Menopause Matters Forum
Menopause Discussion => All things menopause => Topic started by: Spangles on March 11, 2016, 06:58:46 PM
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Hi ladies,
I had my peri diagnosed around 4-5yrs ago, can't remember to be honest! ( meno symptom )!
Some times I thing I'm doing great then something sets me off again and I'm a wreck. My anxiety is quite high at the moment and like many of you I feel like I'm getting ill again with my depression and anxiety and relate it all to starting another breakdown, very scary!
My rational head tells me it's my hormones and it will pass, but my irrational head puts me back.
What I'm asking is how long you have been 'going through it' and can you relate to how I'm feeling?
Look forward to your replies.
Shellb
xXx
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Hi! I can definitely relate! I've been going through peri with physical symptoms for a few years, but the up and down, anxiety and depression started only 6 months ago. Well, actually the anxiety had been building for some time before that, but I fully broke down about 6 months ago. I've since started HRT and am keeping my head above water now, but the ups and downs are still with me in the background. I'm considering asking for an adjustment to my HRT, as I've learned from this past few months that plodding through with a positive attitude works well for awhile but if it all catches up to me things get really bad. I keep telling myself it's only hormones and it will pass, and that does help, but I get so exhausted with it intruding in my life.
How close to the end of it do you think you are? Are you medicating/supplementing/going at it completely free?
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Hi Lizab,
I use citalopram 40mg per day, evorel 50 and utrogestan 200!
Haven't got a clue how far along I am mad I don't want to stop the HRT to find out at the moment.
I do think that when my own hormone kick in it affects the anxiety, definitely.
xXx
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Started in 2013 I'd say and managed ok till January of last year when the anxiety started up along with various odd symptoms like hives and tingling. Escalated last September and it's been a rollercoaster ride since then - anxiety up and down and some days it's a struggle to see past that day if I'm honest. Currently it's the adrenaline surges and skippy heart beats that are scaring life out of me- my GP just tells me that all these things are par for course for the menopausal transition and not to worry so much but that is easy when it's not you. I think our rational heads just get swamped by all the adrenaline swishing round with the decline of our hormones. I'm not on HRT but think the day is looming when I'll have to decide a better now is worth more than a possible crap outcome in the future. X
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Hi there.
Started for me at 48 ish.....toughest time around then until I was 50..….now tomorrow I will be 53 and the Meno is just part of my journey in life xx
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Started at 52 now 65 and things still happen. HRT kept me sane and gave me quality of life eliminating most of the awful symptoms that's why I've chosen to go back on it after a year off, the doctor agreed. Only sufferers know how debilitating the anxiety/adrenaline rush and the like affect all areas of life plus all the awful meno symptoms......if doc is happy then I will continue with it indefinitely.......I guess something will eventually come and "bite me on the bum" as they say but until then I want to feel well at this stage of my life
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I started with the fluttery heart beat and the occasional of the chart anxiety attack about 6 years ago and things have gradually built up since then. I found that understanding what it is makes it happen made it so much easier for me to deal with as I am able to use NLP techniques to control it and relate to it more positively.
Fessing up to it and letting others know about it really helps too as I no longer have to hide it. Also knowing that it isnt me, its just my hormones means that I can detach myself from it. I use different strategies to deal with different aspects of it and of course the HRT helps immensely as the adrenalin surges are exhausting over a protracted period of time.
I have had to alter my life to reduce external stressors and triggers and make time for more focussed relaxation but after almost 50 years of striving, I think that's a good thing. ;)
Oh, helping others to deal with it really helps me too. :D
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peri started age 44im now 50. first symptoms were crying low mood inability to cope it hit me like a ton of bricks then very quickly hot flushes and awful night sweats kicked in.in past six years I have been on different anti depressants plus propranalol and valium none of which have helped and 5 different hrt types the one im onnow which I started in February has got rid of the flushes and night sweats thankfully but mood can still go at tge drop of a hat . my mam had one hideous final period aged 54 no symptoms at all and that wss it for her.now I dont have tge heat oozing from me 24 hours a day I feel a lot better and other things are more copable.have no idea how far off menopause I am but it cant be worse than the peri its ruined my life and I lost most of my forties and my job because of the anxiety abd depression I have suffered with it .
