep.
Me, not doing too bad. Trying to take each day as it comes.
Going to start my mindfulness book today, see how I go with that.
Hope you are OK.
x
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I know bit scary but at least they know who killed her and caught him and there ain't no madman on the loose :( hope the book helps you I had a right eventful day with one of the little ones had sickness n diarehea phoned is mom n she just said it's his teeth in all the 28 years of childminding I know that's not teeth,refused to come and get him it's in my policies about sickness so I rang his grandmother up n she come and got him she came out of work as well to get him,mom as just text saying he wil be coming back tomorrow I told her 48incubation period not a happy mom but I ave all the other kids plus my family to worry about getting it,I just think people don't care poor kid was in a right old state sorry for the rant,perils of my job xx
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Not a prob at all. It helps to have a rant now and again. You have listened to my moans :)
Hopefully a better day tomorrow.
x
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Oh well it happened grandmother turned up with little one saying that I told her he could come back today,oh no I never I told her gran was quite shocked that I wouldn't take him in,they said they have got jobs to do well it makes my piss boil what do they think I do all day,I sometimes wish I had another job other than what I do,people think I shut the door and that's that when they go home,I have ofsted paperwork,learning journeys,time sheets etc plus my housework n a BlOODY LIFE lol. And how are you lovely ladies today hope you are all coping :cancan: :cancan: all we can do is keep on singing and dancing through it xx
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I agree Lollipop :cancan:
x
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Afternoon ladies how are we this fine day (not) bloody weather got drenched this morning at school run still drying out,how you getting in with your book Clare.went the gym last night did ok just gentle cardio at the minute just to help me bp,this time next week I will be doing 10k marathon lol ;Di can't run to save my life can't even run a bath haha ;D.xx
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Hi, only on week 1, another 7 to go but persevering. Do my excercises each day. Not sure I really get it but will carry on.
Still keep getting those stupid thoughts so keep going back to CBT.
Just can't seem to get through one day yet without a thought.
Keep going with the gym, excercising is supposed to help with Menopause, so I have read.
Do find it does help me, especially with the thoughts, puffing and panting when jogging takes my mind if most things ;D
x
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Evening ladies how are we all doing :)just been to the docs bp still high put me on a different tablet :'( he did say give a month or so at the gym n it will bring it down (fingers crossed) how you getting in with your book Clare xx
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Evening, you stick with it Lollipop they do say excercising is good for BP. In fact I am sure there was something in the news not long back saying 15 mins on the bike over a month can reduce BP. It was a study I am sure.
Week 2 of the book, still persevering. Did a Body scan meditation and think I sort of got it then it went.
Never mind.
Started with a very low dose of AD's as struggling.
See how we go. ;)
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Ah bless Clare like I said before you have to do what suits you,whatever makes life better :) and yeah gp said gym will help (probably losing a bit of weight will help).got a lovely day off today youngest daughter got theory test the other two drive and have been helping her to revise so fingers crossed xx
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Allow everyone where you all gone lol, ya been very quiet hope you are ok :)
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Hi Lollipop, still here. Just hibernated, I really don't like the cold weather :(
Been trying baking to keep the mind occupied, have to say the hubby is enjoying the treats.
Not been feeling too good but think that maybe an affect from the AD's.
Hope all is going well your end.
:)
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Hi Clare know how you feel I could quite easily live in sunnier climates,and yeah Defoe could be the ads, I work in lloyds pharmacy on Saturdays (as if I don't do enough in the week lol) and we get a lot if customers on these n ave the same effect but usauly ok when kicked in what ones are you on n how long ave you been taking them (sorry for being noisyjust might be able to help)xx
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Hi Lollipop, it's citalopram and been on it for 8 days. Don't mind you asking at all. :)
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Hi Clare yeah one of the most popular ads my sister is on them it took a few weeks for her to settle on them but is absolutely fine now,bear with them they won't make you zombiefied either just more relaxed,every other customer that comes in chemist is on them so can't be that bad to tolerate keep me posted how you getting on xx
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Morning everyone how are we got through another week hopefully all ok,Clare how you doing with the ads.not looking forward to next week it's half term so all my schoolies are off so a very busy week just hope the weather is fine so I can chuck them in the garden lol,if you don't hear from me in a few days you know I have chucked myself under a double decker bus :(it's also our 35years wedding anniversary on Tuesday see what surprise that brings (not) lol not very romantic my oh :'(xx
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Morning, 35 years, congrats to you both. Hope you have a lovely day :D
Not too bad with the AD's. Not sure if they are having much effect yet but then again I am or don't think I am worrying so much but hard to tell.
I will persevere with them.
