Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Binbon2 on August 31, 2016, 02:25:20 PM
-
I have been off work for about 4 months because of insomnia - I made a few mistakes because of tiredness and even small mistakes can cause a problem in my area of work.
I suspect if I can't resolve the insomnia soon then I am going to be dismissed due to medical capability.
I was just wondering if anyone has had problems with keeping their job during the menopause?
As far as the insomnia goes, I have been on Elleste duet 1 mg for 4 months and have started the Elleste duet 2 mg last week. No sign of the insomnia letting up so far.
I find that my insomnia gets much worse in hot weather. Anyone else notice this?
-
Could you be moved within the Company Binbon2? Is there a Union to discuss issues with?
-
Hi binbon2 I left my job in November due to anxiety caused by premenopausal symptoms I Sa I left but if i hadn't they were looking for ways to get rid of me , intimidating me , lack of support mot giving me an inch etc.
I hope tho doesn't happen to you, good luck xc
-
Hi Binbon2 - there are many reasons for insomnia, if the HRT hasn't helped so far then I would hot foot back to the GP for further advice and help. It can be a meno symptom and in my experience whenever I had had a break from HRT and then went back on, the first thing I noticed was the improvement in my sleep but this improvement would start quite quickly within the first couple of weeks. HRT does not and really cannot solve everything. There are strategies and things that could help you improve your sleep overall so I would seek advice for this.
On the general question of the meno compromising our ability to work - I think if they did a survey on how many women have to either give up work or at least reduce their working hours due to meno symptoms they might start treating these symptoms better. DG x
-
Hi Binbon, I work as a Receptionist in a very busy GP Practice. Like you I suffer from insomnia & was finding my hours a nightmare - I worked 8.30 - 6pm Thurs & Fri. Stress levels were thru' the roof due to working a long day on no sleep and paranoia of making a critical mistake. I requested a change of hours which took over a year to happen due to Practice Managers changing and messages not being passed on. I now work 3 afternoons per week and am so much better as a result.
I got the mirena coil fitted a year ago and although it's far from perfect, the progesterone in it really seems to help with my sleep. I'm 50 and suffered very heavy periods as well as insomnia.
I really feel for you - lack of sleep impacts on all areas of life.
-
I gave up my job 7 years ago. I was struggling & arrival of my eldest grandchild was good excuse.
-
Hi Binbon2,
I stopped working full-time in January due to stress, anxiety, sleepless nights, awful flushes/sweats etc. I was so utterly exhausted I was practically falling asleep on the bus every day! The temp (admin) contract was about to end anyway, I wasn't being treated fairly, and as my boss was a man felt unable to discuss my symptoms/problems, so sadly I shut up & put up :( I could've gone to Unison for help, but again thought what's the point? Wrong I know, but I'd really had enough, & after struggling for nine months I just wanted to get out.
The hot flushes/night sweats (no HRT) disappeared almost immediately, so I reckon a lot of that was stress related. I'm still awake in the early hours for an hour or so, but can go back to sleep now I'm not up at 6.30am :)
As I can't really afford to stop working, I've now said yes to a low-key 17 hr job within walking distance which shouldn't have the sort of pressure I've been used to. We'll just have to manage on less money, as my sanity's at stake! I feel SO much better now for the break, and have spent time re-vamping the garden/long dog-walks etc, so am back 'in balance' again. I'm very lucky to have a supportive OH, as I know my single friend's would love to drop their hours, but really can't afford to.
So you're definitely not alone! Maybe look for something part-time to suit when you're ready? X
-
I gave up my full time bookkeeping job at the start of peri as I thought I was going mad
I couldn't concentrate, I started to struggle to understand my work and as a result lost my confidence, I became short tempered and was so fatigued I was getting myself in a tizz
I now work 2 full days a week in payroll and although I'm shattered it frees me up for appointments/grandchildren
Annie x
-
One of my reasons for asking to start at the age of 53 was the fact that I just knew I wasn't doing my job properly and it was a choice of either trying to alleviate the symptoms or resign. I didn't want to give up my job and, just as importantly, I couldn't afford to. I'm lucky that, now, at the age of 62 I only have to work four days a week. Three more years till pension...