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Don't know when I started really as I had a hysterectomy at 38 but my first hot flush/night sweat occurred at 52 and I am now 59. I think my hormone levels started fluctuating before this but as I was not having bleeds I had no way of knowing. Looking back now I guess it all started around 44, so 6 years after my hysterectomy.
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Hi Shelby, I'm going through a really rough patch too....had a horrendous suicidal night last night and period started this morning....just trying to ride the shockwaves today.....started with uncontrollable panic 2 years ago but some symptoms before.....have upped my ad as of last week so hopefully next month will be better....hugs to you xxx
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Some times I thing I'm doing great then something sets me off again and I'm a wreck. My anxiety is quite high at the moment and like many of you I feel like I'm getting ill again with my depression and anxiety and relate it all to starting another breakdown, very scary
Hi Shellb
Yes I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I've been going through this meno cr@p for c.9 years - and in many ways I'm a shadow of my former self.
I've found it difficult to work out what is depression and anxiety - and what is meno induced - or are the two intrinsically linked. Often mentally feel not that far away from the edge of the precipice.
"Some times I thing I'm doing great then something sets me off again and I'm a wreck." Yes, yes - quickly I can be reduced to a blubbering wreck - also think that I've turned a corner and improving, then I'll be right back to square one and crushed.
The longer meno has gone on, the more depleted mental and physical reserves have become, coping abilities zero. Always waking up tired doesn't help.
Sorry this is gloomy, just telling it how it is, no sugar coating - hope somehow in some small way it makes you feel that you're not alone in all this, others are on the same journey.
Let's hope for better days ...
x
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Hi Shelb and Nightowl
Oh how I can relate to your posts. At the moment I am at the end of my tether. I have been what I can only describe as "suffering" for seven years. I am on a roller coaster of feeling goodish one hour of the day to plummeting to suicidal thoughts a couple of hours later. I can now cry for England and have tried so very hard to help myself. You name it, I've tried it - Diet, exercise, meditation, working at key relationships, new things to learn ( for the brain), time out, saying no, drugs, no drugs, alcohol, no alcohol, eating healthily, eating what the hell I like, conselling, CBT. Now I don't know where to turn and feel like I am in a living hell, either feeling s..t or waiting to feel s..t.
Sorry, but as you might have guessed - feeling s..t at the moment. Tomorrow I may feel ok but then again I might not!!!! :'(
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No end in sight. Started with serious hot flushes and sweats when periods finished at fifty. That was where my old healthy self ended! Still flushing at sixty-one. Can empathise totally with all. Ramped up anxiety, depression, crying, morning nausea, loss of concentration is awful. Before this happened to me I really had no idea about menopause, used to think other ladies having flushes was a bit of a joke! How wrong I was.
Meg
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All of us women suffering to such an extent and for such long periods of time not weeks or months buy years its shocking .I find it hard to reconcile my mind to the fact that there is not better help available. if we said to men that they would loose a large portion of their lives forty onwards and totally feel like shit then im sure there would be a riot .
even though peri has ruined my life I know im better off thanwomen centries ago who didnt have hrt therapy etc but id like to think research is still happening so future generations of women dobt suffer at all .I wonder if it is ?
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As discussed on here before, in times gone by some women were sent to the asylum - I would have been a candidate for that! Witches banished to caves, up all night making potions - menopausal women?
What is so frustrating is that meno feels like being ill *forever*.
Always *waiting* to feel better, tomorrow I'll feel better - and then you find that years pass - no levelling out - just feeling worse and worse and looking more haggard and wretched (with a miserable gob and stringy hair in my case).
Ellie555 - yes I know what you mean, so frustrating - you try so hard *to help yourself* and it makes sod all difference. I eat comfort chocolate etc whenever I feel like it, it doesn't make on jot of difference when I abstain for months on end.
