Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: babyjane on July 23, 2016, 09:27:00 AM
-
primary school teachers in year 5 take a sex education class about periods for the girls and erections and wet dreams for the boys which is good and something we never had at school. I can still remember being so scared when my periods started and I thought babies came out of the tummy button!
However young women are taught nothing about the menopause, which is also going to happen to most of them at some point in their adult life.
I think that menopause ought to be covered in health education in sixth form or college, I really do. I have shared my menopause with my daughter who, like me, thought it was just when your periods stop and you get a bit hot (thank goodness for the teaching on this website and in this forum). DD doesn't like what she has learned from me but is glad because she will be more aware when she gets to middle age.
Why aren't young women taught about the other end of their reproductive life ???
-
Girls are starting periods much younger these days, so good idea to be taught, as with boys. Although hard to believe that even now parents aren't doing it. I told our daughter when she was about 9 years of age, kept it simple. Told hubby to speak to son. To this day I still think he didn't though. 🤔
My daughter is already thinking about thoughts of Meno in about 10 years time. Right when GDs will be in throws of puberty! Heaven help her poor hubby! 😂
-
The first sex education lesson I had was in 6th form. All I can remember is the lady rolling a condom on to a banana!
I spoke to both my children. I bought a book to help me explain. I think it was by Claire Raynor. The illustrations were fairly explicit. I pitched things as and when I felt the children were ready. One day my son asked how babies were made. Just as I was about to launch into an explanation...deep breath....he announced he knew, rushed to get the book and said, " Look, the man lies on top of the lady." Then he looked at the next page, which showed an erect penis and said, " that's bigger than Daddy's!"
I think sex education is ideally best done at home, where the parent can pitch it at the level and understanding of the child. But as many of us know it is often avoided, maybe because of embarrassment. Schools have to provide this service, but sometimes the child may not be ready. I was working with a 10 year old girl, who was quite distressed after someone had come in to school to give lessons. She told me it was disgusting and couldn't imagine doing anything of the kind when she was grownup. She simply wasn't ready.
Just as important and from a very early age, I told my children not be afraid to say no to anything that made them feel uncomfortable and that they should never feel compelled to do things because of peer pressure, bullying etc. Also, if they were touched or spoken to in a way by someone, that felt uncomfortable, then it was ok to tell either us or a trusted adult, regardless of what the person said.
-
Don't girls read the back pages of magazines these days which is where I got my questions from: then I asked my Mum, one thing she wasn't was backwards about coming forwards. My friends in Sec School sent me home with questions for my Mum 'cos there's wouldn't discuss sex ::).
Menopause should be discussed when a lady goes for her pregnancy tests ;-). There should be more info in GP Surgeries, Libraries etc..
-
I have an 11 year old who is home educated. She's never really been interested in anything to do with growing up although I have explained about periods etc.
I bought her an Usborne book that covers all sorts growing up type subjects, periods, sex,boys etc etc.
She says she's not ready to learn things like that, it is quite graphic in places, but it's there for when she does feel ready.
Children mature at different times, not all are ready for the sex education lessons given in Primary school.
Have also spoken to her about menopause as am going through it myself but tbh I don't think she takes much in.
-
I don't think we take it in until we begin each Stage of Life. Knowing that bleeding is normal is very helpful to a young girl and there is so much choice in sanitary wear these days - no need to suffer belts, loops and pads!
Menopause is way 'out there' at 11 years old ::) - something old ladies deal with :D
Parents should be open to questions at all times. My Dad wouldn't discuss it with me although Mum insisted he knew each month >:( ……..
-
I haven't got children but I would like to think that younger women will be able to avoid the menopause completely - I would see this a real progress. I have just about managed to do this myself with HRT (55 and no menopause symptoms) and I would like to think that in time, women will be able to splice oestrogen into their system as soon as their own levels drop and hopefully use a non-hormonal coil type device to stop the lining building up and bringing an end to the much hated progesterone which causes so many women to stop using HRT.
We desperately need a replacement for the progesterone part of HRT.
-
My three daughters well and truly no about the menopause. I have/had the most awful VA/bladder issues and forwarned is forarmed , and contrary to popular thoughts with the Gps I was still having regular 28 day cycles no hot flushes mine is all vaginal/ bladder/ skin / eyes . HRT for life here.
I think Mother Nature is very cruel , we produce and bring up the next generation , they start there own lives and poof sex life over , and put on the scrap heap by most of the medical profession , bar a few.