Taz x
-
Yes I had to resign from my teaching post, due to anxiety and stress. Some of it was caused by hormones, I had a hysterectomy and ovaries were removed, so has a surgical menopause. But the main reason I resigned was because I was constantly undermined by my headteacher who made me feel like I was the crappiest teacher ever. Before she took over as headteacher had always had good reports.
I am now going back on the supply List after lots of counselling and a self eternal course! I can choose which days I want to do, and hopefully nicer schools and less stress!
Nikki xxxx
-
Hi Binbon2 - I'm self-employed so luckily I can manoeuvre things a little to suit my symptoms. I used to have a small beauty salon but have recently (after a year of aching joints and swollen fingers) given up completely.
Insomnia, night sweats and dropping oestrogen levels causing aching joints, coupled with 2 boys, a dog and 2 businesses all took their toll and I found myself being short-tempered and uncommunicative with long-standing, lovely clients. I just wasn't interested. And the job left me in pain.
I had another business which is less physically demanding and am now concentrating on that. I shudder to think what would've happened if I'd been employed in a salon as there's scant regard for sickness in these businesses.
Good luck with your job difficulties and hopefully you'll feel better with the right combination of meds.
Dxx
-
Nikki, I do sympathise. Many years back I had a head teacher who mistook bullying for managing and made my rather problematic pregnancy very difficult. I didn't go back after maternity leave. As I found the energy required to work full time was beyond me, with bringing up a family, a husband who worked ever changing shifts in a stressful job and no child care or family available, I resorted to part time and supply. I learnt to enjoy the advantages. You don't have your own class, but you can say no. And if you get to work in a school you like regularly, you have the chance to work throughout the school and get to work with children throughout their time at the school. I have some wonderful memories.
Sadly, my energy levels dipped gradually through the years and was very much compounded by the onset of the menopause. I retired when I was able to take my teachers pension, which of course is much smaller than it would have been had I been able to work full time. I had got to the point that I needed 2 days to recover from 1 day of teaching. CFS was being banded around by the gynaecologist and endocrinologist as a diagnosis. At age 60, I sought help privately and started HRT in desperation. I now have enough quality of life to peruse my interests and enjoy my grandchildren. I'm fortunate that my husband has been able to support me, though it has impacted on our finances.
-
I feel for you totally, and yes I'm unable to work now. I was a Certified Accountant before all this, previously working for a very large organisation and laterly in private practice.
It's taken a huge toll on us financially. :(
Sleeping is definitely much worse in warmer weather! I can't wait for Autumn to arrive.
-
I'm self-employed but had to cut my hours drastically, as I simply couldn't cope. Now, of course, I am running out of money... But I know I am still fortunate to be self-employed as I would probably have lost my job by now if I were working for someone else...just used to fall asleep in the middle of the day, I was so tired!
-
What a good thread this is. Really highlights my point that someone should look at the impact of meno in the workplace. I doubt they took this into account when they raised the retirement age to 66/67??!!
DG x
-
This thread really touched a nerve with me.
I'm finding working full-time in a demanding job so difficult now because of insomnia. But I'm single and can't afford to stop working.
There's no way I can bring up menopause related problems in my workplace - it's already a very female unfriendly culture. I feel like I'm not coping very well and there are extra pressures being put on me because, like you, I've made a few mistakes and am definitely not as 'productive' as I was a couple of years ago.
I'm considering a career change but am really struggling to get plans together (have difficulty concentrating, planning at the best of time!).
I do worry a lot about what's going to happen to me over the long term ...
So Binbon, I don't have any solutions to offer but I can sympathize!
x
-
Thank you all for your replies - good to know I am not alone.
I am 45 with kids still at school, so was not expecting the menopause to have such an impact so soon! It is sad that a natural process affects the working lives of so many women. You have job protection when expecting a baby, but no real protection with the menopause.
I currently work part time, so probably not much option to reduce hours further. My husband earns enough that it won't be a disaster if I lose my job. We just have to adapt to life on one salary, although it will be tight. Hopefully things will improve with time and I can find a way to contribute to the household financially again.