Feeling like sh/t or waiting to feel like sh/t. OH YES.
Sometimes I do wonder if I'm tipping over into serious mental health issues - eg. when I'm feeling particularly ropey, I find it hard to motivate myself to do anything - then when I feel *marginally* better, I'll rush around like a mad thing trying to catch up but feeling very anxious with a racing mind. An overriding feeling of *not being in control*.
Meanwhile, friends and acquaintances seem to be sailing through without a sniff of this shedload of crap to deal with, lives carrying on as normal. You know how that can be - some women can be competitive - sure they either pity me or think I'm drama queen-ing.
It is despairing and hard to take on board that it could be like this for the rest of one's life.
Sorry for the rant! Menopausal treatment is still very much in its infancy.
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Oh Night_owl :'( :'( :'(
I cried my eyes out when I read your post, I could be you xxxx
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Dear Ladies, your posts comfort me, just knowing that others are experiencing such awful symptoms!
I too wonder and hope that more research is being done but have not read about anything which in itself is depressing. I have lost so much of my confidence and courage through this hormonal meltdown. I try to press on but it is a battle when the hormones drop and the confidence plummets. The old me was nothing like this. I know that my brain is trying to flog my ovaries to perform normally again and that they are having none of it. This is having grave consequences on me mentally and physically. I too wonder why some women seem to be so badly affected while some appear to be far less so. I am glad that at least we have these forums as meno still seems to be something of a taboo subject with some women, at least it has opened up a little.
Meg
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Oh dear Night_Owl
I am so sorry to read your post, especially having known you on here over the years struggling through your journey. Some of us seem to be more unlucky than others in this respect and you are one such. I know you have had a lot to deal with recently as well as menopause and please do not let yourself suffer more than you need to re mental health issues. Please go and get some help if you can, and ignore those competitive women - if they are making you feel bad then don't spend any time with them. You don't need that.
I wish I could help but sadly I can't but please have a :bighug: from me.
Take care
Hurdity xx
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I can relate to so much in your post Night Owl- spent 3 hrs of my 50th yesterday in a and e with racing heart and feeling rubbish- male dr suggested further heart tests as a possibility but when he went off shift saw a lovely woman in her fifties who just said menopause is hell and she recommended sorting hormones and anxiety out before doing anything else- she was so kind and I felt that someone was acknowledging my pain and not writing me off as neurotic hypochondriac- my lady GP is nice enough but is everything I am not- cool, collected and holding down a high powered job whilst no doubt being in peri too as she is my age- and i just feel useless and pathetic turning up week after week with my woes. In the past, I'd look to my GP to tell me what to do, but now it is all just 'what do you want to do?" which is great when you are capable of making a decision but not so good when you can't even decide what knickers to wear.
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what a sorry bunch we are I wish you could all pop around to mibe and we coukd listen to each other and have a hug. thats what this forun is like a huge room where we can pop in and out for support.
if anyone lives in north east Newcastle area pm me and maybe we coukd meet up for extra support ?
I still think until men suffer nothing will change !
coldethyl I laughed at your difficulty choosing Knicks but you had it spot on there . myvfemake gp is fab but about 35 im sure she looks and me and wonders if thats who she will become especially as im always tellibg her how im not tge person I was in my thirties !
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I just wish there was access to walk in clinics like they have for family planning or even sessions at your GP surgery were you could book a longer appointment with someone who has had extra training in women's issues. Sometimes you just want a bit of reassurance that you aren't going mad/dying/ turning into your mother ( oh hang on that is true) but because you fear being labelled a time waster you struggle on getting more anxious and depressed. I've developed lots of weird symptoms since hitting peri and some old ones like ectopic heart beats and fibromyalgia have returned or worsened and no one seems able to do the joined up thinking and see the bigger picture , or if they do think menopause, they just think you should be ok with the symptoms because it's just that. I just wish that someone in the medical profession that I see would say that they believe me that things sometimes feel so bad that dying seems a preferable option and spend some time seeing how they could treat the various issues I'm having as part of a 'syndrome' rather than individual random ailments.
