Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => Personal Experiences => Topic started by: babyjane on October 23, 2016, 11:44:38 AM
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Looking back over the last couple of years, some things I have realised are that menopausal anxiety is very nasty and life limiting but it doesn't kill you and there are ways to deal with it but they involve hard work on days when you just don't feel like it. However just sitting and waiting and wishing it would go away (like I did for a long time) doesn't make any difference. The same with hot flushes, they are uncomfortable and disrupt your sleep and your work but there are ways to minimise the effects of them and, once again, they do not kill you and in my experience they are time limited, they start to go away when hormone fluctuations begin to settle although at the time it does not feel like they will.
Perimenopause and menopause bring with them an array of symptoms and difficulties to a greater or lesser degree. There is help available but sadly you often have to search and ask for it and you need to put the work in. There is not a 'one size fits all' treatment that makes it all go away (wouldn't that be nice) as every one of us is different with widely varying needs.
Do not be tempted to compare your meno experience to that of other ladies, or replicate a treatment that has worked for someone else only to find it doesn't work for you. Try to find your own way through your own personal experience of the menopause.
The things that help the most are, in my experience, talking about how you are feeling, posting and sharing and learning from this forum, a supportive and up to date GP, a supportive partner and family, patience and a sense of humour. Never, ever apologise for yourself and be honest about how you are feeling and ask for help when you need it.
I so wish I had known these things 10 years ago, I might not have wasted so much time in negativity.
My very best wishes to you all :hug:
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Sometimes you need to travel a little or even a lot in pain, to be receptive, ready and open to help when it comes along. I was told that when you are ready, then the teacher arrives. For me that was true. For you, BJ, the negativity belongs in the past, I hope. No one wants to suffer, physically or emotionally, but it does help to make a rounder, more whole empathetic person. It helps you to appreciate the smaller, sometimes more important things in life. I wish you well, BJ.
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:thankyou:
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Babyjane - a very insightful post - thank you. DG x
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Thank you for your comments :). Can I just add that it has taken me 11 months of medication and 10 months of private psychotherapy following a meltdown in a traffic jam nearly 2 years ago, in order to see the wood for the trees. A lot has passed this year and a great weight is lifting, so much so that I can now deal with a devastating diagnosis for a close family member and I even coped with a cake going down in the middle this morning without raising my voice ::).
Please seek help if you need it as you are valuable as ladies and worth a lot more than living half a life or even less.
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>hands over plate< :cake: covered with cream BJ, it won't be noticed ;)
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Sorry for late post, just catching up!
Wise words from a wise lady, thank you so much for taking the time to post this, especially as you are on a 'break'! I'm really delighted to hear that you are in a better place and therefore better able to cope with your difficulties.
All good wishes to you and your loved ones x