I will certainly discuss other ways of managing insomnia when I go back to my GP. I will also discuss the mirena coil. I have seen a gynae recently due to prolapse and heavy bleeding (which left me iron deficient). Tranexamic acid has reduced the bleeding, but the gynae did suggest the coil as an option.
I find when I have a really bad night that my legs are really achy the next day. I think I have noticed that if I do more exercise then I tend to feel better the next day with less achy legs. Will have to put that theory to the test more, although it is hard to get yourself doing exercise when you feel so tired! A bit of a vicious circle!
-
Do you have a good union rep? Employment law makes it difficult to just dismiss someone but you need good representation. Few of us know all our rights. I have a bit of knowledge from the other side of the fence as a manager. Your employer must offer you reasonable adjustments once a medical problem is identified. Wishing you well 😀
-
What a good thread this is. Really highlights my point that someone should look at the impact of meno in the workplace. I doubt they took this into account when they raised the retirement age to 66/67??!!
DG x
Yes, I really feel for who, like Sally, are single and reliant on their earnings. I would have had to carry on working until I was too ill, then retired on medical grounds, having gone through hell to get there. Instead I am very fortunate to have the support of a husband who said enough is enough. I can't bear seeing you struggle. We will manage somehow and we did and do.
-
I worked in an all female environment and the manager was the least understanding person in the world she's only thirty, her attitude was shocking, I hope she suffers the menopause from hell after what she put me through, like a lot of ladies I couldn't afford not to work and my husband is,self employed we live month to month financially. However, we both new if i had stayed in my Job there wouldn't be a me , I was seriously depressed by the time I left.
Its disgusting there's not allowances made for menopausal women in the work place as you can tell I personally feel very angry about this due to what happened to myself.
-
I sympathise with everyone on here - I left my job last year after a breakdown. The previous year, I became depressed after not feeling 'myself' for some time (I didn't know it was due to late reproductive/early peri at that point). The insomnia, amongst other early peri symptoms & stressful circumstances, took its toll on my mental health.
In my workplace, the atmosphere was awful because there had been a change of leadership and heads were rolling. It was increasingly unfriendly and I lived in fear of being 'ousted'. When I became depressed, I told my female manager - I wished I hadn't. After showing initial sympathy, she treated me with derision after I took a few days off sick (my attendance & punctuality had been excellent for years before this). The way she spoke to me destroyed my already declining confidence & I was never the same at work after that. Further down the line I eventually went off sick for weeks & resigned without ever going back. You would think a fellow woman would have some compassion but I found this was far from the case.
-
The real tragedy is that all this is completely avoidable for the vast majority of women.
With the right hormone treatment at the right dose, there is no reason why women should not feel either completely normal again or significantly better and free of life ruining symptoms which force them to change their lives.
It is scandalous that we are having this debate in 2016.
By the way, thanks a bunch to the anti-HRT whingers featured in the DM article that dangermouse posted recently. I wonder what words of wisdom they would have for the members who have posted on this thread?
-
I returned to work after breast c and because I was not on my hrt anymore etc my problems started about right! I got no support at all, I was even given new role to do which I wasn't up to. It's a long story but women are actually worse, I could not believe how I was treated. I have taken time out but I can't see me going back. With more support I would still be there today but hopefully better times will come along :)
What goes around, comes around. Best wishes binbon x
-
Like MadBloss, I started feeling 'not right' about a year ago because of late reproductive symptoms, especially disturbed sleep which lasted for a whole week prior to the start of my period (I'm 50, still regular, but periods are now closer together). This had a major influence on my ability to concentrate and function properly at work.
I tried sleeping tablets, but they didn't agree with me so I went back to the GP and she prescribed a contraceptive pill and also asked for routine blood tests.
Had a phone call from her on Tuesday informing me that I was actually a 'moderate to severe level anemic'!
Turns out it's probably due to me now having 'heavy' periods. My periods don't hurt but I've been using double protection on the first two days (tampon and pad) for a year or two now. I hadn't realized this was what counted as 'heavy'.