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very sad and very real.
maybe the reason there are no walk in meno clinics is because they would be over ran with menopausal wome and the staff would be at a loss what to do with us all.
maybe we should try a petition ?
menopause strips us of ourselves and its the worse feeling in the world. im having a few tears now
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very sad and very real.
maybe the reason there are no walk in meno clinics is because they would be over ran with menopausal wome and the staff would be at a loss what to do with us all.
maybe we should try a petition ?
menopause strips us of ourselves and its the worse feeling in the world. im having a few tears now
I can relate to that. I sat sobbing alone in my bed yesterday which was my 50th birthday and thought that my only solution was to end it all as I felt so detached from who I used to be and life around me. Today I feel a bit brighter and ready to face living this way again. Hormonal swings suck and I wish there was more local self help groups for women of our age.
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Well ladies what can I say?
My intention with this thread was not to create a sad one. However I think It highlights how much women go through mentally and physically with menopause. Thank you all for your frank replies, it's good to know we are not alone.
Next question I suppose is will we ever feel well again?
Hugs
Shellb
xXx
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and my answer from my own experience is that yes, we can, but with some limitations that ageing can bring :)
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Ladies, so sorry to read that you are suffering so much - you ALL have my sympathies. Meno can be truly ghastly and life-changing. "If you are going through hell - keep going" springs to mind - 'tis all we can do and hope for brighter days. In my 40s I thought that my 50s would be better, now I'm thinking maybe my 60s will be brighter.
Coldeythl - how awful for you on your 50th birthday to wind up in A&E. By way of info, recently I had worsening palpitations and the GP arranged a 24 hour heart monitor to check on the ectopic heartbeats. Have you had this done? (My last birthday was totally ruined, beautiful sunny day, days booked off work, family trip to the coast - the heat/sun brought on a severe migraine. just great). You made me smile - re: knicker decision-making - I'm with you on that one (my preferred choice: safe, comfy, baggy, old lady ones).
I found the panic/dread seems to subside over time - albeit still there but the volume is turned down a bit - the body goes into some sort of shock when the ovaries first pack up functioning - but I had to take HRT and get referred to a meno clinic as I was a total basket case - and yes I felt like (and still do) a hypochondriac.
Hurdity - thanks for your kind words. Feel I should get off these boards as all I do is bang on about negative stuff, progesterone intolerance and migraine, just wish it was different.
Shellb - "Will we ever feel well again". Somehow we have to keep Hope, Faith and Willpower that there will be brighter days. At least we are not alone on this journey - it's not just you feeling this way.
x
amended - I can't even spell properly these days!
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No one seems that bothered by my palpitations night Owl... I've had them on and off for years and was admitted to hospital for tests including 24hr monitor when they started. Saw a GP last weekend and they weren't concerned just said to up my BBs slightly to help with the adrenaline surges. I need to see my own GP about HRT as that was what hospital doctor suggested so will see what they say.q
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Feel I should get off these boards as all I do is bang on about negative stuff, progesterone intolerance and migraine, just wish it was different.
x
Night_Owl!!!! That's what these boards are for - to help women of all kinds get support and understanding for their symptoms and feelings. It is exactly the sort of place where you can be as negative as you like if you are feeling rough physically and/or mentally, and no-one will judge you for it. Hopefully you may be able to feel a little bit better some of the time - and definitely focus on the little things that help with this that you can latch onto when you're feeling down. Sorry if that sounds like empty words - I know I have been lucky, and I feel for you.
Take care
Hurdity xx
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I don't know really. 2.5 years maybe. I'm not doing well at all. I am feeling terrible today, very unstable and very tearful.
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sparkle - :hug:
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I'm finding myself glowering at women my age who look great and happy and appear to be sailing through all this with no problem. Resentment isn't an attractive emotion but some days it helps!
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there is no way of knowing what is going on in their lives, what is happening behind the great and happy facade. Some women are good at covering up their personal troubles.