Maybe I need a slightly higher dose??? Still have some weird feelings.
And don't throw yourself under a double decker bus the passengers will be late for where they are going ;D ;D ;)
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Lol Clare never thought of that,oh well I just better get on with it like most things ;)yeah ads still might need to kick in so bear with it.had a lovely anniversary present my husband bought a new car,I don't even bloody drive and we don't go out initial the weekends cuz of drink driving so it doesn't benifits me at all,typical man lol I will get my own back some way or other watch this space ;Dxx
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Well I survived the half term ladies with no chucking myself under any buses lol,how as everyone been,your all very quiet hope that means you are coping :) xx
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All going OK here Lollipop. Glad to hear you got through last week. :)
Still trying the mindfulness, not sure if it is helping yet.
Seeing the doctor this week to see how the AD's are helping. Think they are but not sure if enough. Still have some aches which worry me and suffering with bad catarrh >:(
How are you doing?
xx
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Hi Clare all been good thanks,had a horrible sore throat feels like swallowing razor blades,I think I got it off my grandson cuz I can't help smothering him in kisses lol poor thing been through the wars he even had to have blood tests today cuz his immune system is so low and they don't know why,so many nasty bugs going around.but hey hopefully the weather is gonna change can't wait to get my good old faithful flip flops on :Dxx
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Hi Lollipop, flip flops oh how I am missing them 8)
Hope the sore throat is better.
All not too bad here. AD,s got a slightly higher dose but have been feeling better with them. Onwards and upwards x
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That's the spirit girl,it will get better and as for the throat all better thankyou,having a lovely night with me grandson only person who don't seem to wind me up at the moment,very demanding but he is a kid so you expect it don't know what excuse the adults have got lol,been looking at holidays all afternoon :) it's the flip flop conversation got me going haha, my sister as already got 3booked so we'll jell ;D xx
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Morning clare11how are you doing with ads hope you are well lost the thread a little,well another break for the kids lol so driving me barmy ;D still not booked any jollies yet getting twitchy fliflops lol.x
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Hi Lollipop, all is not too bad here. The AD's do seem to be working, not all mended but i think alot better. Even started taking my own blood pressure and that has improved and don't seem to be getting so stressed over it so bad as before. It's not perfect as i still have thoughts about having a heart attack but i wasn't expecting miracles. Still work for me to do.
Get those flip flops on a holiday 😎 we have booked one for may and i am going to try diving again.
It's hard work but do think i am improving slowly.
How are you doing??
x
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Ah Clare really pleased for you knew you would get there :)and these bloody flip flops are doing the Hokey Cokey with my suitcase lol as for the heart attack I don't think that will ever go away cus I still think it just shake my head to myself and laugh cus I am sure if we are having a proper one we would know lol.....and as for the diving get you the brave one ;D were are going nice xx
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Hi Lollipop, funny how our brains work. Been to the doctor today for a review and she has said carry on with them for a couple more months. Told her I am getting some headaches and she thinks that is connected to the tinnitus i have, had it since August when all this started 😥. Still onwards and upwards. Trying to do more.
Are the kiddies back at school yet? Get those flip flops on a holiday.
As for the Heart attack, well it's not happened yet so why should it happen
x
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Morning Clare no they ain't back till Monday 24th :'( it's not been too bad I had a couple of days off so made a difference.my sister is on citalopram n she is getting headaches too,been told to continue,you sound more positive than when you first started posting,we really do have to just get on with it don't we lol xx
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Hi Clare how you doing,hope everything is fine with the ads.still not booked holiday yet been looking at goa again :)we said we would like to do a month but both being self employed it's a lot of wages to lose all at once. My sister is really suffering she as had to go to some sessions to open up about her low moods, I live next door to her and she can talk to me whenever she needs but the said that I am to close ??? Whatever that means,her grow up sons don't help they are a constant Norse to her, I know we love our children dearly but I would give them a kick up the backside and they know that cuz they keep a wide berth from me.sorry to rant lol xx
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Hi Lollipop, all going well. On count down for the hols :D
Got a couple of friends who love Goa, we have never been there but it is on the list. Understand your concern about the wages but starting to think we are only here for a short time so need to enjoy ourselves.
You rant all you want. Sorry to hear about your sister. Children, can't really comment as we have never had them, we weren't lucky enough. But you stick to your ideas and don't let them beat you.
Get the holiday booked.
x
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Hi Clare this will be our 5th time if we go this year and I get the thing about the wages but victor meldrew worries bout all sorts of things he is a what if type of bloke,were I am so what lol and as for kids you seem to have done fine without them,well the sun has been out today so got me flip flops on lol xx