Men can get viagra as and when , we have to almost beg for HRT , the pill is given out like candy which has far more potential nasty side effects than HRT.
Sorry moan.
YES they do need to be taught , and also the potential of leaving it to late and not being able to get pregnant as the girls these days are far more career/ travel minded , and suddenly get to 35 and uh oh.
-
Nature is purely interested in furthering the species. It's not bothered about how we feel unfortunately.
My mum explained to me about menopause when she was 53 and I was 18 and I watched her go from a competent, level-headed person to a dripping, exhausted wreck. I was not at all interested though when she tried to explain and when she bemoaned the fact that she had gained two stone in weight I said "You're 53 who's bothered what you look like anyway". I feel so sad now that I didn't understand more but she just fixed me with a look and said "you wait my girl your time will come". She was right as always! I didn't understand the way the menopause can change you mentally and emotionally and I really didn't want to know because, of course, I wouldn't be at all like that when I got to that age ;D. She did use HRT for a year when I was 19 and it made a world of difference to her. When she stopped it her symptoms didn't return apart from occasional hot flushes.
I agree that men can easily get viagra if they pay privately for it Maryjane but it's by no means available to every man on the NHS from what I've experienced. I think with HRT the fact still remains that it is the length of years are bodies are exposed to oestrogen which affects the risk of us developing certain cancers and this is what the medical profession home in on every time. As long as we are given all of the facts then I agree it is up to us as to whether we continue with HRT (which gives us so many benefits) or stop which can cause us great discomfort.
Taz x
-
Why is sex life over :-\ - another thread maybe? 'cos mine certainly ain't over ……..
-
My mother had a very simple talk with me about periods and sex. I had the classes in school as well but probably learned most at the cafeteria table. The birthing center held classes about pregnancy. I agree, there's nothing for menopause.
Most of what I learned at home about periods, pregnancy, and menopause had a very negative spin on it, that girls are fine until they start their periods when they become overly emotional and crazy. Repeat for pregnancy. Repeat for menopause.
I never really thought about the way all these feminine processes were presented to me, and how it relates to my own experience. No wonder I had such a rough time going into this! It's been imprinted in my mind that I was fine before but I'm now a lesser woman, irrational and overly sensitive, for being at this stage. I've been fighting it so hard!
Thanks for posting this, babyjane. I'll need to include menopause when it's time to discuss periods with my daughter.
-
In my original post I did not advocate talking about menopause at the same time as periods, it would be too much for a pre teen to get their head round. I suggested it could be approached in 6th form or college once the girls are young women.
They certainly need to know the whole story from beginning to end. Ignorance certainly is not bliss.
-
CLKD because the pain from VA / bladder / nerve pain is excruciating, three episiotomies with scar tissue that looks like spaghetti junction, and no amount of oestrogen can help it.
-
my husband and I have a loving relationship but we have not had full sex for years due to problems on both sides. we are quite happy with the situation.
People who do not have sex into old age should not feel that there is anything wrong with them.
-
At the bottom of this thread, on my computer anyway, there is an advert advising which foods to eat - it's shows a rather large cucumber! Google's picked up on the Viagra word I think. ;D ;D ;D
Taz x
-
Meaning??? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Well.. you can put your own interpretation on it.... but it's now been replaced with "Reason why men pull away". Sorry to hijack this thread.
Taz x ;D
-
AAAHHH - physicality rather than 'gone off' ;)
-
Don't girls read the back pages of magazines these days which is where I got my questions from: then I asked my Mum, one thing she wasn't was backwards about coming forwards. My friends in Sec School sent me home with questions for my Mum 'cos there's wouldn't discuss sex ::).
Menopause should be discussed when a lady goes for her pregnancy tests ;-). There should be more info in GP Surgeries, Libraries etc..
Not every woman gets pregnant...childless women are discriminated against enough as it is without withholding menopause info from them! I'd suggest leaflets on the information rack, next to the ones on stopping smoking, signs of cancer etc. And also, maybe providing information on the first well woman check past 30 or 35.
-
At the bottom of this thread, on my computer anyway, there is an advert advising which foods to eat - it's shows a rather large cucumber! Google's picked up on the Viagra word I think. ;D ;D ;D
Taz x
Mine's showing mobility scooters and shopping trollies - dread to think what that says about me! :o
S x
The advert on my page is for Barclays Bank but on Facebook I get ones for 50+ insurance and similar.