When I went in to collect the prescription she asked me if I'd had any of the following symptoms: fatigue, shortness of breath, dizziness, poor muscle performance.
Well I had all of those but had attributed them to job-related stress!
I think being anemic may explain a lot of why I've been feeling so bad at work over the last year or so.
There are compulsory redundancies coming and I know I'm being 'eyeballed' because of poor performance. I was told I was 'disappointing' in my last appraisal and it's true I'm not as 'good' at my job as I was 3 or 4 years ago.
I think telling my boss I'm officially 'anemic' and getting a letter from the GP might help.
However I know if I'd just said I was 'peri menopausal' then there's no way that would been accepted as a justifiable reason for poor performance.
I just hope that the iron tablets will help 'sort me out'.
I totally agree with MaryG, it's scandalous that we're still having this kind of debate in 2016 ...
-
I thought I would lose my job last year when I had a breakdown after struggling through but then a couple of health scares put in in a panic as I don't handle stuff like that well at all, but thankfully, work were quite supportive. I was off for around 28 days in total spread across a couple of months (I work four days). I do work in the legal profession for employment lawyers and my boss said he understood anxiety to a certain extent as he'd experienced it within his own family so that helped. Not many of my co-workers got it though and I felt alienated and self conscious saying it was anxiety and menopause as most of them are a lot younger than me. Why do we have to be made to feel this way? There were days, and still are, that just getting there through the panic attacks and then trying to sit there, sometimes not being proficient at all, is dreadful. I have been there nearly 4 years and before that I loved my local previous job but was made redundant so I was stressed when I took this new job and haven't been right since. I can't retire as we lost our pension and OH isn't supportive at all so I have no choice but to carry on. I could cry some days at just the thought of going in and how bad I feel. I feel for all of you ladies who have had to give up or are like me, just getting through each day. There has been mention though lately, I think even by Dr Currie, about menopause awareness in the workplace and I think it needs addressing as there are so many women struggling. I've been looking for something more local and easier but the pay then is so low and I would struggle. I just need a nice little reception job somewhere.
-
I didn't realise that this was affecting so many people in this way, thought it was just me! I left my job in July. I was a school secretary and really loved my job but i'd been suffering with anxiety related to peri and just couldn't cope with it anymore. The environment also really didn't help as the head teacher was a bully and was picking on one of my colleagues. The office environment was just awful and so stressful and that definitely didn't help with how I was feeling. I was signed off work with anxiety in June, and while I was off decided that I couldn't go back and put myself into that environment again. So I've been off now for about 2 and a half months and my anxiety is feeling a lot better and more under control.
I'm just starting to think about looking for another job, but I'm not sure doing what. I don't feel like I can cope with an office environment right now so am just going to look around and see what I might be able to do. Definitely not going to do as many hours as I was either.
It's awful that so many of us feel that this our only option, but I'm also glad it's not just me :)
-
I'm so sorry to read this thread.
I'm barely hanging on in work.
For 17 years I worked brilliantly in a fast paced job, and was in a high level position.
I thrived on the pace and loved my job. I was a real high flyer and earned a great salary.
I took a less stressful, slower paced job and all was looking good because I had more time for my young family.
Then BAM I was clobbered with awful perimenopause symptoms.
I am struggling so badly. I have been awake since 2.30am today thanks to continuous flushes and palpitations, I'm at my desk now and have been holding back the tears since 8am.
If I can't get some improvement soon I will have no choice but to leave my job.
My current workplace has an extremely strict sick leave policy (14 days maximum over two years!) so taking a stretch of time off to get myself together is not an option. I don't even have a bloody diagnosis of why I'm falling to pieces.
I can't believe I've gone from being a highly functioning, work-loving person with a sense of humour to a completely different woman in a matter of months.
I can't believe I might have to stop working at the age of 40.... I have worked in some capacity since I was an 18 year old student.
-
Thank you Menomale.
I've seen my useless GP, then I saw my gynae who wants two sets of bloods and an ECG/Holter monitor result from me before he'll see me again. Hopefully later this month.
I found an unopened pack of sleeping pills in my mum's so I am taking one tonight because it's Friday. If I don't get something resembling a sleep soon I will lose my mind completely.
