Menopause Matters Forum
General Discussion => This 'n' That => Topic started by: CLKD on January 03, 2017, 11:09:48 PM
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Is sharing a protective trait, a natural habit in humans?
Recently I read a book in which the writer explains that at an early age he earned an amount of money ...... his father insisted that he shared it with his siblings >:(. I don't agree with that, if the 'job' was his, he was specifically requested for the appt., then surely he should have been able to keep the amount himself?
How did others feel about sharing as children? As the eldest I had to share, I was also told by my Mother, "You are the oldest so you should know better" if my sister cried crocodile tears ....... I had to allow the younger ones to play with my toys but I wasn't allowed to play with theirs ..... I can see now that it was my narcissistic mother, 'telling' me that I wasn't good enough to play with anything other than 'mine' :-\. It still rankles !!! :-X
I can understand a mother sharing the last bit of food with a child in extreme circumstances and I can understand lovers caring in such ways, however .......... once other animals are weaned they are quite literally, on their own!
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I'm the youngest of 4 and sharing was important to my parents (who also shared)
but sibling #3 ( whom I'm still the closest to) didn't/still doesn't like sharing ! My Dad once encouraged him to share his Mars Bar that he was going to eat in front of me and he refused so my Dad took it off him and brought it back sliced up on a plate and handed it out! Me and my brother still laugh about that
I brought mine up to share but they also could have things themselves, especially if they earned them
I'm a sharer but I can remember sneaking to the loo to eat something nice that couldn't be shared if there wasn't enough to go round lol like chocolate or biscuits but I'd have gladly give up a meal so my children could eat instead
Actually, another memory just popped up of the brother with the Mars Bar, he has 2 children and when they were young we'd all share a caravan for Easter and my 3's eggs were in the kitchen and they shared, but his 2's were in their bedroom and we never saw them or got a morsel of them x
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Because once something is given to me, it's mine? .......... and there are certain people I wouldn't share a breath of fresh air with :-X. It's a bit like the advert., 'would you share your last Rollo' ::).
I do think it's the parental attitude that is important. Because I had to share but the siblings didn't ........ I really resent it. It means they didn't learn that maybe I would like to take part too!
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I have a daughter then 2 sons. They were treated differently in a way, my daughter didn't have to have my son tagging along if she didn't want, she wasn't his babysitter, she got priveledges for being the eldest, more pocket money etc and didn't need to share what she bought but I urged her not to flaunt things she wanted to keep for herself
The 2 boys although 4 years apart were very close in age academically so chose to share their list for birthdays (they had similar interests) so often put their toys together as a whole
Middle child I worked hard on as I'd heard they can feel left out a lot so each child was treated equal but not the same if that makes sense x
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I was never taught, I was an only child with older parents and no friends. I couldn't understand the concept of sharing. If another (school)child picked up something of mine I would take it back as I believed they were going to take it away from me and it made me feel insecure, a legacy from my abusive upbringing when my things would be taken away as 'punishment' for not conforming.
I'm not sure sharing is a natural human trait as self preservation is stronger.
I have no problem sharing now, I would give to anyone if they needed something I had.
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What was ours was ours as children. Permission had to be sought if we wanted to borrow something. When it came to sharing things e.g. food, it was shared equally. Apparently my MIL used to tell one son to cut food like cake and the other to choose which half they wanted. It stopped arguments and they quickly learnt the concept of equal halves! Clever!
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What was ours was ours as children. Permission had to be sought if we wanted to borrow something. When it came to sharing things e.g. food, it was shared equally. Apparently my MIL used to tell one son to cut food like cake and the other to choose which half they wanted. It stopped arguments and they quickly learnt the concept of equal halves! Clever!
I have four children, all adults now, and I always did the one cuts and the other chooses, it worked perfectly.
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My sister and I shared everything, even a birthday cake as our birthdays are so close together. We always just came as a double act even though there were 4 years between us so I never thought anything of it. We have an elder sister who I have no memory of ever sharing anything with anyone, think she was resentful when the two of us turned up.
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We were taught to share at home. My kids laugh when I tell them the Mars Bar story. My dad used to buy a mars bar and cut it in three for us kids. Mars bars were a lot bigger then.
Our next door neighbour back then had 8 kids but they were quite spread out in ages. I used to go round there a lot and she would often sit there eating chocolates from a box and the kids were never allowed one however much they asked. She just used to say "No, they're mine." Maybe with 8 kids they wouldn't go far but it always struck me as very mean.
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We were taught to share at home. My kids laugh when I tell them the Mars Bar story. My dad used to buy a mars bar and cut it in three for us kids. Mars bars were a lot bigger then.
Our next door neighbour back then had 8 kids but they were quite spread out in ages. I used to go round there a lot and she would often sit there eating chocolates from a box and the kids were never allowed one however much they asked. She just used to say "No, they're mine." Maybe with 8 kids they wouldn't go far but it always struck me as very mean.
lol I wrote about a Mars Bar and sharing too !
2 things I could never manage to finish as a kid was a Mars Bar and 330ml can of drink, I don't have a problem scoffing now I'm grown up x