My Mum told me about periods. I remember her showing me the Dr Whites and the sanitary belt though I chose the stick on version once I started. I remember exactly what happened when I actually started my first period at school. My only recollection of sex education at school is a teacher telling us about condoms and showing one. He was an older man and a respected teacher but he looked really uncomfortable. I also did some in 'O' level science lessons
-
We desperately need a replacement for the progesterone part of HRT.
This ^^. IMO this is the one major flaw with HRT. Women shouldn't be forced to either have hysterectomies or to give up all the benefits of estrogen simply because they can't tolerate continuous progesterone or they don't want to have periods for the rest of their lives. This is an area that definitely needs more research.
-
Don't girls read the back pages of magazines these days which is where I got my questions from: then I asked my Mum, one thing she wasn't was backwards about coming forwards. My friends in Sec School sent me home with questions for my Mum 'cos there's wouldn't discuss sex ::).
Menopause should be discussed when a lady goes for her pregnancy tests ;-). There should be more info in GP Surgeries, Libraries etc..
Not every woman gets pregnant...childless women are discriminated against enough as it is without withholding menopause info from them! I'd suggest leaflets on the information rack, next to the ones on stopping smoking, signs of cancer etc. And also, maybe providing information on the first well woman check past 30 or 35.
As someone who never had children, I agree Dorothy. I think it would be more appropriate to start discussing it with women in their 30s when they go for their pap smears.
I was someone who was totally clueless about menopause. Mind you I don't know if I would have taken much notice of any early information though because I never had any hormonal issues, so I stupidly made the assumption menopause would also be no big deal.
I also think younger women really don't want to think about getting older, or what life will be like once they reach their 50s. Society has never been very kind to us older ladies, so I can't blame the younger women for wanting to put their heads in the sand for as long as possible. I did.
-
In my original post I did not advocate talking about menopause at the same time as periods, it would be too much for a pre teen to get their head round. I suggested it could be approached in 6th form or college once the girls are young women.
They certainly need to know the whole story from beginning to end. Ignorance certainly is not bliss.
I think giving an overview of beginning to end is a good idea when they learn about periods and sex. Obviously one can't go into great depth, as they don't need or care to know at that age, but something like "here is the life cycle of your reproductive system". I can't be sure that I'll be alive or have a relationship conducive to that kind of conversation when my daughter is in her thirties. The education as part of wellness exams at a certain age would be great, something like how at whatever age women begin mammograms or colonoscopy. If it became standard, over time it would become common knowledge.
-
Think they should also include information on early menopause. I had symptoms for years which I knew were 'like' menopausal symptoms, but didn't think it could be because I was 'too young'. No one ever told me it can happen in your 30s (or younger)
Our 'human biology' section at school was so 'scientific' and impersonal that we never actually made the connection between what we were studying & our own bodies! ::) I think the idea was that parents would teach the rest at home, but my mother made such a hash of it that I was still fuzzy about the whole process when I was 16.
-
my mother never spoke about bodily functions and told me nothing at all.
I was talking to DD about the menopause again this weekend, just in a matter of fact way and mentioned early menopause. She told me that she knows someone who went into early menopause at 19 years of age and went into shock when it was explained to her. She still hasn't come to terms with it, or the loss of any children she may have had naturally.
It is such a privilege to have a relationship with my DD that allows us to talk naturally about these things. Hopefully she will retain the facts for the future.
-
Point taken. I didn't have children but somehow menopause [The Change] arrived in my vision quite early on (before I was 30). I had aunts I suppose who began to grow chin hair so was told at the age of 11-ish that it was something that 'happened to old ladies'.
I think the physicality can arrive as a shock to ladies though at a time when we should be moving forwards and looking towards retirement etc..
-
The only sex education I got was a video for girls only at school, and the agony aunt sections in magazines. My mother never made any effort to discuss anything with me, and I was somewhat horrified when I got my first period. She never mentioned her manopause either, although looking back I think she had anxiety issues, and I don't have any close female friends so I think I was probably suffering peri-menopause symptoms for at least 2 years before I even thought there could be any changes going on with my body. As far as menopause is concerned this site is my only source of information (and I am extremely grateful to everyone here for sharing their experiences).
-
I remember my Mum having acid reflux, she was often taking Milk of Magnesia. She would also flop down and drop off to sleep, crashing fatigue? But it was never discussed. I was married and away by her early 50s …….