-
Hi all
So sad to read all these stories. It is really awful that the best option is to leave work for so many of us. I agree that menopause awareness in the workplace should be addressed. I am glad not to be alone too, it makes it a bit easier to deal with.
Flufferama, I know how you feel. I have a senior position and have worked hard and been successful all my career. I never dreamed it might end at 45 years old. You could try menopace as a short term fix. That did help me to start with. HRT has stopped my hot flushes and night sweats, so an improvement even though the insomnia is not resolved. I tried one sleeping tablet but it left me feel like a zombie the next day, so I have decided not to go there again.
Sally66, I hope the iron tablets help for you.
I went to my GP today. He has given me a prescription for patches. But I have to finish the rest of my Estelle tablets - 2.5 weeks to go. Lets hope that a different HRT may help with the insomnia.
best wishes for everyone struggling to make it through the day at work
-
I was made redundant last year after fighting for it for a year as I wanted to work for myself and needed the payout to get established. A few months later I had to stop working for 6 months as was too ill to carry on but, of course, I didn't get any sick pay and still had to pay for prescriptions and taxis to and from docs/hospital (as too dizzy to drive) as self employed can't claim benefits.
However, if I had still been at the company they would have assumed I was exaggerating the symptoms in order to try to get the redundancy more quickly and, knowing what they were like, they would have done everything in their power to fire me without pay! I heard they had doctors on their payroll, and their side, for these occasions... On the plus side they had some great private GPs on site who may have figured out my issues due to the extra time they have with you - who knows?
Men and women were treated very differently there, men were the adults (who could be trusted to work from home) and women were the children (who would obviously go shopping if they were allowed to work from home)... Get the idea? Whenever a man was off sick there would be no issue and no comment, as soon as someone announced a female wasn't coming in, the tutting, shaking of heads would start. Oh and this was meant to be an international forward thinking bank.
The problem with bringing in a menopause policy, is that it would be another reason to employ men over women. I guess it really should be the GPs who take it more seriously so they can sign women off and back up the seriousness of their condition. Signing someone off with anxiety is seen as an excuse by employees and you also have to declare mental health on some new job medical applications - although not sure if that is HR confidential for background.
If you're deeply unhappy in your job, do hunt around as there are some lovely jobs out there. I was very luck to get a part-time placement close to home to top up my income (after losing 6 months and I'm not great with marketing my own business!) and it was just through Googling about one day to see what sort of local jobs were on offer. It's easy (esp. with hormonal angst!) to fear making changes or earning less, but things never tend to be as bad as the worst case scenarios we come up with which stop us moving on.
Go for it and take the plunge! Work-life balance sometimes involves risk and taking a pay cut but things always work out in the end. :)
-
Thought I would update everyone. I am still off work, as I have not managed to resolve my insomnia/fatigue, although I think it is slowly improving.
I have a final meeting with work on Thursday where we see if there are options to facilitate my return to work. if not, then my employment is likely to be terminated on the grounds of medical capability. I do have mixed feelings about it - relief that I can stop having to justify that I am not well enough for work, but sad that my career will end in such a way.
On a different note, I had an appointment with an older lady GP last week, who suggested that menopause is a natural process that people should be able to work through, and that she was going to do a depression test. She absolutely did not believe in menopause fatigue and was pretty much suggesting it was in my mind because I didn't want to go back to work. She has referred me to a chronic fatigue clinic though. I shan't be going back to her - it makes you doubt yourself when a GP questions whether you really are ill.
Anyway, onwards and upwards. Hopefully things will work out for the best, and I will look back, and think that it was all for the best.
-
Gosh, reading so many people's experiences on here is heart breaking.
I am fortunate in that I work for myself from home, so when I am whacked in the face with exhaustion completely out of nowhere, I can stop what I am doing, lay down and sleep.
There is no way I could manage going out to work, the insomnia, the foggy brain, the waves of exhaustion, the tears that come from no where, plus the fact that I hate leaving the house unless it's for a GP or Hospital appointment.
I don't know how you all manage.
Don't be hard on yourselves, I think you are all amazing!