Then again they could be using HRT successfully.
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I know. You can never know what others are experiencing but some look so carefree that I can't believe their lives feel anything like mine. A close friend from uni who is going through it also has had a couple of night glows and put on a pound. She looks like I have two heads when I say I feel like I've had my soul sucked out. X
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Nightowl- what you say about the body going into some sort of shock is so true! It is a complete shock on the body and mind. When this hit me, practically overnight, I remember saying how weird I felt. My friend encouraged me to visit the doctor, and I asked "And tell him what? That I feel wierd?" A few weeks later when I did finally drag myself in, that's roughly what I told him, that I felt weird and was losing my mind.
Coldethyl- I'm not sure of your age, but I'm assuming your at a normal menopausal age. I have been stuck in a self-pity cycle because I'm only 39 and no one understands what I'm going through. I don't work, and the teachers and other mothers at my older child's school think I'm a deadbeat because I don't volunteer for anything. I have been very active every year until this one. No one has said anything negative to me, but I can feel the vibe. In a bizarre way it makes me feel better to know that I would have felt this alienation whether it hit me in my 30s, 40s, or 50s. And yes, I look at other women with a little resentment sometimes too, especially women in their 20s, then I feel smug laughing inside that they have no idea what their future holds ;D I know it's mean but whatever, it helps me through!
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Lizab , I'm 50 and this has been going on for 4 yrs at least. I can't believe that other women I see are having issues as I just can't put a brave face on and know I look like I'm 150 most days.
I can relate so much to the feeling weird - I just don't feel like me anymore and have so manny odd symptoms that sometimes I feel I've developed a hitherto unknown syndrome- aches, anxiety, gynae issues, tingling, migraines and so on. Some days it's hard to know what symptom to pay attention to. I sometimes beat myself up and tell myself that it's just me that can't cope and that I'm a hypochondriac but really, I'd defy anyone to feel upbeat and in control with what a lot of us are going through.
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Well, Coldethyl, as I've finally got my head above water most days, I'm starting to be able to pick apart what to ignore and what's really bothersome. As for the mental parts, at this point what's bothering most is that I can't multitask at all. I'm usually fine if I can get myself into a task undisturbed. I can't sit at a table where multiple conversations are going on. I can't handle two people talking to me at once. I can't carry on a conversation while I'm cooking dinner. My brain just can't do it anymore. I can't shop with my children. Gosh, I can't even drive with my kids because it's too distracting. And when I have to deal with these situations, my anxiety goes through the roof. I read an e-book from Amazon, I can't recall the name of it (of course) that attributed the multitasking thing to estrogen. I'm trying to decide if I should ask for more estrogen, or if it gets better with time. If it should improve, I'd rather not bump my estrogen as eventually I'll have to decrease it again.
Most of the physical things I'm ignoring now. They're annoying, but it's natural for me to ignore nagging aches and pains. I'm stupidly stubborn with pain, often to the amazement of my doctors and when I should have sought help (shingles, a snake bite, and a burst ovarian cyst come to mind). I also think other women are going through it but it's too big for words. I have one friend that has had our problems, and we rarely get into discussing it beyond saying it's awful. She "goes down in her back" quite often, and for years I really thought she had major back issues, but she would be absolutely fine other times. Now that I've caught up with (and maybe surpassed) her, I know that being in bed down in her back for days probably had nothing to do with her back. And in hindsight, I remember my grandmother, my mother, and an aunt being "down in her back" all the time, that or migraines. I guess we should pick a more socially acceptable ailment than menopause to blame!
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Hello ladies.
When I saw this question my first thought was to answer 'too long!'. I'm sure many of you would agree.
Coldethyl - I totally understand your sensation of having your soul sucked out and I've also been on the receiving end of puzzled looks. One thing I would add is that I have days or more accurately parts of days when I'm sure I seem normal and in control but then feel dreadful later, usually in private. I'm also envious of other women who I believe are doing better than me.
I think all we can hope is that this journey ends happily and as soon as possible!
Wishing you all well.
K.