-
Hi Sparkle
Yes, I am fairly philosophical about things. I can't change how the menopause is affecting me, so just trying to go along with it. I usually like things planned out in the future to the nth degree, so a new way of thinking for me - something positive the menopause has brought me!
I am hoping to do some work at home, so that I can work around the fatigue. It seems to work for a lot of ladies here - good to hear how you deal with it, MabelBabel.
-
I often wonder how on earth women like Hilary Clinton and T May cope with their jobs. There is no way on God's earth that I could be in their positions. It often feels so unfair that some women are either getting the help they need or are not suffering as many others do. How women can be expected to carry on working until 66 is just bonkers. I feel as if I have had two lives, one where I was a fairly confident well woman and the life I have had since my periods finished which was when all of the horrendous symptoms began; the sweating, anxiety, nausea, irritable bowels, insomnia, loss of concentration, crying etc. I am like so many who have lost out financially to this crap and it makes me feel so angry and upset. My sympathy goes out to all in the same boat, I totally understand the despair that those who are plunged into this can feel. If you are in difficulties financially because of the severity of symptoms it is very hard and the extra stress only exacerbates things!
Meg
-
This is such an interesting post, and makes me feel I'm not alone. I have started a new job with less responsibility than before, but still finding it too much!
I just want to work in a calm and quiet environment and unfortunately a school is exactly not that! ;D
Maybe I need to work in a library! I wish I could win the lottery then I would be able to do I job that I want to do and not because of the money!
But until then I shall plough on and keep looking for that ideal job I have in my head, am going to put some plans into action to achieve this.
Keep going everyone we are doing a fab job.
Xxxx
-
I often wonder how on earth women like Hilary Clinton and T May cope with their jobs. There is no way on God's earth that I could be in their positions.
Meg
I quite agree - I wondered that last night looking at HC at yet another rally! What is she on for goodness sake? I only work part-time ( in my 60's) and need lots of energy for it, but would never be able to do all of that!
Hurdity x
-
This is an excellent post; I posted myself earlier this week on a new thread and said I was currently off sick due to exhaustion caused by insomnia and was worrying that I would be sacked; I was watching Hillary Clinton on the news and also wondered how the hell she manages but pots of money and access to the best specialists and treatment... I'm surprised the menopause hasn't been brought up during the campaign ..... I now have a stinking cold no doubt due to being run down due to lack of sleep....joy. I desperately want to give up my job but can't afford to....would love a part time job in the local library...
-
Hello ladies.
I just wanted to add my admiration for all of you who are working whilst experiencing the worst that meno can throw at us.
Talking of amazing women I've just seen a television item featuring Felicity Kendall and thought that she must be on more medication than you could shake a stick at lol!
Incidentally Mrs Thatcher was known to be visited every six weeks by a woman who gave her injections. People were told they were vitamins but who knows, Mrs T did study chemistry after all.
Take care all.
K.
-
I find myself looking at every woman who I encounter who is working and looks as though they are of an age to be menopausal and wonder how they can do it. I think some people struggle with menopause and some people have an easier time.
Fiftygirl, I feel your pain with the insomnia. I hope it settles soon for you. I always go off to sleep OK, but then wake every hour or two throughout the night. I woke this morning at 5 and couldn't go back to sleep worrying about my work meeting. Then, because I am tired, I have been irritable with the kids, which I feel bad about.
I am lucky in that we can just afford for me to not work. I am doing lots of food budgeting, and am probably spending 1/2 to 2/3rds less on food now. I do feel guilty to put all the pressure of earning on to my husband though, and feel mortified that I am likely to be sacked - I feel a bit like I have done something wrong sometimes - usually at 5 in the morning when I am less rational!
Nikki180515, sorry to hear that your change in job hasn't helped. I don't know how you manage full time. I hope you manage to get that ideal job
-
This makes me sooooo angry! Another example of unfairness to women. This is interesting:
http://www.downslaw.co.uk/stay-informed/library/employment/work-and-the-menopause/
Alexxx
-
An interesting article. Unfortunately, employers are able to dismiss staff with long term illness as long as they consult with occupation health and try to make reasonable adjustments.